“Uh...” I watched as the two stare at each other. Wanting to break the awkward silence, I was about to speak when Carly came.
“Hey, Jessica” she quickly glanced at Sabrina before pulling me into a hug and quickly giving me a kiss on the cheek. “You really look pretty in that dress”
I smiled and said “Thank you”
“Anyway, sorry but I came to pull Leylah along. I need her to take pictures ” She looked at Leylah asking if she could. Leylah looked at Sabrina, a challenge look on her face before sighing and nodding.
“I’ll see you later Jesse?” She asked, a hopeful yearning in her eyes.
“Mhhm,” I said, nodding. As soon as they left, I felt an arm wrap around my waist making me shiver and flinch.
“So, do you still want to dance?” I heard Sabrina whisper in my ear, making me whimper quietly. God, I hope she didn’t hear that.
I nodded slowly before she guided me through the dance floor. We bumped Sarah again, who looked as if she was enjoying with London. Apparently, their dance moves weren’t as the same as others.
“Bitch, watch me rock the dance floor” I heard London say, challenging her sister. Then she started dancing, her moves unfamiliar, making some students look at her. They then started cheering when Sarah accepted her challenge
I heard Sabrina chuckle “Those two are idiots. Look at them dancing like chickens.”
I laughed, remembering Emmie being in a chicken suit and dancing like a chicken just to cheer me up.
“Your laugh is nice,” Sabrina said looking at me. Immediately, I felt a heat rushed to my cheeks. And all of a sudden, I felt self-conscious and nervous just being with her.
‘Okay. Just breathe’ I told myself. ‘Inhale. Exhale’
We both kept watching the siblings. And soon people started joining them until the song was changed. There were people clapping, booing, and yelling.
Now watch me whip, watch me nae nae.
“Aw shit shut the fuck up. Change the song you bitchy DJ” Sarah yelled to some freshman. The kid quickly changed it, afraid that Sarah would kill him.
The song was then changed into something slow and acoustic. I knew the song because it’s by Ed Sheeran. The title was called ‘Fall’.
Students groaned while the rest took their girlfriends and boyfriends to the dance floor me. As for me, I was so ready to leave and rest my feet when someone grasps into my hand, making me look at them.
Sabrina smiled, then looked away, as if she was nervous. “Hey um... Ha”
I looked into her eyes, curious to what she has to say. Then after her eyes met mine, and there she was again - smiling, which made me much more nervous than I was.
“Jessica, will you dance with me?” she asked in a gentle voice. So hushed, I had to ask her to repeat it. It was funny how she started fidgeting a bit and playing with the loose strands of her hair.
“I asked you... If you’d like to dance with me?” she repeated and then gave my hand a bit of a squeeze, which made me feel all giddy inside.
‘Ah I’m going to explode’
And that’s all it took for me to hold a smile in and nod, allowing her to guide me to the center of the dance floor. As we got there, I watched the other students watch their lovers with such twinkle in their eyes, and wonder if I had the same too.
‘Wait...no. Okay focus. It’s just a freaking dance. Inhale and exhale Jessica’
A pair of hands slowly slipped down my body and rested on my hips. I looked up to see Sabrina smiling. Looking around, I saw how most girls had their hand wrapped around their partner’s neck.
Confused about what I was supposed to do, I slowly raised my arm and gently rested it on her shoulder.
Sabrina chuckled at my own actions and said “You can wrap your arms me if you want” Then she added a wink, making me all blush and shit.
You and I. Two of a mind. This love’s. One of a kind
The song continued on with the chorus. At first, I was nervous and unsure of what to do. But Sabrina guided me along the way and soon our feet became synchronized together. I don’t even know how my arms ended up wrapping around her neck, how her head rested against mine, and how her breath started to tickle my skin. It was majestic and I felt some sort of comfort and happiness.
You and I. We’re drifting. Over the edge
Then she surprised by landing a soft kiss on my forehead. And as her lips touched my skin, I felt the familiar feeling of security when my mom used to do that. Then after we just gazed at each other. Her eyes similar to the stars in the night.
And I will fall for you. And I will fall for you
If I fall for you. Would you fall too?
Then feeling the love and warmness around her, I couldn’t help but bring our bodies closer. She smiled wider and chuckled at my bold actions.
“Jessica?” I heard her whisper.
You and I. Learning to speak. With kisses on cheeks
“Some girl is staring at us. Or to you. Look” she tapped me and I turned to see Emmie grinning. Then what she did after was embarrassing, she brought her hands together and made them kissing, while she mouthed ′Awww′
I looked up to Sabrina, her eyes closed enjoying the moment, and I was glad that she wasn’t looking at Emmie or else I would’ve died in embarrassment.
“Just... Some weird girl” I mumbled and then rolled my eyes at Emmie, which made her giggle.
No matter what, there’s always that one friend, who’ll always embarrass you in front of your crush.
And weirdly, I admit that I do have a crush on Sabrina. Hah, I feel like a teenager for once. Those books must’ve had such a huge effect on me.
You and I. We’re lifted. Over the edge
The song continued and over the shadows I saw Leylah, holding a camera while looking towards us. I couldn’t make her facial expression but I saw her wave and I smiled back. Shortly after, I for sure saw Sarah getting dragged by London, who then forced her to take Carly as her partner.
