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J. Memoir By ASA, B.A. General Studies

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Just a few thoughts all is that left of it sorry if its a little short ASA.

Poetry / Drama
Antasia S
Age Rating:

Today's Day.

And that was a personal one where a person chose to let their past, or the past win over something that was new or modern but it was the same idea just in a new method or manner just like how NapHill quoted for sure. In the end a house was just a house until it wasn’t anymore. It was a symbol of a place that once was. A place once filled with laughter, a place with gatherings of friends and family neighbors alike.

But in times that were last passed well that was just because a house was once filled with such things had gone and gone where? But then it has gone once more and again into another place then back out again. So that leaves what?

A place that is empty devoid of any and all life forms. Which was once a thing that brought joy. And when upon farthing looking it wasn’t as one would appear that a look would come across as.

In a way that held a look of okay well why am I still here to do what with? To look at as years go by with not a single thing or person as they say makes me pretty again. But yet as a house which we know doesn’t speak yet their house does. And what does it say to you?

‘Make me pretty again’. Well if you keep going back past it would you enjoy to see it pretty again too, but if so. Then why is it still uglyyyyyyy to begin with. Yes, well glad you asked that they don’t want you to look pretty. They want you to look at it all ugllyyyyyy. Because their hearts are too.

Which is a sick thought to have for a while and yet and still here we are again with all of that drama, baggage and whatnot, we are not speaking of an airport though, we are not taking a flight. We are not going to a new state. We are not chasing anything.

We are not boarding any flights. We are not about to dip out to Miami. We are not doing all of that today. Less is more. What’s weird about that is that a trip to a place is a hassle. There is checking your luggage so you can’t get caught with a gun there. There is known bomb peole like terrorist on board as a manner of travel like on 911.

When they didn’t get to come home and go to see their families or loved ones. They were forced to have emergency personnel come to their aid. To allow them some relief in order to maintain. What were we to maintain at this point a war that people didn’t want out, for fear of retaliation.

Bidding to get things done that you were supposed to do and now that we get to have another person do them is how to go and to do those things but yet and still it goes to show you that well if we say so then it is so. Each and everytime. That is all that there is to it.

And to me that is how it goes. And that is nothing wrong with that to me. And that is just how it goes to me.

And that is all that there is to it. And that is where I must draw a line. Rather real or not was a memory because really in the end that didn’t matter to anyone, not even myself.

How in the world is that the people don’t get what is there to not understand though isn’t the end is the realest answer that anyone has ever heard before adn it what it is and that is all that matters. In the end the grand scheme of things looks very small when all of it is said and done. Too.

How in the world do we get another to do our good bidding and yet in the presidency we get another, I am a fan of giving before trying to get anything not even a vote from myself to any one person. And it’s just so simple to me, that to give is to get what you’ve given the nothing in a vote, then yes and everybody always loved their winners but what of those who lost too though, do they get swept up, underneath the ruggggg. Like a rugrat huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sick people do sick things with themselves most of all. Which is weird and not even justified. Which is even weirder. And it’s extremely retarding. Which is annoying in and of itself to be frank about it. So here we are.

Why in the world are we as people so hard headed mostly when in doubt if not all of the time, it’s constant drama, but still it is something that I am sick of with most people, I hate and wish, that most of them were DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, taking with them all of the dram in which they created. With them right to HELLLLLLLLL and BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN there niceeeeeee and Sllllllllllllllllllllllooowwww. Until all of what was done is no more.

Why are most people, as they are a friend of mine from a job long ago, who had a son who just thought that his mothers lady who worked with that company was just so pretty. And boy did I miss those times and to know that we’re so tight and only whtie girl there left and their black ones were all gone and still atilllllll acting a little bizarre in some senses and won’t seem to stop. They’re all having babies and have men who are LORD.

Who are with everybody but them, in a sense too. And it’s so silly in their end game to not separate from those that are not is not by mistake but calculated cold time, choice and decisions to do just that. When a person is with someone and then they leave but there are children, some have called these thoughts a form of a ‘lick’.

Which is to use people maliciously for a check, come up, money which to love money that much is root of all evil, children, thoughts, deeds, morals, lives. Most of them have been ruined. So when we turn 91 and wind up in a pool of our own blood, who does that, as well?

Well a dark heart is probably who for real and that is how our world is and it feels really weird. In their minds and ours as well. And that is how it goes though and there is nothing wrong with that.

So why are we doing this? Why are our judges sentencing people to unfair time in jail and punishments here? Why are we crying so much to fill a swamp of ‘tears’ then why are little kids dying in EC in a way from school rides.

To their homes. By police cars. Serve and protect high speed chases. And why are we missing opportunities to strike others, and not others.

