VIOLET (Starting one hour earlier, before end of last chapter)
Leaning on my car, is Danielle, with that stupid smirk plastered on her face. “Well, well, well, it’s about time, bitch.” Danielle says in her high pitched bitchy voice. “I have been waiting out here for ten minutes.” She fake pouts, and honestly she looks like a dying fish gasping for air.
What Chad sees in her is beyond me.
“Oh, boo who, why don’t I play a tiny violin for you.” I mock her, but her stupid look doesn’t falter. “Get away from my car, you bitch. I want to go home.” I demand, and shove her off my car to which she stumbles in her slutty seven inch heels and falls to the ground with a shriek.
“Oops, sorry. My bad.” I smirk and she glares up at me. This just makes me smirk wider. This is the second time I have pushed her down.
“What? Is this your M.O.? Pushing people down? Or is it just me?” Danielle asks me in a clearly irritated tone, as she pushes herself up and wipes the parking lot dirt off her.
I pretend to think about it and tap my chin with my finger, “Hmm, well, pushing people down is fun, but, yeah, it’s just you. I don’t know, you just tend to bring out the bitch in me.”
“The feelings mutual.”
“I’m leaving now.” I inform her, then pull my keys out of my purse. When I go to unlock my car, she yanks the keys from my hand and tosses them into the nearest bush lining the parking lot.
“What the fuck!” I shout at the top of my lungs, completely outraged, pissed, and in disbelief. Who the fuck takes someone’s keys and tosses them into a fucking bush! Bitch! I look at her to see her lips pulled into a evil smirk, her blue eyes glinting with mirth. “What the hell is your problem!? I am the one who should hate you! You slept with my boyfriend, not the other way around, so what the hell is your deal you psychotic bitch!?”
“You are my problem. Chad is mine, so back off. I satisfy him, you don’t, he wants me. So just let him get over you, if he even has to, with me. Then he will just want me. So leave him alone.” Danielle demands with a snarl in her voice. So that’s what this is about? She wants him all to herself? Fine by me, all I want of Chad now is a friend, not a boyfriend. I can’t help but give a small humorless laugh and she looks incredulous. “You can have him. He hurt me, with your help. So go for it, if you want a date a guy who you can’t trust. If he even wants you as more than just an easy fuck. Which is all you are, BTW.”
The look on her face is priceless. If I had a camera, I would’ve taken a picture and hung it on my wall as a dartboard.
“What? Can’t handle the truth? That you are just a bar whore who’s an easy lay and nothing more. You will never, ever, be more to him than a girl who spreads her legs for him and to every guy who looks her way. I bet you are a breeding ground for STD’s. I honestly feel a little bad for Chad. He might want to get checked. And you, well, I feel bad for your future children when they find out what a whore their mom is. And I bet those tacky ass lips of yours have been all over so many guys dicks that you can swallow a big stick popsicle whole.” I throw at her meanly with a large smirk. I see her face is a mix of anger and sadness, which gives me great satisfaction. She sees the truth in my words, she just doesn’t want to admit it.
“What? See the truth in my words? Does it bother you that all you are is a sex toy? I bet Chad doesn’t even know your last name. And I bet you have had so many STD’s that people say they all came from you.” I taunt evilly, edging her on. I want to hurt her, I want to piss her off, I want her to feel how I feel. Unlovable. Chad cheating on me and Ryker leaving me when I was fifteen affected me. Chad way more than Ryker did, but they still both affected me deeply. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone. If I am so easy to leave or cheat on, what do I have to do to keep someone? I want to be the type of girl guys fight to keep, not run away from. I want them to lust after me, and to try to get me, and to not ever let me go or leave me or hurt me.
She is opening and closing her mouth like a fish, and it looks so stupid I want to laugh. “Cat got your tongue?” I mock, and she abruptly shuts her mouth.
“That, that is so not true. Chad wants me, I know he does. Because he slept with me and not with you!” Danielle says back, smirking. “He didn’t sleep with me because I told him no. I am waiting, it’s not because he didn’t want it. Believe me, he tried to fuck me, but every time I said no because I am not a whore like you are!” I retort, and by now we have caused a scene. People are stopped in the parking lot on the way to their cars, and they are all now blatantly staring at us in curiosity, probably waiting to see who will swing the first punch.
