This Feeling I can't take it
Tell you all the truth I don’t really recall how I got through the day, it was like I was in a daydream. My mind was on Alec; I could not keep my mind on the game we were playing. When that bell rang I was relived to finely be walking into the change rooms I sat on bench sigh “we won you should be happy we won against the guys to” one of my classmates said.
I sigh “just got another thing on my mind right now”
I take wash before changing and then bath myself in Impulse incense body mist, almost emptying the bottle on myself. “just who are you right to impress?” one asked.
“I never been the one to kiss and tell and I not going to start now” I replied and I make my way to the door wait for teachers to say that this year was over.
Emmie and I walk out towards the car park, and there in front of the school bus was the skyline. Alec was sitting on the hood of the car talking on the phone. “yeah ok, anything else?” he said into the phone.
Emmie pushes me to the front door, I give her look that says “are you out of your mind” she just smiles at me like she has no idea what she just did. Emmie the matchmaker was back that only could means that Alec was back on the market with Emmie you could really say if she did not like his girlfriend she would play matchmaker then too.
I had never felt this lost in his company before, what on earth is going on here. We both reach for the turner and my hand brush against his, I pull my hand back quickly as if my hand had been shocked by his. I turn to look out the window I could feel his eyes on me. I saw Emmie smiling in the back seat from the side mirror.
I now know that I had made a mistake in tell Emmie that I thought Alec had all the looking in the family as far as the three boys go. He was 6′1 tall, tone body with hard tummy, which I knew had a nice six pack. I feel my face turn red as I remember an arms-giving that was at his place. Close my eyes try to forget the picture that was imprinted in my mind all these years ago. It was 1 pm and we had just had lunch the guys want to play at the park close by the house. I didn’t know that day that would get an eye full of Alec. The day would be like a dream and at the same time, it was the one of these embarrassing moments for me as well.
Not really in the mood for games after the arms-giving I want to looking for Emmie and I found front bedroom door half closed. I would see two boys were playing computer games, so I push the door little more and took no more than two step into the room. When I saw movement on the other end of the room from the corner of my eyes. I turn to see, only to see Alec standing there pull off his top. I could see he had well ton body and in my embarrassment, I turn around not only walk out of the room but out of the house as well. I could feel my face turn beetroot red as I gasp for air. All I want to do is runway as far away from him as I could get. I really didn’t think this day could get any worse.
The more I think about all the little signs, the little things that happen over the years that should have told me my feels toward Alec, I over looked not only because I didn’t dread losing his friendship if it would not have worked out for us but also I was scared of the unknown. So I keep this feels deep within me until the day the dame broke and it all came to a point where I couldn’t sleep at night without dreaming of him. Even then I let my fear take hold then came the day I could not even blink my eyes without seen his milk chocolate brown eyes.
I have waited two years before everything I did or saw I was reminded of him. To point I could barely function and final I could not take it anymore. He consumed my mind and so I convince myself that I had to either tell him how I feel or move on. At the dinner party two years ago. Something happen that I should have anticipated yet it took me by surprise.