Chapter 14: Some Scars are Never Meant to Heal
I wake up, well wake up isn’t really the right phrase since I never really got any sleep. I roll over rubbing my eyes, trying to shield them from the light that is now pouring through the windows. I groan sitting up and running my hands through my hair. I look around the small room sighing . I swing my legs over the side of the bed, and push myself to standing; swaying slightly. Just as I do Doctor Kirkland walks through the door mumbling something while looking at his clipboard.
“Good morning Paisley.” he says as he notices me.
“Good morning Dr. Kirkland” I mumble turning my attention to the floor.
“And how are you feeling this morning?” he asks as I wrap my arms around myself and try to keep the tears in as the memories from yesterday resurface. I just shake my head, not trusting my voice to respond. I feel warm strong arms wrap around me and I completely fall apart. Tears begin falling from my eyes as I can’t bare to hold them in anymore. Dr. Kirkland just rubs small circles in my back, holding me close. “It’ll all be okay, I promise it will all be okay.” he whispers in my ear, giving me a little squeeze before releasing me. He sits me down on my bed before sitting beside me and taking my hands. “Paisley, I know yesterday I told you that you could go to therapy today but if you’re not feeling up to it…”
I cut him off “No, no it’s fine.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks and run my hands through my hair again. “I can...I can do this.”
Dr. Kirkland nods before standing “Well before you go I want to do a routine, little check up.” I nod in response. “Alrighty then Ms. Paisley can I ask you to roll up your sleeves for me?” I am a bit taken aback and instinctively cross my arms. The doctor just looks at me questioningly so I stretch out my left arm and roll up my sleeve exposing the white bandages; stretching from my wrist to my elbow. He nods before pulling at the bandages. I wince a little; squinting my eyes and looking away. He just continues pulling at the bandages lightly until my forearm is fully exposed. I slowly turn to look at it. There is a bright pink scar spanning the whole area. I feel tears pricking at my eyes as he gently prods at the scar. I wince again and he stops. He walks across the room and gets a new set of bandages before coming back and re wrapping my arm. “Well, it seems to be healing nicely, and the pain should be going away soon enough.”
“Thank you” I mumble softly. Doctor Kirkland smiles weakly before taking my hand and pulling me up from my seat on the bed.
“Well come on then” he says “I’ll walk you to therapy.”
“Thank you” I say again blushing deeply. As we begin walking down the hallway I start thinking ‘oh my god what am I going to do when I see Derek. Oh god I bet he hates me. What if I have to sit next to him, or worse talk to him. I would actually die if…’ I begin breathing hard and have to stop walking. I place my hands on my knees and just wait, helpless, till the panic fades.
“Are you alright?” The doctor asks. I just nod in response my breathing still rapid. After a few minutes I can stand up straight and am able to finish the walk to the therapy room. “Here you are, and ah here is Doctor Quinn.” A tall, leggy, blond woman stands from her desk and walks over.
“Doctor Kirkland” she says in a high pitched voice, embracing the man. He returns the hug and after a few moments they step back. “Is this our new case?”
“Yes Doctor Quinn this is our newest patient Paisley.”
She reaches out her hand “Hi Paisley it’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Quinn the hospital’s psychiatrist.”
I nod and shake her hand “it’s nice to meet you.” I say quietly.
To Dr. Kirkland she says “I’ll take it from here Arthur.” He nods and leaves the room after giving me a little smile which I can’t bring myself to return. “Why don’t you have a seat? Everyone should be getting here soon.” She walks me to one of the chairs positioned in a small circle. I take a seat next to the chair that I can only assume is Dr. Quinn’s. As she sits and begins scribbling madly on a big yellow legal pad paying me no mind. Pretty soon a familiar blond walks into the room.
Upon seeing me his eyes light up “Hey Paisley how’s it shakin?” Matt asks sliding into the seat next to me.
“I’m okay Matt, how are you?”
He smirks flopping his bangs out of his eyes “Ya know, tired, hungry, just itching to..”
“Matthew!” Dr. Quinn suddenly pipes up “Save it for session.” she says wagging her pen at him.
“Yes sir!” he says saluting her and slinging his arm over the back of my chair. I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips. Matt throws a wink my way and I only laugh louder.
Just then Jamie skips into the room her pigtails swinging behind her. “Paisley!” she screeches as she runs over and gives me a hug “I’m so glad that you’re here. Melly said you wouldn’t come.” she pouts.
I hug her back before saying “I wouldn’t miss it for the world princess.” she jumps off my lap and into the chair next to Matt. She swings her legs lazily while twirling one of her pigtails and humming. A small smile creeps onto my face at the little girl’s actions.
Then Anabella storms into the room and plops herself down in a chair. A smirk slides onto her face as she crosses her legs and arms. Matt leans over and whispers into my ear “Good Morning to you too Miss. Sunshine.” I snort loudly and clamp a hand over my mouth as Dr. Quinn gives me an amused look over the top of her pad of paper. I flash back an apologetic smile before she turns her attention back to the paper.
Just then I look up toward the door and see the one person I had hoped wouldn’t show up. Derek stands sheepishly in the doorway, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I turn my eyes away and begin playing with my fingers. “Hey” Matt says as Derek walks over and they exchange a high five.
“Hey dude” he says softly sitting in the only chair left, which was across from me.
I manage to look up into his eyes and my heart breaks. ‘His eyes, they look so sad. So torn.’
Just then Dr. Quinn claps her hands and says “Okay since we have a new friend, i’ll explain what’s going to happen. Each person will get a turn to get up and talk about how they’ve been feeling about what has put them here. Would anyone like to start for us?” she asks scanning the circle. I hear the sound of a chair moving back and all of our attention turns to the person who had just stood.
“I’ll go first” Derek says, before looking right at me and saying “You deserve to know why i’m acting the way I have been.” He turns to Dr. Quinn “I’m ready.”