When a voice is still not gone. Power of speech, though through use of words, to harm mostly is what I’ve found, and most of the time when I’ve heard them word wise they have felt very weird and each time in most cases then a dead bird will show its face and stay for a while like a little old friend.

Too good to watch a kids show too. Just because I am so big, growing up to do so felt foolish but again when I broke down and did so once again, I found that not smiling was difficult to do. And so I smiled and laughed as best that I could at that moment in time.

In a world filled with dark thoughts if I look at you I’d jump you so turning their other cheek is a power to forgive, because you understand that anything else will land in an equal or result thus causing ’death’___________________________. Just from a look of what was done too outrageous most of the time, the rule remains what is, was. Which was enemy terrority to battle to war, is to bring a coward to its knees.

Not to think of whim but act to do is a point that one aint in the mood. For anyone else’s thought process except for the one that God gave to myself. To begin with a child God, that is close to myself like sister nope because you ain’t so then why are you speaking to myself. Then well did you want to figure that out today, then because well you know if people keep talking then forcing a hand it ain’t nothing but a ‘thang’.

As to that thought’s original origin, dated back a ways when thinking of the last time one actually heard ‘your a sight for sore eyes’. Destroy their eyes yes girl lets get them dummies today thought you ready let’s mess up our heads with weird hair then go to their clubs and pay too. Then when we’re there let’s make sure to not speak, then mess up all of their clean places too though as a mannnner of being a ‘brat’ then claim to feel sorry about our so called ‘behavior’ aka choices.

Then get a brightttttttesttt organe ticket one had everrrr seennn. Kind of annoyingly bright about their doing’s. Then feel like a goofy person behind such things.

Anyway, like look at this what I did, thennnnnn for attention getting, insteaddd of being independent you need attention just like advised ’needy’. From a lack of receiving such from other sources. Andd those feelings are like getting love from their trusted source overall. And when that isn’t present from being off in those drug houses then they don’t get to have that, other times their fridge might really look, feel empty, what if they’re really hungry at that time too.

Does one learn this behavior and then pass that all down to them as well? And if so then how will that all play out? If you can’t say hi to your friends then you’ll set that same example to them eventually as well. Then that source begins to lose their hair, their beauty sources as well.

Then you lose those things which were to look dear. Since you don’t love them then the next question woulddd come out as then we’ll why did you have pretty locks? You don’t okay thennnn, well now they’re goneeee.

Miss when gone, is moral. Who did something to youuuuuu anyway to makkke you so mean. So then a person stops speaking to you.

There’s no poinnt to do that no more. Just keeping things how they are then we’ll still have a point to have that wasn’t said, so unsaid. Wasn’t by mistake eitherr.

So many of them when you find you can’t speak to them and don’t even really wannttt to is another point. Then we’re okay but still when it goes to a point where all that a person can do is just live and let live. Then it’s like leadway is getting made, is making a mark, or is done with a sense of purpose. Even to right wrongs. To help those who can’t help themselves.

Why hold a conversation when if one speaks to you you don’t understand, what’s being saidddd to begin with. That takes work to cope, to keep things clean from choosing to not destroy things too. Lazy people are the worst who is a person who will go to jail for murder.

Even worst who evenf wants to see a murderer anyway and they’re known for looking and feeling a little off due to such a way of living anyway which was a point again as to not really feeling that well. And yet you still show up and come over and still kick it,and then you have people who think that that is fun. And it isn’t in overall reality and scheme of tings it really just soundsss dumb to realist.

How you want to not stop talking and keep on and then even take your hands and have them come up on a formmmm as well. Too like really I ain’t in the mood for that today. So you can say whatever. Okayyy.

With that lack of respect popping off then feelings will tell you a tale, ‘look but don’t touch’ okay, break something then you buy what you broke. If such a price is too high to pay, then you stuck feeling dumb about that behavoir too. Such quotes come from nine aka (two of them) now where?

I am not sure but still when something is as simple as that isn’t adhered to, in a mannerr too loosely, then I am afraid that then when and if so then there IS a lack of respect there quite frankly that was earned. Then you get one chance to disrespect then after that I will not be held responsible for any actions therein. And from that point forward it is what it is going to end as, each and every single last time.

Which came from a young soul in search of a place and finding that this person was right. To begin with just like a big sister is, or at least would be too though. Which again is sweet. Still too though anybody ahead of you, you can always ask for help. As long as you really need what you’re asking for, from them. And even a little deadly but as one should feel anyway to though.

In the end of those cold days all will finally have a day to clear the air. Of any and all things. Sooner or later what comes around, goes around. To the originator to begin with and that is all but a law that can not err. And that will never ever have a chance to ever get around.

