Jessica seemed to be distracted. The way her eyes focused on mine made me feel flattered somehow. And it’s funny cause I knew too well when someone was giving me the look of admiration. However, her eyes weren’t filled with lust, unlike others. It was something else. Maybe she was just lost in her thoughts. I didn’t really know.
“Jessica” I called. She didn’t say anything but just continued to stare.
So then I had a plan. “Jessica, if you don’t say something I swear I’m going to tickle you”
Still, she didn’t move or say anything.
Instead of doing something about it, I stared back. And that’s when I notice her. Her truly captivating face and alluring smell entrapped me into some fuzzy, heartwarming trance. She’s pretty. Okay, maybe not pretty. But she’s beautiful. Her similar blue eyes, iridescent and flecked with every shade of light blue. Never have I ever seen the beauty of the ocean apart from her fascinating eyes. They seem to spark interest as it bores into mine. Her natural long eyelashes were as thick as raven feathers, as it flapped whenever she blinks.
I inhaled, feeling nervous as my heart thumped as I took her appearance in. She was too beautiful. I felt like a predator ready to catch its prey. And oh god, her lips. It had that magnetic pull on mine and I couldn’t help but lean closer. The smell of lavender engulfs my nose as I got closer. I was tempted. Tempted to ravish her pink lips and crush those innocent eyes. I wanted her. Whether it was pure attractiveness or lust.
As I got nearer, she showed no signs of rejection, making me feel happy as I looked at her. She made me feel...a different me. But since then I wanted to catch her attention and open up to me.
“Jessica,” I said one more time. I could hear and feel every time she breathes in and out. And it was sexy.
Though her lips weren’t virgin anymore, I wanted her to experience more. But really, I just wanted to kiss her.
Without hesitation, I did. Grabbing both sides of her face, I leaned in and captured her lips as if I was the rightful owner of it. I heard her gasp, making chuckle as I slowly started a dancing motion against our touched lips. Her head turned a bit sideways and somewhere I heard a book fell. But I didn’t want her to become distracted. I then rested my hands on her lap, slowly caressing her thighs through her jeans.
Jessica was stunned. I could tell by the way she responded to my lips. She wanted to protest. I felt her arms attempting to push my body away but I was too determined to make her respond. And slowly, her lips moved slowly.
I smiled, kissing her back with more pressure than before. The kiss was slow and sensual. It was like a lover’s kiss, sweet and gentle as our lips try to memorize each other. Pushing a strand of her hair that got in the way, I then slipped a hand around her waist that she didn’t even notice. Her ragged breathing fuelled my excitement. And just as I was about to take it to the next level, that’s when I heard it.
She moaned, making me stop and pull back with surprised eyes. She too looked like as if she didn’t believe that....that just came from her. Her eyes looked like as if she was dreaming, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and her breathing uneven.
“I...uh..” Her eyes started to dart anywhere, avoiding mine. And before I could resume our moment and touch those lips of hers again, she pushed me back with so much force I stumbled back.
“Woah. Ouch” My head hit the bookshelves, allowing a curse to leave my mouth.
“Sorry” I heard Jessica mutter quickly. I called her after I’ve recovered but all I saw was her retreating figure. She had left me. And after this incident, I figured I wanted more.
I sat on the carpeted floor of the library for about five more minutes, replaying the moment with Jessica earlier. It felt like it was our first kisses. Nah, maybe I’m over exaggerating. But I will for sure teach her more.
“The smile upon my lips, it will surely never die
As I’m waiting here for you, until you’re by my side” I recited. “Jarod Kintz. Hah~ That quote fits me right now.”
Hey at least read quotes. Sabrina one point! I smiled, exiting the library, and having a good mood for the rest of the day.
My heart was hammering against my chest, my breathing labored due to what happened earlier and the fact that I’m tryna run away from it. Sabrina had kissed me. A girl kissed me. Did I like it?
“Dear mother Jesus” I mumbled as I felt the warmness on my cheeks. I was for sure that I was blushing like the summer morning. My hands were shaking. I was too shocked. I mean did she really just kiss me? Or was I dreaming?
‘Whew Jessica calm down’
‘Breathe in. Breathe out’ A routine I do whenever I get too shaky or just feeling nervous or surprised.
Even after a while, my heart wouldn’t stop beating like Nicki Minaj’s super bass. Gah! There’s nothing wrong with kissing a girl, right? Sarah kissed me. Sabrina kissed me. Carly confessed to me.
“Jesus fucking christ... What in the world is going on? Jessica this ain’t real.” I slapped the side of my face, trying to calm myself. “You’re just a fictional character living a fiction life in a fiction book. Yep, you’re definitely having a lucid dream probably”
I sighed. “This is too much.” I sat down the grass by the school’s courtyard and watched afar. I shook my head, throwing the thoughts away and just pulled out a book to read. It was called ‘P.S. I still love you’ by Jenny Han.
