Two days. It has exactly been two days since after the talk with my dad. He hasn’t visited me nor have I seen his face since then. I felt quite guilty and was sad to hear nothing from him. But it was nice to say that Kristina had been visiting me quite a lot of times. It was unusual to have someone show such caring for me. It has been a long time. I had been feeling very well and insisted Caelie that I didn’t need to stay but knowing that she was as stubborn as Kristina, I had given up and just went along with what she said.
After 2 days of no signs of possible illness from me, they might allow me to go home hopefully. I felt tired of sitting in bed the whole day, with nothing much to do. Every day was like a routine in hospitals and that’s why I hate it. Waking up then having a nurse feed you for breakfast and lunch. I was glad that Kristina feeds me instead during dinner. It was quite awkward having the same nurse treat you. But I might say the woman was nice.
I was on my phone, listening to some songs of Ed Sheeran. I love his songs, it was quite calming. Especially the acoustic, the ones in which he uses a guitar to sing with. My eyes darted around the room, looking at the dull boring white walls. There wasn’t much decoration. The only thing that looks decent was the flowers that Nat brought.
I thought about how much time has passed and how long since I’ve come into Colorado. It was safe to say I’ve made it somehow. The dream of having a once completed family. But did I actually feel it? Was it the same? Did I feel the same tenderness, warmth and loving feeling as before? They are nice. But was I ready to move on?
Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair. Maybe it was too early. But years have passed and I’m stuck in my own inner shell blocking all those helping hands. I was a terrible mess inside with a vulnerable heart. I couldn’t let anyone be close anymore or else I’ll just lose them. The only ones I’ve kept since the was Emmie, my dad, and the family I have back in Ontario.
I was startled by the sudden ring of my phone. “Hello?” I answered.
“Jesse! What happened?” I pulled back my phone away from my ears, trying to minimize the concerned loud voice of Emmie.
“Ugh lower your voice Em!”
“You didn’t skype with me yesterday so I was worried. I tried contacting you through your phone but you weren’t answering” she said, panic can be heard in her voice.
I smiled “Thanks, Em”
“Thanks for what?”
“You know for being constantly being here for me.”
She laughed through the other side of the phone and said “What in the world are you talking about? Of course, I would! Are you being emotional?”
Quickly I denied “Of course not! I just... miss you guys I guess”
“What really happened Jess”
Shrugging, I answered “Nothing much. Just passed out and in the hospital”
“What the hell!” she practically screamed, “and you didn’t even tell me!”
“Chill out. I passed out right?” I chuckled “Of course I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Don’t worry about it”
I heard her exhale, releasing the breath she held “Did someone punch the light out of you?” she joked.
Quickly the smile on my face faded. “He showed up Em” I barely whispered.
There was silence on the other end for about a minute.
“Who... what?” she asked
“Remember when I talked to you about my past?”
I heard her reply with an mhm. So I continued “He showed up to me. That’s why I blacked out. He reminded me so much of them that’s why”
“What did he do? Did he say anything?”
“No. He just re-introduced himself. Nothing happened after that I think” I replied. Now that I think about what did happen after?
“Do you... plan on seeing him or whatever?” Em hesitantly asked.
“No. I don’t want to be reminded of. It hurts Em.” my voice cracked by the painful memory. She understood and sooted me with words such as ‘it’s okay’ and ‘don’t worry about it’. After then did our conversation floated from topic to topic. I enjoyed talking to Em. She talked about the school, current gossips, and even how my family was. It was nice to hear that she still visits them even after I left.
I don’t know how long we talked but it was after lunch when she ended the call. After then did I notice that the nurse hadn’t come yet. My stomach grumbled and I groaned feeling hungry and empty. Suddenly there was a knock on the other.
Ah, finally! I thought.
“Come in,” I said loudly. I was then shocked to see who it was who came. It wasn’t the nice nurse who took care of me for the past days. Yet, maybe even someone better.
“Hi” Sabrina smiled holding a tray in her hands. I was too shocked to speak and just watched her as she approached and sat on the bed in front of me. She placed the tray with food on the table, then looked back at my shocked eyes.
“W-what are you doing here?” I asked timidly.
“Oh, you don’t want me here?” she grinned. I shook my head very slowly, not really knowing how to answer her. Then she laughed loudly seeing as my face started to go red.
“I’m just kidding Jessica. I came to visit you duh! Oh and I’m feeding you lunch today!”
“Where’s the nurse?” I asked instead, trying to ignore the loud beating of my chest.
