“I give up, Jess. You pick anything you want, anything you choose, I’m game.” I huffed out, yanking my hair in despair.
I was usually the one who people went to for fashion advice. I know, I was gay and good at fashion, so cliché, right? But I happened to have a good taste in clothes, what could I do? I was born that way, fashion adequate.
But now, for the life of me, I couldn’t pick any outfit to go to Matt’s house. My wardrobe had exploded all over my room, my floor, my bed, there were even a few pieces hanging by the window sill. None of my clothes seemed good enough for my date. Hang out. Whatever. I was getting desperate.
It was already after noon, and I was running late. Matt had been waiting for me to arrive to his house since early in the morning. He had called a bunch of times, yelling at me to “get my pretty butt up here right now.” I had giggled a little then, because he had admitted out loud that I had a pretty butt. It only made him shout at me more.
He hung up after that and hadn’t called ever since, which was worrying me. But my brain had stopped working today, hence my current fashion inability predicament.
Jesse had been here since seven in the morning, helping me pick which clothes to wear. I didn’t want to be overdressed, since this wasn’t a real date. Matt might suspect something was on, if I showed up dressed for a date. But I didn’t want to go dressed too casual or too sloppy. I wanted to look good for him.
Why did I want to look good, you may ask?
Because I was a delusional pathetic loser, and had a crush on him. Don’t blame me for wanting to look good in the flitting chance the guy would actually notice me! I could maybe make him fall madly in love with me if I happen to choose the right outfit, okay? What? It could happen!
Oh God, I really was a big drama queen.
Jesse took out a black t-shirt and some dark blue jeans that she had found in the dark recess of my wardrobe.“Put this on. You will look fab in those.”She shoved the clothes in my hands.
I frowned at the outfit she had picked.”You want me to wear this, really?” I asked incredulously. “I mean... isn’t it a bit, I don’t know, hm, lame?” I had to flinch away when she threw a boot at me. “I’m not saying you are lame, just that your choice in outfit is a bit lame!” I tried to correct myself.
“It’s yourdamn clothes, Taylor! You bought them!” she shouted and began tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.
Oh no. The tapping foot was not a good thing. I gulped dry, grabbed the clothes and gave another look over at them.
“Um, I guess it’s fine. This looks... kind of good, I suppose.” I lied.
“Just put them on, Taylor.” She ordered, annoyed. “You can’t afford to miss on this date. This is it, Tay! The perfect time to get in Matt’s pants. He’s all vulnerable now, like an adorably sexy baby bunny. He’ll need a shoulder to cry on, someone to snuggle onto. You show up, and dazzle him with your boyish looks, make him realize he’s gay and in love with you all along, and then you can have your wicked way with him. It’s a freaking gay fairy tale, I’m telling you! So hurry up, boy! Chop, chop!”
I nodded, feeling a bit braver after her pep talk. “All right, let’s do this! I can’t miss my gay fairy tale ‘happy ending’!” I said and then stopped and wiggled my eyebrows at her. “Get it? Happy ending?”
She rolled her eyes, but her lips tugged up at the corner, betraying her. “Yeah, yeah, he’s going to ‘happy end’ your brains out, lover boy. Matty has a reputation to be outstanding in bed, so you better buckle up, but you need to stop stalling and start getting ready, sweet cheeks, or you’ll miss on all that hard gay loving he has to offer.”
“Fine, but you stay put, you hear? Last time I stripped in front of you, you were a bit too handy, missy.” I told her, pulling my shirt off hesitantly.
“Look who’s talking, Mister King of eye-rape.” She scoffed indignantly.
“Hey, I only look. Perhaps a little too voraciously, but it’s only looking. I recall you did more than ogle, young lady.”
“Please, I hardly touched you. It was just a fleeting light squeeze on the butt. I couldn’t resist. Blame it on your hot booty.”
“I know. It’s a gift and a curse, this hot booty of mine.” I stated solemnly.
We both stared at each other for a minute before simultaneously balling up in a fit of laughter. Jesse was laughing so much she was tearing up.
“Oh, boy, that was a good one, the curse of le bootey.” She giggled some more before sprawling all over my bed. “Get dressed, hot ass! Your date is waiting for you!”
I snapped to attention and got dressed as fast as I could, but when I was inspecting myself in the mirror, my phone rang again. “Please tell me you’re rounding the corner of my house now,” Matt’s irritated voice buzzed at the other side of the line.
“I’m ready, just need to take care of my hair and I’m heading your way!” I told him, already fixing my hair while Jesse assisted me.
