The snow falling outside was beautiful. I sat in a blue fluffy chair in Alyi’s grandmother (Evelyn)’s living room, so I could watch the snow fall. The Christmas tree was next to me and shined bright with all its beautiful lights. It was decorated in white and gold with pieces of red throughout. My wife and Dominant, Alyi and I were at Evelyn’s house for the Christmas holiday. We were in Tennessee to visit our families for the hoilday. I would spend Christmas Eve here in Evelyn’s large home with Alyi and Christmas Day with my family at my parent’s house without Alyi. She wasn’t allowed at my parent’s house, so she wouldn’t be going with me. That was the way we had spent our holidays since we’d been together. I was happy with my plans since I couldn’t change my parent’s decision, but I had a little anxiety that my parents would find out that I was pregnant.
Alyi and I had had a go-round with our friend, Justin and I gotten pregnant. I was only three and a half months along, so it wouldn’t be too hard to hide. All I needed was a loose sweater.
“How’s it looking out there, Lovely?” Alyi asked as she came to stand by the chair I was sitting in.
“It’s still falling. It’s starting to lay and build on the grass. I would love a good snow, but I need to be able to drive to my parent’s tomorrow.” I was a terrible driver and snow would not be welcome on the road.
“I can drive you if you want.”
“I think that would drive my parents crazy, but I think you should. I’m not good with snow and driving.” I rolled my eyes at her and she giggled at me.
“It won’t be a problem. My Hummer goes great in the snow.” The Hummer she left in Tennessee was now at her grandmother’s house. The only car I had was in Seattle. My old car I had here fell apart and had to be thrown out.
“No problem, baby. Speaking of baby – how are you feeling?” She looked thoughtful when she asked.
“I feel good. My stomach has relaxed and just sitting here watching the snow is calming.”
“I’m glad to hear it. It’s almost dinner time.” Maria, the housekeeper, was making dinner before she left. She had cooked a turkey with all the fixings. “She’s going to head home shortly, so she doesn’t get stuck here. She lives almost an hour away.”
“Sounds good. I’m hungry.” We had all taken our turn helping Maria in the kitchen. She didn’t ask for the help, but we all felt like it was a big meal for just one person to cook. I was sure she appreciated the help. I had already volunteered to help do the dished after dinner.“It smells good, but I don’t want to leave the snow. I’m afraid if I leave it, it will quit falling.” I smiled at her and raised my eyebrow.
“I think it will be okay. It’s supposed to snow all night. We’re supposed to get a few inches.”
“You’ll definitely have to drive me to Mom’s tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry, Lovely.”
“Mrs. Scott, dinner is ready,” Maria said to Alyi as she came into the room. “I am heading home now and I want to wish the two of you a very Merry Christmas. Have a good night.”
“Thank you, Maria. Merry Christmas to you too,” Alyi responded.
“Merry Christmas,” I told her.
“Thank you ladies. Goodnight.” Maria turned to the door and exited the room.
“Alyi,” we heard Evelyn call out.
“Coming,” she called back. “Come on, Lil. Dinner time.”
“I’m coming,” I told her. I got up and we walked toward the dining room.
Everything was laid out on the table. The turkey sat in the middle while there were dishes of stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a dish of gravy. There was a bowl of dinner rolls as well. The view was perfect. My stomach started to growl just looking at it.
“This looks and smells great,” I said to Alyi and Evelyn.
“Yes it does. I thanked Maria – from all of us – for dinner. She did a fantastic job. There is a cinnamon crumb cake for dessert,” Evelyn told us. “I’m glad she was willing to spend her Xmas eve with us. It would have been difficult for me to get all of this put together myself. It’s still hard for me without Jake here.” My heart broke a little at that last comment. I knew it would have been hard, but she wouldn’t have had to do it alone. Alyi and I would have helped. Alyi’s grandfather had passed away from a heart attack a few months ago.
“We would have helped, Grandma. You know that,” Alyi said in a quiet and serious voice.
“It was just easier this way, sweetheart. Let’s sit down.” We walked further into the room and took our seat at the table. Evelyn was at the head of the table and Alyi and I sat on either side of her. I wanted to sit next to Alyi, but I also wanted the table to be balanced. Evelyn said a small prayer before we begun to dig in.
“This is delicious,” I commented after I had tried everything on my plate. My stomach started to rumble and I was pretty sure it wasn’t a good thing. Usually when I ate a meal – I threw up after about five minutes then I could go on eating the rest of my meal without another problem. I had gotten sick at breakfast and lunch and I knew it would only be a matter of time before I got sick again. Pregnancy could be crazy.
