Gone Before Tomorrow

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Chapter 19: Kiss Me Hard and Hold Me Tight

Paisley

I feel his arms wrap tighter around my waist and I press myself closer to him. On instinct I wrap my arms around his neck and entangle my fingers in the soft hair at the base of his neck. After a minute or so of kissing him I have to pull away and catch my breath. “Wow, that was...wow.” I say panting and placing my forehead to his.

A wry smile twists his lips “See” he says “I told you were in love with me.” His smile widens and I roll my eyes before trying to playfully push him away. His grip on my waist tightens so I can’t move. His face becomes serious as he says “I love you too.”

My breath hitches in my throat but I manage to spit out “How can you love me too if I didn’t say that I loved you?”

A small smile tugs at the edges of his lips as he pulls me into a hug. He runs one hand through my hair before bringing his lips to my ear and whispering “You didn’t have to.”

I grip his shirt tightly and bury my head in the crook of his neck. “You’re insufferable ya know that?” I say softly, keeping my head hidden so he can’t see the flames racing up my cheeks.

He lets out a soft laugh before saying “Yeah I know.” He moves back slightly and I let out a little groan in protest. I see him roll his eyes as he tilts my chin up so I have to look at him.

“Whaaat?” I whine softly.

“I-I just wanna look at you.” A soft pink blush rises to his cheeks as his eyes roam my face. He reaches up and softly tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

I giggle “Wow. You really do love me.” all he does is nod and cup my cheek with his hand. I lean into his hand and close my eyes. A large yawn escapes me as I force my eyes open again. Derek looks down at me with a look that I can’t place. “What?” I ask softly “What’s wrong?”

“You’re tired”

“Of course I am, if you hadn’t noticed it is now almost one in the morning.” I give him a small smile before pulling him back to me and hugging him tightly. Standing on my tip toes so that I can reach his ear I whisper “I love you Derek.”

He runs a hand through my hair and whispers back “I love you Paisley.”

With a dreamy sigh I pull away from him and give his chest a little push. “Now go on, Dr. K or anyone else for that matter would freak out if they came in here and found us in bed together.”

He raises an eyebrow “Whoa won’t at least take me out to dinner before you try to get me in the sack?”

I roll my eyes at him “You know perfectly well that that’s not what I meant.”

“Now did I? Did I really?” he asks with a smirk.

I pick up a pillow and chuck it at his head “Out now!” I whisper shout.

He easily catches the pillow and calmly puts it back. Getting so close that our noses are practically touching he says “Good night princess.” I close my eyes and lean in, only to be met by air. I open my eyes and see Derek looking down at me with a shit eating grin on his face. I pout a little and then his lips are on mine again, but only for a moment. When he pulls away I let out a little huff. He laughs and squeezes my hand once. “See you later.”

“See ya.” I say weakly at his retreating form.

Once he is gone I flop onto my bed and draw the covers all around me. A giant smile forms on my face as I let out a squeal. I hide my face in a pillow to try to muffle the sound. Oh my god he likes me! Holy shit he doesn’t just like me, he loves me! Score! my thoughts race I kick my legs in the air like a child and burrow deeper into my covers. I lay on my side and look at one of the barely visible white walls. Letting out a soft sigh I close my eyes and prepare to go back to sleep. He’s lying. My eyes pop open and my breath catches in my throat. What? I think back. He doesn’t love you, hell he probably doesn’t even like you. How could he? There are girls far prettier, smarter, and generally more appealing than you. So, why would he chose you? I can’t breathe, and have to sit up in bed. I place a hand over my heart and try to get air to my burning lungs. I breathe in and out quickly but it does no good. My lungs are still burning and a scream is bubbling up in my throat. You never answered my question. The voice says why would he chose you?

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know” I manage to squeeze out between gasping breaths. Exactly, you don’t know. And if you don’t know why he should like you over the millions of girls that are better than you then how could you possibly deserve him? My vision is getting fuzzy and my brain can’t think right. I grope the wall for the nurse call button and press it frantically. Ha you’re pathetic! The voice roars in my ears. All I can do is clasp my chest and shake my head. I try to speak. I try to call out to someone, anyone. But I can’t. There is no air. I can’t think, I can’t speak, I can’t breath. I press the call button again as I sink back down into my bed. Help me please I think my eyelids getting heavy. There is no one who can help you now. It says. Then all I see is black.

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