I opened the book and removed the bookmark that kept hold of where I left off and started reading. “Sometimes I like you so much I can’t stand it. It fills up inside me, all the way to the brim, and I feel like I could overflow. I like you so much I don’t know what to do with it. My heart beats so fast when I know I’m going to see you again. And then, when you look at me the way you do, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”
This is about love.
This is bad Jessica. You just kissed a girl you have a crush on. You can’t be reading these kinds of book.
“Gaaaah! Why the fuck is this so true?” I raised the book above and hit my head multiple times with it. I decided to stop reading and instead, searched for another book inside my bag.
“Aha!” I fished out John Green’s Paper Towns book and started reading to the part where I left off.
As I read, I managed to push the problems and thoughts away from my mind and imagined the story of the book playing in my head. I love reading so much. It’s like dreaming with our open eyes. It is the perfect entertainment. The book doesn’t need internet nor batteries too long last. I remember Joyce Carol Oates said that “Reading is the sole means by which we slip involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.”
It’s true. I always imagine myself as the main character. If reality stresses you, why not jump into another person’s story? See and learn how they face their own problems and solve their own conflicts. And if you feel as if you’ve learned enough, then simply close the book and continue living your own life.
You are who you are. You own your life. You are the main character in your own story. Just as I am the main character of my own. Every story holds a different plot, just as how each of everyone’s life is different. Different characters face different real-life situations, and each handles their own problem differently.
Your life is your own story. It’s your own decisions and actions that build up the climax and side turns.
But as for my own life, I didn’t know what to do. At times like these, I wish I could just pause and think ahead of how I want my life to go on. But sadly we can’t.
I came across a part of the book that made me stop and think. It read:
“My heart is really pounding,” I said.
“That’s how you know you’re having fun,” Margo said.
My heart pounded. Did I really enjoy kissing Sabrina? But I do remember being nervous and my heart thumping fast and loudly when Sarah kissed me. Was there a difference?
Speaking of Sarah, I needed to talk to her. I never got the chance. But the look on her face made me think that I wanted to tell her that I didn’t start it nor did I even expect that Sabrina would do that.
I just really wanted to see her and make sure that she’s alright.
“Yo,” I heard a deep voice behind me making me turn back. It was John.
“Hi,” I said awkwardly. He smiles and sits next to me.
“What are you doing in here?” He asks. I waved him the book in my hands making him go “A-ha. Nice”
“What’s it about?”
“Solving a disappearance case or something like that” I nonchalantly say while shrugging my shoulder. I didn’t really know how to explain it.
“You’re looking down. Anything wrong?” He puts down his bags and lays on the grass. “I can be a good listener, Jesse.”
“Um... Just some weird things happening in my life” I admitted. I didn’t want to elaborate.
I groaned mentally. How can I say I’m having a hard time what to think about getting kissed by 2 oh glorious girls?
Instead, I told him, “Remembering the incident that happened to me when I was young”
At the mention of the word ‘incident’, he got up and sat in a sitting position while looking at me. His eyes held curiosity. I was for sure he was going to ask for more details.
As predicted, he asked, “What happened?”
Seeing as I needed to speak to someone about it, I told him a quick summary of what happened and being careful about not going overboard with the details.
After he was quiet until he spoke up, “Were you from General Wolfe?”
I looked at him in wide shock. How did he know my school? “Yes. How did you-”
“I’m so sorry. I knew it was you along. What a small world to meet you. I-I have something to confess” he stuttered nervously. I was curious who John was and how did he knew.
“I-..” He took a breathe in and then blurted out, “I saw what happened ”
I was stunned. Shock.
What did he mean?
“Zack was my best friend. H-he was part of the group. They forced me to come with them and I couldn’t say no. I knew what was about to happen but I didn’t do anything, so please....”
I didn’t even notice we were both crying until he said that he was part of them. I stood up, feeling angry all of a sudden, and started gathering my stuff. He kept explaining, telling me that was a long time ago and that he didn’t do anything so it wasn’t his fault. I understood him. But the fact that he didn’t do anything to stop what was going to happen when he knew it along, angers me.
“STOP” I yelled and pushed his hands away. I fast walked, leaving him behind as I felt my tear-stained face. What a small world, huh. How u lucky I was.
The bell had rung but I didn’t go back to school. Instead, I went home, clung to Emmie as I told her what happened, and cried endlessly until I fell asleep.
“Did you get her?” she asked. Her hands played with the grip of the pistol, completely being careful as she held her gun.
“Jason says he saw her on a club.” The boy said and then handed her a piece of paper with the address written on it. She smirked and told him that she’ll be on her own, dismissing her so-called ‘boy slaves’ before jumping in a red Suzuki SV650.
“I’ll call you once I’m finished,” she said, now putting on her bike gloves and helmet.
She started the engine and drove across the streets, while on her way to her destination. She could smell her surroundings mixed with slight gasoline fumes, and the sprayed Axe Instinct on her leather jacket. It was a wild, untamable kind of scent. And she liked it.
