Alpha Deacon

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Chapter 21

VIOLET

“Alpha who now?” I ask, clueless. I’ve never heard the name Nash out of Deacon’s mouth before. “Alpha Nash. He’s a good friend of ours. Has been since childhood. His pack is the closest one to ours. I’m going to call him and ask for his help. I’m damn good at tracking, but if Deacon doesn’t want to be found, even I can’t find him. But, Nash might be able to. He’s an alpha, so he has better senses than me. There’s a possibility that he can find Deacon.” Cage informs me, and I try not to let hope fill me. He said possibility, not guarantee.

“Ok.” I say, unsure. “Don’t worry. Nash is a great guy. He will help, I know he will.” Jacey calms my unease. Cage pulls out his phone and dials a number. “Hey, Nash, it’s Cage. I need a favor.” He speaks into the phone as he leaves the room. Two minutes later he walks back in with a grin. “He’s coming.” He announces and we all smile. “Good, when?” I said. “He’ll be here in about twenty minutes, give or take.” Cage says. “Ok. So, now what? What if he can’t even find him? What if Deacon is out there hurt somewhere? What if he’s too weak and that’s why he won’t respond to you guys? What if-” Amber cuts me off by hugging me. By now I have tears in my eyes.

“That isn’t what happened. I promise you. I know him. He’s fucking strong, he can take care of himself. I’ve seen him take on ten rogues and win. He’s just blocking us out, that’s all. Don’t worry. I know he’s fine.” Cage tries to comfort me, but all I do is cry more. “H-how do you know?” I stutter out through tears and the lump in my throat. “I just do.” I wipe away the tears and sniffle.

Please Deacon, be ok.

“What if Alpha Nash can’t find him? Then what?” I ask, sniffling. “Honestly? I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait for Deacon to come back on his own then. But I don’t think that will happen. I think we’ll find him. If not today, we will keep looking until we do. If I have to call in every Alpha I know to help look, I will. Nash, Beau and I know how he thinks. We’ll find him.” Cage said. “How many Alpha’s do you know?” Amber questions. And would it really take them all to find him?

“I’ve met them all, but I’m friends with five, including Deacon and Nash.” Cage tells us. “How many Alpha’s are there?” Beau answers this time. “A lot.”

“Which ones are you friends with? And would they help if needed?” I ask, curious -more like desperate. And will we really need all of them to find him? Oh my God. How bad does Deacon want to stay hidden? If we have to call them all, then would we be able to find him?

“Alpha Liam, Alpha Weston and Alpha Gabriel. And yeah, they would all definitely help if we needed. Unless for some reason they couldn’t leave their pack at the moment. But I doubt we’ll even need to call them. Plus, I don’t think Deacon would be pleased if we treated this like a manhunt. He wouldn’t want everyone to know he ran. Nash is an exception since we’ve known him forever. I mean, we’ve known Liam, Weston and Gabe for years too, but we need to keep this quiet. Like I said, Deacon wouldn’t be happy if everyone knew.”

I can understand that. To him he would probably think leaving makes him look like a coward. It doesn’t. He’s just hurt, because of me, so he left to get away for a while. He and I are a lot alike. When I was scared, hurt and overwhelmed, I ran. He’s hurt, so he left. I understand it completely. No question why him and I are mates.

But the underlying guilt because it was my fault he left weighs heavily on me. He left his pack for days because of me. And I couldn’t feel worse about it. They need him, his bar and restaurant needs him, I need him. I never realized just how much I needed him until I heard he was missing. The fear that flew through my body like a bullet and gripped my heart was nearly crippling. I almost couldn’t fathom how heart squeezing the fear was, -is.

And the fact that he has yet to return just makes it even worse. What if he just says, ‘fuck it’ and doesn’t come back? Then what? I’d literally be hollow inside without him. The shell of my former self. He’s my mate, my soulmate and I can’t be happy without him. I need him more than I need anything else. But he can’t just leave. Right? I mean, his pack needs him, he’s the Alpha. He can’t just abandon his pack. Can he? God, I hope not. I will look for him for as long as it takes. I don’t care if it takes forever. I love him, and we will be together again.

And when I find him, I’m going to apologize, tell him I love him, then never let him out of my sight again. If I have to tie him to a chair to keep him in my sight, I just might do it. At least when I ran I didn’t have any responsibilities! He has a whole pack to look out for! And his B&R too! What was he thinking!? I mean, yeah, Cage is taking care of things, but still! And what does his pack think? He’s on vacation? Gee, the Alpha’s on a mighty vacation and we randomly have a few in the know search parties just wandering around for fun. Yeah, that sounds perfectly logical. Not.

