Rejection and Parents
There’s something to be said about being rejected.
It hurts for one.
After having spent so much time fretting and worrying about things, all it takes is one email. One word. One single phone call…….. For everything to either break or be made.
I hate rejection.
If I was a God I would make it a sin
If I could make the world shiver and force it to bow to my every will, Rejection would be the first thing outlawed.
However I’m not stupid
Rejection isn’t all bad…… It’s simply a form of development.
A necessary occurrence to curb us to what our true calling in life may be……
It’s still a shit feeling in the end though.
I want to say I hate them
To blame them for all the shit I’ve dealt with so far in my life. It’s the simplest thing to do after all.
They birthed me. Gave me no choice in being, in existing and forced me to comply with the expectations of that burden.
To wise up and get educated. Suffer how many years of schooling before heading to a well enough college simply to be hired for a job. Make a living and perhaps even settle and have children. Only to force the cycle onto them.
But why should I?
Why do I have to be sensitive and caring to their opinions?
Why does it matter?
I never asked to be born.
They had the choice of miscarriage, to relieve themselves of the burden I would bring them in raising me. To continue their lives as if the possibility of my life had been nothing but a daydream. To have lived a life without having to consider my well-being.
Only they hadn’t…………………
Instead they chose to keep me. To let me be born and take my first breath. To allow me to breathe in this world and witness the struggle of life. The price to be paid to continue to live comfortably.
It’s rather selfish to me.
I don’t see their gift of life as they call it……..
I see it to be a curse…… A curse they passed on for their own selfish reasons.
Declining the option of snuffing my life out before I had even formed to save their own conscience. A mother’s love they call it……
Nothing more than a woman’s selfish preference.
A man’s ‘noble’ deed.
I hate them……. Only because they birthed me
I hate them……. Only because I suffer
I hate them……. Only because I hate myself for failing to be what they wished
I hate them