Leylah was able to stick with me over the week. The others? They ignored me like a plague. But I wasn’t blaming them since all I did was throw them some sarcastic comment that made them look stupid. Just like that one time when Kristina asked me ‘How’s Emily?’ and I gladly replied with ’Well, what about if you ask her instead of me?’. And yes, I bitched. Emmie just laughed at my stories. But who was I to blame? The mother fudger waterfall hadn’t dried up yet. I was already hoping for it to get dry as the Sahara Desert down my pants.
I groaned in agony, clutching my stomach, knowing this pain would go away for 3 more days. Leylah chuckled and continued.
“Right there...” I mumbled. This was stress relieving.
“Where?” she asked, gently moving my hair to the side and hovering over next to me.
“Go up a bit more.” I managed to say. Her fingers were making me shiver in its movements and I couldn’t help but close my eyes as I felt her.
Leylah mumbled something I didn’t hear and continued. “Does it feel good?”
I nodded. Too eagerly.
“Can you go harder?” I requested. The pain was starting to numb.
She moved her fingers and glided them over my hair, putting more pressure. Her fingers slowly made circling motions on my temple, gently pushing to it. She was such an expert at giving a message. Leylah’s mom was a massage therapist and she happened to learn and expertise in her finger work. She had noticed how stress I was and perhaps decided to do something about it. But I wasn’t complaining. I felt like happen with her fingers on me.
Finally feeling comfortable, I told her to stop. “Thank you.”
“I could go on if you want.” She asked, shrugging as if it was no big deal.
I shook my head and smiled. “Nah, you probably got tired.”
Smiling, she turned around to grab our bags and said. “I’ll never get tired of you.”
“Sure.” I rolled my eyes and playfully punched on her shoulders. But I was happy since she was my friend after all. Without her, I’m sure I’d be dreading trying to find a friend who would accept me.
“So, how’re your classes. Have you studied?” We walked together to our next class, side by side. Then out of nowhere, she rested her arms on my shoulders. “Sorry, like you said. My arms did get tired.”
“Nope. Probably going to screw those.” I said, shrugging. It was true. For some reason, I wasn’t as try-hard as I was during the first years of high school. That was probably because, in high school, you get distracted by a lot of things. The amount of stress just builds upon students, leaving them to just give no shiz about their work. I guess you only end up trying hard when you’re in the senior year. However knowing better than others, I knew I had to do well in my exams. I’ve always wanted to become a Computer Forensic Agent or take a Ph.D. and become a doctor or something, even if communicating was not one of my best skills.
“You know you won’t screw.”
“Well, you never know but you’re right,” I said, agreeing. There was no point in slacking. My future relied on my studies.
“Have you ever thought what you’re going to be doing in the future?” I asked, curious as to what she actually wants to do or what kind of job she’s seeking for.
Leylah thought for a moment before deciding. “I’d like to try out being a teacher.”
I smiled. It would surely fit her. Her patience was as thick as a dictionary and she was always genially nice to others, no matter what age group they belong to. She could easily relate and connect with a lot of people. “That’s nice. Have you ever thought what grade you will be teaching?”
“Hmm... maybe elementary? I like kids,” she confessed.
“You want kids?”
She nodded, blushing and looking somewhere else. “Maybe a twin or two.”
That was a cute... dream. I guessed. As we approached her locker to dump her math textbook, we saw Carly who was busily talking over the phone. When she saw us, she waved. I waved back.
“Guys!” she said, approaching us after her call ended.
“Hello.” I greeted. Leylah managed with a “Yo.”
“Damn, I can’t wait for next week!” Carly excitedly announced. It was exams soon, how the hell was she so happy?
“It’s freaking exams, Carly.” Leylah pointed out. I agreed. “You got a date or something?”
“No. I meant my broadcasting team was invited to shadow over a crew and I can’t wait.” She was indeed busy seeing as she typed furiously over her cellular phone. I guess she was into that kind of career. I wonder what Sarah was into. And now that I think about it, I actually did not know what cousins were into. Well not like I was that interested.
“What, you going to be the next iCarly or something?” Leylah asked, chuckling. I laughed too, knowing what she meant. That show was giving me childhood moments.
Carly glared. “No.”
“But I’m sure you’d look a great Miranda Cosgrove.”
I nodded in agreement. “I remember watching her from Drake and Josh.”
Both turned to look at me. “You watch TV?”
I smiled sheepishly. “I wasn’t that of an introvert especially when Emmie started hanging out with me and then made me binge watch them during late junior years. She loves her anime and late night movie shows.”
It was true. Emmie was a heck of a girl when I met her. She was hyper, cheery, active, and just... explosive in a good way. She would bother me when I wanted some peacetime. She would drag me into activities I never once to try, such as participating in track and field. It was embarrassing at first. And when she made me watched movies, I sure knew I wasn’t going to escape. Emmie was like a magnet and I was her paperclip to get attracted to. Sure, I admired her outgoing personality, but what I like more about her was she constantly stick to something. And when she decided to label herself as my best friend, I was even happier, even if I didn’t physically show it, she knew I was glad.
