Remembering Scars

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Chapter 29

One of Sam’s dreams was always to get an apartment with Chris, to live together with him. It never mattered how big the apartment was, all he wanted was a bed and a roof and a key to the door that lead into a home he didn’t have to share with his father. He loved his father, of course, but he was almost twenty-two, and he needed to move on. The only thing that kept him with his father was the fact Chris was still lost to him, stuck in a coma, but now that he was awake, now that he remembered...

It was a humble little studio apartment with a bed in one corner, a kitchen area across the room, a small bathroom with a shower and a toilet, a flatscreen hanging on the wall, a single couch and a coffee table, and the window lead out onto a small balcony and fire escape. It wasn’t big, it wasn’t elegant or beautiful, but it was perfect in every way.

“Chris, you can’t carry that,” Sam chided when Chris picked up a box from the back of Cal’s car.

“What are you talking about, this is nothing!”

“It’s filled with books, let Cal carry it.”

“I’m on it,” Cal plucked the box from Chris’ arms, and Annabelle laughed as she handed Chris a few bags instead.

“Just let them do what they want,” she said, waving a hand, and Chris pouted with a nod before running to follow Sam.

It was nice of everyone to help out moving everything. They didn’t have much more than a few boxes of books, clothes, and DVD’s, but Sam didn’t think they needed much to start a life. He set the box he was carrying down on the coffee table, and Cal dropped his next to it as Chris and Annabelle set down the bags in the kitchen.

Chris then ran around the counter over to Sam, jumping and wrapping his arms around his neck from behind, kissing his cheek and bringing a smile to Sam’s lips as Casey and Lex followed through the door, Lex holding it open with his foot for Casey, and they both looked around the apartment curiously.

“It’s really nice,” Casey said with a smile, and Lex nodded as they both set down their boxes, “How’d you find it?”

“Marin helped out,” Sam explained as Chris hopped up to wind his legs around his waist, hugging him from behind with a huge smile on his face as Sam spoke, “A friend of his is the landlord here and told him there was an open room, and Marin told me, so... I asked him to reserve it.”

“Lucky, usually studio apartments like these are hard to get,” Lex mused, looking around and leaning against the back of the couch.

“Do you need help with anything else?” Annabelle asked, and Sam offered her a smile.

“No, I think we’ve got it from here. Thank you all for your help.”

“Of course,” Cal wound an arm around Annabelle’s waist, and the group made their way towards the door, “If you need anything just call.”

“Yea, thanks.”

Chris waved, “Bye!” when the door shut, he hopped off of Sam’s back, spinning around him and kissing him before moving to the boxes stacked on the coffee table, “Okay,” he cracked his knuckles, “Time to unpack. Where are we gonna put everything anyway? Our books and clothes?” he opened one of the boxes and started pulling out books, “We’ll have to get a bookshelf from Ikea, huh?”

“That’ll be stressful,” Sam sighed, rubbing his neck and walking over to the bags in the kitchen. Evidently Cal, Annabelle, Casey, Lex, and Seth had all gone shopping to get them some supplies to start off with. Toiletries like soap, towels, silverware and plates for the kitchen, and something that was bagged three times and tied in a knot that Sam had to cut with scissors.

Opening it, the first thing he saw was a notecard from Annabelle in pretty currsive that said, First thing’s first, you gotta christen the place. Under the notecard were a selection of different lubes, a few boxes of different kinds of condoms, a pair of fuzzy red handcuffs, and a few other promiscuous objects that had Sam’s cheeks burning.

“What’s with your face?”

“Nothing!” Sam tied the bag four times before picking it up and carrying it over to the bathroom, “Nothing, it’s nothing, just soap.”

Chris arched an eyebrow as Sam stepped unto the bathroom, but shrugged as he went back to work. Sam stared at the bag a long time before running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t had sex since that last time with Chris, which was a long time, and Chris had only just woken up. Sure he remembered quite a bit, mainly about Sam, but he wasn’t sure if he remembered the fact they’d slept together before, more than once. Besides, what if Sam went to do something only for Chris to remember all the bad stuff?

Even so, the temptation... Sam tore open one of the boxes and slipped the foil wrapped square into his pocket before taking out the smallest bottle of lube and hiding it in the pocket of his hoodie before shoving everything under the sink and leaving the bathroom, eyeing Chris as he walked back to the kitchen to continue putting everything away.

