Darcy Quinn would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Quintessentially Needless

By Darcy Quinn All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Poetry

Blurb

A spin on the mechanics of social disfunction, statistical illusion and dentists who want your blood on Halloween. A twitchy patient disenfranchised from the whole teeth cleaning scene..

Living up to your name


Things that don’t live up to their name

Failing makes you humble, no one can rise until they have tasted what is under the crust of humble pie or until they have slept in a bed of its crumbs. Nothing's easier than rolling around in crumbs, but help is patchy these days. The CAB used to be well funded but since austerity measures they don't do face to face, they now hand out an information leaflet called how to rip yourself a new one. It's pretty comprehensive, there's a government grant you can apply for if you need a mirror and sign posting. The Salvation Army still helps anyone who can't follow the instructions and will provide soothing music in your down time. Down on my luck they took me in and helped me out, fed me, clothed me and got me into an emergency dentists. It’s my own fault, if only I had criticised my mothers care more, if I had listened to Tony Blair I wouldn't have eaten the jam sandwiches she put in my lunch box.

The sign above the door offered something of an oasis, a peaceful island of calm in the midst of the chaos of pain. That’s the promise. It’s a dilemma, you can't call a dental practice dental ache or caps for carries. Dazzling Dentures, would we go there? It's an awkward pitch, after all they are going to cause you pain, so they choose branding names carefully, one's that have karma, but how do you apply the trade descriptions act to it, we're very nice people who are going to hurt you, we would like feedback on how satisfactory it was. That's why it's under health not commerce, in health they can hurt you as much as they like for your own good.

The black Halloween bats strung around the reception desk calmed me, no conflicts there, made sense they do use that little suction tool to get any spare blood down into a bottle hid under the rinse stand, which goes who knows where. Maybe it goes down the drain or maybe it’s someone’s guilty pleasure.

There’s never much to read at this wellspring, in the waiting area what's to read, smile weekly, excuse me CO, who'd sit there grinning, anyway I can't crack one off more than once a month. A screen runs a show of nasty nashers. A notice to non attenders. Co again, like they’re not there to read it. Anyway, attenders know this, 247 non attenders caused the loss of 500 working man hours. Run it past me, I attended, so MY bill got hiked to pay for those who didn't, and then you told me. No wonder they don't even think about not coming back. Being a demographic sucks, I get sexism and ageism, but being just a statistic was just a different sort of torture.

As a demographic no one ever needs consider whether it's ethical for advertisers to continue to squeeze 70 to 80 year olds, if they're young enough to work they're young enough to part with their life savings, it's ok as long as you add a hearing loop and sign language. As a statistic baby boomers are lumped in with everyone else whether they can remember who they are or not.

I thought about it and got the receptionists attention. "Excuse me, do you mean when you have no patients left you'll have to read your notices yourself?". "No" she replied "that's for you to read". "Yes but the last people who read it didn't come back did they?" She shrugged in that way receptionists do. The sales cabinet was more informative, interdental brushes and mouth rinse, with orgasmaglucomate, for heavens sake it’s my birthday, I'll rinse my teeth, now. When you see a bottle of that and it says don’t swallow, you want to.

We’re Not In A Relationship. Me and my dentist aren't in one, were just not, but professionals have this way of describing it as one. He gets money, I get pain, what sort of relationship is that?

patient

I'm sorry, really sorry, it's my fault and your'e right, I couldn't walk here, couldn't talk, my full body cast was too tight, was on the floor, knocked deaths door, they bought me back to life, need I say more, lets do it, put on your glove.

Dentist, open up,

I must tell you, simply tell you that your mouth is a sight, your gums are minging, teeth just clinging, open up and now bite. I’m not a wizard, you sad bug blizzard, you’ve got the mouth hygiene of a monitor lizard, sit back it's a labor of love.

Rinse with the mouthwash please and suction. It’s not good news, full clearance I’m afraid.

Patient,

I’m just saying that I’m praying I’ll go home with some teeth tonight, Get to it, work through it, but just clean off the turkish delight. Listen squadie, don’t be snotty, your’e gonna take ’em out over my dead body, and we'll fall, fall out of love.

Dentist,

A full clearance, you’ve no insurance, then I wont venture on a denture today. Your legs are shaking your knees are quaking, how could I treat you this way. Lets forget it, I now regret it, I’ll clean them up and you forget I ever said it, lets do it, lets do it your way, it's that wonderful, impossible, splendorous, momentous moment when I suck your blood, then I'll unglove.

And spit.




A & E. Department. Come on wake up, stay with us, what did you swallow. "Sister, whats the stats", "elderly confused female, semi concious, says she had the best night of her life". "stomach pump her, it's another mouth rinse case".


Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

fellipxx: I loved this novel, it was very sweet and big on the emotions I really enjoyed it and could not stop reading not even for a second, I even cried a little bit at a few touching moments too. And overall I found this book sweet, realistic and cheesy (I like the cheesy stuff).

Christopher Calvo: Truly a wonderful read and very well written! Love the characters and character development, and can smell the frybread as I read it! Can't wait for more as we delve into the Buffalo Summer.

littlebite22: This made me think. About the world around me, about what I think of others. We rarely get to see or hear what others think, and this is such a great example of not judging a book by its cover. Also very well written.

fabihafatimaagha: OH MY GOD! I'M CRYING. 😭😭 This story was really good

William Elliott Kern: Whew. one telling his story, in the Bar, to his friend, who questions some circumstances that need clarity, The Confusion comes from a man, carrying his dead friend Chappies, while conversing with himself, and Chappies, and his alter ego......a broken mind, not yet forgotten..........The Author ...

Hayley: Beautiful story that has been well written. Something I will definitely read again. I loved how you could feel the tension between them and I loved the ending because It left it open to our imagination. I look forward to seeing to reading further stories by the same author.

Laraine Smith: I was also a victim of verbal, physical, and sexual abuse by my father. One time, he threatened to beat me with a belt. This story enabled me to talk about it. Thank you. :)

More Recommendations

Wilbur Jasin: I liked the book. The story is great. The author really did some quite research to come up with something like this. The book needs some editing but otherwise, it's a great read. Can't wait for the second book.

Jessica McAlpine: I fell in love easily with this story. In the beginning it reminded me of Studio Ghibli films where fantasy is mixed with some science, almost like steampunk but not.I continued to enjoy the world culture of The Shattered Girl. I especially love the idea of dwarves being seafaring folk instead of...

ElusiveBadwolf: I'm so disappointed that i'm already at the end because i love this book so much! I hope the second will come fast and i enjoyed it very much! You are a very good writer and i hope it will help you to get what you want to be!

Xavier Fair: If ever you wondered what REAL people with REAL desires would do if given powers, the constant battles they would face, or the possible self loathing that comes with being different, this is the story for you. Well structured, relatable and best of all you come out caring for the characters. I wi...

Tina Hacker: Lindsey Martin=Bowen blends humor with satiric takes on modern life. Her characters are introduced seamlessly and tell the reader their stories--if we can read them between laughs! I hesitate to write exactly what she parodies but anyone reading her book will know in a minute. Just think large-...

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.