Chapter 19: Reconciliations
I took a deep breath before I pressed the doorbell at Diane’s house.
I’ve been here before, of course; but not to do what I’m about to do tonight. I’m sooo nervous. What if they won’t even want to listen, much less face me?
A moment later, Aunt Rosa, Diane’s mom, opened the door. “Wish! Long time no see!” She smiled at me warmly. “Come in. Come in.”
“Good evening, Auntie.” I greeted as I let her push me inside. “Are Diane and the others here?”
“Yeah, we just finished having dinner.” She explained. “Though they didn’t mention that you were coming to their pajama party.”
“I…am actually not invited, actually.” I smiled sadly. “But I wanted to talk to them…before I go back…so…um…”
She shook her head, and smiled at me knowingly. “I understand. Come on, follow me.”
I followed her to the flight of stairs to Diane’s room; each step making me more and more nervous, that by the time we were in front of her room, all I wanted to do is to run back down and out of the house. I was really about to do it, but Diane’s mom beat me…
“Diane, Wish is here… She said she wants to talk to you girls.”
No answer immediately came; but when it did, my heart sank.
“Aunt Rose, can you tell her we’re not here?” It was Lovey. At her words, I felt my eyes starting to get wet. I knew shouldn’t have come here. Nothing will change anyway.
Suddenly I felt a hand squeeze mine. I looked at Aunt Rosa’s smiling face, and it made me feel a little bit better.
“Actually, she’s here with me…” She answered. “Why don’t you tell her yourselves…”
Another silence followed after that; although this time, I know that no answer will follow. And then Aunt Rosa also left, leaving me on my own; but not before giving my hand another squeeze and warm smile.
I took a very, very deep breathe, preparing myself for what I’m about to do. I had practiced this the night before, after I finished packing, again, my things. And it was so much easier in front of the mirror, of course. But I really have to do this, for the sake of saving our friendship.
“I…” I started, and struggled to continue. So I took another deep breathe and hit my face a couple of times, before starting again. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, or even see me…I understand. But please, just listen to me…for the last time. It doesn’t matter if you’ll forgive me or not after. It’s okay even if you just stay there, but just please listen to what I have to say…” When no answer came, or even some sort of sound, I took it as a ‘Yes’ and started talking to the door.
I let out a heavy breathe and confessed. “The truth is…I was…back in high school…I was in love with Matt…” I smiled sadly, trying hard not to let the butterflies ion my stomach affect me. Admitting to other people what my real feelings for Matt are is just on a whole new level than just saying it to myself; not to mention the fact that these other people witnessed how Matt really was to me before. “I know it sounds stupid…after all that he did, but it’s the truth.
“But it’s an unrequited love that’s not even worth hoping for, that before I left three years ago, I promised myself to change and forget him.”
“It wasn’t easy of course, but I did…I was not the loser Wishie Whiney anymore. I made friends, and even had a boyfriend. Like Jessica said, I came back looking like Barbie doll. And I was happy that I did. For the past three years, I had thought I had really erased Matt in my life…especially my feelings. But I was wrong…
“When I saw Matt again…and he told me that he wanted to be friends… I realized that I wasn’t really over him yet. I was so angry at him for even thinking that we can be friends, when he was actually the reason why I spent three years of my life with none; I was so angry that he can act like three years was enough just to forget everything…
“But Matt was persistent. He didn’t give up. He kept on stalking and pestering me. And then he confessed to me. And it’s just so good to be true. Especially when he said that it was love at first sight seven years ago. Crazy, right? I was like, ‘Bullshit! This bastard’s just playing with my feelings after all!’ I mean, how can you be in love with someone who you can only hurt every day from the moment you first talked to her. And I thought, I wanted nothing to do with him after all, but every passing day, little by little, my feelings for him resurfaced. I was in denial most of the time of course. Everything just seemed surreal, but it’s real and I just don’t know how to look at it.
“That day, when you asked me what’s really going on between Matt and me…and I said that I don’t really know, and that my feelings for him didn’t change…it was the truth; because back in high school, and until recently, although I wasn’t always conscious about it, I kept on loving and hating Mathew Roose. But now…now I can tell you honestly…his feelings for me are mutual.”
I swallowed and felt my throat to be dry.
“I’m going back to my university tomorrow, and I really don’t know when I’ll get back…that’s why I wanted to tell you now, before it’s too late.” I added, and waited for a few minutes, hoping that they’d try to stop me. But I guess it won’t happen. So I just wiped my tears dry, sighed and said my good-byes.
