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Life

By manow2018 All Rights Reserved ©

Poetry

Chapter 1

I am here to stay.

Listen, listen, have you heard.
A Somali is in town, he is here to conquer.
Maths is his friend, life is his lover.
He smiles with penny, humble with a billion.
You want a Job, he wants life.
You want money, he wants legacy.
He walks to the mosque, runs to the school.
He wants to own life, not just live it.
His wife is clever, mother’s brave, sister’s funny.
He is here to stay, he is here to stay.
Listen, listen have you heard.
A Somali is in town.

That’s me, the Somalian.
I had a gun for breakfast, division for lunch, tribe for supper.
I ran, I jumped, hopped on a plane, chasing life.
Life came in plenty, In Europe, In America, In Australia there was life.
Money was powerful; food was tasty, oxygen was sweet.
I found life.
You said do that, mother said do this, teacher said do this.
I was not confused, I was elated.
Opportunity every corner, success in every mirror, life in every book.
I found the dream, I found the life, I found the success.
That’s me, the Somalian.

What the fuck do we do?

f your Muslim you get killed
If your Mexican you get the wall
If your black you get the bullet
So what the fuck do we do?
My name is tripped by terrorism
My skin is slapped by the ban
My religion is chased by death
My color hunted by the bullet
My reflection is blocked
Thanks to the fucking wall

Brainless.

The air is cold, the wind
Howls, the time screams, the
Earth breathes, a life is leaving
A soul is losing, a mind is fleeing,
Something is happening, death
Is beating insanity, or God is
Defeating satan, but I can’t feel it,
I can’t feel it.

My heart pumps,
My blood boils, my soul
My soul, do I
Have a soul? Do
I have soul? God.

The minutes are turning,
Morning is leaving, night
Is late, or is it me,
Unable to feel human,
Spitting out oxygen, cursing
My pillow, why doesn’t it
Scream? Why? I sleep on
It every night, every day,
Or has it forgotten what pain is?

There is mum
Rushing in, with a smile
For a face, love
On her eyes, care on her lips,
And motherhood on her swagger,
‘Your late for school,’ she reminds
Me, opening the dry wailing
Curtains, they can see my
Pain, fighting to keep
My brain, but for her,
Love is the answer
And care is the medicine.
But my brain is packing, my soul
Is angry.
Cells are evacuating,
Blood is rushing, because typhoon
Of insanity is coming.

I want to tell her, I want to
Explain, I want to sing it,
I want to recite it, but I can’t
I can’t tell a mother, your
Son is not your son, your son
Is flesh, and bones but brainless, your
Son is there, but he is possessed
By forces of unseen.

I want to apologise for being
A dead walking human, I want to apologise
For seeing the world as an angry
Bird, I want to apologise for
Running from them, shadows
Of the unknown, voices dancing
Teasing and taunting up there, but how?
I am brainless,
I have a brain, but it’s not mine,
I have a brain, but I pay rent,
I have a brain, but
It never obeys the master.

What do you do
When your in the cracks of the earth?
Do you pray? Do you cry? Or fight
To be human for another day.

Smiling like an angel
She leaves, closing the door
She is proud, her son
The pride of her name, apple of her
Is finishing school, about to conquer earth
But little does she know?
I am there, but not
There, the
Sympathetic cosy duvet
Hugs me, saying
It’s the will of the lord

The will of the lord,
What lord? One that left
You, dangling from
Branches of insanity
They mock,
Boiling my blood,
As anger tears
My veins apart, ready
For vengeance.
They have my brain
But mock my religion
How dare they?

‘You have ten minutes,’
She calls out,
My mother, but
Moving, getting
Out of bed, only
The lord can help me.
Ding, time calls me,
Bed is restless, duvet
Is relentless, they all want me out,
Throw out the ghost, they chant,
But how do I move?
Am living but am brainless.

Why Aleppo?

BOOM! Death has arrived.
The gun spoke, the walls have collapsed.
Mother wails, sister cries.
Bones smash, neck breaks, father smiles.
He sees God, he sees heaven.

But why? Why? we’re innocent.
Brother crawls, dust blinds him.
he can’t move, boulder tore his soul.
His leg is trapped, his mind is dead.
Life leaves him, death teases him.
He was a student, he was a son, he was a brother
boulder doesn’t care, his screams can’t be heard.
But why? Why? we’re innocent.

Oh Aleppo, Oh Aleppo.
Save us, and save yourself.
Rescue us, and rescue yourself.
History laughs, statistics welcome us.
Death is so warm, Oh Aleppo, If I die,
You stay alive. You honour us,
In the future and remember us,
with smile and honour.
We were victims of time,victims of war,
victims of death, and victims of anarchy.
Remember us, and ask, why did they corrupted our homeland.

Insanity.

Mother wanted daughters, father well
The future never wanted him.
Life is ruthless, love is expensive.
The morning is angry, the night is cunning.
Life is pushing, pushing me hard against the wall.
I am losing my breath, my grip is loosening.
What I know is gone. What I don’t know exists.
Well then study they say. I studied –
Mastering money, befriending risk, defeating
Ignorance, but why is
Life still pushing me.