“Not my fault you are an innocent virgin who is too scared to spread her legs! If you really loved him, you would’ve pleased him every single day. In more ways than one. You should’ve at least gotten on your knees for him. But you wouldn’t even do that! It’s your fault he fucked me! Yours!”
Well, the crowd probably just has to keep watching. At this rate, Danielle is going to end up on the ground again, with a broken limb.
“Fuck off! Just because I didn’t do any of that doesn’t make it ok that he cheated on me! It’s not my fault! It’s his! And yours!” I yell, tears threatening to fall now. But there is no way in holy hell, that I will cry in front of her. I will not let her know she has gotten to me, or at least as much as she has.
Her lips curled into an evil snarl, “No, it’s your fault. You don’t know how to make a man happy. Every guy you love leaves you, and it’s all your fault. If you would just learn to make him happy, they wouldn’t all abandon you. All you are is the good girl they want to date so they can say they can. You don’t have the slut, kinky, bad girl they want in you. You. Are. A. Loser.”
Wow, ok, that hurt. But I am not going to let her know that. “I’m not a loser. As for you though, all you are is the bad girl they want for a while so they can say they fucked you like you are a competition. Who can fuck the slut first. You are nothing but a distraction until they find someone real to love, who is more than just sex. You. Are. A. Slutty. Distraction.” I shoot back, holding back my tears, from what she said to me. I already know deep down it is my fault he cheated on me, he said so himself. If I had slept with him, he wouldn’t of cheated on me.
She slapped me. Hard. But not hard enough to really affect me. My head flew to the side slightly, but not much. I grab my stinging cheek with my hand and gape at her as she smirks, but I can see in her eyes what I said messed with her big time. Good, at least we both got to each other. I feel unlovable, and she just rubbed it in.
“I don’t even know why I bothered. Chad is done with you, he basically announced it when he fucked me eight times. You are just his girl best friend who he wanted to date to get in your pants. He couldn’t, so he cheated. It’s obvious.” Danielle rubs in and I push my tears back. Why does this girl have it out for me? She is the one who slept with a guy in a relationship, not me. I have done nothing to deserve this shit.
I walk toward the bush and crouch down to begin my search for my car keys. Bitch. After about five minutes, I find them and stand up, all the while Danielle has been waiting behind me with her arms crossed and a scowl.
“What did he ever see in you. You are so, unlovable.” Danielle drawls out slowly, evilly, and her scowl is replaced with a smirk and one lone traitorous tear slips out that I wipe away furiously.
I unlock my car, open my door and get inside. All the while Danielle is glaring daggers at me. Apparently, she isn’t quite done with this conversation, because just as I go to reverse out of my parking spot, she steps behind my car. WTF!?
I roll down my window, stick my head out and say lowly and threateningly, “Move you bitch, or so help me I will back over you.” I see panic cross her face for a second before it’s replaced with a calm façade. I shrug, fine, if she wants to try me, let her. I take my foot slightly off the break and tap her enough to push her back a step. “Move.” I tell her again and she smirks. I take my foot off the break more and it’s enough to knock her over. I smirk when she shrieks as she falls. I put my car in park and get out, then grab her hair and pull her away from my car.
Our audience has grown by at least five people, and most looks amused or concerned. There are a couple people who are videoing this, huh, last night bar fight flashback just popped into my head.
Once I drop her on the ground, and she lands with an ‘oomph’, I run back and hop in my car again, then reverse out quickly and speed out of the parking lot.
When I am almost there, I realize where I am heading. Not home. I’m heading toward Deacon’s Bar and Restaurant. The hell?
How did I drive this close to the place and not realize until now that I was heading the opposite direction of my apartment?
I pull into a random parking lot, and park. I mean, I am pissed and a drink sounds nice, but there are a few problems.
Problem one: I am eighteen, so I am underage and can’t buy a drink.
Problem two: What will I say to Deacon? I was a mess last night, and I probably looked like a mess too.