With the idea of intimacy in his head, it was hard to concentrate on anything else. Chris looked so perfect, even though to most it probably wasn’t much. He was wearing faded jeans, converse, and a tight black long sleeved shirt, as well as one of Sam’s hoodie’s. Because of how much smaller Chris was, probably due to the fact he’d been in a coma and didn’t get normal nutrition and exercise, the jacket had slipped off of one shoulder, and the shirt collar was low enough to show his collar bone.

His red hair was fairly long, but natural enough to hide the scar on the right side of his head, and his blue eyes were glittering with life as he smiled and sifted through the boxes of books. Sam was so distracted staring at him he slipped on a plastic bag he’d dropped, and Chris looked over at the kitchen with a frown.

“You okay?”

“Fine!” Sam scrambled to his feet and grabbed the plastic bag, throwing it in the general direction of the trash bin, “I’m fine, I’m tough.”

Chris smiled at him and he blushed, cursing as Chris went back to what he was doing. After a while Sam ran a hand through his dark hair and left the kitchen, wandering over to the door and turning the lock as well as sliding the bolt, all the while staring at Chris.

“How much are bookshelves anyway?” Chris asked when Sam walked up, but Sam ignored the question as he reached out.


“Hm?” Chris turned his head, and Sam’s hand caught his face, pulling him gently towards him for a kiss.

Starting slow, Chris easily slipped into it, returning it readily and tilting his head as he parted his lips, humming in satisfaction as Sam drove his tongue into his mouth. His hand slid to cup Chris’ neck, shifting forward with one hand on his waist, teasing up his shirt. When he parted from the kiss, he was expecting Chris to pull away, but instead he stared at Sam with half lidded eyes, licking his lips and smiling, tipping his head to the side, his hands sliding up Sam’s chest and pushing his hoodie off his shoulders.

That was all the invitation needed, and Sam pulled him back to the kiss, letting his hoodie fall off before his hands pulled at the coat Chris was wearing, his hands slipping up under his shirt, teasing up so Chris raised his arms to make it easier to strip the black clothes. Sam threw it aside before grabbing the back of his shirt and tearing it off, dropping it and taking Chris’ face back into his hands, kissing him passionately as he slowly lowered him down to the couch.

Their lips stayed locked together as he untied Chris’ shoes and pulled them off with his socks, pulling off his own before his fingers started to work at Chris’ jeans, popping the button easily and pulling the zipper down. Chris giggled against his lips as he lifted his hips, shimmying out of his jeans and letting Sam pulled them away and throw them off somewhere into the room, lips kissing every inch of skin on Chris’ stomach, chest, and shoulders, his hand stroking Chris through his boxers.

Chris gasped and threw his head back, raising a hand and covering his mouth as little noises left his pursed lips, his head rolling to the side and revealing the perfect area of his neck for Sam to kiss and bite playfully, each nibble making Chris giggle against the back of his hand. It was a mix between moans, hums, and laughing on Chris’ part, and it made Sam insanely happy that he was enjoying it. He was so worried he might hate it, he might remember something bad, but instead he was giggling like a schoolgirl and blushing like a cherry tomato.

“Quit it,” Chris laughed when Sam nibbled on his neck, “It tickles.”

“Hm, how bout this then?” Sam asked before licking at the sensetive spots he knew were there.

Apparently Chris had forgotten about them, because he keened under the hot touches, whining and unable to contain his voice, his hands clawing at Sam, “Haaah! Th-that doesn’t t-tickle.”

Sam chuckled against his skin before licking again, making Chris writhe. It was quite fun. Because Chris couldn’t remember ever having sex, he didn’t remember any of the sensetive spots he had, but Sam did, so he could tease him all he wanted, his hands playing with his erection and his mouth playing with the rosey pink of his nipples, nibbling and sucking at them to make Chris moan more.

He wasn’t shy about those noises either. Sam remembered before, Chris tried to control himself and hold in the pleasure, but now he wasn’t at all shy as he bucked his hips and mewled like a cat in heat, his hands pulling at Sam and reaching down to slip under the hem of his jeans to rub the head of his cock, humming and smiling in content.

