Chapter Twelve - Daniel
She smiled and walked toward me, her arms open. Everything about her set every part of me on fire, inside and out. She drew closer, until our hands touched. Between us, keeping us from falling into one another was a barrier, invisible, but impossible to get past. I yearned to kiss her, to feel her lips on mine once more.
“Daniel.” She whispered. Her voice rocked me, setting of fireworks in my chest. I hadn’t heard her speak since our last phone call. “If you’re in there and you can hear me. I love you too.”
“I’m here, I’m here.” I exclaimed desperately, trying to tear the barrier between us apart. It was futile, She stepped away, slowly, fading out from sight slowly.
“I love you Kyla. Please, stay.”
And then she was gone.
The sunlight poured in through the window of my living room, right into my eyes, rousing me from my drunken slumber. I opened my eyes unprepared for the brightness I was engulfed in.
“Ugh.” I groaned, sitting up and turning away from the blinding sun.
The evidence of my whiskey fueled bender was all over the coffee table. It had numbed my mind, I couldn’t even remember how many days it had been since I had started, though judging by the beard I was currently sporting it had been at least five days.
I picked up an almost empty glass and drained the remaining liquid. I screwed my nose up and placed the cup down in disappointment, the stale aftertaste stuck with me, as if to teach me a lesson. I leaned back into the sofa and closed my eyes.
I saw her again, my beautiful Kyla, smiling at me. She was holding out her arms, beckoning me. But only in my head. I had dreamed of her, every time I’d fallen asleep these last few days and every time the dream had ended the same way, by her running from me... except for last night. In my dream she had told me she loved me too and then she was gone.
I frowned and stood up. I’d gone my whole life not giving my heart to someone else completely for fear of being brokenhearted. But it had been inevitable, both falling for her and losing her all at once. I had done things in my youth, hurt people. Perhaps I deserved to be unhappy now.
I was about to take another bottle of whiskey down off the shelf when a key jangled in my door. I let go of the whiskey and walked over to the door.
Deep down I’d hoped it was her, which didn’t make any sense, she didn’t have a key to my apartment. I frowned, annoyed I still clearly held hope. The door opened and I was immediately confronted by Jackson and Amber’s concerned faces.
“So you are alive.” Amber said dryly as she walked into the apartment. “Ugh, it smells like whiskey and I don’t know what else in here.”
“Hello to you to.” I murmured walked back to the sofa. “I’m probably not great company, so yeah.”
“Dude, you’ve been MIA for almost a week. We’ve tried calling, emailing... everything.” Jackson exclaimed sitting down beside me.
I shrugged. I’d left the phone off the hook, and I’d been too drunk to get near my computer. So they had been worried, well I was fine and they’d seen that now.
“I’ve been busy.” I shrugged.
“Busy drinking yourself into a stupor by the looks of it.” Amber replied.
“Sorry mom." I shot back. “Did I need your permission?”
“Hey. Dan, don’t talk to AMber like that okay. She’s worried about you. We all are.” Jackson leapt to Amber’s defence, and instantly I felt guilty for taking my pain out on her.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I looked over at Amber who stood by the Tv with her arms folded across her chest. “I’m sorry I’m being a dick. I just... I’m lost, I can’t eat I can’t think... Everytime I close my eyes all I can see is her. Tell me what to do.” I pleaded.
Amber walked over to the couch and sat on the other side of me. “You’re in love. It’s wonderful and amazing when it’s going right, but when it’s not... it’s soul consuming.”
“How do I stop?”
“Do you want to?” Jackson asked softly.
“She doesn’t love me back.” I replied.
“You know that how?” Amber retorted. “Has she said that to you?”
“No, but I told the whole world how I felt and nothing. She doesn’t even care enough to let me down at all. It’s dead silence. I hurt her.”
“Ugh, I swear Daniel Jackson you are in infuriating.” Amber exclaimed. “She called us yesterday. She came here, but you didn’t answer. She took a week to gather her thoughts and turned everything off. She didn’t even know about the conference until yesterday.”
“Amber.” Jackson warned.
“No, look, she said not to say anything because she thought she’d lost him. She thought he had changed his mind. Look at the guy. He’s a mess.” Amber looked at me and tilted her head, shooting me a pitying look. “No offense.”
I held my hands up, I hadn’t looked in the mirror in days, but I knew I probably looked as ratchet as I felt.
“But all of that aside Daniel, you’re part of the patchwork family and something you should know by now is that we don’t give up. Were testament to that. You and me scoured the ocean for goodness sakes to find Jackson after the plane crash in the name of love.” She smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder. “You know where Kyla is, and you know how you feel. All you need to do is tell her.”
I smiled and nodded. Amber was right, as usual. Giving up wasn’t in my blood. I was letting the fear win, afraid that if I kept trying inevitably I’d keep hurting. But it was what I was doing anyway.
“I know.” I replied finally.
“Good.” Jackson said patting me on the back. “But, maybe sober up and shower first.”
I smiled and looked at my cousin. “You saying a stink cuz?”
“Like a brewery.”
I laughed and pointed to the empty bottle of whiskey. “I’m not surprised.”
“Dude, you know you can always talk to us right. Bottles don’t make good friends, even if it seems like the best option at the time.” Jackson said, his face deadpan. “We really were worried. You’re like my brother.”
I nodded. “Noted.” I smiled, throwing my arms around Jackson and Amber, pulling them into a hug.
After they left I called Tom. He sounded surprised to hear from me, I had after all, told him I wouldn’t be back any time soon. I asked him to arrange a meeting with Kyla for the next day. Whatever happened with her and I, I still needed to tell her that Kystar and Star Family were full steam ahead. Our plan had worked, but not at all in the ways we had expected.
But for now I had to clean up, both my apartment and myself. Because come tomorrow. I was going to fight for the love of my life, and goddammit, I was going to win.