But just as I was about to take a step towards the stairs, Diane’s door suddenly opened, and three crying ladies appeared and immediately hugged me. Tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Wish…” Cried Lovey. “I’m so sorry for saying all those horrible words to you, even though we were the ones who didn’t know anything…”
“I’m so sorry for saying that I don’t want to see you again…I didn’t really mean it…” Railey cried even harder.
“I’m sorry, too. I accused you for something that we were actually the ones who did…” Diane added.
I just shook my head and smiled at them, returning the hug.
“Thank you.” Was all I said.
For a good while, we just stood there and hugged each other. No words were exchanged, because the tears we shed are enough.
And after what seemed to be forever, we wiped our faces and laughed.
“I think it was because we were jealous…because Matt noticed you, though you didn’t plan for him to; and was actually doing the exact opposite.” Admitted Railey.
“Not to mention, living with two hot guys…” Lovey added as she grinned at me.
“Speak for yourselves; I was speaking for my boyfriend’s brother…”
All of us just looked at Diane.
“…though he does deserve the push Matt gave him.” She grinned.
We all laughed then.
I can’t help but feel so blessed, having them as friends.
“Uh…guys…about what I said earlier…let’s keep it to ourselves, okay?” I smiled shyly. “I’m still not ready to admit it to the world.”
“Our lips are sealed.” Railey said, doing a zipping motion with her lips and fingers.
“With mighty bond and superglue.” Lovey on the other hand, just clamp her lips tightly together.
“My mom could perhaps be listening the whole time, you know…” Diane chuckled.
“Whoops?” Was all I said and we were laughing again.
“Come on! If this is your last night here, then we have to get this pajama party started early!” Diane pushed me towards her room the same way her mom did earlier.
“B-But I didn’t bring anything with me…”
“Don’t sweat it! We have everything.” Lovey rolled her eyes.
“Just relax and enjoy the night. We’ll make sure you’re going to have so much fun!” The other girl squelled and pushed Diane and me instead.
Not long after we were settled in Diane’s room though, her mom knocked at the door; and when Diane opened it, I was surprised when she had one of my overnight bags in her hands.
“Wish, a guy named Sora brought it for you…” Said Aunt Rosa.
“Sora?” That idiot! “I-I’ll be back!”
I hurriedly left the room, down the stairs and out of the house. If I hurry, I can still catch up to him.
“Sora!” I called at the top of my lungs when I got a glimpse of his back not too far from Diane’s house.
He stopped walking and waited for me to get to him. I was done with the girls, now its Sora’s turn.
I rested my hands on my knees and panted after I stopped in front of him; and when I finally caught by breathe, I stood up and looked at him straight in the eyes.
“Sora, I– ”
I blinked at him. What?
“I was out of bound on everything that I had said. Sorry.” He bowed his head towards me in apology.
“No! It was my fault!” I disagreed and vigorously shook my head. “You’re right. I was being selfish! I wasn’t really thinking about you and Haru…I was only thinking about myself! I was only making excuses all this time! You were right to get mad at me…I don’t blame you! In fact I– ”
I suddenly felt Sora’s forehead against mine, and then I was staring at his black orbs which the street light above us reflected.
“We were both wrong. Okay?” He smiled at me, and I smiled back.
I hugged him tightly, welcoming the warmth he radiates. “I missed you…”
He chuckled. “Me too.”
After a few minutes, I unwillingly let go of him. “You’ll be fine on your own?”
“Yeah.” Sora smiled, rolling his eyes at me.
“Thanks for my bag…”
“No problem.” He patted my head. “Don’t stay up too late, we have to leave before lunch.”
“You know that’s impossible!” I giggled. “We’re going to have a pajama party, not a group study.”
I smiled at him and gave him a hug again. “I love you, Sora. I’m so happy that you’re one of my best friends!”
“And I’m officially Friend-zoned…”
I immediately let go and looked at him guiltily. “I– !”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He shook his head while grinning. “I had it coming.”
“Don’t be. I want you to be happy. Just promise me that you’ll tell me if he starts being an as$. I’ll beat him up real good for you.”
“Okay…promise.” I tried to smile as genuinely as I can.
