The spell of loss
What is lost or maybe gone
can cause you grief and sorrow
Just remember that sometimes
What is given will be rewarded
And given back ten folds.
The witch sighed and placed her small pouch of magical herbs upon the shelf where it belonged, her task was done but she felt far from sure about the result. She had boasted that she could put an end to that damn woman’s reign, strip her of her powers. But what if she was wrong? The men who had asked for this spell were powerful and evil and she had maybe been too confident in her own skills. The spell itself would work, she was sure of it. But would the result be what she had hoped for? She was far from certain, there were stronger forces at work than herself and she was far from certain that the old legends had any truth to them.
She shivered for a second, the punishment would be a cruel one if she failed but she had some powers too, she could probably keep herself safe at least for a while. And if she had luck and the spell did its work like she had anticipated? The reward was greater than anyone could guess; those goddamn unicorn worshipers had condemned her to a life in the shadows, as an outcast. It would be her ultimate revenge, to take that power from them, the link between them and their deity.
Oh, that woman would not give in to the spell easily, she would fight it, but in the end she would do what it required of her and then.... The witch giggled, it was beautiful! The irony was beyond anything she could have conjured up by herself but of course she was the only one with the power to make it happen. She could only cross her fingers and hope. And if it did work they would be left more vulnerable and her new found friends would be very grateful in deed. Chuckling with laughter she left the small temple and smiled in anticipation of the result of the mischief she had done, this would be marvelous to behold. And none of their so-called healers had the power to find her and guess the hidden truth behind her spell. Oh glorious day, this would be a day to remember.
The sunshine slipped through the branches of the high trees like blades of silvery light, the forest was very calm this morning and some deer were grazing calmly on a meadow near a creek. The animals were alert and aware of their surroundings at all times and the sudden sound of hoof beats made them race toward the safety of the shadows.
A small group of riders came into view, they rode tall slender horses of the breed their people bred and all carried weapons. And it was obvious that they had seen battle because a couple of the riders were wounded and they were covered with mud filth and blood. The front rider was a tall woman with long silvery hair and sparkling green eyes, she turned her mighty white stallion toward the creek and signaled the rest of the group to stop. She carried two swords across her back and wore a light armor of boiled leather and some chain mail. She was a leader and it was clear in the way she acted and organized everything. The horses drank deeply and they gave the two wounded men some water too, she stood there and waited patiently and tried to hide her impatience.
Zheera of the clan of Enrah was a living legend, a true priestess of their deity and a warrior like no other. She had been found abandoned with a pack of wolves by an old human warrior who had raised her together with a wise centaur and when they died she joined her people again and soon became the leader of the most important of the twelve elven clans of the free lands.
And her presence had been needed, the free peoples of the land were under threat from a tyrannical warlord who wanted to conquer everything and everyone and his attacks were countless and vicious. And yet with the clan of Enrah at their backs the free peoples managed to fight him off every time. She had turned despair to hope and weakness to strength and the dark situation had turned in their favor now. Rumors told that soon there would be a final battle and then the tyrants head would be only a trophy among others hanging in the great hall of the free clans.
Zheera was the leader they all had wanted and the responsibility was a heavy cloak upon her still young shoulders. She had only seen ten times two and five summers and already her reputation was one of great courage and strength. She smiled toward the other warriors within the group and petted her horse, she was glad this small fight was over with; there were more serious things to be concerned about. Their scouts told of increased activity along the borders to the north and some had claimed that the tyrant had brought wizards to aid him in his conquest. Zheera hated that kind of magic and she feared the results if this were true. She was a leader and the face of the resistance and to a degree where her own person had become something of which she did not care. She had a reputation for being a creature with no feelings and no fear. She never sought the joys of life as others; all she lived for was her role as a leader and the ultimate victory over their foes.
The wounded men were helped back upon their horses and they all hoped to be back at their small city within a couple of hours. They were tired and hungry and their horses needed to be taken care of too. Many of the animals had been hurt too and to these elven warriors their steeds were like their siblings and more precious than gold or silver. Zheera felt a little weird, for a moment she felt a chill running down her back and she almost stumbled when she was turning to grasp the stirrup of her saddle. And did she hear someone chanting something? Very distant?
She shook her head and grabbed hold of the saddle horn and pulled herself up but not without effort. Strange, she usually never had to use any strength to manage to get back on her horse, had she been fighting that hard? Or had she perhaps not been drinking enough? The sun was very warm that day and she was bathed in sweat. That was it, of course. When she returned she would drink a lot and take a bath and then she would be fit for another fight.
Her second in command stared at her a little puzzled and she made a somewhat sheepish grin and spurred her horse. Her little moment of weakness was embarrassing even if it had lasted only a few seconds, she never showed anyone her softer sides.
They rode hard back to their city, here they knew every stone and every path and their horses stretched out. She felt dizzy and sweat began to run down her forehead, she wiped it away with an angry grimace, what was this? She had not been wounded for a long time and was in her full power, she had never been sick a day in her life and tried to remain calm. It was the heat most certainly.
Her second in command was riding next to her on his great roan gelding, he turned toward her again and there was curiosity but also growing concern within his amber eyes. Ighan had been her best warrior for many years and was the only one who could truly claim that he knew her. And she knew how he felt about her but she could not allow herself such emotions because they would make her weak and vulnerable.
Yet he was there by her side at all times, he took care of everything and she had grown accustomed to his presence. He would make sure that she had food and drink, brush off her horse or fix her tack when she didn’t have time to do it herself.
She was grateful of course but could never allow herself to become too involved with someone, because all she had cared about in the past had died and she did not want that to happen to anyone else.
Zheera shook her head, she felt strangely light headed and her knees felt like jelly. Thankfully Silverblade was a very good horse and didn’t react to his mistress strange behavior.
She felt worried after a while, there was tightness in her chest and she wanted to cough but couldn’t do that in front of the others. The city came into view and she made a sigh of relief, soon everything would be fine again.
