The kids clapped as I finished, happy to see that most of them were smiling.Turning to Jessica, I smirked when her face changed from looking entertained to being scared and nervous.
“Thanks, everyone! The girl whom I brought with me today will be singing too, so make sure you guys cheer her on!” I announced.
The look in Jessica’s face was hilarious. Her face scrunched up in horror as soon as I got up from my seat and started walking towards her. I laughed while pulling her up. She continued to resist but soon gave in when I started poking her side.
“Come on Sica!”
“I um…” she mumbled. She needed to loosen up a bit. Just because the kids were looking at her curiously, she didn’t need to be that nervous.
“Should I play for you?” I grinned, noticing how she was fidgeting and moving around the stool. She shook her head. We waited patiently for her to bring up the inner confidence that I knew she kept hidden inside. But there was none. Soon she started breathing harder and faster as her eyes darted around the little crowd of kids. I heard JR snicker a bit which made me frown. And soon I felt bad, because her hands were shaking and it seemed like she wanted to get the hell out of this place. Because she didn’t feel comfortable.
She didn’t feel safe.
She didn’t feel… home. I guess.
But I wasn’t going to give up for Jessica. I stood up, shaking my head. Fishing out my earphones from my pocket, I handed it to her. She looked at me, her eyes crystal clear.
I smiled “Hey use this. Just plug it in into your phone. Choose a song and sing.”
“Don’t worry about anything else Jessica. Just sing with your whole heart. Don’t even think about the people around you. It’s fun to sing, I tell ya.” I smiled, feeling happy that she somewhat calmed down.
“Don’t you look at me!” I said laughing while going back to my seat. And from here, I looked at her. Seeing as she was just a simple girl filled with insecurities and worries that I wanted to know.
Since the day I met her, I thought she was just another average girl whom may have banged my cousin. But since I encountered her on the vending machine, I knew she was different. Usually because those who have may have met Sabrina have dressed as a slut or wears too much makeup just to get noticed. Or at least. And a unique girl like her made me curious. Curious to know what kind of personality she had. Wha she liked, disliked, and what she enjoys.
She’s like a dandelion. White and fragile. It takes a blow of an air to free their round seeds. It takes a little push to let Jessica’s true self come out.
I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me to sleep at night
I miss the way you sing to me
Like there’s no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe
It shocked me. How her voice was also as gentle as her personality. The way she hummed was as if she was whispering a lullaby. And how her fingers gently tapped the screen of her phone to make a beat. It was funny noticing her small actions.
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
Then I questioned myself. Whether she was singing for someone. Someone she loved. But I thought it couldn’t be possibly ‘someone’.
And now I miss everything about you
I can’t believe it, I still miss everything
Your smile, hugs, and kisses
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa…
And I wanna thank god
Because of you, I feel alive
But I’m still sorry, for all the things I’ve done.
And I wanna say it a million times.
But now it’s useless cause you’re gone.
And that’s when I realized, that the person whom she was singing about was her mother. The way she sang was filled with pure emotions that were deep within inside her. It was too sad… as if you could feel her emotions drowning from sorrow and misery.
So then when she finished, everyone clapped. And I rise from my seat, immediately giving her a big hug. Like a tissue soaking in all of the tears. Well fuck sorry, I suck at metaphors and similes but you can picture it.
“That was beautiful!” One of the little kids said. Jessica smiled, thanking the little girl.
After entertaining the kids for a little more, Jessica and I decided to drop by Starbucks. Well, it’s not like she wanted to but I wanted to keep her for awhile.
“I didn’t know you could sing like that,” I said to her before taking a sip of my Iced Peppermint Mocha.
“I wasn’t… I mean… uh thanks”
“You have talent”
“Umm… I used to sing. I-I mean, before. A long time ago” she mumbled. She lazily stirred on her vanilla cappuccino, making random patterns on her cup.
Shocked, I asked “Really?”
She nodded then took a sip “Back then…long long ago”
“Then you should consider joining a band or a choir! I mean, with that talent of yours, I’m pretty sure you’ll do good.”
“I’m not really interested… in joining any clubs or anything” she said. As predicted.
We continued to make small talks. Always me trying to engage her to speak to me and get to know more about herself. When the clock hit 7:30, her phone rang and she excused herself to answer it. Of course not before apologizing. I heard her mumble a bunch of ‘okays’ and then ended the phone call with an ‘I’ll be there’.
“Need to go?”
She nodded then grabbed her stuff along with her.
“I can take you home” I offered. I mean, I’m the one who took her here, it’s only my responsibility to take her back safely.
“Um. it’s okay. Nathan is outside” she said. Then she pointed to a blue sports car looking outside. Nathan looked at me weirdly before waving to Jessica.
She stood there, not saying anything. She stared at me, and I stared back.
Shaking her head, she said “Nothing. Thank you for today”
Then she made her way to the door and before stepping out, she looked back at me and smiled “I had a good time today. Thank you again… Sarah.”
And when she stepped out, I couldn’t help but grin. My smile would’ve like Cheshire the Cat. But I didn’t give a fuck. I stayed half an hour more, scrolling through my twitter profile, thinking nothing but about her. Her smile was just too vitalizing.
Soon when it was near eight, an employee approached and said that the store was about to close. So I left a huge tip cause I was feeling happy and the lady looked at me weirdly when I exited. Fishing out the keys from my jeans, I started my motorcycle and then backed away from the parking lot.
