I have never been successfully hypnotized. Dave and I took a trip to Atlantic City a few years back; I embarrassed a hypnotist working the boardwalk. The guy was convinced I was planted in the crowd to screw with him.
I wanted to play along. Something so simple I couldn't do. Others were influenced to act like chickens and make weird sounds but not me. It’s a damn good thing that guy didn’t get me under. Who knows what I would have done to that crowd of people.
“Okay let’s get started Calynn. We have a nice couch, a fluffy pillow, and a dark scarf to cover your eyes. Let’s make sure your vision is completely obscured; it should help you be less aware of your surroundings.
"I invited a few people to help us today. Ann, of course, she is experienced in such matters, and Linda her protégé.” Carl explained his process calmly, all the while, speaking directly to me as if no one else was in the room.
Carl has a kind face but a burdened expression. He looks like a man who has seen and heard many things he would rather forget. You could see the fascination and excitement in his eyes, but there was some reservation. We had a long discussion the night before about the process he uses. My controlled mind would slip into the background and allow my raw, unfiltered mind to surface.
Carl explained how as my ability returned to its normal level that it might become impossible for anyone to hypnotize me. I suppose there are hidden places we never go and a level of submission that we never succumb to. I was afraid to see what festering mass lay at the bottom of my vault of secrets.
Gerald was there to observe and coordinate the recording of the session; he looked worried and hadn’t been silent about the fact he wanted to proceed medically. His wants must have been overruled by Richard, or maybe it was Carl that convinced him to try a new approach. It was hard to tell who was in charge these days.
Gerald outranked Richard, but Carl was a civilian; I had no idea where he fell in the pecking order. So far, the brain expedition was just like any of Gerald’s experiments except for the needles. No drugs and no needles this was already better in my opinion.
“Okay, Carl I’m as ready as I’m going to be.” I sighed openly as I closed my eyes and nestled myself down into the firm, leather couch. I could hear chairs scooting as everyone shuffled around the room, making their last-minute adjustments.
I will admit that I hate being blindfolded and I am not comfortable sharing my deeply hidden horrors, but if it has to be done, I’m glad to be with this group of people. I was thankful David wasn’t here to see any of it.
There was probably no way to rattle Carl. Gerald had seen way too much of my body and soul for me to be embarrassed by him hearing anything regardless of how awful. Ann deals with dead people and is most likely beyond shock.
Linda, I am not sure of. I hope she has had some life experience to prepare her. If not, I may be providing her with that life experience today.
I reconciled all the opposition in my mind piece by piece and began to breathe slowly, calming myself and trying to relax.
“Calynn the only doorway is in front of you. No one will enter while we are working. I won’t allow it. You are safe. You are in control of the room. Nothing will happen without your cooperation. You have my word. You won’t harm anyone. I won’t allow that either.” Carl knew exactly what my last reservations were and what to say to soothe them.
Once I was calm, Carl took my hand in his and began lightly brushing the skin on my arm. I could feel the bristles of the fancy clear brush he was using. He explained how he needed to link me to my body firmly for a short time, get me out of my head so he could sneak past my heightened senses.
Self-preservation for someone like me is complicated. Carl explained it would remain even after the implant was in place. It is a wall, a boundary that's never crossed. Survival skills are necessary for people who live with unusual occurrences.
The ability not to casually mention you can see their aura drip from every surface they touch, or that transparent people talk to you at all hours of the day and night. Oh, and by the way one of your dead relatives has a message for you.
There is no way to work a warning from a person’s dead uncle into a casual conversation. Besides, no one would believe you unless what you do is physical. Moving a salt shaker through thin air gets people’s full attention. They believe you once you show them proof, but now they are excited and terrified. To be feared is a dangerous thing.
“Calynn can you hear me?” Carl questioned in a hushed tone.
“Yes, but I feel panic. I’m afraid. Shouldn’t I be sleepy?” I questioned.
“I want you to listen to the bells. Listen carefully to the full tone and think back to when you were small; think back to when you were very young. Breathe slowly, and we will start to count down from forty.”
Carl’s voice was melodic just like the bong of the bells, “Thirty, twenty-nine.” He counted and stroked my arms with the soft bristles.
I could feel his pulse in my palm it was in perfect rhythm with his voice. “Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen”
It was dark, and I allowed myself to concentrate only on the tone of the bells and black space inside my mind. “Ten, nine, eight, seven.” As Carl counted and brushed, I could see images flash in my head.
“One. What were you told never to talk about Calynn? What secrets were you told to keep?”
“I can’t tell you. Don’t ask me this thing.” I could hear the whisper of an answer come from my mouth, but I didn’t willingly allow it.
“It is okay to talk to me Calynn; I understand you and everything you can do. You can tell me anything.”
“No, you’re a stranger. You want something. Everyone will try to hurt me.” I growled the response and felt my shoulders rise from the couch.
“Calynn do you remember the bells, the sound, the tone it carries far across the room and out into the blue sky and passes into the black void of space. Out into the universe.”
“Yes, I can see it float away. It’s beautiful pink and orange and gold.”
“Follow the sound. Watch it float further away. Now tell me, what you are never supposed to talk about Calynn. I can see the energy that the bell sounds to make. I will understand all of it. You will not frighten me. I will not harm you.”
“I can’t say things about the colors in the air; people won’t understand. We can’t say words that little girls don’t know. Never talk out loud to people that shimmer, no one else can see them, it frightens people. No one likes it, that I know stuff.” The voice was mine, but it had my mother’s tone and cadence. I had forgotten her voice. I hadn’t heard it in years. “Do you know about the shimmery people. Don’t they frighten you?”
“Yes, I know all about the colors and the people who shimmer; you can tell me everything. I understand it all. Tell me what you remember Calynn. Did anything bother you about the colors or the people no one else could see?”
“The colors were so thick in the air that sometimes I couldn’t see through them to watch my cartoons. People touch things, and their color drips off like paint. I don’t like to touch it. I know things about them after I touch their colors.
"I don’t like to touch people either, some are so sad, and they don’t say with their mouth what they say in their head. Some of them say awful things in their heads; it’s hard to sleep after touching some people. I stopped telling them who was calling on the phone it worried Grandma. She was afraid; it made her feel bad to be afraid of me. I didn’t want her to feel bad.
“There was a lady in Grandma’s house, she only speaks in Spanish. I don’t understand her, but Grandma knows Spanish words. I told her what the lady said to me as best I could, and I showed her where the lady was sitting. Grandma was unhappy; she had a priest come to pray with her and put smoke all around the house. Grandpa thought it was fun. He would ask me what the lady told me. He liked to hear what the ghost lady said. He laughed and talked Spanish back to her.”
Carl smoothed the brush over my skin as I continued to ramble on. I could hear my voice as I watched the images flash across the blank space in my mind.
It was hard to narrate fast enough. I vaguely heard fingers snap above me, light steps on the floor and the familiar whir of the machines in the background.
All at once I fell away from the delicate noise in the room and drowned in the images racing through my mind.