They rode into the square in front of the great wooden hall and dismounted, carried the two wounded men toward the healer’s cabin and Zheera remained on her horse until the others had left, she pretended like she was going for a short ride to the corral to check in on her other horses. But in truth she feared that her legs couldn’t carry her any longer. She rode to her cabin; it was placed on the outskirts of town and was huge and well built. She had not required such luxury but she was the leader, it was anticipated of her to show some class and style.
She sighed and stopped the stallion, threw her leg over his back and jumped down. She almost fell and her head spun, she had to lean against his mighty flanks to remain standing.
Suddenly she was afraid, very afraid. Was this some kind of magic? She was an obvious target and she knew it. If their enemy really had sorcerers in his service this could be their work. She gasped and gathered her strength, got the saddle and the bridle of the horse and told him to go and join the rest of the herd and the stallion pressed his muzzle against her chest for a second before he did what she asked of him. Zheera had to close her eyes, the world was spinning in front of them and she felt worse than ever before. No wound had ever made her feel this weak.
She staggered into her cabin and got her armor off, checked herself for hidden injuries but found none. No enemy had even gotten close to her so she hadn’t expected to find any. She drank some water but it didn’t make her feel any better and panic started to grow within her. Her race very rarely got sick and they could survive injuries that were lethal to any other being except dwarfs who were tougher than granite. Could this be the result of any of her old wounds? No, she had been properly healed and she had to face the conclusion. Something was really wrong with her.
She could not afford to be ill, she had to be fixed as soon as possible, but the healers would tell everybody if she was in their care. She thought about it for a second, the group of twelve chosen warriors had a healer among them. Dawn, she was also a shaman and a priestess and very powerful but she never boasted about her skills and she was almost a sort of mother to them all.
Zheera swallowed hard, grabbed a cloak and hid herself within it, left the cabin and walked fast toward Dawns cabin. She did not work with the other healers since she was dedicated to the group of chosen warriors first and foremost. Dawn would keep her mouth shut, and find out what was wrong. The cabin lay within a small thicket surrounded by mighty old oaks and it looked as if it really belonged there. The role of shaman was really important to Dawn and it was obvious when one looked at her living quarters.
Zheera gasped for air, the tightness in her chest had gotten worse and she was really scared. She banged the door and opened it as soon as she heard Dawns voice. The healer stood by a table and was making some kind of ointment when their chief entered the room; she almost dropped the bowl and stared at the silvery haired woman with disbelief.
Dawn was much older than Zheera and although the signs of age never were apparent on the skin and body of their people one could guess it by looking into her eyes. She had seen oceans of time and was very wise and very skilled in deed. She grabbed Zheera before she fell to the floor and almost carried the much taller woman toward a bench.
Zheera stared pleadingly at Dawn, she wore a simple deerskin dress as usual and her long auburn hair was braided and well groomed, she always looked so calm and so in control. Now Zheera could only trust that the healer could help her once more. Dawn saw the signs of the chief’s distress, the sweat and the weird breathing and her paleness. She immediately knew that this was serious, whatever it was.
Dawn placed her hand on Zheera’s forehead, made a grimace. “You have no fever, when did this start?”
Zheera gasped. “A few hours ago, I suddenly felt dizzy and weak, and it has gotten worse ever since.”
Dawn shook her head, felt Zheera’s pulse and looked deep into her eyes. She looked confused and even listened to her lungs but apparently she found nothing that told her anything about the cause of this.
Dawn sat down and tried to think. “Anything unusual about the battle? No use of poisons or something like that?!
Zheera shook her head. “No, they were just soldiers, ordinary footmen, no wizards or even high ranking officers. It was an easy fight”
She closed her eyes, the dizzy feeling continued and she had to grab on to something to not topple over like she was drunk. She tried to remember anything more. “There was a strange sound I think, some kind of chanting but only I heard it. And I felt cold for a few seconds?”
Dawn’s eyes got wide and she got up on her feet, there was shock written all over her face. “By Enrah himself, that can only mean one thing and that’s magic but what kind and for what purpose?”
Zheera coughed, her chest burned and she felt terrified. “That should be pretty obvious shouldn’t it? To kill me!”
Dawn sighed. «Maybe, or it could be an attempt to weaken you or your status within our clan. But I have to find out what kind of spell this is and fast. It is escalating fast and I do not like it a bit!”
Zheera stared at Dawn who went into the backroom and gathered a few items. They looked rather weird and she realized that Dawn had to use her skills as a shaman to solve this mystery before it was too late. Dawn smiled at her but the smile was a stiff one, she grabbed a blanket and pulled it over Zheera’s shoulders. “I will need some help, I have an apprentice and she is very skilled already with great talents. I will get her and she will help me.”
Zheera sighed, she did not want anyone else to know about her misery but she understood the thought behind Dawns decision. And even though she in her own mind had to remain strong and on top constantly her people would understand and support her wholeheartedly if they found out about this. Zheera was well loved and respected and it was only her own stubbornness that stopped her from seeing the truth. That she didn’t have to push herself so hard to be worthy of their respect and obedience.
Dawn left and after only a few minutes she returned with a rather young woman with dark hair and a heart shaped face. She looked like she knew what she was doing and she started to organize things the moment she entered the room. “This is Ahariel, she’ll help us.”
Dawn and Ahariel placed Zheera on a chair and drew some strange pattern around it in the earth floor. Then they placed several candles around the chair within the pattern and set several of the weird objects into it as well. Zheera had to swallow a feeling of unease at the sight; there were some bizarre skulls and some other items she could not even identify. Dawn looked nervous and so did the apprentice, the way Zheera grew weaker by the hour told them that this was an emergency. And the one responsible had to be of considerable power.