Sam pulled away and started unbuckling his jeans, pushing them down enough to free himself before pulling the condom from his back pocket and tearing it open. When Chris saw it he propped himself onto his elbows, reaching out and grabbing Sam’s hand.

“Can I?”

Sam stared at him for a moment before smiling and laughing, letting him take the condom, “Sure.”

Chris wiggled around on the couch until he was on his knees, but instead of opening the condom, he bent down and kissed the tip of Sam’s head before parting his lips and taking Sam into his mouth. Sam gasped and grabbed onto the back of the couch, groaning through his teeth.

“Shit, Chris, what the hell?”

Chris pulled off and licked Sam from base to tip, looking up at him through his eyelashes, “You toyed with me, now it’s my turn,” he said cheekily before sliding Sam back into his mouth, sucking and licking at the hot skin.

Sam bent over him, groaning, his fingers tangling through Chris’ hair and holding it up away from his face, “Damn, if you keep doing that...”

Chris pulled away and laughed, his hand rubbing up and down Sam’s half-hard shaft before he bit onto the edge of the foil wrapping around the condom and tearing it open. He put it on wrong the first try and giggled like an idiot because of it before rolling it on correctly and falling onto his back, pushing down his boxers and reaching up for Sam, who smiled and leaned over him, situating himself between his legs and kissing him as he reached down to the floor, pulling the little bottle of lube from his coat pocket and popping it open.

He poured the clear substance onto his fingers without having to look and spread apart Chris’ legs, reaching down and beging to play with his entrance. One of his legs was hooked over Sam’s shoulder, the other was pushed up so his knee was almost touching his chest, and both hands were raised up, his teeth biting the knuckle of one hand as the other clutched around his wrist. Sam slid his fingers in and out of him, twisting his wrist and scissoring apart his fingers to stretch him and prepare him properly, while his free hand was raised, pushing back Chris’ hair and holding the top of his head as he moved in for a loving kiss that Chris kept moaning into as Sam moved his fingers around, hooking them before drawing them out, and Chris’ back arched in a gasp.

Sam poured more of the lube into his hand and lathered it over his shaft before leaning over Chris and holding his knees apart, pressing the prick against his entrance and sliding in easily due to the healthy leangth of preparation. Pushing deeper was a bit more difficult, but it had been a while since Chris had been intimate with anyone, so that was to be expected. Either way it felt amazing for Sam, who groaned as he entered his lover with little thrusts, going deeper each time.

Chris’ head was thrown back, mouth open, back arched, pushing down against Sam as he continued to enter with careful movements, slipping up into him and spreading him apart to accomodate his length, which Chris could swear was getting bigger each second. When Sam was all the way inside, he leaned down and kissed Chris’ forehead, his fingers raking through his pretty red hair and pushing it away from his face so he could kiss him, his lips trailing over to the scar and pressing down, eyes closing.

“You okay?” he asked softly, and Chris nodded his head furiously.

“God yes, Sam,” he answered breathlessly, “Mmm, I feel like we’ve done this before. Haven’t we? I’m sure we have, it feel so familiar, so good.”

“Yea, we have,” Sam agreed, kissing all over the scar, “Twice before now.”

“Only twice?” Chris panted, hand over his eyes, “Why? Am I stingy? Damn this feels really good and you’re not even moving yet. Why would I not want this more often?”

Sam opened his eyes slowly, his fingers tracing along the outline of the scar before kissing it again, “We have plenty of time now, don’t we?”

“Yea,” Chris held his breath and rolled his hips, moaning as Sam moved inside him, “Shit, damn, you better do something soon.”

Sam laughed and nodded, holding tight behind Chris’ knees as he pulled out before easing back inside, starting slow before his movements became more crazed and pleasured. Chris instantly coiled around Sam, arms curling tight around him as he screamed in pleasure, his hips rolling and meeting Sam thrust for thrust.

His nails clawed at his back, and Sam groaned as he sat back, holding Chris’ waist as he thrust hard, down to the hilt before grinding down, one hand leaving its hold to grasp Chris’ shaft, rubbing it and twisting his hand around it as his thumb rubbed over the prick, making him shrill out and buck his hips, hands clawing the arm of the couch as his eyes rolled back and closed completely, mouth agape as he moaned.