I was skipping as I head back to Aunt Marry’s house the following day. It was my first pajama party, and one of the best nights of my life! I found out a lot of things about the girls, like their most embarrassing moments and the guys they have hots with. I had so much fun that I really felt sorry I had to get back already.
They promised they’d be at Aunt Marry’s to say good-bye though, and we promised to keep in touch. I’m just sooo happy this morning that I don’t think anything could go wrong.
“Wiwi, wait!” Called a voice from behind me. When I turned, I saw Matt running to my direction.
“What?” I sighed.
Well, this is it. I knew this would happen, and I know what I had to do. I just hope I’ll be able to pull this up as planned.
“We have to talk.” He said seriously as he stopped in front of me.
“Yeah, I guess we should…” I shrugged. Now, how do I start it again? “What do we have to talk again?”
“About us.” He took my hands in his, and I felt a nice tingling sensation from it that run throughout my body. It was just too much for me to take, that I just had to take my hands back.
“There’s no ‘us’. You’re forgetting that all of these are ‘fake’. We’re not in a ‘real’ relationship.”
“I told you I’m going to take it seriously, Wiwi.” He shook his head. “Never once did I think of our relationship to be fake.”
“That’s your choice.” I turned to leave, but he stopped me.
“Is it because of Sora?” Matt’s voice turned cold, and he was looking at me intensely.
“Say what?” What is it now?
“A lot of people saw you last night…with Sora…”
I sighed at his words.
Not Again. The people in this town are unbelievable!
“Will you stop it? You’re not even in the position to get jealous!”
“So, he’s really the reason?”
“No! He’s not!” I growled.
“Then what is?”
“I know now that you’re really not conspiring with Kenichi. So there’s no reason for this ‘relationship’ to go on. You know that, that was the only reason why I even thought of it, right?” I explained. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before; sorry for accusing you. But that’s it. Just forget everything that happened, okay?”
“You know I can’t.” His tone was a bit higher than normal that I know he’s getting frustrated. “You know what I really felt about you. I’m serious, Wish.”
I know, Matt. I know.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Please…give me a chance to prove it.”
“Matt, please…” I sighed weakly and just looked at my feet. How do I admit it? My feelings…
When he didn’t respond like I was expecting, I looked at his face and saw that he was looking at me like I grew wings in my back.
“You…called me by my…first name…”
I raised a brow. “You prefer ‘Melvin’?”
“No! I mean…I just can’t believe it…”
“Don’t react like that on everything! You’re being ridiculous!” I growled in exasperation.
I sighed. “If I give you the reason, will you leave me alone?”
“Depends.” He shrugged.
Well, that’s expected.
I took a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eyes. “I’m going to tell you something you’re not going to believe, but you have to because it’s the truth…” I said, giving back his exact words to me.
“W-Wiwi…” He looked so panicked. If I wasn’t serious with what I’m about to say, I’d really laugh at him.
“I’m in love with you.”
He just stared at me.
Hmph! Now you know how I felt when you confessed to me. Idiot.
“Unlike yours, it wasn’t love at first sight.” Somehow, this is really embarrassing.
I raised my palm in front of his face to stop him from saying anything. I have to finish what I have to say or I’m not going to ever…
“It’s because of these feelings that I can’t be around you. Because I know that the more I see you, and spend time with you…the more that these feelings will grow. And it’ll be harder for me…after all, these feelings won’t be returned.”
“I was in denial these past few weeks. You can’t blame me if I was…after all that happened. But that’s all in the past now.” I smiled at him, somehow sadly. “Please, if you still considered me a friend, the least you can do for me, is to stop pretending to have romantic feelings for me and just leave me alone. Please forget everything that happened for the past weeks. And just spend the rest of your stay here making memories with that Tiffany…”
I just had to use the Tiffany-card! I can’t believe this! But it can’t be helped…I’ve been dying to do it!
I don’t even know how this Tiffany looked like, but I hate her so much already! I wanted to ask Matt what his real relationship with her, but that would just be too much. I already looked so pathetic as it is.
Matt just looked at me with his open mouth, and wide eyes.
I chuckled to myself, though I know that my face is a perfect picture of a broken hearted girl.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me.” I sighed sadly. “Thanks for everything, Mathew Roose. You made my vacation one of the best moments of my life.” I smiled at him like I was trying so hard to do so.
I turned to leave again. And this time, Matt didn’t make any move to stop me.
Wishlyn Marry Anderson made her move.
It’s your turn now, Mathew Melvin Roose.
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