Remembering Scars

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Chapter 6

Sebastian’s pen flew across the journal page, barely keeping up with his rapid thoughts as he chewed on his bottom lip, eyebrows drawn together and knee bouncing. He’d always been the kind of person to think journals and diaries were stupid and had no purpose, but soon after his first entry, he’d started to depend on it. It helped him organize his thoughts, and made everything easier to understand. He wrote everything in there, every thought, ever fear, every dirty secret, every immoral dream, every guilty pleasure, and it helped him find an identity.

It was Gil who first suggested that Sebastian keep a diary. Personal experience taught Gil that it actually really helped to collect chaotic thoughts and make sense of them, so he one day came home with a gorgeous leather bound journal that had the initials SE punched into the smooth cover. Being a gift from the one he loved, Sebastian treasured the journal, and never let it out of his sight if he could help it.

In three years, the pages were nearly completely filled, and Sebastian was honestly a bit worried what he would do when he got to the last page. Get another journal, or maybe forget it completely. The one he had now was special, it had meaning, it was a gift from Gil, he didn’t want to stop carrying it around simply because there were no more pages, but he didn’t really think too much on it, though, because in the next moment, a sharp knock echoed from his door, and he lifted his head in time to see the only female he considered family.

Katherine Mitchelle had changed a lot since they’re first meeting three years ago. She’d grown into her body, was the same height as her mother, with a dazzling pearly smile that could make even the hardest hearts melt. Her velvety red hair was silky smooth, and fell down to the middle of her back, with loose strands falling in front of her face, despite how she continuously pushed them behind her ears.

Her blue eyes were bright and intellifent, her skin creamy and her lips full in a smile. She was wearing a loose soccer jersey with the name Mitchelle printed on the back, and the number 2 on the front. If he remembered correctly, it was Chris’. Kitty wore it to counter the empty feeling she often had because of his loss. She was wearing shorts, despite how cold it was outside, as well as black and red DC shoes, and a few accesories that she was always seen with. Band bracelets, a purple Winchester bracelet, and a necklace that matched what her shorter and more timid girlfriend wore.

Cameron Shea was the same age as Kitty, but much shorter, around Gil’s height, just a little shorter than Kitty herself. Sebastian always thought of her as ghost like, and she had an elegant air about her that seemed to be from a much older time. She was beautiful like a porcelain doll, and just as fragile. Sebastian didn’t know much about her past, but he knew she was haunted by it, which would explain her pale complexion and the emptiness that usually echoed in her soft grey-blue eyes.

Her hair was raven black, and seemed darker when contrasted against her ivory skin. It was chest length, and currently styled into a loose braid over her shoulder, where her delicate hands twisted it as she stared down at her black converse shoes. She was wearing black skinny jeans with rips in the knees, as well as a spaghetti strap with a band logo on the front. The only accesory she wore was the matching necklace, a small silver pewter disk with “K+C” carved into it on one side, and a double infinity heart on the other.

Because of her timid nature, Kitty could be rather possessive and protective of her, and hated the fact they attended two completely different schools. While Kitty went to the same school Chris had, the same one that Sebastian, Wolfgang, and Jaimie all went too, Cameron instead was sent by her grandparents to the school across town, the one meant for children of important businessmen and women. It was the school Jaimie left three years ago, and Sebastian was pretty sure she hated it there.

Not that she told him. He didn’t know a lot about it, but Cameron didn’t talk in any situation. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know if she’d always been a mute, but he knew better than to ask about it. Kitty was a sweet girl, but if you somehow made Cameron uncomfortable, or put her in some kind of harsh position, little Kitty Mitchelle became a blood thirsty Lioness. Sebastian liked seeing it, though. It scared the shit out of him, but he enjoyed seeing her coddle her sweet partner.

“So,” Kitty’s melodic voice broke through his thoughts, and Sebastian turned his attention to her in time to see her sit down on the bed, crossing her legs before reaching out for Cameron, who inched closer before crawling onto the bed and positioning herself in Kitty’s lap, back against chest so Kitty could wrap her arms around her, “Peter said you stayed out again last night.”

Sebastian sighed, realizing this was going to be another lecture, and gently closed his journal, slipping it beneath his pillow where he usually kept it, “And?”