“Oh God, no. Not the hair. You literally take freaking forever to get your hair done!” he complained fervently. “You know what? I can see that you’re not that into this hangout, Taylor. Maybe we can do this some other time. It’s not like I’m feeling bad or anything. Go do your things, I think I’m going to go out and see a movie or something. I’m sick of sitting here waiting for you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Wait! No! NO!”I shouted in horrified panic. “Matt! Matt? Are you still there?”
There was a significant pause and then he said, “Yeah. I’m here.”
“Just give me ten minutes! In ten minutes I’ll be knocking on your door. I swear to God!”
There was another poignant silence on the line before Matt spoke again. “All right man. You have ten minutes.” he stated.
“Yeah, okay! I’ll be there! Wait for me!”
“Fine, and Taylor?”
“I’m going out in ten minutes, if you’re not here.”
“Kay, bye!” I shouted, hanging up fast. I grabbed an astonished Jesse by the hand, tossed my backpack over my shoulder, ran down the stairs yelling to my parents that I was staying at Matt’s for the night, which they were used to, and jumped inside Jesse’s car. All of it took me less than a minute. I was the frigging Flash!
“Jesse, step on the gas! We have nine minutes to get to Matt’s house!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, like a maniac.
“What?! But it’s a fifteen minute drive there, and that’s running like mad!” Jesse yelled back, turning the car’s engine on.
“Then run like crazy, woman! Run! Run!” I yelled some more.
I forgot how Jesse usually take things way too literally. She did run like crazy – mental-hospital-crazy. I thought I was going to die in a car crash for sure there. I saw my life flash through my eyes multiple times during the whole journey.
But despite Jesse’s outstanding speed and reckless driving, we still got stuck in traffic jam a block away from Matt’s house. I glanced at my watch and saw that twelve minutes had passed. I grunted a ‘screw this’ and bolted out of the car, leaving a smiling Jesse behind, while I ran like frigging Forrest Gump and never stopped until I was at Matt’s doorstep, clutching at my sides and wheezing like a kid with an asthma attack. I pushed the doorbell multiple times and prayed for Matt to be still inside.
The door opened, showing a half surprised, half amused Matt standing there.
“Sorry... late...” I wheezed, gasping for air.
Matt looked at his watch and arched both eyebrows.
“Dude, how did you manage to get here in... twelve minutes, for God’s sake? It can’t be done, not even if you run like mad!”
“I... you... said... ten minutes!” I winced as a sharp pain stabbed behind my ribs. Boy, I think I was having a stroke or something... was it normal to taste copper in my mouth?
“I was joking! You know that, don’t you?” Mass asked and then he saw the scowl on my face and laughed. “You really thought I would only wait ten minutes?”
“You... ass... face...” I wheezed angrily.
“Why are you out of breath like that?” He asked curiously.
“You ran all the way here? In ten minutes?! That’s impossible!”
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes and walked pass him.
“No, stupid, Jesse… drove me here... and by the way... I’m never getting in the car... with her... again. That girl’s crazy!”
“Jesse drove you? Why were you running then?” he asked confused as he followed me inside the house.
After I caught my breath, I managed a reply. “Yeah, but we got stuck in traffic a block away from here, so I just left her there and ran the rest of the way. I was afraid I was too late and you had left, like you promised you would. Thanks for that, ass face.” I grunted, punching him in the arm.
He didn’t even move, it was like a squirrel trying to punch a rock boulder. I sucked at punching, didn’t have the violence in me. Neither the strength, to be honest.
He didn’t even bother to pretend to flinch, the buffed up bastard.
I slumped on the couch, completely wiped out from my one-block crazy run. My body might seem fit, but it sure didn’t feel like it.
“You okay? You look a little pale.” Matt said, watching me with concern.
“Thanks. I’m fine. I just ran a bit too fast, thanks to you, asshole.” I gave him an insulted glare.
“All right, I’m sorry! I didn’t expect you were actually going to try to come in ten minutes, Tay. I thought you knew I was joking! You know it’s impossible, you’ve been coming here for a long time to know that!”
“I almost made it though,” I told him with a smug grin.
“Yeah, I’m glad to know you care so much about our hangout.” He mused, chuckling.
“Of course, dude! I know how heartbroken you must be right now! You can’t be left alone, grieving like this. God knows what you may do to yourself!” I said in all seriousness, while putting a hand over my heart.
A second later, we were both cracking up laughing on his couch.
“Man, I’m on fire today. I made Jesse even cry from laughing so much,” I said, crossing my legs over his coffee table. “I’m so hilarious.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Matt waved a hand and sat by my side, close to me.
I tensed a little with his sudden proximity. Not that it was a bad thing, I was just noticing the closeness, but really, I wasn’t complaining.
“So, are you ready for someaction?” Matt asked in a deep voice.
I turned my head slowly to face him, and gulped dry as I muttered.