“Well, I don’t give a flying fuck what Deacon doesn’t want right now. If I have to tell every pack in the state that he’s missing in order to find him, I will.” I warn them, dead serious. If I have to alert every pack in the world to find him I will. They nod, understanding. “And I wouldn’t care if he was pissed or not as long as we found him. I just need him. I don’t care if he’s pissed. I need to find him or I’m gonna go crazy.” I admit, a lump in my throat once again. “I swear to God we will find him Violet. No matter how long it takes. And I know him, even if we can’t find him, he’d come back. He wouldn’t just abandon his pack.” Cage reassures me and I take a deep breath. “When will Alpha Nash get here?”

Cage checks the clock hanging on the wall. “In about, fifteen minutes give or take.” That seems like an eternity. “What are we supposed to do while we’re waiting? Sit and twiddle our thumbs?” I ask sarcastically. Cage gives me a blank look. “No, play angry birds.” He replies back just as sarcastically and I’m torn between smacking him or applauding him for throwing my sarcasm back at me. Amber looks amused. She knows people normally don’t have responses for my sarcasm. She knows I speak fluent sarcasm.

I glare, but my lips twitch into a small smile. “Ass.” I mumble to myself, but with Amber’s close proximity to me and Cage, Jacey, Nora and Beau’s wolf hearing, they all heard me. They all look amused and chuckle, but Cage looks offended. Although I can see the mirth in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something when his eyes fog over. Huh?

Suddenly, he grins. “That was Dare, a patrol wolf. Nash just crossed our border and is about five minutes away.” I sit up straighter, suddenly alert and anxious. Five minutes is short but still feels like hours. And exactly five minutes later, Cage and Beau leave the room to greet him and bring him in.

They walk back into the room and following after them is a extremely attractive guy with an air of authority around him. You can tell he screams power and dominance, just like Deacon does. No one compares to Deacon in my eyes, but I’m not blind. This guy is gorgeous. He has spiked-ish medium brown hair, brown eyes, sun-kissed skin and is well built. He has that perfect sculpted jawline. He’s wearing a white V-neck and blue jeans with combat boots on. I look to my right and see Amber practically drooling at the sight. I elbow her slightly in the ribs and she snaps out of her lust filled haze.

“Focus!” I whisper/hiss and she nods. “Nash, this is Violet, Deacon’s mate and her best friend Amber. Violet, Amber, this is Alpha Nash.” Cage introduces us, and I stand, shaking his hand that he held out. “Nice to meet you Alpha Nash. Thank you so much for coming.” I sound so formal, but I’m so thankful for his presence that I don’t care. “Absolutely. Deacons a good friend. And please, just call me Nash. You’re a Luna, no need to be so formal.” Nash smiles, and I smile back. Next Amber shakes his hand, smiling. “For you as well. Just call me Nash.” He tells Amber. “Hi, nice to meet you. And yeah, thanks for coming. I hope you can find him. Violets going to go crazy until he’s back.” Amber tells him, glancing at me sympathetically and I nod. No bother denying it.

“We’ll find him.” Nash says confidently and it makes me feel a little bit better at how sure he sounds about it. “Alright, let’s head out everybody.” Cage instructs and we all follow him out the back door leading to the woods. They shift, and again I’m on Cage’s back and Amber’s on Beau’s. Nash, Cage and I are in the front of the group, and Beau, Nora and Jacey are right on our tails. Nash is a large brown wolf, that’s the same color as his hair. He is larger than Cage, probably the same size as Deacon is actually. I’ve noticed the higher the rank in the pack, the larger and stronger the wolf. And he is definitely massive. And you can feel the power radiating off of him in waves. No question that he’s an Alpha.

His nose is to the ground, sniffing. I’m assuming he’s trying to catch Deacon’s scent. I hope he has better luck than we had. They all said they could barely smell him and it was days old. I just hope Nash’s sense of smell is stronger than Cage’s. But like Cage said, Nash is an Alpha and his senses are stronger, so hopefully he can find and track Deacon’s scent, even if it is days old. And if he can’t, I hope he can find some sort of covered up trail Deacon left behind. And if he can’t, I will cry.