“Where did you go?”

He fought another sigh as he sat back, letting his head fall against his headboard as he stared up, far too used to these questions, “Avery’s. I always go to Avery’s, you know that.”

“Gil doesn’t,” Kitty chided, stroking Cameron’s hair with one hand while the sweet girl in her lap played with the other, “You know he’s worried sick, right?” Sebastian scowled at Kitty, who just arched an eyebrow and stared back daringly, “Don’t give me that. You start stupid fights to give yourself an excuse to hide from him, but it’s not doing you any good.”

“So I’ve heard,” Sebastian scoffed, pulling his knees up and leaning his elbows against them, “From literally everyone.”

“Probably because literally everyone is so sick of watching it,” Kitty said as she rolled her eyes, then settled her soft gaze on Seb, “The only one who doesn’t know is Gil,” she said gently, “You can’t keep pushing him away.”

Sebastian just shrugged his shoulders, staring at his folded hands, “It’s worked for me so far.”

“Idiot,” Kitty sighed and set her chin on top of Cameron’s head, Sebastian’s eyes flashing to her.

“Shut up,” he uttered in a dark tone he’d recently learned scared most anyone he used it on, accept for Kitty, who merely shot him a warning glare as Cameron flinched and curled closer to her, pale eyes wide and locked on Seb, who ignored his guilt as he continued, “You don’t know shit about this. You think it’s as simple as just walking up and telling him how I feel? You really think it’s that fucking easy? He’ll fucking hate me!”

Kitty shook her head, “He’s your brother, Seb, of course he won’t hate you

“He’s your brother,” Kitty said softly, “of course he won’t hate you. Your family wants to see you happy, Seb. They just want you to be happy like you used to be.”

“Well I’ve got some bad news for them then,” Sebastian hissed, “That happy boy is gone. He died the day I realized I was in love with my older brother, and he’s not coming back,” he sat back, his head falling against the wall behind him as he sighed, “Just... just go away and leave me alone.”

Kitty opened her mouth to argue, but Cameron stopped her by tugging at the front of her shirt, her eyes pleading, so instead of speaking, Kitty stood up, pulling Cameron so she was tucked beneath her arm and safe against her side. She gave Sebastian one last sad look before sighing and turning around, walking towards the door and leaving her brother of three years to his thoughts.

Sebastian sat alone for what seemed like only a moment, only a blink of an eye, but in reality several hours had passed, and the sun was going down, casting eerie shadows into his room from the window. The familiar knock at his door did nothing to gain his interest, until the door opened to reveal Peter, who leaned against the door frame, his face pale and a heavy frown of worry on his lips.

Sebastian sat up quickly when he saw it was Peter and not someone else coming to lecture him, and his eyes grew wide when he realized how bad his older brother actually looked, “What the hell are you doing up?!”

“Jacob fell asleep,” Peter shrugged like it was a satisfactory answer, “Listen, Gil left a really long time ago, and he hasn’t come home yet, so I’m worried. Ben probably won’t let me leave, though, so I wanted to ask if you would mind looking for him. Just to make sure he’s okay?”

Sebastian’s frown seemed to grow heavier, and he forced himself to look away as severe concern and fear for his brother shot through him. His stubbornness kept him seated, though, and he shrugged, “Can’t Wolf go?” he asked in a monotone voice, hoping his fear wasn’t showing.

Peter just sighed heavily as he raised a hand to rub his forehead, wincing and leaning a bit more against the door frame, “He’s helping Jaimie with a school project,” he muttered, and Sebastian started chewing on his bottom lip, his concern growing a bit heavier.

He took a bit longer to reply than he wanted, clearing his throat before speaking, “You look terrible, Pete,” he said, “Go lay back down, okay? Before Jake finds you wandering around and drags you back.”

Desperation filled Peter’s eyes, “Please? I’d go myself if I could... he’s not answering his phone, or my texts... please?”

Sebastian finally gave a heavy sigh, his fear getting the best of him as he stood up, grabbing his coat from where it was hanging over the back of his desk chair and pulling it on before relenting, “Alright, fine. Only if you lay back down.”

Blatant relief had Peter’s body sagging, and he nodded with a soft sigh, “Yea...”

