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Red Stem

By LunasChild8 All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Poetry

Chapter 1

Making love is a special union,

Where body, mind and soul become one;

The first time is especially magical,

But that’s not always how it’s done.


Some abuse its bond-strengthening effect,

They dominate with their sexually driven minds;

And take away the purity of innocent souls,

Making them practically blind.


To the goodness that can come,

When the act is done with good intention;

It’s a shame to see so many,

Do it merely for attention.


There are those who are lucky,

To not have been violated;

Yet they take it for granted,

And their hearts and conscious become isolated.


It’s fine to seek pleasure,

But it must not be taken lightly;

The act must be performed responsibly,

For the regret will choke you tightly.


For the more you give it away,

The less special it becomes;

Until you’re left with a stem,

And an empty shell that has become numb.

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RodRaglin: Your writing is very good, Rachel, but remember you also have to entertain the reader and in that regard it's a bit sparse in action and dialogue.Consider when revising...When starting a new story always consider your protagonist's Goal - what they want; Motivation - why they want it; and, Confli...

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Deidre L. Swain: I understood where the story was going but the writing skills were lacking a lot. There are some places that had no flow. The plot was good which is what kept me reading the whole story. I think the author shows promise. They just need to tighten up on their skills to really get it going

MissMadokaKaname: I was impressed and moved by this work. The characterization and dialog were strong, and really brought everyone in the story to life. Also, the setting was handled in a believable and compelling way. The story captured the complexities and pain of love, and also the harshness of living in such b...

ryder: This is an excellent read. From beginning to end the author showed his creative and imaginative writing skills. Twists and turns, surprises, humor, and sorrow: This book has it all. I strongly recommend this book, and I am already recommending it to my friends.

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FreakyPoet: I found this story well written and extremely cute. I like how the emotional roller coaster, otherwise know as love, was done here. it was very believable that these two characters would deny, agonize, then come to except their feelings the way that they did. I enjoyed it very much, thank you ...

Animeviewer: It is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story will have you riding a roller coaster of emotions and nearly dying to know what happens next.You will get very attached to the characters and in my case I relate well with some of their very traumatic or emotional experiences, Just Juliet f...

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