“I disagree. You stay innocent and a good girl Jessica.” Carly pointed her finger at me. I merely chuckled at her.
“Her menstruation personality is basically the old Jesse.” I heard Leylah say. I nudged her.
“They say good girls go bad.” Suddenly I felt someone wrap their arms behind my back and a familiar scent that I truly knew who belonged to. “Hey, peeps.”
Carly removed her attention and looked at Sarah behind me. “Well... hello there.”
Taking her hands off of me, I turned and looked at a pouting Sarah. “Aw, what a bummer. I just wanted a hug.”
“You got a hug. You stole a hug.”
“And, she’s not in herself again. Moving on, Carly can you accompany next week?” She asks.
“Erm... I don’t know yet.” Carly said. I looked at Leylah and she shrugged, not knowing what they were talking about. So instead of engaging in another conversation with them, we decided to leave since we knew that our next class would be yelling if we were one minute late to her class.
With two weeks left before exams, I began to study. I studied because I was motivated. I wanted to do good. But really the main reason was that I wanted to see Jessica. Over the past days, she’s been in the library studying by herself. Sometimes she would be with my cousin Sarah, conflicting a pain in my chest which I did not bother to analyze. So by gathering courage, I managed to approach, now a few meters away from her table. Her facial features brought a portion of happiness inside me when she would constantly furrow her eyebrows in confusion, perhaps not understanding a fraction of her textbook.
I was smart but laziness had brought my grades down. I was fully capable of learning things on my own without having to listen to the lectures. That was something I understood about ever since I began to observe things with my own eyes. I was a visual learner - I learned by seeing and doing, which I exercised and expertise through a sexual intercourse.
“How long have you been standing there?” a voice disrupted me from my thoughts. Something I observed from Jessica was that her usual shyness has slowly faded out ever since Emmie came. I wasn’t too sure if Emmie played a big role on her but they were close and I envied whatever relationship they ever had.
Putting a smile on my face, I advanced toward where she was, then took a seat right across her. “Hello.”
“Hi. How can I help you?” she took her pen and rested it above her right ear.
“I came to apply as your apprentice.” I bit my lip from laughing when she looked at me weirdly.
“You wouldn’t like being under my supervision.” She said. Woah, girl?
“I’m sure I’d like being under you.” I unconsciously replied. It was an automatic response and I wasn’t sure if she understood that I was merely flirting with her remarks. She shook her head and then chuckled.
“I’m not trained to be a mentor. I’m sure I’ll do bad.”
Leaning closer, I whispered. “Then if you want I’ll teach you.”
Red cheeks appeared when Jessica looked somewhere else. Did she understood or was innocence blocking my attempt to at least flirt with her? But who knew anyway? I love seeing her like this.
“I don’t think you can teach me with Physics, can you?” she asked, then passed her notebook towards me.
Shit, that was one subjected I hated.
“So can you please explain how to determine the potential difference between A and B?” she pointed at the diagram below her notes. I looked at it hard, trying to understand. I did not know what it was talking about.
“What potential difference?” I asked, unsure what she was asking.
Shaking her head, she giggled. “I meant the electric potential between these two points.”
Taking the paper out of her hand, I grabbed the pencil from her ear and then dotted a line between the two points, A & B, and then asked for a ruler.
“What do you need a ruler for?” she asked confused. She probably didn’t know what I was doing. Neither did I knew.
“Just give me one.” She took her pencil case, a black case with a hello kitty on it, out of her bag and handed it to me. I grabbed the small ruler and drew a line between the two dotted lines and then measured it.
“An inch and a half.” I finished and then smiled at her. She looked at the paper and me a couple of times before erupting into a fit of giggles.
“That wasn’t what I meant!”
“But you said difference! So they both have a different location on the paper.” I said pointing to the dot where it was higher than the other. “See this one has probably had a greater y-value.”
“This isn’t math. Well, there is math involved but...” she trailed off, still laughing at my own problem-solving.
“I thought you’re good at Physics.” I pointed out.
“I like it but sometimes there is portion of topics in which I do not understand in a snap of a finger. Plus, I missed classes.” she shrugged.
“Why’d you even take Physics?” I huffed, twirling her pencil around. I was bored and she was solving more physics problem in her paper.
“Cause I like to learn and it’s complicated,” she stated, then flipped pages on her Physics textbook.
I groaned. “I only know that the gravity is 9.8 m/s2”
She laughed. “That’s common knowledge. A very important fact which most topics around Physics revolve about.”
“Well, it sure is important. I mean I’m sure I’d like your clothes accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.8 m/s2” I joked.
She blinked then cocked her head sideways. “What?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled, silently laughing at my own sexual joke. She was too innocent and sometimes it wasn’t half fun if she didn’t get it. “Do you mind helping at Math this weekend? Are you taking Pre-Cal 12 right? I could use some help over trig identities.”