Problem three: Deacon is the hottest guy I have ever seen and when I look at him I forget about Chad and just want him. But I don’t want to get hurt again.
And Deacon, who I can tell is a majorly badass bad boy, will definitely break my heart. And that’s the last thing I need.
Fuck it. I am halfway there anyway. Plus, I want to go, I want to see Deacon again. But I will never tell him that. He doesn’t need anything to amp up his -I’m sure already huge- ego.
I pull out my phone, and look up the new number in my contact list. Deacon.
ME: Hey Deacon, it’s Violet. Your bar open now?
It took him less than a minute to reply.
DEACON: Hell, yeah.
I smiled. It seems like he wants to see me, at least, I hope he does.
ME: Gr8. I’m on my way.
I reply, then put my car in drive and leave the parking lot, continuing on my way to Deacon’s bar. The whole way I play my X Ambassadors CD.
It takes about five minutes, since I was already so close to it before I realized. I park my Mustang close to the door and think over my decision about coming here for about ten minutes, then remember I already told Deacon I was coming here and I groan. This is going to be so awkward. It’s not like I can just text him saying never mind and take off out of the parking lot without being noticed. Hell, he probably already saw my car pull up for all I know!
Plus, I looked terrible last night all crying and angry. And my ex caused a huge scene and damaged the place. I feel terrible. I would offer to help, but I am not paying for damage Chad caused. Fuck no. I’m not rich, I can’t afford it. Plus it’s not my responsibility to pay for anything Chad ruins. His mess, he pays for it. And the bikers too, obviously.
I hope they aren’t here. They were gigantic and scary.
It’s about one thirty now, and it is too early for a drink, and the whole underage thing is a huge issue. I can’t just say, ‘Hey, I’m underage but I’m in a bad mood so give me alcohol’, they’d kick me out or call the police. Probably the latter. And the last thing I need is Amber bailing me out of jail and my parents would kill me.
I pull down my visor and check my makeup in the mirror. My mascara has run slightly from my crying earlier, so I wipe the drops away from my under eyes and pull out my mascara that I keep in my purse. I quickly reapply it and some more concealer on my under eyes, then a swipe of like an almost translucent pink lip gloss.
A knock on my window startles me and I jump, then put my hand on my erratically beating heart. I look to my left to see Deacon’s friend Cage standing there, trying his hardest to hold back his laughter. I roll down my window and look at him expectantly. He bursts, and his laughter comes out in loud booms. I stare at him blankly until he calms his laughter, then I raise an eyebrow in question. “Yes?” I ask, slightly irritated that he scared the crap out of me and he smirks. “How long were you planning on sitting out here in your car listening to ‘Unsteady’ instead of coming inside?” Cage asks me with that sexy smirk still in place and I blush.
“Um, how long has it been?” I ask stupidly, while blushing. Cage looks at his watch. “Ten minutes.” He answers, biting back another laugh. “That’s how long I planned on sitting.” I answer jokingly, as I unbuckle my seatbelt. Cage nicely opens my door for me once I turn off my car and roll up my window. I get out, lock my car then put my keys in my purse. I walk beside him toward the door, nerves eating at me.
“So, ugh, where’s Deacon?” I ask, nervously biting my lip and I can tell my blush intensified. “Inside. He’s waiting to talk to you actually. He want’s to know how you are, since last night wasn’t great.” Cage tells me, and I feel myself smile.
“Jacey is a little upset about her crazy first impression, by the way. She think’s you think she’s nuts. You don’t think she’s nuts, right?” Cage informs then asks me and I look at him like he grew two heads. “I know she’s not nuts. She was drunk, it was obvious.”
Cage smiles at me in what looks like relief and then opens the door letting me inside first, and I smile in thanks. I see the big TV is playing football, and there is a small but rowdy group enjoying it with beers in hand. Only one pool table is full right now, and the bar only has four people. Good, it’s not crowded yet. But something’s missing. Or someone. I don’t see Deacon anywhere. Where is he? Cage said he was inside, pretty much waiting for me, so, where the hell is he?