“Let me help you,” Sebastian hurried over to where his brother looked close to collapsing, wrapping his arm around his shoulders despite how he was shaking his had and waving his hand

“N-no, I’m fine, I can walk on my own.”

“Bull fucking shit,” Peter jumped at the voice and looked down the hallway to where Jacob was storming towards him, his hair a mess, and half of his dress shirt unrucked from his jeans, showing he’d only just woken up, probably startled awake by the fact Peter wasn’t with him, “If you don’t stop sneaking off everytime I go to sleep then I’ll stop sleeping!”

Peter bowed his head and pulled at the hem of his sleeve as Sebastian unwound his arm from around his shoulders, letting Jacob wrap his arms around the smaller man, scooping him off of the floor and cradling him as he continued to scold, “Ben said you needed to rest, Pete, you can’t just go running around.”

“I was worried about Gil,” Peter mumbled, lying his head against Jacob’s shoulder and staring down as Jacob hesitated, all too familiar with the statement.

“Why? What happened? Is he okay?”

“I dunno,” Peter admited sleepily, “He ran off after his and Seb’s fight and hasn’t come home yet. It’s getting dark out-.”

“Jesus Christ, fine!” Sebastian slammed his bedroom door closed and started storming down the hallway, “I’ll go get him, just go back to sleep before you fucking collapse!”

Jacob stared wide eyed after Sebastian as he started down the stairs, then looked down at Peter, who had a sly smirk on his lips, “What just happened?”

Peter giggled and wrapped his arms around Jacob’s neck, closing his eyes, “Just a meddling brother.”

Jacob arched an eyebrow as he turned around, walking towards Peter’s bedroom, “Is Gil even in any trouble?”

“Nah,” Peter sighed, rubbing his cheek against Jacob’s shirt, “He texted me a little bit ago saying he was with a friend and wouldn’t be home till around midnight.”

“So why make it sound like he was being kidnapped?”

“How else would I get Seb to go after him?”

Jacob grinned and chuckled, “Fair enough, but you’re still in a hell ton of trouble for wandering around when you should be resting.”

Peter wiggled a little in Jacob’s arms and leaned up, managing to kiss the corner of his lips, “I’m sorry.”

Jacob’s lips twitched into a partial smile, “Just don’t do it again. Promise?”

“I promise.”


Nothing was okay, not anymore. Everything he seemed to do made his situation even worse, and his stupid little brother wasn’t making it better. Gil was trying so hard to be the big brother, but Sebastian had changed. He was... darker, and it really scared Gil, but nothing he did would bring back the baby boy with bouncy pink hair. He was growing up, and Gil... was fading.

He had no excuse as to why he was doing what he was doing, hands in his pockets and hood pulled up and down to hide his blood shot eyes. It was cold out, but the thin sweater he was wearing did very little to keep him warm as he walked down the sidewalks. His original plan had been to just take a quick walk before returning home, giving both Sebastian and himself time to calm down before he tried to talk to the younger boy again. The place he ended up, though, was the alley way between a strip club and a bar in the red light district.

Several familiar faces met him, but seeing them had his stomach twisting into tight knots, his palms clamy and his breathing shallow as his steps slowed, his eyes flashing between the two leaders of the small group. Camilla Alvarez and Kaleb Vang. They were monsters, psychotic and sadistic freaks that Gil was completely terrified of, despite the fact he was older than them. He was smaller, weaker, less capable, and not as street wise.

Camilla Alvarez was the daughter of an illegal alien and a prostitue, seventeen years old with the mindset of a thirty year old defense lawyer with BDSM interests. Despite her cruelty, she was very beautiful. Her hair was waist long and black, braided into corn rows with streaks of white-gold twisted into each braid. Usually she would keep it down, but it was currently tied into a bun that cupped her neck.

Her eyes were dark brown and deep with sadistic malice, highlighted with heavy grey eyeshadow, fake lashes, and thick eye liner. Her full, plump lips were painted with dark lipstick that looked black from a distance, but was actually a very dark red shade of red, darker at the edges to highlight the rest of it. Her skin was a beautiful creamy bronze color, her face contorted almost angelically.

