Remembering Scars

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Chapter 20

It had been ages since Gil last got sick. The last time was when he was sixteen, after staying outside in the snow for way too long. He ended up bent over the toilet all night and half the day, throwing up food, water, stomach acid, even medicine, anything and everything he tried to eat. It took a week for him to get better, and that was the flu. He hated being sick more than anything, especially considering he was supposed to be at Pandora’s Pride with Bas later.

There was no way he could leave the way he was feeling now. His head hurt horribly, worse than his headaches ever used to be. The pain was throbbing like jolts of lightning running from the back of his neck, over his scalp, to his temple and behind his eyes. His throat and chest felt tight, sore and painful like he’d been screaming bloody murder during torture. There was an annoying, constant buzz in his ears, and there was sweat lining his hit body despite the fact he was shivering.

The only thing he could think to do was roll onto his side and curl up, hugging his pillow and yanking the covers up over his head to keep the light from making his growing migraine worse. He coughed into his pillow, wincing from how raw it made his chest feel and muttered out, “Shit,” his throat felt so sore and raw he could hardly talk above a whisper.

Maybe it was a side effect of the drug Kaleb had given Gil. For the longest time after waking up he couldn’t move his arms or legs, Bas had to carry him home, but thank God no one asked questions. They assumed Gil was up all night with Bas, which he had been, but for a different reason. The drug didn’t completely disperse until the previous night, and he’d been far too exauhsted to sleep with Bas. Not that he minded. Neither minded. As long as they were happy together, Bas didn’t mind, as long as he knew Gil returned his feelings, he was fine just holding his hand. It was only made better by the fact everyone in the house knew and accepted it.

Gil figured he must have laid there for quite a while, because in the next instance, he heard a knock at his door, followed by Sebastian’s voice, “Gil?” he sounded concerned, but Gil couldn’t reply, so he just groaned and curled tighter against himself as the door opened before shutting, “Hey, what happened?” the bed sunk down in front of Gil, and the covers were folded back so Bas could see Gil’s flushed face, “Are you sick?”

“What the fuck do you think?” Gil croaked, and Bas’ lips twitched up at the corners, but faded when he set a hand on Gil’s forehead.

“Damn, it seems like a pretty bad fever,” he stroked his fingers through Gil’s hair, pushing back his bangs and wiping at the sweat on his skin, “Okay, just lie still, try to relax. I’ll grab medicine for you and tell Wolfy and Pete you’re sick and to let you rest.”

Gil grumbled, “Trust me, I’m not moving.”

Bas smiled and leaned down, kissing Gil’s forehead before standing and leaving the room. While he was gone, Gil almost fell asleep, but the soreness of his body kept him awake and really frustrated until his newfound lover stepped back into the room. In one hand he balanced a small bottle of medicine and an ice pack, and the other held a steaming mug.

When Gil saw the medicine he scowled and pulled the blankets back over his head stubbornly, “Hell no.”

Bas sighed, “Gil.”

“That shit’s gross.”

“You don’t have to drink the entire bottle, Gil,” Bas argued, kneeling beside the bed where Gil was facing and setting the hot mug down before peeling back the blankets just enough to see Gil’s glaring eyes, “Please? It’ll make you feel better.”

“Still no.”

“Come on, baby, please?”

Gil’s face flushed a deeper shade of crimson, and he turned his face into the pillow, “Just cuz you called me that doesn’t mean I’ll take your poison liquid.”

Bas chuckled and kissed Gil’s temple, pushing his long hair behind his ear to see the silver lotus earring, “I’ll cook your soup.”

“You don’t know how to cook, Seb.”

“Sebby doesn’t, Bas does,” Bas hummed, and Gil rolled his head to look at his brother, reaching out to brush his cheek.

“There are still bits of Sebby in you,” he said, and Bas pressed his cheek into Gil’s hand, “You’re still my little brother.”

Bas smirked and leaned closer, holding back Gil’s hair and whispering into his ear, “That’s not what you were saying the other night.”

Gil hissed and pulled back, slapping a hand onto Bas’ face, “Now is not the time,” he snarled, burying his face into his pillow, “My head hurts too much for that.”

“Sorry,” Bas chuckled and opened the bottle of medicine, “Just a little, please? I made really strong tea for you to hide the taste with.”

Gil sighed and pushed himself onto his elbows before grabbing the little shot of medicine and downing it before shuddering and curling into a tighter ball, “Hate you.”

“Course you do,” Bas hummed, sitting on the edge of the bed and picking up the tea, “Here, sit up and drink.”

“The flavor is awful.”

“The tea is better, baby, come on.”

