There’s only so much I can do.
My cup has been overflowing
And so, I drank it as there’s nothing else to do
To stop this from overflowing.
The same poison entered my soul
And started decaying me from the inside.
To kill me myself being it’s only goal.
And I put a facade to mask it on the outside.
I’m trying to be that smiling class clown
Even if I cry myself to sleep every night
Or that I get up from the ground when I fall down
And how the tunnel glowed from my own light.
I want to be as happy as the person
I am when I’m with other humans.
I don’t want to be sad whenever I’m home
Or whenever I isolate myself to be alone.
I’m still trying, there’s only so much I can do.
I’m still fighting, there’s only so much I can take.
I’m still standing, there’s only so much to do.
I’m still smiling, it’s still the same facade.
I keep trying not to fall.
I don’t want to hit the ground
As I’m having too much fun in my mind’s wall.
But there’s only so much I can do.
The same poison, I’ve been drinking
For more than seven years
Are about to turn itself too addicting
As it has seen my flowing tears.
But at the end of the day,
I’m just another hopeless human.
(A/N— Not saying this for pity. I wrote this right after a breakdown. I feel hopeless at the moment. But if you’re someone reading this after like a few days, then I’m completely fine. Don’t worry too much and also eat! Whether you’re fat or skinny, eat! It will help☺️😇🙃)