She was wearing a black button up shirt that seemed to have been cropped to her curves, but instead of being buttoned up it was open, revealing her crimson red lace D-cup bra and her full bust. The shirt sleeves were torn off at the shoulders, and there was a tattoo there on her bicep of the gang’s insignia. She wore black skinny jeans, but the right leg was torn off at her thigh, while the left had rips all down the front. She wore blood red heels with ghostly images of skeletons and demons designed around the heels and the toes, and her nails were manicured and long like claws, painted red and filed to fine points.

Kaleb Vang was less noticable than Camilla, but Gil knew he was just as monstrous, if not more so. His skin was pale, while his hair was black, shaved on the sides, with black studs in his ears and piercing black eyes. He wore a torn muscle shirt and blue jeans with rips in the knees, and his hands were in his pockets as he leaned against the wall beside two other familiar looking boys.

Gil recognized each of them from Wolf’s old delinquent possy, the ones that showed up at Jaimi’s school three years ago and nearly kidnapped Casey Ryan. He didn’t like the fact he knew Kaleb, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about it, so he simply inched forward, his hands in his pockets and his head bowed.

Camilla saw him first, and a wicked smile pulled at her red stained lips, like a vampire who just fed spotting her next victim, “Well looky here, boys,” she sang, turning to face Gil as he came closer, “It looks like the entertainment for the evening has arrived.”

Gil bit the inside of his cheek as he stopped, casting the taller girl an uneasy glance as he stood there with his shoulders hunched. He didn’t know why he was there, or how he ended up there, it just happened unconsciously, but whenever it did, bad things ended up happening.

“Aren’t you gonna speak?” Camilla asked sweetly, stepping forward, her heels clicking on the dirty ground, “I never said you couldn’t.”

“You never said I could,” Gil said swiftly, and Camilla awed, reaching out to hold his chin and lift up his head.

“Awe, see that pets? This one has been taught well. That’s why he’s my favorite,” she laughed, a laugh like church bells, “You’re right, little bitch, I didn’t tell you to speak,” in an instant, lusty rage was in her brown eyes, and her sharp nails were digging into Gil’s jaw, “So why the fuck did you?”

Gil began to shake, his eyes moving away so they weren’t locked with Camilla’s, but the evil woman didn’t appreciate any sort of rebellion, and showed her displeasure by taking a step back and slapping Gil across the face, her sharp manicured nails leaving four deep scratched across his left cheek.

He winced and staggered away with a quiet whine, raising a hand to touch his face softly, pulling it away to see blood on his fingertips. Fear beat through him as he realized what a stupid idea it had been to come here, but trying to run from it was just ignorant, so he hunched his shoulders and wrapped his arms around his stomach as he inched forward, back to Camilla, who stroked his face, the very tips of her nails scraping across the skin of his throat.

“Such a good boy,” she cooed mockingly, “Isn’t he a good pet?”

“It’s rude not to share your toys, Cammy,” Kaleb said suddenly, and Gil felt his fear increase as Camilla put a hand on his back, leading him towards the group.

“You’re right! Such a bad girl of me to forget!” she gave Gil a push, and he tumbled against Kaleb, who sneered down at him and grabbed onto his upper arms.

“Thirsty, Gil?” he just shook his head, but Kaleb laughed at him, holding him still with one hand as he motioned to one of his two friends, recieving a full bottle of whiskey that he bit the top off of before holding it under Gil’s nose, “Breath deep and take another guess, bitch. It’s not wise to say no to me.”

“Yea, cuz I’ve never said no to you before,” Gil hissed, but regretted it immediately when Kaleb’s black eyes flashed.

In any other mood, it was easy to tell that his eyes were rather dark, but when he got angry, his pupils dialated, and you could see red veins spreading through his iris. It was how Gil knew he’d fucked up and really made him angry. Kaleb grabbed the back of his neck tightly with his hand, holding him in place before a maniacal grin spread across his lips, his gaze wild.

“Can’t say no when your dead drunk,” he said, and his two friends snickered from beside Camilla, who rolled her eyes lazily as if what was happening was normal. Which, unfortunately for Gil, it was.

He hated alcohol, everything about it. The smell, the taste, how it made him forget, but that never stopped Kaleb, who tipped the bottle to his own lips, wrapping his fingers around Gil’s throat and pushing him back so he was pinned to the opposite wall, then pinched his jaw and added hard pressure until his mouth was open.