“I agree. I love turkey,” Alyi said. Her grandmother was in the middle of taking a bite, so she just nodded in agreement. “Her gravy is really good. I know it’s homemade. I can make biscuit gravy, but have no clue about meat gravy. I just buy the jars of chicken or beef gravy. Lilee does well with gravy.” My stomach started to really become upset.
“If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” I told them as I stood up.
“Everything okay?” Evelyn asked.
“Yes. I just need the bathroom.” I made my way out of the room.
I was almost too late, but I made it to the toilet just in time. I hated being sick. The throw and jerk my body felt was almost painful. I vomited three times, until my body felt calm again. I sat on my knees for a few moments. I got up and wiped and rinsed out my mouth. I took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom – with my appetite intact.
“Welcome back,” Evelyn greeted me.
“Are you alright? You got up during breakfast, lunch, and now dinner. Is something wrong with the food?”
“No, no, not at all. The food is fine. It’s just me.”
“Lilee is pregnant, Grandma,” Alyi interjected. Evelyn’s fork fell and clattered against her plate.
“Excuse me,” she asked. Luckily she didn’t seem upset – just curious. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe Alyi just blurted out the news. I was terrified of my parents finding out before Jelly Bean was born. We called our baby Jelly Bean because the first time we saw her, the only thing we saw was something the size of a jelly bean.
“Lilee’s pregnant. She gets sick when she eats.”
“How did that happen? Were you wanting a baby?”
“It happened the old fashioned way.” I was even more shocked by the fact that she was about to explain to her grandmother that we had a threesome. I felt extremely shy.
“Well, like I told Alyi when she was a teenage, it only takes one time. Do you know who the father is?”
“Of course we do. We’ve only been with one man. He supports our choice to have the baby.”
“So, you’re happy with the choice?” Evelyn asked me directly.
“Very happy. We’re excited. I’m due in June. Please keep this between us. I know I will have to tell my parents eventually, but I’m just not ready now.” I gave her my most hopeful look.
“No problem, sweetheart. I’m honored that you chose to let me in on your secret. I hope I live long enough to see he or she. I couldn’t even tell you were pregnant. I suppose you aren’t far enough along yet. That’s good since you don’t want your parents knowing.”
“You’ll have to come out in the summer time. For now, our Jelly Bean is safe and sound in Lilee’s belly. We’re ready to meet her already,” Alyi chimed in.
“Do you know she’s a girl yet?” Evelyn asked
“Not yet, but we call her a she for now.
“Congratulations. I’m excited for you. I never thought I’d see great grandchildren. I wish Jake was here to see.” I knew that Jake’s passing was still hard on Evelyn. I was impressed she had been so put together for the holiday.
“I miss him too, but he’s in our thoughts,” Alyi said sadly. I had resumed my dinner and the second time around was even better.
“Does your stomach feel better, Lilee?” Evelyn inquired.
“Yes. I usually feel better after I get sick.” Alyi said Evelyn never talked about being a parent because of how horrible her son turned out. She hated to talk about him or raising him.
“That’s good to hear. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I know Alyi takes good care of you and I know you take care of her too. You ladies are great together.” She was so supportive and sweet. We all smiled at each other then fell silent as we ate.
I sat and thought about what had just happened. I knew that Evelyn would be supportive. I hadn’t planned on telling anyone so soon that I was pregnant, but I wasn’t upset that Alyi told someone either. It just threw me off. It relieved me a little too. I knew Alyi would have been the one to tell her grandmother regardless of when, but it was still a small weight off my shoulders. I couldn’t even imagine the conversation I would have with my parents. I would have to lie to them. I knew I couldn’t tell them the truth of how it came to be. I could just not answer the question when it came up.
“You look deep in thought,” Alyi said quietly to me.
“I’m just thinking about my parents.” I looked at her and took a bite of my stuffing.
“Not really. Just about our future conversation.”
“Don’t worry about it now, baby. It’s fine for now and will be fine later. I will be here for you if you decide you want me to help you.”
“Thank you, but I’m done with that for now. It’s Christmas Eve and we’re going to enjoy it.”
“That’s the spirit, sweetheart,” Evelyn interrupted. “Tonight will be a good night.”