Cage leads me over to the bar and I take a seat on one of the many barstools. The same bartender from last night is here and serving what looks like an already very drunk middle aged woman.
“So, when Jacey finds out you’re here, she is going to be trying hard to make a better impression. She want’s to be good friends, so, I apologize in advance for the craziness. But she is not crazy, which she wants to prove.” Cage tells, more like warns me, and I giggle slightly. “It’s fine, but ugh, why does she want to be best friends so badly? And what was all that stuff she was talking about last night? About me being Deacon’s, ugh, something and all that other stuff?” I ask in extreme curiosity and Cage looks like he wants to answer but doesn’t quite know how. “Ugh, like I said, she was wasted.” Cage says then swiftly changes the subject, “So, how are you since last night was pretty rough?” Nice, quick change dude. Ehh, I’ll let it go, for now anyway.
“Well, I guess I’m ok.” I vaguely answer and he raises his eyebrow, but lets it go. He goes to ask another question, when his eyes fog over. “I got to go get something.” Cage says with a mischievous smile, then leaves the room. Then the back door swings open, and out walks Deacon, looking hot as hell and sexy as ever.
Today he’s wearing a dark blue V-neck that shows off his gorgeous muscles, black jeans that fit perfectly, black combat boots and a leather jacket. Holy shit, he is seriously the hottest guy I have ever seen in my life, there is really no question. No one could compare. My God. Suddenly, I am hyper aware of my appearance. What if I look like shit? I mean, I smell good since I took a shower this morning, but that doesn’t mean I look good! I did check my makeup in the mirror before I came inside, but still. And wait, why do I suddenly care if I look good for this guy? I don’t want another guy in my life so soon, especially not a bad boy bar and restaurant owner!
Through my pain in the ass inner thoughts, I didn’t notice Deacon take the bar stool next to me, causing him to scare me when I turn my head. I see he is smirking in amusement when he sees he scared me. “Did I scare you?” He tries to ask seriously, but I can tell he wants to laugh. “No.” I lie badly and his lips twitch in amusement. “Sure.” He replies, biting back his laugh, then he turns serious. “How are you? Last night was rough on you.” Deacon suddenly asks and I’m a little taken aback.
“I’m, well, I’m not good, but I’m not a horrible crying mess either so I guess that’s a plus. Although, I don’t know exactly why I’m not. He and I were together for two years, and I love him, so I don’t know why I’m not balling my eyes out right now. I almost feel kind of numb to the pain he caused now. I mean, last night I felt it all, but today, not as much anymore.” Which is weird AF, because before I got here and saw Deacon, I felt like crying until I couldn’t cry anymore. But now seeing him, it’s like all my feelings about Chad and what he did were shoved to the back of my mind. Weird. And why am I telling him all this!? I only met the guy last night for crying out loud! And now he gets me to rant to him? How? Why do I feel so comfortable around him? So, safe? Like he would never hurt me, but protect me from everything that tries.
“Oh, wow, I can’t believe I just told you all of that.” I say, almost to myself, in disbelief and Deacon smiles brightly, looking both happy and pleased. Which confuses me, but I decide to let it go. “It’s ok, I wanted to know. Otherwise I wouldn’t of asked.” Deacon reassures me and I give a small smile which he returns with a crooked grin, that makes me smile brighter. “Want a drink or something?” Deacon asks. “I’d say yes, but, I’m eighteen and I don’t want to cause you any trouble by serving a minor.” I admit and he chuckles. “Makes sense. But, if I take two beers and we go outside in my private yard, then nobody will know.” Deacon suggests with a mischievous look on his extremely attractive face and I think about it. Do I want to go outside, somewhere private, alone, with Deacon? Hell yes I do.
I nod and he smiles at me, then grabs two bottles of beer and leads the way to another door that leads out back or something. We walk out and suddenly we are surrounded by grass, trees, bushes and flowers. There is a picnic table out here with a blanket over it, and the sky is a perfect blue right now. Deacon leads me over to the table and we take our seats, opposite each other. “So, are you hungry?” Deacon asks all of a sudden, and my stomach growls right then. I blushed and nodded in embarrassment. He chuckled. “Well, my chef is very good, and I can have him serve us out here if you want?” Deacon offers, and I’m so hungry and mesmerized by his dark, dark, eyes, I would probably say yes to sushi right now. And sushi is disgusting.
