At some point in life everyone is forced to make decisions that change their life forever. Mine was a few days before my last meeting with my father, when the court asked me whether I want to live with my father or mother.
I carelessly looked at my parents and looked back at the judge . So the old man simplified the question and asked "papa or mama?"
Both my parents were crying at that time but had different emotions. One was happy and the other was emotionally broken.
In life many of our desires end as not achieved, you ask for one thing but life gives you something else. The judge decided to send me with my mother when her advocate convinced the Oldman that the life of a child will be difficult around an alcoholic father and a child needs his mother more than his father. Two valid points that overturned my life. It was embarrassing for me because I chose my father and now I have to face my mother. I thought of how awkward it would be but to my surprise she never asked about it or questioned . Maybe she respected my decision.
Different from my memories that day I saw another face of my father. Like a burning candle he was melting in the court, his eyes were red and filled with tears. Some words are trying to escape from his mouth but his lips hold it tightly. He ran his left hand to the pant's left side pocket and grabbed a white folded kerchief and wiped his tears . Looking at me he smiled to hide his tears . In my opinion he never deserved this, no one deserves this.
After the hearing, when my mother and I came out of the court, I saw my father rushing towards his car. He opened the door and grabbed a Mickey Mouse doll, my favorite and ran towards me. He kneeled, handed over the doll and for the last time grabbed my cheeks and kissed. He hardly regained his height and walked back.
"Father don't forget to bring my colored pencils in the Evening ``.when I said, he walked like didn't hear though we were close to each other.
The first few days after divorce were hard for my mother. Deep down both loved eachother but don't know what went wrong. Anyway the tight schedules of work kept her going. After the divorce there was a sudden fall in the income of the family since father was the major source of income and there was a loan to be paid which was taken for the refurbishing of our house. Yes, a decent amount of cash has been received from my father as compensation since he was unemployed at that time.( One third of his wealth), which was fully used to repay the remaining loan . So mother have to work 12 hours a day inorder to Balance the income and expenses. She worked as a Staff in a grocery store. I remember when my grandfather asked her to marry someone she replied,
"My arms are strong enough to carry my family. If you ever depend on someone you will have to be dependent for your whole life."
After one and half years Julianne quit her job because of owner's sexual harrasment and abuse. She knew that one day she would have to quit so saved a part of her monthly salary which she split into two one third and two third. With some borrowings from neighbors and friends and two thirds of the savings she opened a small grocery store in the town. The first month's sales were comparatively low, so at the end of the month (October) some of the supplier's cash was not paid. The month of November didn't bring any difference in sales either. So Julianne decided to end the purchase of certain products because of low demand and took the remaining amount of savings to purchase festival products ahead of Christmas even though it was not enough money . So finally she accepted financial help from grandfather.
Luckily December changed the business. At the time of Christmas there was a huge rise in sales. She sold many of the old stocks at a discounted price. With the money she received she paid off the debts, for the first time after many months our family's income crossed the expense.