Dawn gave Zheera a bowl of water and told her to hold it steady. “We’ll try something, if the one behind this is in some kind of connection with you we should be able to break it and then you’ll be ok. If there is another kind of spell at work then we’ll know that for sure. And that will be a whole lot more tricky I fear”
Zheera felt sick to her core but she sat there while the two started to chant. She feared not her own death but the destruction of everything she had managed to create. With her the free peoples had hope, someone strong enough to gather them all and forge them into a formidable fighting force. Without her their loyalty would fade and they would scatter like scared rats, and their enemy would win. And her warriors, would they be able to continue their work without her? She doubted it, they were proud and strong willed and only she had the authority to command them. She was the chosen one, favorite of Enrah and the only one to whom their deity spoke directly.
Dawn chanted and walked around the pattern, she threw what seemed to be small acorns into it and the apprentice was singing something Zheera didn’t understand a single syllable of. But somehow this had to be hard on the two women because they were sweating and shivering. Dawn stopped in front of Zheera, lifted her arms and shouted something loud and the candles flickered and died down simultaneously.
Dawn looked at her with questions within her stare, she was swallowing. “Do you feel any different?”
Zheera had to shake her head, she felt just as miserable as before and Dawn looked down and swore. It was almost shocking in itself to hear such words from the usually calm and serene healer.
“Then the person who did this is no longer in contact with you if he or she ever was. The spell has to be of a different kind.”
Zheera coughed and tried to sound calm but failed, her voice trembled.
Dawn pulled at her braid. «Magic is not that different from everything else, it cannot be done without some knowledge and it needs a focus. And the focus has to be a real thing, be it an object or a living being or even a specific trait of the person targeted. “
She looked frustrated and Ahariel bit her lower lip. “Then should we search her for any spells?”
Dawn nodded. «There is no other way, but it will be rough, I warn you!”
Zheera felt her mouth go dry; she feared this because it was nothing of which she had knowledge and experience. Dawn sighed and removed the bowl of water, placed her hands on Zheera’s head and Ahariel did the same, Zheera felt a little stupid, it had to look rather weird.
Dawn began to chant again but this time the rhythm was a different one and very hypnotic. And Zheera suddenly felt how the world almost turned itself inside out in front of her eyes, waves of light were flickering through the air and she wanted to throw up but couldn’t. She groaned, a strange pain went through her entire body and it felt like her entire inside was being poked at with red hot spikes. She would have screamed if she could. Dawn continued to chant, her eyes had turned completely black and she looked frightening.
Ahariel was chanting too and there was an expression of pain on her face. One shaman could do this alone but they were twice as effective together and Dawn sensed something and went after it like a hunting dog after a deer. She followed the very faint trace of magic and soon she found the small flickering spark of power and she realized what they were up against. She almost lost her concentration but managed to keep her cools, tried to gain as much information as possible before she pulled herself back into her own body on the right plane.
Zheera jerked as Dawn suddenly stopped chanting and Ahariel stopped to and moaned. She looked exhausted.
Dawn shook the sweat out of her hair and her eyes were really determined and also sad. She took Zheera’s hand and sat down next to her. Zheera got scared right away; she saw the somber expression within the healer’s eyes and feared the worst. “You can’t heal me?”
Dawn sighed, looked down. “No, I can’t heal you. But you can stop this yourself, it is really rather simple.”
Zheera frowned, looked at the two women with a great deal of confusion and fear and Dawn petted her on her shoulder, there was a small smile around her mouth but it was one of pity.
“You have become the victim of a special spell, one that usually is used by rather fresh and less experienced magicians. The ones who use it are normally in the grip of some kind of jealousy or they have got a grudge against someone. They rarely try to kill their victims; just cause heart break or practical trouble.”
Zheera still looked rather confused and Dawn sighed and tried to appear calm and confident. “What? But..?”
Dawn smiled, tried to find the right words. “The spell is cast upon something the person has got, and in order for the spell to be broken the person has to lose this object or thing in their possession. For example, if the spell is cast upon a person because of their honesty they have to act dishonest in order for the spell to lose its power. And if the focus is say, a woman’s long and lovely hair she has to cut it in order to become free. “
Zheera felt dizzy again, she swallowed and her voice was thin when she asked the obvious question. “Then what is it that I must lose to break the spell?”
She feared to hear that she would have to step back as a chief or give away her horses or her swords or anything like that. Dawn made a small sigh and squeezed her hand again, looked down.
“The person who cast this spell was a good one, I could not find out who she or he was but I was able to find the focus used for the spell.”
Zheera stared at her with wide eyes and her fear was obvious to everyone. Zheera never feared what she could control or understand, but this was beyond her skills and normal expertise.
Dawn looked down. “The focus was your virginity, to break the spell you must lose it, and soon before you get too weak to even breathe.”
Zheera gasped and for a moment she felt like she was about to faint. Everything she could have given but that she had not expected. She grasped on to the chair and her mind was swirling. Dawn realized what their young chief was feeling, she if anyone knew of Zheera’s past and the way her history had shaped her. Zheera feared feelings, feared intimacy since she had seen only the darker side of love. The sorrow of loss and the grief and longing for those long gone.
And she feared that an open heart would make her weak and distracted, make her less suitable as a leader.
Dawn saw that Zheera had become pale as a ghost and she was trembling, part because of the spell itself and part because of this information. This was a dire situation and it had to be fixed soon. She placed a hand on Zheera’s shoulder and stared her straight into the eyes. “You are weakening by the minute, with this rate you will die from suffocation at sunrise, so there is not much time left. “
Zheera had tears in her eyes. “But if I...if I am no longer a virgin I will lose my powers, Enrah will no longer favor me!!”
Dawn sighed. “I guess that is what the person behind the curse has thought of too, but dear Zheera that is just a human superstition. You are Enrah’s chosen priestess no matter what you choose to do; can’t you see that he cares about your soul and not your body?”
Zheera swallowed, she looked very doubtful. “Are you sure?”
Her voice was weak and trembling and Dawn could see the turmoil of feelings within the young chief.
Dawn nodded. “I am a priestess too you know, and I am most definitely not a virgin! And yet I can get in contact with Enrah whenever I need to. No, I guess the people who wanted this spell cast upon you took a chance and calculated that it would either kill you or make you doubt yourself. Or they wanted to create trouble for you without actually killing you. As a martyr you would be an even stronger symbol than you are alive.”