“You’re the worst,” Gil sat up and took the cup, taking tiny sips of the hot tea while Bas brushed back his hair.

“Try to sleep when you’re done.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to try to make up some broth for you to try and choke down.”

“Kay,” Gil took a few more sips before setting the tea on the bedside table and lying down.

Bas pulled the covers up over his shoulders and set the pack of ice against the back of Gil’s neck and kissing his cheek, “Sleep. I’ll be back soon.”

“Do what you want...”

Gil’s sleep was restless and uneasy. He kept unconsciously thinking of Camilla and Kaleb, and the businessman who drugged him. It only occurred to him then, but the prostitute who gave him the drug was Camilla’s mother. She was involved, Camilla was. Why? Because Sebastian stabbed a broken bottle through her hand? Because since that day Gil had refused to go back, mainly because Bas never let him out if his sight?

He didn’t understand. Kaleb’s unnatural obsession with Gil, when did it start? When Wolf was still running with them maybe? That’s when Kakeb first saw Gil. And Bas, but Kakeb didn’t recognize him. Not that Gil was surprised. Bas really was different than Seb, not just physically.

Gil opened his eyes when the door opened, and Bas frowned seriously, “Did you sleep at all?”

Gil shrugged, “I did, kinda,” he reached his hand out, and Sebastian walked forward, setting the cup if broth beside the tea and sitting on the bed, taking Gil’s hand and squeezing it.

“What’s wrong?”

Gil shook his head, “I hate being sick,” he complained, and Bas smiled softly.

“I’ll nurse you to health,” he assured, helping Gil sit up and handing him the broth, “Here, it’s home made.”

Gil raised up an eyebrow and took the cup, “Should I call poison control?”

“Just try it,” Bas sighed, watching intently as Gil brought the mug to his lips, drinking slowly and pulling it away with a surprised look.


“Like it?”

“When did you learn to cook?”

“Avery showed me,” Bas shrugged, “I was there a lot, so he let me cook and experiment to keep me busy. And for a free home cooked meal.”

“He’s a really strange kid,” Gil said, tapping the side of the cup, “You met him a really... odd way... what exactly is his story.”

“That’s not important,” Bas said, “And please don’t ask him. It’s a really bad subject for him, like that woman to us.”

“Oh,” Gil nodded, “I get it. Okay.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“A little I guess.”

“Good,” Bas took the cup and set it aside, “Try and sleep a little more, alright?”

Gil obeyed and lay down, closing his eyes and falling asleep. When he woke up again it was night time, and he was still tired, but he eased out of his bed and walked quietly to his door, tip toeing across the hall to Sebastian’s room. He was sitting at his desk working on what looked like homework, but looked up when his door opened.

Gil blushed horribly, shocked to see his brother was wearing glasses. When did he get those?!


“When did you get glasses?”

“Last year. For reading. You don’t remember?”

Gil paled and shook his head, “S-sorry.”

“Why? Is something wrong?”

Gil shook his head again and walked over, sitting down on Sebastian’s lap and curling up against his chest, hiding his head under his chin, “Just tired.”

“Oh,” Bas laughed and wrapped an arm around Gil’s waist, “Do you plan on sleeping here on my lap?”


“Okay then,” Bas chuckled and buried his face in Gil’s hair, “Goodnight then.”

Gil mumbled and closed his eyes, finally able to fall asleep and stay asleep, despite his cold.

When he later woke, he was in bed, Sebastian’s bed, neatly tucked against his chest and held in his arms, but his illness had his body heating and shivering. He felt horrible again, and it was uncomfortably hot. He pushed Bad away like he was the problem before rolling around and groaning, kicking away the covers and burying his face in one of the pillows.

When that didn’t help, he pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking down at Bas and poking his face, but he didn’t wake up. He looked so content sleeping like he was, Gil ended up just sighing before slipping from under the covers and tip toeing from the room as quietly as he could. Down in the kitchen, Wolf was sitting at the table with a book, but surprisingly enough, Jaimie wasn’t with him. Odd, usually they were attached at the hip.

“Hey,” Gil greeted, rubbing his eyes, hating how choked he sounded due to his sore throat.

Wolf looked up and say straighter, “You should be in bed, it’s midnight.”

“It is?” Gil looked over at the clock before sighing, “I woke up. It’s hot.”

“Ah,” Wolf gave a crooked smile before standing up, wiggling his eyebrows as he moved for the refrigerator, “I get it,” Gil blushed, eyes growing wide as he gaped at Wolfgang, who snickered and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, “Calm down, I’m teasing you,” he assured, throwing the cool pack to Gil.

He fumbled for it before holding it against the back of his neck, watching Wolfgang sit back down. He sighed after a moment and walked forward, sitting down across from him, “Can... can I ask?”