Arriving at her destination, a couple of head turned to look at her. Of course, she just had that dangerous aura that lured a lot of people. Her caramel coloured eyes gave a hint of her mysterious personality. Surely she couldn’t deny that even she found herself attractive.
No narcissist comment intended.
She smirked at the teenager girls who gave her a look of jealousy. Removing her leather jacket, she revealed a simple blue tank top under a floral-trimmed utility jacket, along with faux leather moto pants. She easily slipped the gun just under her top and made her way into the entrance while searching for her target.
She easily spots the raven-haired girl drowning herself on alcohol, tear-stained and almost red-eyed. Disguising herself with a pair of sunglasses, she sat two seats away from the girl.
“Give me another one” The girl demanded the bartender. She chuckled lightly, watching how pathetic Sarah was. Her plan was going to go smoothly and easy.
“Ma’am I think you had too much,” The bartender boy said, feeling concerned.
“Shut the fuck up. I’m paying for what I want. Do your job before I blow your head off with my fist.” Sarah angrily said.
She didn’t even know why Sarah was here the first place. Or the fact that why she was drunk and teary. But it didn’t matter. She was going to have her revenge.
Deciding she wanted the job finished now, she got up sat near Sarah. Sarah turned her head to look at her but it seems that her disguise was working, considering she didn’t recognize her.
“Hey, sexy” Sarah smirked and offered, “You want a drink?”
How foolish. How she wishes she could pull out the pistol out of her waistband and finish her job already. But no, not around a lot of people. It was really a good thing that Sarah didn’t recognize her. Her lip was still busted and some of her body still ached from the pain Sarah cost her. But tonight it was going to be different.
She then decides to play around, “Sure.”
Sarah lazily smiled and ordered the same drink. The bartender came shortly after and gave her a drink. Sarah complained and whined about him taking too long.
“So what are you doing here?” she started a conversation. She needed to get Sarah alone somewhere, and starting a conversation is the first step.
“Sulking about a girl” Sarah mumbled then took another swing of the bottle.
She was surprised, hearing that Sarah was crying over some girl.
“What are you doing here?” Sarah asked after.
She bit her help from smiling and shrugged, “Just wanting to have fun”
Sarah smiled and then leaned close. Too close that it went over her comfort zone. Now she was starting to get distracted.
‘You’re here for him’ she thought. She was about to pull away for some space when her phone rang. She excused herself a minute, causing Sarah to shrug but not move away, and then answered the call.
“Nicole, are you done?”
“No shut the fuck up and don’t talk to me. I’m busy.” she immediately ended the phone call hoping Sarah didn’t hear any of it. When she looked up, she was surprised that Sarah was closer than before.
“You wanna dance?” she asked. Her voice so husky and low, she almost cursed herself for being turned on.
“I uh...” Before she could protest, she was dragged by Sarah into the dance floor. It started off awkward. She reminded herself plenty of times that she was here for revenge, but the way Sarah caressed her body and the way she moved her hips, slowly grinding on her lower bottom, made her feel dizzy from these feelings. They continued to dance, rushing back on the counter to drink more beers when the song came to a halt and resumed their dirty dancing.
The thought of revenge shortly disappeared as Nicole found herself slowly enjoying with Sarah. She didn’t even notice herself. Shortly after, Sarah felt hot so she unbuttoned the buttons of her clothing and bit her lips seductively while looking into Nicole’s eyes. All Nicole knew was that she felt turned on, as she felt a pool of wetness form, especially when Sarah sneakily slipped her hands inside her top, slowly feeling her stomach and grinding her lower half into hers.
They both didn’t know what they were doing. It was just two drunk teenager enjoying themselves. While along the rhythm of the beat, Sarah then unexpectedly slipped a hand around Nicole’s waist and whispered, “I want you”
Nicole admitted she was now sexually frustrated by how Sarah teased. Too drunk to function, her brain automatically nods, not even knowing that she was just doing a dirty dance with her enemy.
Shortly after they found themselves lying on the bed, breathing heavily, hands exploring each other bodies, leaving a trail of wet kisses. Their night filled with lust and excitement as they both explore one another. As Sarah poured her sadness over the girl whom she didn’t notice that it was her best friend’s younger sister and while Nicole felt her body healing as Sarah’s lips touched them. It was unreal. Both poured their thoughts and feelings into a rough night.
It was the first time that they felt stress-free.
And after rounds and rounds, they both fell asleep, their legs tangled one another. Nicole had her head resting on Sarah’s chest, sleeping peacefully while Sarah’s hands rested on her bum. Their clothes were all over the floor, and Nicole’s pistol safely tucked inside her jacket, away from them.
Revenge was long gone.
“Maybe there are certain traits or something that must’ve attracted that person to like you,” I said, unsure of what I was talking about. What was I talking about even?
“Do you think there’s anything special about me?” he asked all of a sudden making me gulp.
What can I say?