Zheera just stared at Dawn and the horror within her eyes told the healer that this was almost more than Zheera could comprehend there and then. And yet she had to deal with it and they could not wait until she calmed down and got everything at a distance.
Dawn was a practical person, she took hold of things that happened and had them figured out along the way. For her the next logical step was a rather obvious one.
She stroked a tear away from Zheera’s cheek and smiled at her. “So, who shall it be?”
Zheera looked at her in utter confusion, she could not think yet, her mind was spinning and she could not gather her thoughts, they felt like a hive of bees buzzing around randomly. “What?”
Dawn smiled gently. “The deed has to be done you know, and who would you like to have the honor?”
Zheera gasped again, hid her face in her hands. “Oh great Enrah, help me!”
She was shaking all over and her face was still pale.
“Must it... Must it be done... By a man?”
Dawn frowned. “What do you mean?” Zheera blushed and looked down.” Ah, you are a healer, can’t... can’t it be done... Surgically?”
Dawn sighed, placed her hands on Zheera’s shoulders. “No my dear friend, it is not the way. It has to be a man yes so who would you prefer?”
Zheera sighed and her despair was apparent. This was worse than fighting an army of orcs, she feared it more than a dragon. ”I..I do not know!!”
Dawn smiled; the smile was a gentle and yet determined one. “Oh but you do my dear, I know you do. Who loves you more than life itself? Who has been there for you every day and through every battle you’ve fought? Who would have died for you and who is taking care of your dirty work without ever complaining? And who is it that you are treating like he’s just a part of your surroundings, of no significance and just your servant? By Enrah girl, you have a chance now, a chance to redeem yourself. To show him that he is more than a pawn to you, that he means something more than the others. You owe him this; owe him the honor of being your first lover. Am I right or am I right?”
Zheera stared at her with her chin shaking like she was about to begin sobbing. There were still pure horror and despair in her eyes so Dawn got up and sighed. “Then I’ll make the decision for you, he is the only one who loves you enough to do this, to all others you are something almost God-like. They would not dare to touch you. I will go to him now and ask him, and I am rather sure that the answer will be yes. Maybe a reluctant one but yes none the less. He will save you no matter what, even if it is different from what he might have wanted. Is there anything you would want me to tell him?”
Zheera gasped again, tried to hide her face again within the blanket. “Oh Gods, no, just...Just say what you must...”
Dawn sighed and looked at Ahariel. “I’ll go now, but heat some water and make the tub ready. I guess our chief would want to be clean and pretty before such a significant event in her life.”
Zheera whimpered and looked like a frightened child there and then, Dawn thought it was weird, Zheera could go against any enemy outnumbered fifty to one and just be laughing but this, that so many sought to put behind them the earlier the better she feared more than even dragons fire. But she could understand too, Zheera had never learned anything about her own body and it’s desires and pleasures, all she had ever known was a hard struggle to survive. To her the warmer emotions of others were as alien as the backside of the moons.
Dawn left and Ahariel placed a great kettle over the fire and filled it with water. She brought some towels and some soap that smelled good and Zheera sat there with a feeling of being in a vacuum of some kind.
The things that were happening around her were not real; she could not really understand that this was happening. That she would have to let him touch her and even...No, it could not be true.
She gasped again and Ahariel looked at her with compassion, the young shaman seemed to be very understanding but Zheera wanted to be alone. She would hide in a deep black hole forever if that could keep her safe.
Ahariel sighed and sat down next to her, waiting for the water to come to a boil. “It’s nothing to be afraid of you know, it really isn’t.”
Zheera just continued to stare at the floor with big eyes glazed over with fear.
“It doesn’t hurt that much either, and only the first time. After that it is just wonderful, I promise! You’ll like it! “
Ahariel saw that Zheera didn’t pay any attention to her words and sighed, she pitied Zheera, she really did. When others enjoyed the company of their dear ones and the pleasures of the body Zheera was alone. Even when the tribes celebrated the spring Goddess and the party turned into a veritable orgy she had never participated.
Just remained sitting there on her chiefs throne as cold as a piece of ice. But maybe this would change now? And maybe things would be better for him as well, because he had shunned all other women after he joined the tribe, he never looked at anyone other than Zheera and even though he had many possibilities he cared naught about them. She was the only woman for him and she treated him with such arrogance and took him for granted. Well, maybe the Gods had a plan behind this after all, she could learn some humility and maybe even that ice heart of her could melt. It would make her stronger, not weaker.
Dawn walked towards Ighan’s small cabin, heard the sounds of steel against wood and realized that he was chopping up firewood. Dawn knew him well; if he was chopping up firewood he was worried about something beyond his influence or power. He had of course realized that something was wrong with Zheera but he could not ask her cause she would offer him no answers. Darn stupid stubborn woman, Dawn was annoyed by her weird behavior and now more than ever.
Ighan was standing outside the cabin, he had taken off his tunic and was working hard, sweat was flowing down his face and body and he was panting. He attacked the wood like he would have attacked a horde of evil gnomes and Dawn had to stop and admire the sight for a few seconds. Ighan was not of the tribes common for the area, his roots were north and he was taller and darker than usual among elves. His skin was like bronze and his hair dark and eyes amber. He was wide across his shoulders and chest and far more muscular than the other men of the group, and yet he was slender and elegant and something about him reminded Dawn of a huge panther or other big cats.
He put his ax down and pulled the long wet hair out of his face, stared at Dawn with confusion that slowly grew into realization. He looked terrified and Dawn felt guilty, her presence there told him immediately that something was seriously wrong. She had to put up her most professional face and kept walking toward him, trying to appear calm.
And she felt almost jealous for a moment, why could not Zheera see what she had in this man? He was fantastic and his devotion to her should have been rewarded a long time ago.
Zheera had missed out on a heck of a lot of fun Dawn guessed, that sleek body of his would most certainly have made almost any other woman drool. But perhaps she would realize the truth about certain matters now? She did not have to abandon all earthly pleasures to be a great leader, in fact rather the opposite. How could she understand the troubles and joys of others when she never had experienced them herself?
