Talking everything out
Our families were all talking in a big group make plans for tomorrow. There is talk of hitting the beach in the afternoon for little beach cricket. Once everything is planned we want to home and once there we all change when to bed all expect Alec and me. I had told me to meet him downstairs in front of the fireplace. By the time I got ready and when down he had the fire going and was sitting on the sofa with a blanket around him. It was little chilly tonight well for a summer night anyways.
“I don’t want to keep you long,” he said.
“Take all the time you need,” I told him.
I could tell that he had something on his mind. Something about tonight that weighed on him and I knew that it was the fact that I had to pull Turner into the Lady room or something or it also could be about the fact the Turner was going to use him again.
“What is it Alec,” I asked him.
“Dad and I had a long talk when Turner’s left. He told me something that I have always known about you. He said that one thing he likes about you was the fact that you would move heaven or earth to help me and it did matter if we were on a date or not. That action alone shows him that you love me. I told him about the how you told me not to wait for you and how you told me to find mine happily after even if it not with you and he said that it just proofs his point. I know his right I knew this for a long time Lynn” he took my hand and pull me to him and then whispered in my ear “I love you and I know you love me. You have shown it time and time again. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t, I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you or lose you” he told me.
I turn to face him and said “look at me Alec” and with that, our eyes were locked. Looking him dead in the eyes I told him “Life is not all Chocolate and Rose Alec, the road we have picked to go down on is going have it up and downs. I am not perfect and you’re human. You know they say that we human hurt the one we love the most and I sure there well come a time we will not agree on things and we fight likely to hurt one other but it all be ok. I have you know that we have hurt one other even throe we never mean too” I told him.
“What do you mean you have never hurt me and when have I ever hurt you?” He asked.
“When you push me face first into the snow. You have to remember Alec I was in love with you at the time and all I saw all day was that you look Katie. Katie is taller and more lady like than I am and guys don’t like a tomboy. You were smart and every good looking, guys like that don’t give me second look and so it never crosses my mind that you may have been checking me out. I was sitting in that car try to talk myself out love with you by telling myself that been friends were better than nothing at all. Then I went and Hurt myself much more than you ever could at the time and by doing so I hurt you too” I told him.
“Hurt yourself then more than I could have at the time,” he asked me.
“At the park when we had the BBQ that night when I told you I want not ready for a relationship with anyone much less you. Then I told you not to wait for me to go find someone and if you find a happily ever after just go for it. You can’t tell me that it did not hurt you can you?” asked him and he shake his head no. then I continued “I knew from the look of your eyes that this words hurt you and that hurt me more than I can tell you and for that Alec I am sorry” I tell him.
“I was hurt because you wanted me to be happy but because I knew that even if I did find girl that I love to marry her I could never be as happy as I would be if that girl was you, what I try to say is that I was hurt because I did think I could have happily ever after with any other girl” He told me.
I look his face into my hands and kissed his nose and then looking in his eyes “you know what, I was every unhappy for a long time after that night well that was until your 18th birthday. When you whisper ‘I will marry you one day’ in my ear you gave me hope that day. Hope that I had lost over the years after meeting the girls you were dating. Most of all Liz, I knew that if she had stayed I would have lost you to her and I was ok with that because I could see the love she had for you in her eyes. Then there was Catlin one of my close friends. I would have done anything for the two of you. But when Turner come around I… well we just say that she was right when she told you I didn’t like her that day I meant her at the arms given of cause at the time I didn’t know why I didn’t like her and so I gave her a free pass that day” I told him.
“She said that you told her that you would squish her like a bug if she ever hurt me,” he said.
“Don’t worry I plan too, tomorrow?” I tell him.
“I love you,” he said and I could help it I kissed him and I tell you that this young man has some kind of spell on me. A spell that I can’t break even if I could I wouldn’t want too. He makes my heart go faster, He makes me weak in the knees, and he makes me feeling things that I never have before. He just looks that me with his big chocolate eyes and I felt like I am ice cream that been in the sun too long and you know what he cast his spell with his big chocolate eyes of his with just one look I am hooked.
Pulling apart of air I tell him “I love you more that words can say much more than I can ever show you” and he smiles at me and once again I lose so the loss in love with him. I pull him up to his feet and he turns off the fireplace and I know then that he need to hear the words tonight so then and there I swore to myself that I tell him every day in every possible way for rest of my life.
We made make our way upstairs and at the door to the girl’s room we stop a part of me don’t want let him go even throe I know I have to. He kissed me and said “sweet dreams Lynn” and I was still holding on to his hand. He smiled at me and I could help it I was smiling like a fool and I didn’t care.
“Sweet dreams,” I told him and gave me kiss in return. I watch him walk over to the boy’s room door and he turn back and I blow him a kiss before going into the bedroom where two girls were fast asleep.