Gil made a pathetic noise as Kaleb bent down and closed his mouth over Gil’s, forcing the whiskey into his mouth, kissing him hard until he swallowed. He repeated this several times before stepping back, and Gil bent over, coughing horribly and shaking his head, tears in his eyes. He shuddered and fell to his knees, shoving two fingers into his mouth and pushing them back until he knew he’d throw up, the alcohol leaving his stomach before it could enter his system and mess with his mind.

“You dumb piece of shit!” Kaleb screamed, grabbing the back of Gil’s hair and yanking his head back as he swung his arm to the side, shattering the whiskey bottle against the wall before holding the edge to Gil’s throat. He whimpered and pinched his eyes closed, and Kaleb kissed his temple before pressing the sharp edge against the side of Gil’s neck, “Should’ve had a drink with me.”


It wasn’t at all what Sebastian had expected to find when he’d caught up with Gil, and for the longest time it had him simply standing and watching in horror as four people harassed and beat on his older brother, throwing him back and forth across the alleyway, pulling at his clothes and hitting him with broken bottles, pieces of wood, or broken pieces of concrete.

Gil’s hood had been torn from his head, his hair was ratted and messy, and there were four bleeding gashes on his face, as well as a heavily bleeding cut on the side of his neck, far too close to his artery for comfort. He looked so defeated as the black haired boy grabbed him and laughed, spitting on his face before shoving against him and sending him sprawling across the alleyway, where he collapsed onto the ground panting at the feet of a dark skinned young woman.

She lifted her heeled shoe and dug it into Gil’s side, eliciting a sharp cry of pain. The sound of his brother’s pained voice was what woke Sebastian up, and suddenly everything was covered by ablood red filter as he shot forward, leaning down so he could snatch up a metal bar that was lying to the side and flipping it in his hand before swinging it forward and hitting one of the four attackers in the middle of the back.

He crumpled to the ground with a sharp cry, and Sebastian swung the metal bar just as the second delinquent turned, earning a face-full of angry metal that shattered his teeth and broke his nose. His scream was louder than his companions as he fell to his knees, hands cupped beneath his bowed head, catching fragments of teeth as well as the blood that was pouring from his mouth.

“What the fuck?!” the black haired boy cried out and raised his hands, but Sebastian was in a deep blood rage, and no form of surrender was going to save the fucker who dared to harm the one he loved.

The young man barely dodged the attack, spinning on his heel and running before Sebastian could get another hit in. He dropped the bar he’d been using and instead grabbed the broken bottle the black haired boy had left behind. The edges were stained in blood already, Gil’s blood Bas guessed, and it only seemed to make his anger burn hotter as he stalked towards the dark haired girl.

She raised her hands up in front of her and eeped as she backed away from Gil, who was trying to push himself up, staring at the two delinquents who were on the ground. Sebastian stepped over him, and he looked up, gasping when he realized that his little brother was the one with blood on his hands.

Camilla continued to back away, complete terror on her face, an emotion Gil had never seen before, and her lips trembled as she whispered a word that didn’t really make much sense, “Vampire...”

Sebastian’s lips pulled up into a psychotic grin, and his arm lashed out to grab Camilla’s wrist, yanking her up against his chest and pressing the sharp edge of the bottle against the pulsing artery in her neck, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you now.”

Gil’s mouth fell open and his eyes grew wide as Camilla’s legs shook, “You’ll go to jail!”

“I said a good reason, you slut bitch,” Sebastian snarled, and Gil scrambled to his knees.

“Stop it now!” he demanded, but Bas ignored him completely as he held Camilla tighter and pressed harder on the weapon in his hand, “Sebastian Everet!” he froze, “Let her go now or I swear to god I... I’ll never forgive you!”

Sebastian was completely still as Gil’s words swam in his brain, then yanked at Camilla’s wrist so she was closer, making her squeak, “I’m not against hitting a woman,” he warned before releasing her, letting her stagger away, eyes wide and hand on her neck, “Now get out of her, daughter of a harlet,” Camilla gasped.

“You... y-you’ll regret this, Vampire!” she shrieked, “I-I know people! I know your friend! That stupid slut boy, what’s his name... Jewel! I know him! I can hurt him! I can ruin his life, contact his family, I can-!”