Snow was still falling as we all sat around the Christmas tree. Evelyn had made hot chocolate for everyone and it was time to open presents. Alyi and I had brought the gifts we had bought for Evelyn and a few for us, but left the majority of the presents we got for each other at home. Alyi got up to distribute the gifts.
“Lilee, this one is for you.” She handed me a small wrapped box. It was from Evelyn. I waited while all the presents were handed out before I opened any.
It didn’t take long for everyone to open their presents. Evelyn had got me a pair of diamond earrings and a large family Bible. I loved the Bible. It was a thick one that was made for a family and had family tree information filled in. She said it was perfect now that we were having a baby. Alyi got me a few things, but my favorite was a picture of a horse stable. She had bought a small piece of land in Seattle and put horses there for me, so I could ride whenever I wanted to. I was so excited. The picture was just a tease.
“Thank you both so much. I love all my gifts,” I told them both.
“You’re more than welcome, dear,” Evelyn replied. I was opening the box of expensive chocolate that she got for me when Alyi leaned over and kissed me.
“You’re welcome, baby. I hope you enjoy it.”
“Of course I will. I want to wait until I’m not pregnant anymore – plus we need warmer weather to ride,” I told her.
“There are people that I hired to take care of the stable year-round, so no worries about that. I know you love horses.”
“I do love horses, but I love you more.”
“I sure hope so.” I ate one of the chocolate pieces and took a sip of my hot cocoa. It was a great combination. The pieces were so smooth. Some of them looked crunchy, but I didn’t want to eat too many pieces.
“These are so tasty,” I told Alyi while she looked at her box of chocolate.
“I was just about to ask. They look good.” She looked at me then at her grandmother. “Grandma, you look tired. Are you alright?”
“I’m just tired, honey. It’s been a long day for an old lady,” she answered. Evelyn really did look exhausted. “It’s just my first Christmas as a widow. I’m enjoying our time together, but my heart is still a little broken.”
“I know and I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel. I know how I feel, but I’m sure it pales to how you feel. I wish there was something I could do for you.”
“Don’t worry about me, Alyi. I’m just ready for bed.”
“That sounds like a good idea. We could all use some sleep. Lilee has a big day tomorrow. Her sister, Laurie is coming home for the first time in years.”
“I heard about that. I hope it’s not too awkward. I hope it’s a nice reunion. Today was a busy day though. Let’s get some sleep.” Evelyn smiled and stood up. She gave Alyi and me a hug and a kiss then walked out of the room after a sad ‘goodbye.’
“I feel so bad for her,” I told Alyi.
“I know, but I think she just wants to be alone. She has always been like that,” she said quietly. “Let’s head upstairs to my bedroom. We could use some sleep too.”
“Okay.” I put my chocolate down, drank the rest of my drink, and stood up. I picked up Alyi and Evelyn’s cocoa cups and took them to the kitchen.
“Are you ready?” I was asked when Alyi came into the kitchen.
“Yes. Let’s go to bed.” She reached her hand out to me and led me upstairs and into her bedroom.
“Let’s shower first, baby girl.”
“Okay, Mommy,” I whispered. I didn’t want Evelyn to hear me call her Mommy. I started undressing myself and Alyi did the same.
“Your little bump is so cute. It’s small and barely there, but it’s cute,” she told me.
“I know. I’m going to enjoy watching it grow bigger. I love our Jelly Bean.”
“I love her too.” We were in the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom and Alyi was turning on the shower.
“I wish there was something we could do for your grandmother. I know she held it together just for us. I feel so sad about it.”
“I know, but she’s a strong woman. Her and I will spend the day together while you’re gone tomorrow. Hopefully she will feel a little bit better.”
“I hope so.” We got into the shower and squished together. This shower was only half the size of our shower at home. There was only one shower head.
Our shower was quiet and to the point. When we got out, Alyi wrapped herself in her towel then reached out and grabbed mine. She dried me off then rolled my hair up in it. She grazed her fingers back and forth over my small belly. Alyi kissed me and pulled me back into the bedroom. I was feeling really tired.
“You look so tired,” Alyi observed. “I thought we could play a little to celebrate the holiday, but we can wait until tomorrow night. We’ll play when we get home too. How does that sound?”
“Well, it sounds good, but I think I’ll be more tired tomorrow. Tomorrow will be exhausting. I want to see my family, but I’m kind of dreading it. We can play tonight if you want to.
“Good. Lay down on the bed.” I did as I was told and closed my eyes and prepared to enjoy what was coming to me.