Sam leaned over him again, his body closing over Chris’ as their lips clashed and he pistoned his hips against Chris, thrusting hard and fast, one hand playing with him as the other remained tangle through his hair, and Chris’ arms wrapped around his neck, tightening down when Sam drove his thumb down into the slit at the tip of his shaft, his head falling back in a heavy moan, his heat clenching down around Sam as he continued to thrust in and out of him, groaning as he hit his own climax and collapsing over Chris, panting against his neck.

He smiled and laughed, kissing the pusling artery in his neck before sighing and pulling out, making Chris keen, his back arching as Sam left his body, pulling the condom away and tieing it before throwing it in the direction of the trash bin before pulling his jeans back in place and collapsing beside Chris, who wiggled around on the couch so Sam was on his back and Chris was stretched out above him, still stark naked, looking content as he laid his head on Sam’s chest.

Sam reached down and grabbed his hoodie, draping it over Chris so he wouldn’t get too cold, his hand slipping into one of the pockets and pulling out his cellphone, a little frown gracing his lips as he stared at it, the phone he’d had for three years, unable to toss it out because of the memories that were lost on it.

He stared at it as he rubbed Chris’ back, “You good?”

“Hm, never been better. Or maybe I have, I dunno. I’m awesome right now,” Chris laughed, eyes closed, arms around Sam’s neck, “Sleepy. Dumby, I was supposed to unpack and now I’m tired. That’s your fault.”

“Close your eyes then chéri, I’m not going anywhere.”

Chris smiled and nodded, “I know. I’m not either by the way.”

Sam frowned and looked down at Chris, “What?”

Chris didn’t even look up as he clarrified, “You’re scared you’re gonna lose me again, right? Like I’m going to slip back into my coma, forget everything again?” Sam cringed and tightened his hold as Chris continued, “You’re scared everytime I go to sleep because you’re terrified I won’t wake up.”

Sam swallowed thickly and nodded, “Yes... I’m scared of losing you again.”

“You won’t,” Chris whispered, “When I woke up, the first thing I remembered was you, was your voice, calling me chéri. Even if I didn’t remember you specifically, I remembered the emotions, the love, the words, you were the first and only thing I remembered... and I remember something, I think before I went into my coma, a thought I had... no matter what... there is no way anything will be able to erase these emotions... even if I forget everything else, I’ll never forget you... I’ll never forget how much I love you,” he opened his eyes and looked up at Sam, “I remember thinking that, and it was true. Even though I have amnesia, I remembered you, just like I thought I would,” he closed his eyes and sighed, snuggling against Sam’s chest, “So... you don’t have to be afraid. I’ll wake up, I promise. I love you.”

Tears were slipping out of Sam’s eyes as Chris fell asleep lying on top of him, and he pulled his phone up so he could turn it on and look through the pictures, the old pictures of him and Chris kissing, cuddling, holding hands, then went over to the missed messages and clicked on the only one there before pressing the phone to his ear, ignoring everything until it got to the last part.

“Sam, I really was... no, I really am in love with you. I want to live with you forever. I want to always wake up beside you, I want to be able to tell people you’re mine and I’m yours... I-I wanted to live and die with you... I thought love would always disapoint me, but I was wrong. I love you, baby, and I always will. I love you so much. I... I’m sure... we’ll see each other again... but until then, just... just don’t give up. I love you. I love you. I love you, Samuel Novak, and I’ll never forget you. Goodbye.”

... I’ll never forget you.

Sam pulled the phone away from his ear and stared up at it before looking down at Chris, pushing back his hair to feel over the silky surface of the scar where the bullet entered his skull, swallowing thickly and screwing his eyes shut to fight the tears, taking a deep breath before looking back at the screen of the phone, holding his breath as he hit the delete button. His phone beeped twice, and Chris’ last message was gone.

Sam dropped his phone and wrapped both arms around Chris, kissing his forehead and closing his eyes. He didn’t need the message anymore. For the past three years he’d held tightly to it as an anchor, something to keep him going, to keep his head on the right way so he didn’t break and try to join Chris on that bed. He didn’t need it anymore, not when his anchor was alive and hugging him, fast asleep and beautiful.

So he closed his eyes, held Chris tighter, kissing his forehead and whispering to him, ’I’ll never forget you either,” he smiled, “Je vais vous aimer jusqu’au bout de la terre mon chéri.”

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