“Cage, have you tried mind-linking Deacon at all today?” I ask him, looking down at his wolf head. He shakes his large head, and then his eyes fog over. “Please respond Deacon.” I whisper to myself, worried. Cage looks back at me and his eyes are clear again. “Did he respond?” I question, although I am pretty sure I already know the answer. Cage hesitates before shaking his head. I knew that would be the answer, but disappointment still hits me hard. “Jacey, can you try? Maybe he’ll answer you.” I say, but even I can hear the emptiness and hopelessness in my voice. She nods and her eyes fog over.

After a minute or two, her eyes clear and she shakes her head. Then her eyes fog over again. After two minutes they’re clear and a happy yip like sound escapes her. I look at her like she’s nuts and ask, “What happened? Why did you yip?” She bounces slightly and yips again. Cage, Nash, Nora and Beau look at her and she barks. “Oh my God! What is going on!? I don’t speak wolf!” I nearly shout, annoyed with their antics.

They all look at me. “Did,” I start, swallowing in nervousness, “did Deacon respond?” Jacey nods her big head and I have never been so happy to hear something in my life. Tears started pooling in my eyes just because I now know he’s alive at least. “Oh my God. What did he say? Is he ok? Where is he!?” I shout at the end, impatient and wanting to know where my mate is. And yes, I’ve accepted the whole werewolf, mate, Luna thing completely. She looks at me like I’m dumb, then goes behind a tree to shift. Walking back out in human form -and thankfully clothed- she looks at me and answers my questions. “He finally responded to me. He didn’t when I mind-linked him, he responded after a solid two minutes. He’s fine, he isn’t hurt, but he didn’t tell me where he is. All he told me was, and I quote, ‘I’m fine Jacey. Stop worrying’. Then he blocked me out again. I didn’t even have a chance to tell him your practically dying out here worried sick about him.”

“Try again! Push harder! Just break through his walls and telling him how sorry I am and I need him! Make him come home!” I cry, and Jacey and the others look pained. But she nods. “Come on guys, let’s keep moving. I’m gonna continue like this in case he answers so I can tell Violet and Amber what he says.” We all nod and the massive wolves start walking again. “Wait, Jacey hop on behind me. You don’t need to walk into a tree.” I say, and Cage lies down so his mate can hop onto his back behind me. She does and grips his fur as he stands. I look back to see her eyes fogged over again in mind-link. I just pray Deacon doesn’t keep blocking her out.

“Stubborn asshole.” Jacey mutters, and I’m assuming that means he won’t answer. I sigh. I scan the area around us, although I doubt I’ll see anything if the wolves don’t. It’s been nearly two hours now, and the only stroke of luck we’ve had was when he answered Jacey for a minute. “Just answer me you stubborn Alpha!” She shouts, startling me and nearly making me fall off Cage’s back. I grab his fur to keep myself grounded and Jacey grabs my arm to steady me. I glare back at her and she gives me a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” She mumbles and I roll my eyes. “Geez! Warn us next time!” Ambers yells, and I’m guessing she almost fell off too.

I groan. I’ve been growing more and more worried and annoyed. I’m worried about him and the fear of never seeing him again, and I’m annoyed he’s so damn good at covering his tracks. Well, I guess it’s a good thing in a dangerous situation, but now it’s just a royal pain in the ass. Then a thought occurs to me. “Hey Nash, got anything?” I ask the serious looking Alpha in front of me. His ears are straight up, and he looks alert as he nods his head slightly, then takes off into a sprint. Cage, Beau and Nora don’t hesitate to follow suit, quickly sprinting after him making Jacey, Amber and I grip onto their backs to remain on them and not go flying into a tree.

I yelp and hold on tighter when Cage effortlessly jumps over a log, nearly making me bang my head against his as I fall forward slightly when he lands. “Cage! There are two people on your back, remember!? Be more careful please or you’re gonna throw us off.” I yell over the sound of the wind in my ears. Cage is sprinting pretty fast, but I know it’s not his full speed. Not even close. I can tell.

“What is Nash after? Does he know where Deacon is?” I yell back to Jacey, turning my head slightly so she can hear me better. I see her shrug out of the corner of my eye. “Possibly.” She yells back and I hold onto the sliver of hope that he does. We follow Nash for another five minutes or so at a sprint, until we come to a clearing. I don’t recognize it at all, having never been here. I look around, but don’t see any sign of Deacon at all.

“His scent is slightly stronger here. Newer. He was here not too long ago. Probably to catch a deer or something. There are a lot around here.” Jacey tells me and I scrunch my nose. “You guys go around catching poor innocent deer and eating them?” I ask, horrified. She nods, looking amused at my disgusted look. “Ew.” Amber says, and I nod in agreement.

