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chapter thirty-two

The girls’ soccer game had finished up with the home team winning by two goals, and I was already sprinting for my car, ready to finish the night strong. Connor and the others were following behind as quickly as possible, considering Connor’s condition.

I had opened the trunk and was changing my clothes in the parking lot. Connor had reached me just as I was about to pull off my shirt.

“Babe, calm down. You don’t need to change in front of everyone.”

I shrugged, now standing only in my sports bra and sweats. I pulled a plain white tee over and messed with my hair lightly. “Whatever, let’s get going.”

I drove with Elijah pointing out the directions to Luke’s house. We parked along the side of the road behind other cars. Ellie was quick to get inside and Elijah followed, feeling obligated to watch her. Connor stayed behind with me. He called out my name before I could run off, so I walked over to his side of the car.

I stood in between the car and Connor, which allowed Connor to lean in subtly, pushing me back against the door. He left a lingering kiss on my lips, “Please be careful tonight, Liz. Don’t go crazy with the drinking. I promise, I’ll bring you out this weekend and you can do whatever you please.”

I smiled, pulling Connor in by his jacket, giving him another kiss. “I’ll do my best to behave.”

Connor held out one hand, motioning to the keys. I dropped them in his hand, understanding that he didn’t want me driving. With both of us at an agreement, we headed inside of the house.

Connor was stopping here and there to say his greetings to people, but I was on a mission. I headed straight for the drinks, running into Luke in the kitchen.

He smiled when he saw me, minorly shocked at what he was seeing. “Elizabeth? Surprise seeing you here, on a school night even. So, how was Connor, now that you finally got a taste of what half the school’s already had?”

I rolled my eyes, grabbing one of the glasses and watching as someone filled it. “Fuck off, Luke.”

At that moment, Connor had entered the kitchen as well, going to stand beside me. I turned, smiling up at Connor and gulping down my drink. Connor quickly grabbed it out of my hand, bringing it up to his nose to smell it. He cringed the slightest.

“Really, we’re already on liquor?”

Luke shrugged from the other side of the kitchen, “Just helping everyone feel better.”


The night was still going and the kids were having fun. I was downing drinks left and right as if I had done this every night, but let it be clear that I rarely ever drank. When things started to get wild, Connor started helping me up the steps and led me into the first empty room he could find.

When in the room, Connor closed the door behind them and I ran by him to jump on the bed. I was acting more childish than usual and was at the point where my words were becoming slurred. Connor made sure that I had no more access to alcohol, knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep up with me much longer.

“Why don’t you just lay down, Elizabeth? Get some rest.”

I jumped down onto my butt, laying on my side and tapping the spot next to me. “Only if you join me, babe.”

Connor shrugged, not seeing any problem with getting me to sleep soon. He rested his crutch against the wall and hopped into the bed. Leaving his clothes on, he laid on the spot next to me, waiting for me to cuddle up next to him.

I had a different idea, now straddling Connor and playing with his shirt. Then, without a second to spare, I started taking off my own shirt. Connor looked up, shocked at what was occurring. “Elizabeth, stop, put your shirt back on.”

“I took mine off, now take yours off.”

Connor rested his head back, feeling me subtly grinding against him. He closed his eyes for a second, keeping his mind as clear as possible. “Elizabeth, no, you’re drunk.”

I let out a quiet giggle, leaning down and kissing Connor’s neck. I brought my kisses all the way up his jaw, nibbling lightly on his ear. I stopped momentarily to whisper to him, “I’m ready, let’s have sex tonight.”

Connor was feeling flustered, desperately wanting to sleep with me, but he knew better. He really didn’t want to be that much of a fuckboy anymore, especially when it was myself that was involved.

He didn’t say anything but instead tried to process everything. My drunken mind took that silence as a ‘yes’, reaching down to unbuckle the belt around Connor’s waist. Connor reached his hand down, grabbing hold of my wrists. He sat up, pushing me back away from his neck.

“Elizabeth, Liz, babe. Stop, please.”

I sat back, slouching my shoulders looking offended. “Why, what’s wrong? I said I’m ready, let’s just do it already.”

Connor looked almost hurt, “Why are you in such a rush all of a sudden? Do you actually want to sleep with me, or is this just for the stupid rumor to be over with?”

I shook my head quickly, bringing my hands to Connor’s shoulders. “No, not at all baby, I just feel ready right now.”

“Elizabeth, you’re drunk. I’m not sleeping with you tonight. If you really are ready, you’ll still be ready tomorrow or the next day.”

I suddenly got really serious, “But I won’t be.”

Connor was becoming confused and honestly wasn’t in the mood to deal with me anymore. “What are you trying to say, Liz?” I shrugged, not exactly knowing myself.

“Are you saying you need alcohol to even be able to sleep with me?”

“No, I just-”

“That’s what you’re making it sound like.”

Connor lightly pushed me off of his lap, feeling like he needed a drink as well. I crawled behind him, trying to fix my mistake. “Baby, no, that’s not it.”

“Am I really that horrible of a person, that you need to be hammered to even consider having sex with me?”

I tried to explain that it wasn’t that, but Connor wasn’t finished asking questions.

“What’s really the issue, Elizabeth?”

I sat there, my legs crossed and hands resting in my lap, showing my vulnerability. “I’m scared.” Connor sighed, rubbing his face briefly with his hands. He looked through his fingers at myself now looking down at my hands.

“Can we just leave and go to my house now? We can talk more about this later tomorrow or something.” I said nothing but nodded my head. I followed behind Connor down the steps and stood by the door as he went to grab Elijah and Ellie.

Ellie decided she wanted to stay and have fun, but she was sure she could get a ride later anyway. Elijah wanted to get out of there though, so the three of us headed out. In the car, Connor and I were silent which Elijah quickly took note of. It made for an awkward ride home for Elijah, but he dealt with it.

After dropping Elijah off, Connor drove to his house, parking my car on the street. We both headed to his bedroom and got ready for bed. I was first to get into bed, and while Connor was putting on sweats, he heard my quiet voice.

“I’m sorry, Connor.”

Connor wasn’t going to react much but he realized that I was actually beginning to tear up. He wasn’t expecting me to actually get emotional, but considering I had actually come clean with how I was feeling, this was good for me. He crawled up next to me, pulling my body into his arms.

“It’s okay, everything will be better tomorrow. We’ll talk it all out. I still love you.” He started to lightly kiss my forehead when I let out a shaky, “I still love you, too.”

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