I dream of him. I dream of him every night. First I see happy memories, where we laugh, talk, spend time with each other, like it had been all the time, when I still lived with him. The feelings, the desire is always there when I see his face. But as quick as the good reminders come as fast they disappear and are replaced by a bad one. A particular memory; my last memory of him. My last memory of Colton.
I wake up again drenched in sweat from the nightmare I have for weeks now. It’s always the same one, where it starts with a good memory and ends with a horrible one. The only difference is that the horrible one is real. And it had been even more horrible tonight, because it seemed that my subconsciousness knew what day it was; The day of Colton’s funeral.
Only the thought of it brought tears back into my eyes and I tried hard to fight them. I had cried buckets of water the last few weeks and they never seemed to have an end. But now I had to be strong, strong for all the people that shared the same feeling. Because we all missed Colton. The days that had passed by without him seemed darker than ever and I would be reminded of that for all my life. It didn’t help that I dreamed of the memory every night.
It also felt like yesterday when my mother destroyed every good thought of her as a parent.
“Colton,” I screamed as my eyes left my mother’s and he was the only thing I saw. How he was lying there on the ground and how much blood he was starting to lose. It was the most terrible sight I had ever seen and I immediately crouched down next to him.
The next few seconds happened in a blur, but I could still make my mother’s words out, before she just left like that.
“Celia, don’t be sad. He wasn’t even your perfect soulmate. I only tried to make you believe that. I was the one, who helped you to start liking each other,” the woman told me, though I didn’t spare her a glance. It didn’t matter to me. The only thing that mattered was Colton and he was slowly dying in my arms.
It also happened on it’s own that only Colton and I were frozen in time. It had been a reflex and for a second I hoped that maybe with my power also Colton’s wound would stop bleeding, however it didn’t. I could stop time for people, though I couldn’t change something that already happened.
“Colton,” I said again and again and he was breathing heavily. He was trying to hold his eyes open I could see it. See how the life slowly disappeared out of his eyes. No, I couldn’t except that. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was Colton, the guy I cared so much about. Even if we weren’t soulmates, it didn’t matter. He was one of the best people I met in my life and if someone deserved to live it was definitely him.
“Celia, it’s okay. Please don’t cry,” Colton was now telling me, while he put his hands on my cheek with his last power. I immediately put my own one over his and this was also the moment I notice that I was indeed crying.
“No, you can’t die. Colton I,” I stuttered out and he sadly smiled at me. He knew it and I knew it. There wasn’t anything we could do. There wasn’t anything someone else could do, because my mother had aimed straight into his heart. The only thing that was holding him alive was the fact that he was superhuman and his willpower.
“Shhhh,” he now said in a soothing voice and I would never know what was going through his head that moment. How he could be so calm and selected.
“Listen to me. Okay?”
I only nodded at his words and hold tight onto him, because I was sure that if it wasn’t for his strong hold on me, I would have definitely broken down. Also because I never wanted to let go of him.
“Celia it doesn’t matter to me what she said,” first confusion followed his statement, until I got that he was talking about my mother. I shook my head immediately, he should have never worried about something that had came out of her mouth.
But he ignored it and just went on. “Celia I love you. I don’t care if we are not soulmates, because I deeply love you. I don’t believe that I have feelings for you, because of her. I fell for you, because how could I not. I never thought that I would meet someone like you. Someone that could make me smile the way you do, just by giving me a look. In my eyes I’m the luckiest guy, because I got the chance to get to know you. To see you laugh, even when I told one of the worst jokes ever or when you smiled just for me, when I walked into the room. It made me happy, happier than I had been in a long time. And I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret ever falling in love with you. You are my first love and I don’t mind you being my last one,” Colton told me and my heart hurt like crazy hearing his words and knowing that they were probably one of his last ones.
And I loved him two. Even if everything was confusing and I was standing between two guys. I still loved Colton in my own kind of way. He was special and deserved it to be loved.
“I love you too Colton,” I said under tears, which I tried to wipe a way so I could see him more clearly.
He smiled that lovely smile of his that I so loved and for a moment everything was okay. It were just the two of us and we were in our own little world. However this wasn’t how it was supposed to be forever and when Colton suddenly began to breath even less I panicked, holding him like my life depended on it; like if I was just holding him tight enough he wouldn’t disappear.
“That is all I need to know,” he then said to me with a smile, while stroking my hair lovingly. However his smile soon disappeared and a more serious look appeared.
“Celia. I,” he stuttered out and the pain he didn’t want to show at first, made it’s way onto his face.
I didn’t knew what to do and just mumbled unnecessary words. Words said to calm him down and get some pain away. But it was clear that no words could heal that. Though it kind of seemed to calm him down a bit and he began to talk again. How many seconds or minutes had passed by I didn’t know. I only knew that it was too short. I wanted more, more time with him.
“Listen, there is also something you need to know,” he said, while deeply looking into my eyes. Hoping I would understand everything he would tell me.
“I went for another search into that room to try and find something out. And with your own mother stabbing me, it suddenly made sense what I read. Go into the room again and look through the cabinets, especially the own at the end in the right corner. I hide the key in the castle. It will help you out to understand so many things,” he told me and I had to promise him not to forget his words.
Though at the moment I didn’t want to think about my future and what I could find out. I didn’t want to lose the last minutes/seconds with Colton and I was ridiculous by still hoping somewhere deep in me, that he was going to be fine. But suddenly his grip went lighter and he could barely open his eyes.
“Colton,” I screamed desperately for him to keep his eyes open.
“I love you Celia, please tell Chen and my mom that I’m sorry and that I love them,” he said, before he closed his eyes forever. I then shook his body, his lifeless body I had to admit to myself when he never opened his eyes again. Another scream left my lips, but nothing changed. He was dead. Colton was dead and it was my fault, because I couldn’t protect him. Protect him from my own mother. He would never open his eyes and smile for me, because his lifeless body was hanging in my arms and I was drenched in his blood. The blood that only stopped coming out, when he had left our world.