Ighan swallowed and stared at Dawn who nodded as a greeting, she tried to find the right way to talk about this. “You are working hard?”
He just stared at her, she could see that he already feared the worst so she sat down on a log and gestured to him, made him sit down next to her. “What is going on Dawn? Zheera almost fell of her horse today, I have never seen her that pale and…How bad is it?”
There was a trembling in his voice and Dawn pitied him, he loved Zheera but that love had never been answered. It was a harsh destiny for such a good man. Dawn drew her breath, gathered her strength. She needed it to remain calm because her calmness was necessary now, if he was to remain calm too. “It is bad; I am not going to lie to you. She has until sunrise I think, unless we do something drastic.”
Ighan gasped and turned white, he grasped a piece of wood like he was trying to squeeze it into splinters with his bare hands.” No, by all Gods, please don’t say it, I won’t let her die! Then I’ll die with her, I swear I will!”
Dawn looked at him with true compassion, saw his fear and his strength and knew that he spoke the truth. If Zheera died he would most likely climb into her funeral fire to burn with her. Dawn looked down. “As I said, we can do something drastic and I think it is an option you’ll agree on. She is under a spell Ighan, and to save her and break that magic there is something she has to lose, and that has to happen tonight!”
Ighan looked confused, he frowned and stared at Dawn and he still looked afraid. “What kind of magic are we talking about, who is behind it and what is it that she has to lose? Nothing serious I hope?!”
Dawn made a grimace. “The spell is called the spell of loss, and it is ancient and rather simple. And no, I could not find the person responsible but I did find out what she has to lose yes, and it is not dangerous Ighan. It’s her virginity and that is why I have come to you”
He gave her a blank stare, the words did not sink in for a few seconds and when they did he gasped and almost backed away from her. “By Enrah, you cannot be serious?!”
Dawn gave him a sad smile and petted him on his arm.
“But I am Ighan; you are the only one she could imagine being with, and the only one she trusts. Only you are worthy of that honor.”
He remained silent for several minutes, stared down at the ground and his hands were shaking.
“This is not right, you know that? It is unworthy, unfair! A disgrace. This should not be forced upon her like this, not her. She deserves so much better than this.”
Dawn just nodded; he needed to let his feelings run free for a while, to vent the pressure so to speak. “I know.”
Ighan continued, he was struggling with himself and she could see it. “Have you any idea how many times I have prayed to the Gods and begged them to make her mine!? How I have longed and suffered and longed even more? And now this, it is like the Gods have answered the prayer but turned it into something disgusting, to laugh at me and taunt my feelings.”
He gasped and hid his face within his hands.
“I have dreamed of her, coming to me of her own free will, loving me because she really loves me from her heart. And in the lonely nights those dreams has been all that I have ever had, I have not had another woman for as long as I have known her for I know she is the only one for me.”
His eyes were so sad when he turned toward her again. “This spits in the face of all my dreams and hopes and it will be like doing a horrible crime, because she hasn’t chosen to be with me. Was it not for the spell she would never allowed me to touch her, never. This will be like raping her, I swear. “
Dawn sighed. “I agree to a certain degree, she would not have dared to let you that close in a normal situation. But there is benefits my friend. She may be more open towards you from now on, her feelings might change. And you will do it?”
He sighed; his eyes were glazed and distant. “I will do it, to save her life. But I will not enjoy it, because this is not how it’s supposed to be.”
Dawn was leaning towards him, stroked his long dark hair in an almost loving gesture. “See it as an opportunity to save her once more, and maybe she’ll see what she’s got in you afterward? There is hope!”
He just nodded and sighed. “Is there anything I must do, before?”
She just smiled and stood up. “Take a bath, that’s all. I’ll go and make her ready. Time is running out fast so come to my cabin as soon as you have washed off that sweat. “
He closed his eyes and sighed once more. “ If it only could have happened in another way. This is not what I would have wanted, and I am bloody sure it’s not what she wants either.”
He got on his feet and made a strange grimace. He looked at Dawn and there was something within his body language that told of uncertainty.
“I don’t want to hurt her Dawn, not even a bit. It tears my heart out to know that I’ll be the cause of any pain, isn’t there any way to...to prevent that?” Dawn smiled but the smile was an apologetic one. “I am sorry, but no. It cannot be prevented, there will be pain on her behalf but it doesn’t need to be that bad. I’ll see what I can do to make her ready for you.”
Ighan just hung his head and swore to himself. Dawn patted him on his back. “Go now and get cleaned off, don’t worry. It is needed. “
Back at the cabin Ahariel had helped Zheera get undressed and placed her in the tub, she saw how shy their chief was and it was yet another more human trait she had gotten from her human stepfather. Elves were rarely shy, to them being naked was natural and they did nothing to hide their bodies to others. She washed Zheera’s long silvery hair and perfumed it and she put some perfume also on her neck wrists and between her legs. Zheera could no longer stand on her legs, it was as if all strength was gone and she felt like a trapped animal in front of a pack of hunters. There was no escape and she tried to tell herself that this wasn’t much to fear.
After all most of the women she knew had gone through it and most of them claimed that they liked it too. And she had never been afraid of pain before so why should this be so different. Ighan only wanted what was best for her and she knew it so well. And she realized how unfair she had treated him, how fateful and strong he had been.
The rock she had been leaning against most of her time there, and she had never thanked him, not even once.
She remembered the first time they met, how she had to go and seek him out cause he was the only one of the twelve chosen warriors who refused to heed the call of Enrah and stayed where he was. How that stubbornness had infuriated her, and how he had made her blood boil with anger.
He dared to question her right to be their leader; he dared to question everything she believed in. And he was the only one who could defeat her with sword in hand.