“Yes, that sounds good.” I reply, making him smile. “I’ll go get you a menu.” He gets up and heads back inside, to get the menu and I quickly pull out my phone and text Amber.
ME: Amber! I am having lunch with Deacon from last night, the one who owns the bar! Help! I just dumped Chad now I am having lunch with some guy!
AMBER: Send me a pic of him, I want to see how hot he is! And go for it! Have lunch with him, it’s not sex or a date. Relax. And seriously, the pic.
Figures, only Amber would say something like that. I am having a crisis and she wants a picture of him. I laugh to myself despite my nerves eating at me, and text her back.
ME: Really? I am freaking out and u want a pic?
AMBER: HELL YEAH! And calm down, it’s just lunch!
She’s right, it’s just lunch. I need to calm down.
ME: True, ttyl
AMBER: TTYL, P.S. The pic.
I laugh to myself at my best friend. I can’t just go, ‘Hey Deacon, you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, let me take a shirtless pic of you’. Wait, Amber never said shirtless. Holy mother of, where is my mind going? I seriously need to get my mind out of the gutter before he comes back out here. I admit I have a dirty mind, but it is just lunch with a guy I don’t even really know.
“Here.” Deacon startles me and hands me the menu. “Thanks.” I reply, laughing at the fact that he scared me twice now. “Did I scare you again?” He asks, not even trying to hide his amusement. He looks so sexy when he is amused. “Maybe.” I joke, and twirl my hair around my finger and smile in my way that makes guys drool. The fuck? I did not just flirt. Oh shit, I did. My hair twirled around my finger is something I do when I am interested and flirting, same with that smile, and he noticed and looks very happy.
He gave me his sexy as hell grin of his, and almost threw me off my flirting game it’s so sexy it’s almost distracting. I bite my lip, then glance down at my menu. I look at it for a minute, and I’m torn between a few things. “Your place, what do you recommend?” I ask smiling, and setting my menu aside. “You like meat?” “Love it. I could never go without meat.” I admit and he smiles in approval. “Good. Then I suggest the bacon burger. It’s thick, juicy, and covered in lots of bacon and cheese too if you want.” That sounds incredible, plus I’m starving. “Sounds good, yeah, I’ll have that.”
“I’ll let the chef know.” Deacon replies as he stands and walks back to the door. Yes, I watched him walk. He has that sexy, swagger mixed with intimidation thing in his walk which is sexy as hell. Plus, he has a nice back.
When he returns, I’m about to ask him why he is being so nice to me, but then he gives me that sexy look and my question kind of just flies out the window.
“Do you want to talk about last night?” Deacon asks me softly, almost afraid of mentioning it. “I went over to his place and yelled at him this morning, then his slut showed up and we got into a fight. Then she waited for me by my car, and wouldn’t let me leave. So, I shoved her down and she slapped me. We got into it with words, then she blocked my car by standing behind it so I couldn’t leave. I barely tapped her with the back of my car and she fell down, so I dragged her by her hair away from my car, then I left. And that’s when I texted you.” I explain to him, and he looks concerned, but like he wants to laugh too. “You knocked her down twice?” He gets out through muffled laughter. I laugh, “Yes.” I admit and he bursts, his laughter coming out loudly. “That’s great.”
“Yeah. It was fun.” I laugh.
Our food arrived quickly, and Deacon was right. The burger was fucking amazing. I had the beer with it, and water too.
We talked all throughout the lunch and it felt so right I can’t even explain it. Being with him, is just, it feels meant to be.
I like being around him. No, I love it. I want him so badly, but I don’t trust it. I can’t. Not after what my supposed to be, guy best friend slash boyfriend did to me. I can’t trust any guy. Sure, I can hang out with Deacon and be friends, but nothing more. As much as I want it. I can tell he wants me too, but he is waiting for the right time seeing as my breakup was last night. But it will never be right. I’ll just get hurt again, and I can’t let that happen.