“Well, how new is his scent and does it mean he’s here?” I ask hopefully glancing around in hopes of seeing him. She shakes her head, making my hope die down. “His scent is at least a day old. He’s not here, that’s for sure. How close or far he is though, I can’t tell. But, Nash might be able to.” I look at Nash to see his nose in the air. He looks to be inhaling deeply, trying to catch Deacon’s scent better. Then he barks and takes off again, with us right behind him. “DEACON!” I yell at the top of my lungs. Behind me, Jacey yelps. “Jesus Violet! You just blew my ear drums!” She mutters, wincing. I give her a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” She gives me a blank look then rolls her eyes.

“DEACON! For the love of God, ANSWER ME!” I shout, as loud as I possibly can. This time, Jacey covered her ears, and the wolves flattened theirs to their heads. I’m even starting to hurt my own ear drums. “Oh, come on! ANSWER ME DEACON! PLEASE!” I call out to him, but I get no reply. It’s barely noon, but it feels like it’s been forever. Nash has gotten us much closer to finding Deacon, and for that I am immensely grateful. Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back. I will not cry again, not right now at least. I’m trying so damn hard to remain strong, but my strength is wavering.

“DEACON YOU MORON! ANSWER US!” Jacey screams, and now I know how her ears felt. “Your mate is worried sick about you, ya idiot!” She continues shouting, and this time it’s me covering my ears. But I appreciate it nonetheless. “Deacon! Hello!” Amber starts now, and I smile at her. We continue chasing whatever lead Nash has, while calling out to Deacon the whole way not even knowing if he’s within hearing distance of us. Nash howls, and Cage, Beau and Nora follow suit, howling away. Why, I have no idea. “What are they...” My sentence trails off, as I look back at Jacey for an explanation. “They are calling the stubborn idiot.” is her wonderful explanation.

“Ok.” I mutter, still not understanding wolf language. After ten minutes of not hearing a howl or bark in reply, they try again. No answer. Oh come on! Five minutes later, they try again. Barking, howling, and yipping away. Nothing. Jesus Christ! I thought I was stubborn! At this point, I don’t know if he just can’t hear us or if he is just ignoring us case he doesn’t want to be found.

Then we arrive somewhere that seems vaguely familiar. And it takes me seconds to realize why. We are near the hidden lake Deacon took me to on or first date. We are about five minutes away from it, and I want to go. “Hey, Nash.” I call, and he turns his head to look at me. “Please continue going straight until you reach a lake.” I say nicely and he looks unsure but nods and goes the way I told him. “Why are we going where you and Deacon had your first date? Won’t it make you sad-” She cuts herself off. I’m confused as to why when I see her tip her head up slightly and sniff. Her eyes light up and she grins like the Cheshire cat. I’m a little worried. “What?” I ask uneasily. Her grin widens. “I can smell him. And its not old either. He’s close.” I gasp, then look around frantically.

I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I think of the lake in the first place? After a few minutes we reach the lake and I see all of them sniffing the air. “He’s here, somewhere. And if he’s not, he was very recently.” Jacey informs me and I slide off of Cage’s back, landing softly on the dirt. Jacey and Amber follow suit and we look around although there’s not many places to search. There really isn’t anywhere to hide.

The table is long gone, but I can remember exactly where is sat. I walk over to the spot where we ate that night and felt a tear finally slip from my eye. I close my eyes as more tears come. I miss him so much. If we don’t find him today I don’t know what I’ll do. I might just go crazy if I have to go one more day without him. It’s been almost a damn week. But three of the days alone were my fault. And I realized my mistake too late. If I hadn’t of run from him, he wouldn’t be hiding from all of us right now. I blame myself entirely. It’s my fault my mate is missing, my fault his pack doesn’t have their Alpha, my fault Cage doesn’t have his best friend, and my fault Jacey is missing her brother.

I drop to my knees as the sadness overwhelms me and let the tears fall. “Fuck, this is all my fault.” I know I’m wallowing in self loathing, but it is my fault. Amber, Jacey and Nora walk over to me. Nora had shifted back into human form and was fully dressed, and they all looked at me with sympathy in their eyes. “It’s not your fault. Do you understand me?” Jacey says, softly, gently. I shake my head, crying more. “It is my fault! He wouldn’t of left if I hadn’t of been scared of him! He probably thinks I hate him! I don’t! I love him more than anything in the world and he thinks I hate him!” I cry, running my hands through my hair.