Gil played with the silver earring a moment before speaking, “I mean... well... this whole thing with Seb... did you know?”

Wolfgang looked up from his book, “The tattoo? Yea, he showed us.”

“No, not the-,” Gil glared hotly at his brother, “He fucking showed you?!”


Gil slammed the ice pack onto the table, “Why is it I’m the last to know about everything when it comes to him?! He gets a fucking tattoo, makes a fucking friend, he frequents a damn strip club, he’s not even s virgin because of his friend, and he’s got a god damn crush one me?! How long has everyone known?!”

Wolfgang closed the book and cleared his throat, “I think Pete’s always known... I only found out like... maybe two years ago.”

“Two years?!”

“Ah, yea, and he told Ben and Rita and Kitty maybe a year ago.”

Gil choked and held his hands up, “How could he not tell me? I mean I get he was nervous about the whole crush thing, fine, but the strip club? The tattoo?” Gil felt his nose burning from oncoming tears, “He shut me out completely...”

Wolf bit his lip and folded his arms on the table, leaning forward, “Gil, you can’t be mad at him for it. He was scared.”

“I’m not mad at him, I’m mad at myself,” Gil muttered, hands folded on his lap as he glared down, “I’m mad at myself for not noticing. What kind of a brother am I? I was so lost in my own issues I didn’t even... notice...”

Wolf sighed and sat back, “Alright look, that’s not your fault. It’s our fault for not trying to talk to you about it. But... it’s fine now, Gil. You both made up, you’re okay now. Better than okay according to those interesting noises that keep coming from Bas’ room at night.”

Gil’s face heated up, and he raised the ice pack to hide behind, “Y-yea... a-and you don’t... you guys don’t think it’s... weird? We’re brothers...”

“So? I think he explained it pretty well,” Wolf propped an elbow against the table and set his chin in his hand, “His very first memory was of you. Even with Pete and I also being there, everytime he thought of his past, it was about you. You were always his idol, his role model. When he started noticing, you know, sex and stuff, for some reason girls didn’t appeal to him. Neither did men, but when he looked at you, everything made sense to him.”

Gil blushed harder against the ice pack, and he pulled it away to look at Wolf, “But... I’m not... special or anything. Why me? Why not you?”

“I know right?” Wolf beamed, “I’m pretty hot,” Gil rolled his eyes, and Wolf chuckled, “I don’t know why, and neither does he. Hell, why’d I fall for Jaimie? Why’d Pete end up with Jacob? Why are Katherine and Cameron together? Why’d pops end up with Rita? There’s no definite to relationships, Gil, nothing is ever planned, it just happens. Cupid is one bipolar son of a bitch, he does crazy things,” his smile softened, “You’re both happy with it. That’s all that should matter. True, there are gonna be people who don’t like it, think it’s gross, but that’s cuz they don’t get it. All you can do is keep loving and feel sorry for those people who don’t see just how much that love reaches.”

Gil stared down at his lap, and cursed silently when he felt the first hot tear slip down his cheek, “I... I never... expected it to be him. I mean, gay or straight, whatever, but I honestly never even thought of myself in a relationship at all,” he couldn’t stop the smile that played on his lips, “I’m not disappointed.”

“Me neither,” Wolf agreed, “No one in this house is. Trust me, you two can be as lovey dovey as you want and the rest of us will just take pictures and awe. We don’t care. We’re happy for you guys. Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for you to get together? Honestly,” Gil reached up and wiped at his face, nodding, and Wolf stood up, picking up his book, “You deserve to be happy. Enjoy it.”

The kitchen became silent after that, and Gil looked up to see he was alone. He sniffed again and wiped at his eyes before reaching up to the lotus earring pierced through his left ear. Lotus. Sebastian’s favorite flower. His club name.

It was okay, wasn’t it? To love Sebastian like that? More than a brother? Anything less than being lovers seemed... so wrong now. Gil was too content to go back to being just brothers. You could be brothers and lovers at the same time, right? After all, Ben would say Rita was his best friend. Cal called Annabelle his partner in crime. They could be brothers too, couldn’t they?

Gil stood up finally and pushed the seat in, bringing the ice pack with him as he walked back up the stairs, easing into Sebastian’s room and closing the door as silently as he could before making his way back to the bed, pulling the covers back and wiggling his way back into Bas’ arms. He set the ice pack against his neck so he wouldn’t get too hot, coughed a few times into his arm, then sighed and laid his head against Sebastian’s chest.

Yea. This was paradise. How could something that felt so right be seen as so wrong? Cupid really was a bipolar bitch.

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