When I rounded around the corner of my street, I decided to go on a shortcut. It wasn’t that dark still so I was pretty sure the back alleys were pretty safe at this time. I passed by the homeless man, begging for coins and for food from the sidewalk. Their ribs can be seen from the thin clothes that they were wearing. Because I felt like today was my day, I decided to stop and give the leftovers I had from lunch. They looked at me. Scared and curious about why a random teenage girl approached them. Some little kids backed away as I got closer.
“Chill man. I’m just here to give you this”. Not wanting to take any step closer because they stunk like rotten eggs, I threw the plastic bag and immediately, the little kids jumped over it, trying to fight over the food.
I snickered, shaking my head as I walk towards my motorcycle. Throwing my helmet on, I started up the engine. But just as I looked up from the road, a fist came flying into my face, sending me one meter back away from my motorcycle.
“What the fuck”
The cover shattered from my eye view while I struggled to get up. Soon I heard the little kids screaming and their feet scrambling to get away as fast as they can.
“You like that?” A woman voice said.
I squinted and used my arms to support myself so I could see who beat the shit out of me. This person was going to pay. My eyes widen in shock when I noticed Nicole leaning over my face. It was quite hard to visualize her, seeing as she was wearing all black and leather clothes. She was wearing shades in the dark and her dark hood covered most of her hair. But I realized the voice as soon as he spoke.
“What the fuck do you want Nicole?!” I asked annoyed. I had a feeling that tonight was going to turn out bad, seeing as she had her whole gang up with her.
She laughed evilly. Her sound echoing through the dark alleys. Then she held onto my chin and whispered “You know what I want Sarah”
“I want my brother back”
I laughed. Like really fucking loud. I mean is this girl crazy?
“Your brother is fucking dead Nicole!” I laughed. Soon, a hand came flying over my left cheek.
Well, shit bricks. That hurt.
“You killed him” she yelled and then gave me another bloody punch right under my right eyes. I fell back on the cold ground as I held my hand over my eye. My patience was running out.
She stood and talked to some of the guys behind her. Two hands grabbed each of my arms from each side. They dragged me along the rough road and slapped into a hard garage door.
“What are we going to do with her?” An emo looking guy asked. He smoked a cigarette and exhaled it in front of my face.
“Just do your job, Nick,” Nicole said.
Nothing was heard into the dark alley except for the heavy punches I received from each side of my body. I laughed and grunted in pain.
I like pain.
It’s what fueled me up.
“Doesn’t look like she’s gonna pass out soon?” One of the masked guys said and then stepped over my neck to cut off my oxygen supply.
“Trust me. You have to do better than that” I smirked. His face turned into an angry one. Before another kick landed on my face, Nicole yelled a stop.
“Don’t kill her.” She bit her nails and looked around/
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” The Nick boy said.
She glared at him “I know what I want. And it’s not your position to question me what I want to do”
She turned to me and looked down, her face filled with nothing but rage “Just continue.”
They followed her orders and I was beaten again. It has been a long time since I experienced pain. And it’s not like I was a masochistic or some sort. Pain gives me energy. It’s what fueled my inner beast and its results are not good. They continued to punch and kick, leaving bruises anywhere. I coughed blood from my mouth but I didn’t do anything. I didn’t beg for them to stop but I did pray for myself not to lose it.
But as always, I never won.
The inner me took over.
And I lost it again.
I held Nicole by her throat while pinning her to the same garage door where they took hold of me. It wasn’t long after I had lost it and I was on fury. My fist landed on every bone of their body where it would crack and leave permanent pain. Their bodies left unconscious on the ground. The same amount of bruises and scars were now implanted into Nicole’s body and face. And now, I had Nicole by my hand. I had just done the same thing to her as they did to me earlier
Her eyes told me she was angry, terrified, and sad at the same time. It confused me how she could at me with different emotions at the same time.
“A-aren’t you going… to kill me?” she gasped for air but my hold tightens around her neck.
“Why would I? You tell me.”
Tears poured out while she smiled weakly “Because I just want everything to be over. The pain and sadness are slowly killing me. You’re the answers to my prayer Sarah”
“Kill me.” she whispered.
I looked at her confused. Confused by everything she said and what she meant.
“I said fucking kill me!” She screamed, crying and trying to punch me.
“Don’t!” A voice said behind us. We turned towards a familiar girl who was now running towards us.
“Carly?” I asked. She was breathing hard and it looked like she just ran a mile. She rushed towards me and pulled away from Nicole.
Nicole fell and instantly Carly was there to catch her. She held out a napkin and assisted Nicole as she coughed up more blood.
“What the hell are you doing Sarah?” Carly yelled at me. She looked back at me and Nicole, shaking her head.
“I’m so glad I got here before any killing happened. A group of kids came by where I work and they were running so scared that I had to ask one of the boys what happened”
“I.. I wasn’t” I snapped back to myself and looked into my surroundings, noticing the familiar bloodshed that had occurred years ago. My head started to spin and my vision blurred so I stumbled to hold on to a fence.
Soon, sirens were heard and the familiar blue and red lights invaded my eyesight. I heard Carly yelling something but I couldn’t grasp what she was saying. One of the uniformed men who came out of a police car pointed his gun at me and told me to put my hands up in the air and drop down. But before I could, my body had already been too exhausted that it went limp by itself. The paramedics took Nicole and Carly away, along with the other boys.
And here I was, my body being carried by two muscled officers who threw me into the back seat of a police car as if I was just some old dirty rag.