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chapter ten

Connor led me to the couch against one of the walls in a corner, earning a confused glance from myself.

“What are we doing? The party’s over there.”

He smiled, turning to face me and placing his arm on the back of the couch. “We are finishing that paper. Get out your phone, start writing.”

I smiled, placing my head against his shoulder. “I’ve been drinking, I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Connor chuckled, “You drank half of my beer, you’re sober enough to write some of this paper.” I shrugged, about to come up with another excuse of why I can’t write the paper, but Elijah ran up to us.

“Elizabeth, be my partner for beer pong.”

I cringed. I hated that game, and I could tell Connor knew by seeing the look on my face.

“We’re actually writing our English papers right now.”

Elijah smirked at us, “Sure, buddy. Come on Elizabeth, he has a girlfriend. Play with us.”

I was about to say no, but then Elijah’s lips ended up on mine. It caught me by surprise, as well as Connor. The kiss wasn’t even passionate. It was as though Elijah slipped and his face just so happened to crash land onto mine.

Connor reacted faster than I could, pushing Elijah off of me. Even though it wasn’t a harsh push, I turned my attention to Connor.

“Dude, back off. You’re with another girl, it’s cool if I kiss her.”

Elijah grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, not caring what I had to say about the situation. I looked to Connor, a bit panicked, shrugging as a sign that I was clueless about what to do. Connor held up one finger, disappearing into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes, protesting to Elijah about how much I didn’t want to play. I pretended to drink the beer Elijah handed me, waiting for a moment to slip away.

Connor walked behind the beer pong game, clearing his throat and heading up the stairs. I turned to see the other guys way too into the game, giving me the perfect opportunity. I quickly ran up the stairs, whispering out Connor’s name. I walked down the hallway until my arm was grabbed and I was yanked into a room. The door was shut, and I turned to see Connor smiling at me with a beer in his hand.

“Welcome, to the guest bedroom.”

I laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Thank you, I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to stick around down there.”

He nodded his head, “Yeah, Elijah is kind of a dick when he drinks. It happens more than you would think.”

Connor joined me on the bed, and soon enough, we were both laying down. We weren’t touching each other, just laying side by side. He was sharing his beer with me again, I don’t know why. He probably just didn’t want either of us to get too out of hand. We were sitting in complete silence, just staring at the ceiling above us. I whispered, a sudden question popping into my mind.

“Where do you want to travel to first?”

Connor turned his head to glance at me, “I was thinking New York City, just as a starter. Then maybe get out of the country.”

I smiled, letting my eyes shut. “Have you ever considered actually having a real relationship with someone before? Or has this commitment issue thing always been around?”

Connor sighed, “I hate talking about this with other people.”

I quickly looked over at Connor, his eyes were closed and he had one arm behind his head while the other rested on his stomach. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It was just a stupid question.”

Connor chuckled, “It wasn’t a stupid question, and it’ll be okay if I tell you. We’re friends, you should know.” He took a deep breath, “It started when my dad died. I wasn’t always this way, and at times, I really hate myself for being like I am. When he died, I got scared that those who I really loved wouldn’t always be here for me. They’ll end up leaving me when I need them most, and I just couldn’t take that thought. So, I pushed it to the back of my mind, sleeping with girls left and right, but not trying for a long term relationship. I didn’t believe that any of the girls would want to stay with me. Why would they when I don’t even want to stay with me?”

I sat myself up, “Hey, don’t say that. Don’t ever think of yourself like that, Connor.” I placed one of my hands on his forearm, “Any girl would be lucky to end up with you. Sure, I said you were the worst boyfriend a girl could ever have, but you’re right. It’s your first one, you’ll learn.”

He laughed, placing his hand over mine. “You’re cute.”

Connor turned himself over so that he was lying on his stomach, resting his head on his arms.

“I might be cute, but you know I’m right.”

“Elizabeth, are you going to spend the night? You drank some beer, but I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

I shrugged, leaning my back against Connor. “Would Elijah mind if I did?”

Connor shook his head, “Nah, lots of the people sleep over since they don’t want to drive home after drinking.”

I started to play with the back of Connor’s hair. “I guess, if it’s not that big of a deal. I’m sleeping in this bed though.”

He let out a small laugh, “Fine, but I’m sleeping here too.”

There was a tightening in my stomach, but I knew it was just a nerve thing.

“Do you want me to get you a pair of shorts or something? I’m going to grab myself some sweatpants.”

I nodded, slightly getting off of Connor. He left for about 5 minutes before returning in a pair of sweats and tossing me some shorts.

“I’ll turn around, go on and change.” I sighed, closing my eyes, then quickly changing.

“Alright, I’m good.”

We both hopped back into the bed where we were previously sitting. Connor slid off his shirt, handing it to me. “Just in case you don’t want to sleep in that button up.”

I thanked him quietly, waiting until he lied back down on his stomach. Once I was comfortable, I leaned against his back once more.

“Serious question. Are you going to stay in this relationship with Ellie for two whole months? You don’t have to if you’re just trying to prove it to me.”

Connor sighed. “I don’t know Elizabeth. A part of me wants to stay in the relationship to prove it to you, but then another part of me wants to stay so that I can prove it to myself.” I smiled, absentmindedly taking my hand and gently resting it on his shoulder.

“Why do you ask?” I thought for a moment, not really knowing why I asked him.

“I just don’t want you doing something that you don’t have to do, because of me.”

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