It left the city, it left the streets
Entered my home, turning it from
Home to a house,
from a house to the wild.

The rules are simple
Fight for what you want.
I am a lion by day, battling the crazy hyena,
Punching the voices in my head,
Tricking the running shadow after me,
While my mother is my mother,
Afraid of reality because it’s her son
Losing the grip on life, while life
Continues, leaving the lazy behind,
The crazy in between,

My reflection is my worst nightmare
My shadow is my worst enemy
My voice is my worst worker
My brain is my only friend
Only friend
Only friend
Fleeing from the destruction of insanity,
Scared of the doctor,
Paranoid of the advisor.
Am I dying or is insanity winning.

Punch that wall.

The morning is new, the day is fresh
My heart is cold, my body is shivering
My blood is boiling, and I want to do
One thing. Punch that wall.
Punch that wall to forget yesterday
Punch that wall to clean the sadness
Punch that wall to beat pain
Punch that wall to meet
The human who smiles
The human who never worries,

But a dream is for the normal
Reality is for the poor
Cracking my fists,
Smashing the brick,
Tearing the paint off,
But a wall never listens,
A wall only stands
Wanting to help
But never has the soul to help
Wanting to blow the sadness away
But never has the arms to act,

But listening is for those
Who know tomorrow,
Live today,
Never worrying about next week,
I continue punching,

I punch to find normal
I punch to take a joke
I punch to smile
I punch to fix
The broken brain
The possessed emotions,

But a thousand punches
Will never break him
That ugly truth
Waiting for me
Questioning tomorrow
Painting HE IS CRAZY on the universe.
Showing me smile is expensive
Laughter is priceless
And normal is never on the menu.

Whispers of the heart.

Is a sin to tell you I love you.
Is a crime to say I want you,
Is wrong to whisper I need you,
But Is hard not to.
Want the angel in you,
Love the sweetness on you
Whisper to the animal in you,
Commit the sin to get the heaven in you.

Word’s aren’t enough.

Do you love me she asked?
I kissed her.
Do you want me she asked?
I hugged her.
Am I enough she asked?
I picked her up, looking into her eyes.

I spelt, I love you with my eyes
Spelt You’re my queen with my lips
Wrote am yours in the air

As she landed in my arms
I brought the moon for her
Moved the mountains for her
Painting on the universe

I love you
But words aren’t enough
I want you
But actions aren’t enough,
Because there is love
And then there is you.

They told me, they never told me, I am telling you.

They told me to live

But live how,.

They told me to learn

But learn how.

They told me to grab life

But grab what.

They told me to learn to be successful

But the books are bleak,

And how do I learn

They told me, they told

But never showed me how.

They never told me life was cruel

The rain was a punishment

The time was killer

The hour was disease

They never told me mum was so cold

She chose

She chose her kids

Asking God

Why he gave her the rest,

They never told me

The mirror would disagree

My color would be my enemy

My religion would be my rival

They never told me

That you can’t reason

You can reason with animals

But you can never reason

With a human who can see

But has no sight

A human who can hear

But doesn’t listen

They never told me

The secrets of life

Being burnt by your dreams

Education becoming your illness

To stop you from your goal

They never told me

Your enemies would be your friends

Your friends would be your nightmare

While your nightmare is your teacher

Teaching you what

But never how

Because how is a secret

And he doesn’t want you achieving

Because he lost in life

Lost in his future

While betrayed by his present

And ridiculed by his past

They never told me

The code to life

The code to success

The code to living

Not just being alive

Because who knows the code

We all guess everyday

Some clever than the rest

Some keener than the rest

Some more curious than the rest

They never told me

They never told me anything

But lies

Because they were born In lies

Lived a lie

And died lying

Because they never found the truth

And no one ever told them.

So I am telling you today

Your life is your instrument

So learn it to win

Learn it to succeed

Because your life maybe a guitar

And his life maybe a piano

So why listen to him

Why let him teach you

How to play a guitar

And kick you out of the class of success

When he failed to play his instrument

And threw his life in the bin.

So I am telling you life is yours

School is a tool

So use it but don’t learn it

Use it to succeed

Not to live life

Let it be a stepping stone

Not a stone to live your life by

I am telling you today

Use advice as a tool

Not as a rule

Because the advice

Has layers

Layers that hate you

And small thin layer

That will help you

So use it

And find that layer

Because that is yours

And will help you succeed.

I am telling you today

You are you

Your life is yours

Life is for you

Ready to listen

So speak

And write

And dance

Your will on life

Because life is yours

Till you lose it

Till the tyres come off

Till the grip loosens

And then you float

And pray to gravity

To let you stay on earth

Because the land despises you

And the elements are disgusted by you.

I am telling you your book is clean

Your story is starting

Your future is waiting for you

To write it

In your present

Because you can’t live in a house

Without a foundation.

So write that future

With your choices of today

And actions of tomorrow

And say no to that door

That’s blocking you from your life

That’s blocking you from you true self

Because time is ticking

And life keeps going,

So decide to be the one that is told the lies

Or the one that sees the truth

And paves the way

For the rest.

That’s what am telling you today

Because I wasn’t told.

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