She realized that she had been jealous of him, of that self-confidence that never allowed him to fail no matter what, of his ability to adjust to any situation and turn it to his advantage no matter the odds. His boyish charm and his courage and that belief in his own strength that she so much would have liked to share. Yes, she had been jealous, perhaps that was why she had denied herself the right to enjoy his company, denied herself of everything he could have done for her.
Ahariel helped her out of the tub, dried her off and almost carried her onto the bed placed in the backroom. She had placed fresh sheets on it and a thin but warm blanket and she helped Zheera down upon it and pulled the blanket over her. Zheera shivered, some was because of the weakness the spell created and some because the room was cold but nervousness was the cause of most of the shivers. This was no enemy she could outrun or fight, she would have to face this and she was not the strongest part here. She feared being weak, being defenseless, being only flesh and blood. And in this situation she was all of the above and more.
Dawn returned and sat down on the bed. “He agreed, he’ll be here soon. He too needed a bath first.”
Zheera closed her eyes for a moment, tried to get a grip on herself. “That...that is good.”
Dawn smiled and turned around, found some small bottles from a drawer and showed them to Zheera. “If you’d like to I can help you a bit and perhaps make it a bit less painful? “
Zheera just nodded, she already had guessed what those bottles were. Dawn did not hesitate; she pulled the blanket up and stared at Zheera’s naked body. She was beautiful but Dawn had expected that. She gently moved her legs aside and applied some of the oil from the bottles onto her hands. Zheera whimpered when she felt the first gentle touch on her skin, nobody had ever touched that part of her before, and she had never even given that area any thought. She kept herself clean and that was it.
Dawn was a skilled healer; she quickly examined Zheera’s private parts and made sure that there was plenty of oil there to act as a lubricant if Ighan didn’t manage to awaken her natural lust. Zheera was just as perfect there as anywhere else but Dawns keen eyes could clearly see that this would be painful, she was tight and her hymen strong. She swore to herself and pulled the blanket down again, petted Zheera on her hand. “So, now it will probably be a little easier.”
Zheera sighed; she could no longer even sit up in bed. There were tears in her eyes. “Couldn’t you just give me something that knocks me out, and let me sleep until it’s over? “
Dawn felt moved by Zheera’s voice, a kind of almost maternal feeling. “No dear, I don’t think Ighan will go through with it then, it will be like raping you, and he would not do that, not for all in the world. Don’t worry, it will be over with and then you will be fine again. And a real woman too.”
Zheera cringed, she was pale still. “I should not be this afraid, not of something so natural I guess. But I can’t help it. Do you think it will hurt much?”
Dawn sighed, she could not lie to her, and honesty was always the best thing. “Yes, it will hurt, but I know that you are brave right? You have been wounded many times and those wounds have caused you far worse pain than this will, I swear. It will just be different.”
Zheera made a strange grimace and tried to relax and Dawn smiled at her. “See, that’s the right spirit, if you manage to keep relaxed through the first moments it will be less painful”
Zheera made a strange noise. “Easier said than done!”
Dawn made a wry smile. “The first time I did it I was sixteen and I was with a boy I was so in love with that I was more or less crazy. And when we started and he entered me I started screaming so bad I scared the poor fellow halfway out of his mind. “
Zheera looked surprised at her. “ Did it hurt that bad?”
Dawn giggled at the memory. “No, not at all actually. But I suddenly got aware that I had a huge beetle climbing up my leg and I was terrified of them, and there he was on top of me so I could not shake it off.”
Zheera made a faint smile and Dawn stroked her cheek gently. “See it as a part of your job if you must, without you everything will fall apart here so do it for your people. “
Zheera nodded and Dawn got up, pulled the curtain out around the bed so it became like a small room in itself. “Now, there it will be more private. And I will stay in the room if I am needed in any way”
There was a small knock on the front door and Dawn smiled. “And there we have Ighan, just about time too.”
She went to let him in and Zheera wanted to hide beneath her blanket. She had never allowed any man to see her naked, and she feared what new emotions this might bring forth in her. Was this in truth a test of her courage? The will of the Gods perhaps? She had to be brave but it was harder than ever before to find that courage. The unknown was more frightening than anything else but she tried to find some solace in the thought that this unknown act soon would be unknown no more. Her father had often said that it was better to go and face your fears head on than to let them conquer you by holding you back. Well, she would face her fear this time and perhaps she would come from it as a stronger person. At least she could hope she would.
Ighan had been in shock for quite a while, he managed to gather his thoughts when he reached the river and waded into it to bathe. He felt sad, confused, angry and hurt and at the same time he felt a strange sort of excitement and it made him a bit ashamed of himself. He should not look forward to this cause it was not the way it was supposed to happen but he could not help it.
He would be allowed to do what he had dreamed of so many times, touching her, seeing her. And he swore to himself that he would do whatever he could to make this a good experience for them both. It would not be easy but he thought he knew at least a little about women and what they liked. He washed himself and had to think about all the times he had been laying there in his lonesome bed, thinking about her. Her pale skin and silvery hair, her lips and sparkling eyes. The shape of her beneath the clothes. And how many times had he not been caught by his own thoughts and his own desire and spilled his seed onto his hand or stomach? More times than one could count he would recon. But this time it was for real and he could only pray that he would manage to control his own lust and avoid getting carried away. He would not make this worse than it had to be.
Dawn greeted him and smiled, he was still wet and his skin flushed, he looked as gorgeous as ever and Dawn sighed. She could only pray that Enrah helped them and turned this spell into something good. Ighan blushed and swallowed, he looked embarrassed and Dawn cocked her head.
“Yes, is there anything you would want to ask about?” He nodded, kept his voice low.” Ah, how much do I need to do?”
Dawn looked at him a bit confused. “What do you mean?”
He sighed, felt terribly ashamed by this and he was nervous too, it made it hard to find the right words. He swallowed, looked down. “I mean, is it enough if I just get inside and pull back out again or do I have to continue? And for how long?”
Dawn smiled and hoisted her shoulders.
“Continue, the spell require the act to be complete to be broken, so you have to continue until the happy ending if you pardon me for being so blunt.» Ighan blushed, he felt his cheeks burn. “That will make it more uncomfortable for her I fear. And what if...”