Carly looked pissed when she was disturbed by the siblings but sighed and agreed anyway. It looks like she was given some time to take a break from her duties.
Then shortly after, the two paired approached us.
“You won’t mind if we dance near right?” Sarah asked smirking. Sabrina and I stopped and I saw her gulp but nodded anyway. I noticed that she quickly glanced over Carly before, saying ‘okay’.
Sarah gave me a thumbs up and smiled.
And I will fall for you. And I will fall for you. If I fall for you. Would you fall too?
Sighing, I noticed the two glancing once and a while. And soon after, I lost the desire to dance. Once in awhile, Sabrina caught herself being either too fast or accidentally stepping on me. She was too focused looking at someone.
Sarah noticed my mood changes, so she mouthed me “Are you okay?”
And I will fall for you. And I will fall for you. And if I fall for you. Would you fall too?
But I forced a smile and shook my head. It was then near the end of the song when I started to slip myself away from her embrace and thanked her with a forced smile.
Would you fall too? Would you fall too?
Would you fall too? Would you fall too?
I guess you’ve already fallen for someone. Someone you knew.
The party continued, but I found myself isolated from everyone else. I wasn’t inside the gymnasium anymore nor was I with someone. Sitting alone in a chair, I heard the door opened, revealing a tall guy, who was Lucas.
He held a cup in his hand and took out something from his pocket, which was very similar to a cigarette. I just wasn’t so sure what it was.
“Hey Francis, whatchu doing all out here?” he asked, smirking. He sat next to me then leaned back, his head against the glass windows.
“N-nothing” I wasn’t so comfortable with him nor did I feel okay just being with him. But I stayed, not wanting to be rude.
Then after we caught a glimpse of a familiar golden blonde hair on a golden dress lip locking with another girl.
“Shit Sabrina” The other girl moaned.
“Goddamn” I heard Lucas say. After the two left immediately, not noticing we were just meters away. I sighed and felt as if I was about to cry. I didn’t even know why. So I pinched myself and bit my lips.
“You all look down tonight. What’s on your mind?” he asked.
‘Sabrina’ I thought. But I stayed silent, not wanting to respond.
Then I smelled something disgusting and funny. An unfamiliar scent that traveled into my nose. I looked at him, his hands holding out something for me.
“Have a hit. It’ll make you forget” I noticed his eyes red, his breath stinks, and his fingers shaking. I shook my head, refusing whatever he was offering to me.
“Okay. Here, have a drink. It’s punch juice. I know jealousy sucks.” he smirked and then handed me a cup. “Don’t worry nothing’s wrong with that. It tastes good”
I looked at him curiously, wondering whether I should trust his words. But he’s friends with Nat right? He couldn’t be bad.
I nodded and took the cup, sipping it. I tasted something different, something bitter, something weird. And it’s what made me kept sipping more until I felt like once I was free.
The next hours, Lucas and I stayed out laughing, telling stupid jokes. I felt like my body light and head high.
“Ain’t alcohol taste great? I drink it everytime your sister rejects. It’s a good painkiller.” he slurred. I gave him a thumbs up and a sloppy grin before I heard my phone ringing.
I stood up feeling wobbly, and I had to support myself against the wall so I could answer the phone.
“Where in the world are you Jessica?” I heard Emmie yell over the phone.
“Wonderland” I giggled.
“We’ve been looking for you. We’re on our way out to the car,” she said sounding worried.
“Okay~ olay~” I slurred. I was already out, noticing the empty street across.
Then I heard her curse out loud. “Fuck are you drunk?” After she asked that, I heard Kristina yelling at Emmie and Nat too.
“What the fuck”
“Em, where you?” I looked at the empty streets but it was too dark to notice anything so I started walking and walking.
“Jesse stay where you are. I know how you’re drunk. Just don’t fucking move.” Em said calmly over the phone.
“Fuck Lucas might’ve given it to her. I saw her go out and shortly after Lucas went out to” I heard Nat say. Then there was loud smack.
“You stupid fucker. We’re going to get in trouble with Dennis. Why didn’t you warn that shithead? I knew he was a drug addict. Stop hanging out with that douche” Kristina yelled.
They kept being loud and annoying so I had to shut it off cause I felt annoyed. So what if I felt like I was high. I actually felt free for once.
Skipping around the sidewalk, I continued to run. It then did my head started making illusions. I imagined the dance earlier. How it was sweet and sad by the end.
Sabrina was in love with Carly. It all made me sense. But it was stupid enough to not register in my head.
And so when I finally thought someone could love me just as how my mother did, it was all a joke.
Maybe I was stuck hanging into the love of my dead mother.
Maybe I should’ve danced with Sarah.
Maybe life was a joke.
Maybe my existence was a joke.
Maybe there’s no such thing as happiness anymore.
And so I cross, and a honk was heard. Then there was no more.
She closed her eyes and silently prayed. She prayed that her daughter would be saved. She prayed that her own family would be saved. And she prayed for the lives of the victims.
And when she concluded her prayer with “Amen”, that’s when the other side of the van started to tip, and her back started to hurt, then there was yelling, and silent after.