“Right. I saw her in the hallway and asked for your room number. She told me she was going to go to your room because she was going to give you lunch. And so instead I just asked her if I could take it to you, then she said yes”
“mhm,” I mumbled while nodding in understatement. Just then my stomach growled again, causing me to be embarrassed more.
“Come on. Let’s get you eating. We have lasagna” she said.
“We?” I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Umm yeah. It’s free food so you gotta share man” she chuckled. She raised the fork and took the first bite of the lasagna. I was then too shock to say at least.
What in the world?
“Hey!” I found myself whining.
“What?” she giggled while munching.
“You do know I am the patient right?”
She shrugged and mumbled a “So?”
I gave her a playful glare before roughly taking the fork from her and getting myself a taste of the lasagna.
“mhhmm” I moaned quietly, enjoying the taste in my mouth. Just then did I hear the awkward silence when I turned to see Sabrina smirking while looking at me.
“Nothing... That just sounded... ” She didn’t need to finish off because I completely understood what she was talking about so I then coughed out what I was eating, so I could clear out the thoughts in my head.
Sabrina hurriedly opened the water bottle when she saw me struggling and handed it to me. I drowned the water in my mouth then inhaling after.
“Careful next time.”
I nodded, still coughing a bit.
I continued to eat very quietly. Time to time I would ask her if she wanted some but she would just refuse and smile. I guess she was just kidding around when she took a bite of my food. After I finished, she cleaned up for me.
“Um... what are you... uhh really doing here?” I asked curiously.
She combed her hair with her hand and answered “Just checking on you. You scared me shitless when you passed out you know”
“Yeah. The guy who was talking with you helped me out. What was his name again?” She pondered for a moment, her fingers resting below her chin.
“Carlo” I said.
“Yeah! Him. How do you know him anyway?”
“Umm... nothing just old... classmates”
Sabrina watched my eyes avert somewhere else. It was clear to her that I was lying. I was not a very good liar I’d say.
“Is something wrong Jessica?” she asked, her voice soft filled with concern. Her face now nearer than before. She was trying to read me, I could tell. Her eyes searched my face, trying to figure me out.
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong” I lied.
“Okay then. But if you need anything just tell me okay?”
I nodded and smiled in response.
“Alright. Now let’s get you out of here!” she grinned.
“Huh? I can’t”
“Why not?” she asks.
“I’m not allowed to” I answered. She was quiet for a bit then like as if a light bulb had lit up she smirked.
“I have an idea!”
I don’t like the sound of this.
“W-what?” I asked nervously. I can smell her breath and her perfume. This is bad. She then leaned more even closer. A very dangerous move.
“I think I saw some nurse outfit earlier outside in the hall” she whispered. My eyes grew wide in shock. No, she’s not going to do what I’m thinking right?
“I’ll be back in a bit”
“Wait! Sabrina!” I yelled after. As she got on the door, she winked at me and said “see you later”
’I’m not sitting on that” I said while crossing my arms.
“Come on Jessica! They won’t notice”
Sabrina was now wearing one of the nurse’s outfit. I don’t know where she took it from but all I could say is that it looked sexy as hell to her. She was now putting her hair up in a ponytail and wore a fake glasses to make her appear a bit older. Which was indeed very sexy still.
“Sabrina! L-let’s just go back”
“Sit down already” she pointed towards the wheelchair. Her idea? Have me look like a disabled person while she takes me from places to places. Is it a good one? Sure but considering that we’re both not allowed to do so makes it scary but thrilling. I always get to experience such bad things with her. I mean, I don’t mean it the other way but yeah.
Soon we heard and saw an approaching nurse by the end of the hall.
Sabrina panicked and hissed “Jessica sit!” She took my arm and forced me down. She took a random paper clip and started writing something to make it look like she was an actual nurse. The nurse passed by us, giving us a quick glance. When we thought we were safe cause she was 4 meters away, we were then wrong.
She came back and asked Sabrina “I haven’t seen you before. Are you the new nurse?”
“Oh um... yes. ” Sabrina stuttered. I nearly laughed right there.
“Well welcome to the team. If you need anything just ask me. My name is Darcy. What task are you given right now?”
“Nothing.. just umm.. taking her somewhere else” she pointed at me. I held my breath and put up the mask I was wearing so it was covering my nose and my mouth. I faked coughing so that the nurse would look away.
“Oh, I see. Well if she needs recreation then take her to the 3rd floor. You can also her around the garden if she wants. As long as she’s with you then she can go” The nurse told Sabrina.
“Yeah. Thanks, I guess” she smiled but I noticed it twitched. Ha! Now I really wanted to laugh so bad.
“Okay see you and have a good first day!” The woman said then left.
