Love Your Admirer
I guess you were tired of it all, why couldn’t you let me in, why didn’t you let me in, I could’ve helped, I wanted to help, I’ve even begged to help but you kept pushing me away, refusing all my advances. Why did you bear all the pain, the suffering and responsibilities all on your own when I was willing to help you get through it, to help you see how worthy and special you are and to get you to know that you’re a person who deserved to loved, a person who had a special place on this earth, a person who had mind blowing dreams and aspirations and deserves to be treated like the queen you are.I have always loved you but you never noticed, you never noticed to small glances, the gestures or the way I wanted to be involved in your life, you never did, all you cared about was that man and was blinded by love to see what a horrible person he was.
Learning about your death after I had moved abroad broke me, I was in a state of shock, sadness and anger. I blamed myself, on how I could’ve let all this happen to you, how I could’ve loved someone but didn’t stop and guide them on their path of happiness and how I wasn’t there to protect them. Tears of sadness took over as I thought of you, thought of all the things we could’ve done together if you were still here, thought of the things I could’ve done to make you happier and take way your sadness. As more tears strolled down my face, I thought back to the day when you were smiling, the day that I had fell in love with you and your beautiful smile.
Visiting your grave brought a shadow of great sadness over me, tears prickled my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Putting down my bouquet of flowers -which were compiled of your favorites- on your grave I stared on it for a few minutes before putting down my note which read “ I hope you’re happy and In a better place,wait for me, Love Your Admirer” then I walked away as a tear escaped holding my head high i’ll be with you soon my love I whispered entering my car.
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