Sebastian moved quickly, pinning Camilla against the wall and slamming the broken bottle down so it stabbed into the palm of her hand, shards breaking off, making her scream and whimper as her make up ran, her wide eyes locked on Sebastian, filled with so much fear, like she knew Sebastian would kill her if he had the chance.

“Be careful, harlet,” he hissed, “Between the two of us, who can cause the most damage to the other, right now?” he twisted the bottle, and Camilla squealed.

“I’m sorry, please! Let me go, just let me go!”

“SEBASTIAN!”

Bas yanked the bottle back and stepped away, letting Camilla stagger away and sprint down the alley, sobbing and clutching her bleeding hand against her chest. After watching until she’d disapeared and steadying his heartbeat, Sebastian dropped the bottle, wiping his hands on his jeans and pulling the coat from his shoulders before turning to Gil.

He was kneeling on the ground, struggling to steady his breathing and clutching the front of his sweater as tears cascaded down his face. Sebastian knelt in front of him and draped thecoat over his shoulders to keep him warm, but Gil flinched back before gaping up at him.

“What the hell did you do?”

Sebastian pressed his lips together without looking at the two unconscious bodies lying near them, “They were hurting you-.”

“So fucking what?!” Gil screamed, pushing Sebastian back and staning up, staggering and groaning as he leaned against the wall, “You should’t have... you shouldn’t have hurt her... she’ll get you back... she’ll get me...”

“I won’t let her,” Sebastian said defiantly, stepping closer to Gil only for him to spin on him and back away.

“No?! How are you gonna stop her?! By killing her?!” he was trembling by now, and Sebastian bowed his head in guilt, “What happened to you?” Gil whispered, his tears falling faster, “You used to be... so sweet... so innocent... what happened?”

Sebastian’s head shot up, his eyes flashed, and he snapped, stalking towards Gil and pinning him against the wall, making him squeak, “You happened to me,” he snarled, and Gil’s eyes grew incredibly wide, “You’re the reason for fucking EVERYTHING Gil! I have tried so fucking hard to make it stop, but you’re always there! You make it worse!”

“What are you even talking about?!” Gil whimpered, and Sebastian’s hands rose up from where they were pressed against the wall, cupping Gil’s face.

Despite how angry he looked, his hands were gentle, shaking, as they raked through Gil’s hair, holding his face in place as his came closer, his eyes closing as he trapped Gil’s lips in a hot kiss. Gil’s eyes grew even wider than before, and his hands rose up to press against Sebastian’s chest, but he had no strength to push him away, and the heat from the kiss was making his knees buckle, tiny whimpers leaving him as he pinched his eyes closed.

Sebastian pulled away with a slow inhale, his eyes opening to show his heavy desire and adoration, but Gil was shaking, his sobs hitching in his throat as he tried to sink into the wall behind him, only fear in his eyes.

“You’re just like her,” he whispered in disbelief, and Sebastian’s brows drew together in confusion, “You’re just like mom!”

Gil shoved against Sebastian’s chest, making him stagger back, but not because he was strong enough to move him. In fact, there was little to no strength behind the push. What had Sebastian staggering was Gil’s words, the fear and disbelief in his eyes.

His heart sunk, and he bit his lip before walking forward slowly, making Gil back up so he was once again trapped against the wall behind him. Sebastian pressed his hands against the wall and dropped his head against Gil’s shoulder, his tears quickly staining his shirt as he whispered to his precious brother.

“I’m sorry...”

He then backed up, keeping his head bowed as he turned and hurried away from him, his tears falling faster until he was far away from that alley and running at top speed. When he reached Avery’s door he was barely keeping in his breakdown, until the door opened to show his only friend wearing short shorts that fit him unusually well and a long sleeved baggy sweater.

His head tilted to the side and he set his hands on his hips, “Sleep, sex or spirits?”

Instead of answering, Sebastian threw his arms around his small friend, his sobs breaking through him. Avery staggered back a bit and raised his hands to grip the back of Sebastian’s shirt, his eyes wide in shock as he turned his head to see Sebastian’s ear.

“Bas? What happened? Bas?”

“I...,” Sebastian shook his head, “I told him...”

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