After we’re sure she’s gone, we both exhaled. My hand holding my chest while she started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“That was hilarious. Whew!” Her face lit up in excitement. “Man let’s go”
“Obviously not the third floor. You wouldn’t want to be there. There are so much old people and it stinks medicine”
“Where then?” I asked.
“To the garden of course,” she grinned then she started pushing the wheelchair towards the elevator.
On the way, I was then meet with more thrilling excitements. It was scary. One doctor asked for Sabrina’s I.D. but she just told him that she was new and that hers was just getting printed or whatever. A couple of old men looked at Sabrina in such way that it made me nearly puke. Sure she was pretty, but seriously... in a hospital? Really?
When we got in the garden, she showed me around and it surprised me how she knows so much about flowers. We came around different kinds. From common to some rare. I saw very familiar ones like roses, tulips, sunflowers, and many other more. I don’t know how they were able to keep up a beautiful garden place like this but it was magnificent.
“This one... looks like you” Sabrina pointed towards a pale violet flower. Its bark is grey to grey-brown. Very smooth looking. The leaves vary from light green to glaucous, oval to cordate, with pinnate leaf venation.
“Uhh.. what is that? and why?” I asked.
“It’s a Lilac. You haven’t seen one?” she asks in disbelief.
“No. The only one I’m very familiar of are dandelions” I said.
She laughed and shook her head “You’re very funny you know. A lilac means youthful and innocence. And you Jessica, is one”
My face reddens as she looked into my eyes intently. Sure pfft innocence yeah. It seems like she was somewhat mocking me or something with the smirk implanted on her face. But the way she’s gazing at me now makes her comment even more meaningful. I could feel my heart beat faster and a smile crept across my face subconsciously.
“Thanks” I mumbled.
We continued walking around for minutes, having a small conversation from there to then. When we reached the corner, I noticed a flower that I am very well off.
“That... it’s somewhat you” I chuckled pointing towards the almost black flower.
Sabrina glared at me and said “Black flowers are given to dead people Jessica.”
I giggled and smiled “Yeah I know. But that’s a Pansy”
“A pantie did you say?” Sabrina laughed
“No. A Pansy!” I clarified. I rolled my eyes at her. “And there’s no such thing as black flowers. That’s a very dark purple”
“It’s violet,” she said.
“They’re the same Jessica” she huffed.
“Whatever. I gave that to my mother at her funeral” I found myself saying. Suddenly the atmosphere changed very quickly at the mention of my mother. “They may not look bright or great as the other flowers but this has a very well-meaning into it.”
“What does it mean?” she softly asks.
“It attracts love to the one who carries it” I smiled.
And you got me attracted to you.
The next day I came back to school. Of course, I was bombarded with so many questions. Especially from Leylah and Carly. What can I say? It feels like I haven’t seen them for long too. As soon as I approached my locker in the morning, Leylah was already there waiting. Jace and John were there too. They were talking to each other.
“Um... excuse me,” I said.
Their eyes widen in shock once they saw me. Leylah greeted me with a hug unexpectedly and squealed.
“Jessica! Where have you been?” She and John asked at the same time.
“Oh just... in the hospital,” I said honestly.
“Why? What happen? Are you hurt?” Leylah and John started looking at my body, Leylah touching both sides of my face and turning them just to see if there was any damage at all.
Then she looked into my eyes and asked once again “Are you okay Jessica? What happened?”
“Nothing, I just passed out. I-It’s nothing big” I said then smiled, trying to show them that I was indeed okay.
Physically, I thought.
“Oh okay. You missed some assignments. I got them for you though.” she said.
I nodded and said thanks. They watched me as I opened my locked and put my stuff away while grabbing some books that I needed.
“We’ll take you to class Jessica” Jace smiled.
“Umm.. no.. er it’s okay”
“No, we insist” John agreed. Then he took the books from me and held open his hand “Bag please”
“Jessica,” He said in a dark low warning tone. But I knew he was being playful.
I sighed and handed him my backpack then followed them behind as we started walking towards my first class.
Leylah was beside me asking if I was still okay and I would nod whenever she asks. She also asks me how am I doing for the past days and I would say I’m fine. Just then her phone rang and she answered the call.
“Hello?” she mouthed a ‘wait’ for me. “Tiffany?”
Tiffany sounds kind of familiar. Wait, I thought.
“Oh yeah. That would be cool” I heard her.
“Yeah I’ll ask her,” she said. “Okay bye.”
She smiled then turned to me
“Hey, Tiffany was inviting the both of us over and have some bonding time... You know like before?”
“Oh, umm... so are you coming?”
I noticed she avoided my question but since I didn’t want to be rude, I accepted.