BETWEEN THE DAY Andrew dies and the moment my baby is born, I do not remember a lot. I do remember though the excruciating pain of childbirth and wondering why women did it so willingly.
I lie next to him, he is a little over a month old, and I look down at his face lovingly. Although I thought I loved Andrew completely, now when I look down into the sweet, beautiful face of my child, I understand the concept of unconditional love fully. I have found it.
I hear the door to my room open softly and then from the corner of my eye I see Edward walking tentatively into the room. He stands over me and then he looks down at William in my arms.
I decided to name my son William Francois. When I told all the doting men who surround me on a daily basis now, they were ecstatically happy I chose the name, William. Edward was not so happy about Francois being connected to the name as well, though, but I insisted and, after all, it was my choice.
Edward whispers softly, “Do you want anything to eat?”
I have them cooking for me now, although I do not think this particular novelty will last.
He says amazed, “I cannot believe how much he resembles William.”
I look down again and smile. His hair is white blonde, his eyes sparkling blue. He has that brooding look of Andrew and Andrew’s long eyelashes. He is just absolutely beautiful. I feel my heart overflow with love for him.
I look up at Edward again and softly I reply, “I’ll come down now. He is about to fall asleep.”
Edward nods his head and then softly he leaves the room.
I remain laying next to William for a little while longer, smelling the sweet smell of him.
Who would ever have thought I would take to motherhood so naturally? I wonder if it is a natural instinct built into each girl. I cannot say I was glad I was attacked and my life changed in a second. I went from being immortal to being mortal in the blink of an eye, but how could I regret that awful moment when now I am here holding my purpose in life in my arms. Always have I searched for this, this feeling which will bind me, no matter what, to another living being and I found it in a place where I was not even looking for it.
When my stomach growls hungrily, I get up from the bed quietly. I lift William gently and I cradle him in my arms before I carefully place him in his crib.
Amanda bought me every single baby accessory ever invented, so now I push the button on the baby monitor and attach its partner to my hip.
I leave the room and then I join everybody in the kitchen. The smell of food welcomes me before they do.