“It is NOT your fault Violet. He’s the idiot who chose on his own free will to leave. You didn’t make him, got it?” Jacey says, more firmly this time. Amber and Nora nod in agreement. I nod, although I don’t agree with them. They seem suspicious, but let it go.

The guys had shifted back as well, and somehow they all found clothes to change into. They are all looking around, searching everywhere for any sign of Deacon and coming up short. I stand up and dust the dirt and grass off my butt, then walk over to the lake. I see the fish swimming about in the clear water. Looking at the water I remember swimming in it with Deacon, and how far things had gone. I smile a little, remembering the throb he caused between my legs on more than one occasion. And now I’m just wondering if I’ll ever get to see his face again. I know they can smell him, but I don’t see him anywhere.

Where the fuck is he? He has to be here, or at least close. I mean, they smell him really strongly here, so he has got to be close. Right? “Can you still smell him?” I ask no one in particular. “Yeah, I can.” Nash answers, walking over to us. “He’s nearby, that much I know for certain. Where though, I can’t answer.” Nash tells us and I jump up, alert. “He’s close?” I say, needing confirmation. He nods. I scan my surroundings wide-eyed. I don’t see him, but I’m not going to stop looking until I do. “Do you think he knows we’re here?” I quire and they all look at me like I’m stupid. “What?” I say, annoyed.

“He’s a werewolf Violet. And an Alpha. Of course, he knows we’re here. He probably smelled us a while back and I can almost guarantee he hears us.” Cage says, and now I feel stupid. No wonder why they looked at me like I’m an idiot. “But, if he hears us and can smell us, why is he still hiding? Doesn’t he realize how much we all miss him and need him?” I ask, my lip wobbling.

“I don’t know Violet. He’s an Alpha, he’s probably waiting to make a dramatic entrance.” Jacey says, and I can tell she’s trying to cheer me up. I barely crack a smile but Amber and Nora giggle. Nash on the other hand looks slightly offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks and Jacey smirks. “Alpha’s are all about attention. You know that.” He looks shocked until Jacey starts laughing, and he shakes his head, chuckling.

“Brat.” He mutters chuckling and she grins. Cage moves closer to her and wraps an arm around her waist. “Mine.” He mutters, and she rolls her eyes. As does Nash. “She’s like a little sister to me and you know it.” Nash says.

I’m starting to get hungry at this point. “Someone please hand me a backpack.” I said. Beau hands me one and I reach inside, pulling out a granola bar and a Gatorade. Then I hand the backpack to Amber so she can get some too. Ripping the wrapper open, I take a large bite of my granola bar. I finish it in less than a minute, and I’m still really hungry. “Can you hand me another one?” I ask and Nora hands me two. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Your stomach has been growling for twenty minutes. I can tell you’re starving.” I nod, and open up my second granola bar.

I finish them both and feel better. I’m not full, but it will tide me over for a while. We’re all sitting down on the grass now. I guess we’re taking a break. I’d argue, but they have been walking and sprinting for hours and deserve a rest.

No one is talking, it just somewhat tense silence. The pain of missing Deacon is hitting us all. But it’s worse for me. It’s like I can’t function without him. He’s everything to me and I didn’t realize that until I knew he was missing.

I always knew how much he meant to me, but I just didn’t realize I was taking advantage of it. You really don’t know how much something or someone means to you until they aren’t there. And with Deacon being missing I realized just how much I need him. I am such an idiot.

I just hope he comes back to me.

All of a sudden someone speaks, sounding slightly irritated. “The idiot knows we’re here. He’s just hiding from us. He wasn’t here when we arrived, but I think he’s here now.” Nash says and Cage and Beau nod.

I jump up. “Where!?” I all but shout, and they shrug. “I dunno. Close.” Cage tells me and I give him an annoyed look. “I dunno? Really?” I say, sarcastically. He shrugs again. “We can’t pinpoint his exact spot Violet. We just know he’s close. Most likely hiding in the shadows of the trees right now watching us.” Well, that’s creepy on so many levels.

“Well, that’s just creepy.” Amber voices my thoughts exactly. If I wasn’t so agitated I would’ve laughed. I start scanning the trees, but I don’t see anything but the damn trees. I look as hard as I can and search as far as my human eyes can see, but there’s nothing. I’m starting to doubt their senses after five minutes go by and I don’t see anything. I’m really starting to hate trees and useless bushes when I see it.

A large black form in the corner of my eye. I turn my head and see a large, majestic looking, powerful black wolf standing ten feet from me, staring directly at me. I don’t even have to ask to know it’s him.

“Deacon,” I breathe, tears of utter relief forming in my eyes.

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