“That’s easy though. Have you memorize the trig identities?” she asked.
I knew them but since I wanted her all by myself this week, I decided to lie. “No. I don’t even know their values.”
She took a paper out of her binder and then wrote a couple of questions. I managed to answer them in my head by 10 seconds but lied on getting 4/10.
“You seriously do not know what sin pi is?” she asked in disbelief. It was zero.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Maybe it meant...” I took the pencil then wrote notice me before the question. “Ta-da! Notice me sin pi. It’s a love note~”
She shook her head in disbelief while laughing. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Sorry. I’m one of a kind.” I smiled.
“You should be ashamed. How will your children survive?”
“My wife will go to work for me. I will be the housewife doing the chores.” I said.
“Wife?” she asks. I nodded then added. “I’ll marry someone cute and smart... just like you” She blushed and then cleared her throat.
Grinning, I asked her. “What kind of person are you looking for Jessica? I’m sure you indulged in fantasies when reading a book, yes?”
“Fantasies?” she asked. Well more to herself since she spoke it in a very low audible voice as if trying to get what kind of fantasies I meant to ask.
“I... I don’t know?” She looked down at her lap. “I.. I don’t know,” she repeated again.
Wanting to tease her, “Fantasies... like kissing someone perhaps?” Suddenly I recalled our previous session at her house over the break. It stunned me how bold she became when she kissed me so suddenly and so... passionately. She was fierce, kind of like a lion who will get anything they want by force. And it suddenly scared and excited me when Emmie gave me one of her best cautions.
Don’t anger her. Don’t feed her alcohol. Do not piss her off. If you do, good luck seeing tomorrow.
“Kissing?” she asked innocently. Innocent my ass, I’m sure she knew the definition of kissing after participating breathless activity days ago.
“Yes, you know what I mean.”
“Do you want to do that?" I asked. I have never seen her so confused on her life. It was so funny when she was questioning herself. It was as if she was in some sort of battle inside her brain. And the expression she makes was hilarious.
“I...” she paused.
“Do you want to try again? See if you like it?” I wanted her to say goddamn yes.
I looked around, thankful that this table was isolated on the very corner of the library. Seeing as no one else was going to pass by any minute, I took the opportunity to lift myself up on the table and pull her along with me, tasting her soft lips once again for a brief second. It was just a peck but it was enough to make Jessica speechless and more lost. I just wanted to throw all of her worries away and kiss her much longer.
“You like that?” I smiled, still holding onto her collar. She held her breath, scared while holding onto the edge of the table. I had pulled her to me and it was much easier to get lost in eyes.
Suddenly I became alert and cautious when Jessica ran her tongue, licking her lips and looking at me. She was reading me just as I was reading her. And slowly I began to lean once again but was halted when footsteps were heard a few distance away. I immediately pulled back, and Jessica sat back to her seat, getting lost in her thoughts once again.
Carly came to view when she turned onto the left, near where we were. She didn’t see us, seeing as her back was facing our side and she was too busy trying to reach a book over the top. I excused myself to Jessica silently, just as she excused herself to head to the bathroom, and then approached Carly behind to help her pick the book from the top.
“Here,” I said, giving it to her. She turned to look at me, not saying anything.
Knowing she wasn’t going to bother with me anyway, I began to head back to the table. But I stopped when I heard her mumbled a small “Thank you.”
I turned back, seeing her look at me and asked. “What was that?” I wanted to hear her say. It has been years since we communicated properly and to be honest, I missed her. I missed talking to her and especially being her friend. I knew she was getting along with Leylah and the others but she still refuses to look at me. Our high school years were going to be over soon and I wanted to correct my wrongdoings by doing the right thing. And to apologize was the first step.
“Carly.” I started.
Then suddenly she returned to her own self, glaring. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk,” I said seriously. “I want us to talk.”
“I don’t have time for you.”
Shaking my head, I ignored her stubbornness. “No we need to properly. I want to clarify things and most importantly.” I inhaled and then exhaled to shake off the nervousness. “I want to apologize and tell you something really important.”
“You’re not worth a second of my time Sabrina.” She brushed me off and started walking away when I grab onto her wrist.
“Please,” I asked, my voice raspy.
“Let go of me.” she removed my hand away from her furiously and hurriedly began to leave. But I kept not letting her go. I wanted to correct our relationship and this time I wasn’t going to let her go. I wanted her attention to me, I wanted her to forgive me. I want her back in my life and most importantly, I needed her back by my side.
I wanted Carly back in my life and so I told her. “I’ve always loved you.”
Next Chapter Preview...
“Is there a character named Peter Pan?” Again, she shrugged. Maybe she wasn’t able to decipher what the story was all about. I frowned.
“How about Tinkerbell, you know that fairy?”
She stopped walking causing me to halt in my tracks as well. “Nope. There are no main characters here. Each character tells her own story, I think. The story is about seven girls who wander off their minds and then woke up in a fantasy world of Neverland.”