He stuttered. “What if I make her pregnant?”
His voice was pleading and Dawn had a serious expression upon her face. “Yes, what if she becomes with child? What would you do then?”
Ighan swallowed hard. “Stand by her as ever before, and love that child with all of my heart.”
Dawn smiled and caressed his cheek. “See? Not a big problem, she is the chief by the way; it is expected of her to get herself an heir. Now, I wouldn’t expect her to get pregnant this fast, but if you do your job properly it might be that she feels the need to experience the joy of your embrace again. “
Ighan looked down, he sighed. “A family, how I have longed for that. But only if it pleases her.” Dawn hugged him, her eyes were sparkling.
“And what a wonderful father you would make, but that is still in the future, and the future is unknown. “
She got a more professional expression upon her face again.
“So first of all my friend, strip!”
Ighan was only wearing a pair of loose trousers and he stared at her for a few seconds before he realized what she had asked for. He blushed once more before he undid the lacing and slowly pulled the garment down. Dawn looked at him and he felt like a horse for sale at a market. She was obviously studying him and she grinned, the grin was a little wicked. “I am sure you are capable of bringing great joy to your women, you do certainly have the tool for it. I just hope that Zheera will learn to enjoy it too. But this first time might be tough on her; you would not be my first choice if I was a virgin.”
Ighan blushed again and Dawn handed him a towel. “Here, you may cover yourself when you enter the room, no point in scaring her too early.”
He bit his teeth together.
“You said something about help?”
She nodded and turned toward the door. “Yes, I have given her some oils that will make her relax and provide lubrication, but you have to do the main job. Try to make her aroused but don’t waste too much time if you realize that she won’t react the right way. Then it is better to just do it quickly and be done with it. She is growing weaker even as we speak. “
He nodded and felt a wave of pity flow through him. She was his everything, and he only did this to save her. Dawn pointed toward the door to the bedroom. “Then shall we?”
Ighan was somewhat relieved that Dawn would stay there with them, it felt almost safe although a part of him reared at the very thought of someone being a witness to this most private of deeds.
He went to the door and opened it carefully. There were some candles lit there, Ahariel had tried to create a romantic atmosphere there and she had even lit the fireplace so the room had become warm and comfortable. Ahariel left the room as they entered and Dawn went and sat down by the fireplace. She blinked at Ighan and he sighed and turned toward the bed. He swallowed, said a short prayer just to gather his thoughts and pulled the curtain aside so he could slip through it.
He gasped when he saw her, she was as lovely as ever but so pale. And so obviously terrified but she tried to appear brave and he noticed her shaking hands upon the blanket and her huge dark eyes. How he pitied her, and he bit his lower lip and hesitated for a second before he turned his back on her, let go of the towel around his waist and slipped underneath the blanket next to her.
She whimpered as the bed shook from his movements and he wished he could explain to her how he felt, and how sorry he was that she had to suffer like this. Ighan turned toward her slowly as if not to startle her, leaned up on his elbow and looked down upon her pale face. He saw how her eyes glittered with tears and felt like crying too. This was so damn unnatural, not at all the right atmosphere for love making. He tried to sound calm and his voice was soft.
“How do you feel?”
She looked at him for a short second, and then turned her eyes away from him again, like she feared him.
“Weak, like all my strength has gone. And dizzy. What...what will you do...?”
The fear in her voice, how he wanted it to be gone. If he only could make her more confident, more relaxed. He could feel the warmth of her body and her smell was such an intoxicating perfume. There was suddenly no doubt that he was capable of doing it physically. He slowly reached out and touched her hair, pulled his fingers through those silvery locks and it was as he had imagined, as soft as the finest satin. She shuddered and closed her eyes again, tears were flowing down her cheeks and he gently dried them off with his hand.
“You are so beautiful Zheera, like nothing else in the world. You are unique!”
She tried to appear brave, tried to smile but it became a shivering grimace. “I bet you say that to all the girls!”
Ighan smiled. “No, I did say that once to a girl though, but she turned out to be a terrible person.”
Zheera turned her head toward him, she appeared to be curious. “Who was that?”
Ighan looked down, it was bitter memories but somehow he thought that she should know.
“My wife actually”
Zheera gasped and stared at him with disbelief written all over her face. “You’re married?!”
He shook his head and a glint of pain could be spotted in his eyes. “Not any more, she’s dead! And has been for centuries now.”
Zheera had never really thought about the fact that Ighan was that much older than her, in elven standard he was still young but several centuries her senior. She should have showed him more respect. She saw that it pained him to mention these things but she grew more curious by the minute. She knew almost naught of his past before they met.
He slid closer to her and found a more comfortable position. He let his fingers run through her hair once more and she did not react to the touch now. He gathered his thoughts, tried to keep his voice steady.
“An attack, orcs and giants. But our marriage had ended years earlier.”
She heard the bitterness in his voice, suddenly she felt less afraid of him, and she felt sorry for him somehow. “Tell me, please?”
He nodded and smiled at her, his amber eyes were sad and she wished that she could have lifted her arms to touch him but she did not have the strength.
Ighan sighed, understood that everything that could take her mind away from what they were supposed to do was a blessing. “It was arranged by our fathers. To strengthen the bonds between our tribes. And I was seventeen back then and fell in love faster than you would drop a ton of bricks. And of course more eager than a pack of rabbits.”
He grinned and she liked this side of him, his ability to see the funny side of almost everything.
“She was blond and pretty and she had plenty of experience and I could not match her no matter how vigorous I was. So after a while I learned that she was screwing almost all the men of our tribe. And she gave birth to a child that most definitely wasn’t mine.”
She was confused and made a strange grimace. “How could you know that? “
Ighan sighed and rested against the pillows. He grabbed a lock of his hair, it was almost black and she admired it’s lush shine. “The girl had blond hair like her mother, not very likely that she had been sired by my loins”
Zheera had to giggle but at the same time she realized how tragic this would have been for him, he was so very young then. “And that was the end?”