Even when and if youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu choose and would try, as hard as you wanteddddd, could dooooo, you wouldn’t ever find that youuu can, coullddd anyway. Just ended up lookinggg silly, feeling silly. And being known as sillllyyyyy.

And still I rise and keep on. Every time. Dummy, and you just keep on killing. I just want to agree with all of you and I don’t, won’t, don’t need to, refuse to do, especially just because you were, are, a lame, mean, don’t care about feelings won’t do what’s right, if we’re so innate more than animals and plants to know right from wrong, then why do such a kingdom constantly wants to chose ‘wrong’ so often?

Behavior people who should ‘ggoo’ don’t do what you asked for, don’t choose to go. Won’t speak to anyone but two people. All their lives.

And in the end that behaviour becomes very weak, and even in a sense dumb. And even in, looks another way to turn pretty into a thing that is no longer able to actually see things for their true value. Anymore.

What is this about keeping friends close, and keeping enemies closer as a quote that noww makes 3 (three). How did you catch Covid did you have the max in a place of 10-15 people? Did you keep your face mask in place?

Did you have a social distance? Did your family come by and hug you, with COVID-19 well you’re supposed to self isolate, for 10 days quarantine cut now to 5 without neg test and go back to regular conduct of living. So did you just not obey.

Any of those CDC guidelines, too. But why not, listen to them. Why did I not just listen will come to your inner thoughts.

Well maybe you should have too though and now you see why. You feel, why. You even understand why, now don’t you.

Well there you go because well that thought is just a little too late. Go back now. To redo anything.

There is no hot tub time machine like in the movies to go back and re do anything unless you want to come here again in reincarnation and forget all about you. Too. And then have self with you at your house to live, then practice another sense of ‘fammmily’ quartinning together huh as another quote or saying ’misery loves company’ because many men end up with someone who they often don’t like too.

Subtle death is you’ll work in any place then learn that well later on death was lurking that whole entire time, just waiting to gobble you up what the goon to the goblin. Then to lose is to say I freaking quit too, and freaky friday would make you do just that too. Each ride was a trip with money to get to one state capital to the next.

Every time took major money and at times when speed was a need for crack. Killing innocents on the road, bloods that pure are the main tastes of appetite. Who takes is as wrong as speeding for crack, which kills, and not give back ones jacket due to some issue, of another person where isssssssssssssss the better for me. To have then, back in one’s own original possession. Crying, one looking too mean to not have thoughts. But no one will touch on. Though so on and on. Galloping. To some unknown place. Which is just how life goes. Preying on those who pray.

And that isss not another true love of life is that but is in their sense a liar. In children their face is extremely honest. Their looks, thoughts. Are just the same. To the point. Short and sweet.

Frank. How is one smoking considered blunt to them? That doesn’t even sound smart. How in the world are music and podcasts about weed. But only able to do so when no one is coherent enough to actually say what’s on their mind to anybody’s audience members well that is just plain and simply silly, like a silly little bird that has costly habits to provide being high well to feel so high that when going speedily down another hall take a stubble to fall. Falling, never being afraid to fall, falling, is going to happen swimmingly, with other’s backing thee, with heart smiling warmly with thoughts of love emerging from thee with a lightly falling snow that dusts every street of America slowly.

But surely falling ever so slightly, with intent to make thee act accordingly. So that when all’s said and done you can not look at thee doubtingly. But with warmth, wisdom, as bright as the sun rays itself. Causing eyes to hurt even in darkness, that light shines burningly. Scorchingly as one sees thee, roughly, theology comes to mind roughly, right knowingly into the hauntingly dark eyes of thee. Standing humbly right before thee as they looked on stunningly.

Into silence too deep not to cut thee actually, wittingly. Driveways that are empty looking through windows into a kitchen that is loved. To keep cooking, paying to cook for yourself, which is a way to make food good.

Then sleep with good cooking. Or sleep with a cold. You choose and pick.

Investing into family. Their hopes and dreams too are a joint effort. And yes cooking is fun and joyful.

And stairs when you have to climb them self is one thing but plus for two is another. Then one may die quicker due to too much weight, as not being able to stand on two feet. If you didn’t too though because of an enemy posed as a friend, or self whom you’d pose to lean on for all of your own validation of self worth then yes reaper alert.

Having a pet bird was another favorite thing in the world, having that around calmed what was known for raging around mostly, in weirdly placed people, placed in weird thingggs. Which was good having a parakeet inside of these four walls was like having your big sister inside of a parakeet’s soul in order to bring peace, joy of being taken care of. When nobody else was around to help but that bird.

Coming in compared to all of the other birds in a pet store there was like they were little punks and didn’t really want to come due to fear. Which was sucky and didn’t help. And being glad that something prevented everybody but Birdie from coming and saying hello.

