I wish I could say that I avoided him. I wish I could say that when I say him, I was filled with guilt. But truthfully the very next chance I got to be alone with him, I didn’t hesitate for a second.
It was month end and Shelley C had to take her son to attend a school function with her son. I gallantly and foolishly offered to finish off the work she had pending because I knew TGWTDG was staying late to update an online debate he had started on our website.
I was an idiot to offer to stay late. Not only because I knew I was supposed to stay away from TGWTDG but also because Who the hell offers to do more of the work they already hate?
So there I was sitting at my desk and swearing, outloud as I worked.
He came in and sat across from me without saying a word. I didn’t look up but I recognized his shoes (something brown orange and ridiculous by Diesel).
He waited until I logged off and shut down Shelley’s machine. And then he pulled me up and kissed me.
We kissed like that for I do not know how long but long enough for the air around us to change. There was something raw and unrelenting pushing down on us. As his hands skimmed my body as I pressed myself hard up against his desire, I could feel it taking over. This must be the lust or more accurately the lust that destroys that our priest was always lecturing us about.
Is this what Adam felt when Eve offered him the apple? They say she deceived him but I don’t agree. I think that sometimes you want someone or something so bad, you don’t care about the consequences. You could know that death was waiting for you behind the door and still open it with a smile. I knew I was making a grave mistake but it felt so good, it felt so right.
Removing our clothes was not nearly as sexy as the porno’s would have you believe but it fun, we laughed as I couldn’t get my pants over my boots and when TGWTDG tried to help we both tipped over and fell to the floor. Still laughing we kissed laying there, with all his clothes off and mine off half way. We made love then. He looked right into my eyes the moment before her entered me. I could have said no, I should have said no. but I didn’t.
And in that moment I remember thinking the strangest thing
“this must be what my husband felt like when he cheated on me…”
And it didn’t make me feel better, it made me feel worse.
Afterwards as I busied myself with getting dressed, TGWTDG regarded me warily.
“Are we okay? Are you mad at me?”
I brushed him off with the excuse of needing to get home and told him not to worry. When I got to my car I sat in it and cried and cried.
Revenge is not sweet,
Revenge is trying to put yourself back together by breaking someone else
No matter how good it feels while you do it
You now have to carry on living with the broken pieces of someone else holding you together…