To know that it was okay for birdie to come here was just as pleasing in the long run as well. Birdie was stunningly like it’s owner. And something about it was sweet.

And as birdies grave was getting dug refusing to touch any dead soul vessel art in its purest form reminding of Liz. Nobody ever chose to express their love of that art form and that was just so damn annoyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. That was something that always felt ‘weird’. How you get mad at people for knowing your name. Having people know your name to begin with is ideal. To eat when one wants feels just as ideal.

As before. Because it was. And birdie would fly up high in the sky, little Minnie Mouse in this pacing plane. Birdie’s life was so beautiful, bringing so much joy in coming into any birds shortly____________________lived the lifespan of that one little Bird. And someone somehow wished abuse from a sparrow. As well.

And not as Christina too. Though at least twice nowwwwwwwww. When someone paid in full got a nephew killed from jealousy, own blood related kin.

Another moral like Scar, and Lion King by Shakespeare who though was gay somebody constantly using mouth to stay choosing to talk. Darkly about nothing basically. An uncle who hated brother, then killed his nephew when he was a kid Paid In Full, yes Lion King no by lying for year’s Scar actually got away with that but thinking back on that scene something there was askew.

Bird’s life was blessed. Everyday birdie never went without. Ever. Not even once did Bird, and if Bird ever thought something was wrong with Bird’s food in which Bird favored, Bird had rather died.

And Bird did. Somebody killed Bird. Maybe Bird killed Bird.

Maybe Bird didn’t want to look old any longer, no more. Bird left. Bird went to find Bird’s LORD. Bird went to meet GOD.

Bird was to God what sisters are to one another. Playmates, grandplaymate’s with and are fun at playing. And when Bird left Bird took away something with Bird that only Bird knows, some lesson, some watching.

Some thought of wanting to be closer to Birds, master’s matching Bird’s owners MOOD. Loyally not once did Bird ever harm, ever. Not once did Bird do asnaine actions ever.

To myself or anyone else, ever. And I’ll hate you forever if you do otherwise but think only one thing which was that Bird’s a saint. In and OUT.

Birdie was green, yellow, purple and probably blue. Birdie was such a good birdie that Birdie was in each and every mood. Birdie was good at knowing what to do. Birdie lived one birdie’s best lives. And birdie knew what to do. Birdie knew life was good.

Birdie knew what to do. Bridie understood. Birdie understood what life meant to live like deep down Birdie knew.

Birdie what to do, where to go, who to chirp at and why. Birdie knew that Birdie was favored above all. Birdie drew stars and questions from thousands of people alike.

Birdie was famous in Birdie’s own right. Birdie brought love and happiness to all who were in Birdie’s sight. Little Birdie still causes smiles till this very day.

When no one else could do that Birdie did. Birdie was a fave light of mine, I am going to let this little of mine shine. Birdie sang a song loud and clear for all to hear.

Knowing that Birdie was favored and you made fun of Bird to bring harm by word of mouth because you knew that Bird was loved. That causes your jealousy and that is why you said something about another bird named a Sparrow harming Birdie too. And that is why you cannnnnnnnnnnnn’t call others.

Knowing other’s knowledge was getting sharper, more and more uncanny. Made others begin to feel even, doubt in someone’s behavior. Then once that happens well all over with at that point a limitation has now been reached.

Lesson is that you aren’t causinggg too many feelings and thoughts of being a trustworthy person. Crack era or not, stealing is wrong. Which isn’t good.

Especially not as a full grown man. Especially from your family members. No matter their age.

So until you learn that you’ll never ‘really’ ever talk to them. And after all is said and done serves you right too. Now Christmas is here too and yet gifts are left wrapped unopened by ‘loved ones’ too.

That in and of itself felt a shake of earthquaking underneath the weight of these catastrophic failures. Like nobody else could do but GOD. So how does that day go when everything is shaking and no one seems to really know why.

It’s a dumpster truck. It’s moving really fast. It’s destroying GOD from really mean thoughts from another storm.

In Evergreen Farms: trash is everywhere. And you pay how much. Just a grand each pop.

NO NO NO. Tripping over other people’s belongings then taking trash because something was wrong, broken. Now I need the weight for working out so I’ll just take the trash back for a little while I am sure it’ll be up and running soon.

So I’ll just come back then, but thank you. Walking away and I am Antasia. Hello, nice to meet you and welcome. It’s really nice here. And having health was key then use your car to jump start something that probably didn’t exist so turning them down cold, from pure exhaustion, I left. Not once did anybody offer to help in any way just take, take, take. When Birdie left their world left too deep down they knew that softly closing their storm door to hide a tear.

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