He nodded and smiled a sad smile. “It was, and I never married again. I did not trust women after that. “
She swallowed, there was a rather obvious question she had to ask him. “But you trust me? Why am I different?”
Ighan stroked her hair gently again. “Because with you I know, that’s the answer. I know that I can trust you. Call it instinct or whatever, but it is real.”
She smiled again, a little more self-assure.
“So I should be proud you mean? “
He nodded and leaned forward a little, kissed her forehead gently and she gasped and looked a bit apprehensive again.
“You should, and you asked me what I would do? First, this!”
He stroked a finger along her jaw very gently, and then he leaned toward her again and kissed her on her lips. It was a very light kiss, barely a touch at all but Zheera gasped and her eyes flickered. He sighed and put his hand on her shoulder. “I will not harm you Zheera, you know that. Please trust me, just relax and allow yourself to feel what I am doing.”
She closed her eyes, tried to remain calm but a sense of panic was working its way into her mind. “Why can’t you just take me and be done with it?” Ighan sighed and leaned his forehead against hers, tried to look her in the eyes and she slowly met his gaze.
“Because that would be unfair to you and also to me. I am no animal; I could not do it like that. I want you to have some joy from this as well.”
She tried to swallow, her throat felt dry.
“I do not know such joy, you know that.”
He smiled at her, stroked her hair again. It was so soft, so shiny and the shape of her under the blanket was so very tantalizing. How he yearned to see her writhe in pleasure, hear her moan his name. He would have to use all his skills and have a good portion sheer luck too if that was to happen. She was as shy as a wild deer, as fragile as a dream once dreamed.
“Then I will show you, and teach you. “
The answer was a rather shaky grimace. He pushed himself closer to her, could feel the warmth of her skin and drew a deep breath before he gently and very lightly let his hand glide from her face down to her shoulder. She shuddered and bit her lower lip, stared straight up at the ceiling.
Ighan felt almost as focused as he did when he had to tame a wild colt, he had to read every signal and be able to understand them and act upon them too. He let his hand glide from her shoulder and back up her neck, cupping her face with his hand before he let the hand slide back. Her skin was so soft and her breath sweet and he ached to become one with her but he had to be patient as never before.
Slowly he started to kiss her shoulder very gently, every kiss a lingering touch that made her gasp and stare at him with something that reminded him of disbelief within those wonderful eyes. He moved toward her neck, planting several more kisses on the sensitive skin, even letting his teeth scrape against it a few times. He kissed her earlobe and gave it a gentle tug with his front teeth before he kissed her cheek. Then he kissed her lips very softly. First she tried to turn away from him but then she gave up the resistance and there was a kind of resignation within her glance.
Ighan kissed her again, her lips were so soft and he increased the pressure slightly and turned the gentle touch into a real kiss. He moved his lips against hers and stroked her hair again, tried to coax some similar reactions from her. Slowly she understood and her lips got softer, moved in sync with his own. She had closed her eyes and he continued, tried to get her to open her mouth. She was so very inexperienced and knew nothing about this art and he could only hope that she wasn’t disgusted by his advances.
He was relieved when she did what he wanted off her, then he slowly let his tongue glide against her lips and Zheera made strange noises but she did not try to get away from him. He continued, and her breath was quick and shallow, still scared but she was brave, she did not complain and that raised his hopes.
He decided to go a step further, while he still was kissing her he let his hand slide from her shoulder where it had rested down toward her chest and he let it end up over her nearest breast. It was soft and warm and it fitted perfectly into his hand.
Zheera gasped and her eyes opened, she appeared to be unable to understand and he smiled at her, a reassuring smile. “See? We are made for each other I am sure”
She swallowed, looked down upon his hand where it rested against the blanket and she did not understand her own feelings. The kisses had felt weird to begin with, then it became almost interesting, she wanted to see what the point of it was, and why he did these things.
Now he moved his hand a bit and it didn’t feel bad at all, unfamiliar yes but there was a soft tingling sensation within her and her nipple had gone stiff. She gave him a surprised look, stared at the phenomenon. “I am not cold?”
Ighan nodded and smiled again, the smile was very comforting and she remembered how she had trusted him before. He had saved her life numerous times so she decided to trust him completely once more, even if it felt scary. “It is a normal reaction my dear, it is to expect. It means that you like it. “
Zheera blushed, bit her lip and her hands were shivering a bit. “I... I guess I do. But it feels so alien to me...”
He kissed her again and she participated in the kiss now, it pleased him. “It’s only because it is new to you, but you should not fear new experiences. Remember that time I gave you that green fruit you thought to be inedible?”
She had to smile, the memory was a fond one and she nodded. “It tasted wonderful, but it stank of unwashed socks!”
He grinned and kissed her again and he let his hand slid underneath the blanket this time.
“See this as similar to that fruit, whence you get used to it and see what’s beyond you’ll find something wonderful.”
Zheera gasped, the feeling of his rough calloused hand against her skin was so strong and there was a strange feeling of weight somewhere within her and that heat and weight slowly moved lower within her. She felt warm, and not as if she was sick. This warmth was good, she could sense that.
Ighan kissed her again, and she dared to let her tongue meet his, the feeling of slick smoothness moving together was intense. The heavy feeling got stronger and she felt her heart beating to a new rhythm. This really wasn’t that frightening any longer; she was growing ever more curious about these new sensations.
Ighan let his fingers play with her nipples and she gasped again and her eyes closed for a few seconds, when she opened them they were glazed and he could have cheered. She was reacting, she wasn’t cold! He could turn her on, and there was deep determination within his eyes as he kissed her passionately once more. He slowly slid the blanket down to her waist and she shuddered but let him do it. He stared at her, admired her beauty with an almost religious reverence. She was perfection to him, so very so. And his desire was boiling within him now, aching to be released but he did not heed it’s constant pull. She was his first priority; his time would come soon enough.
He slowly moved a bit down along her, never letting his eyes drift from her face and she looked wide eyed at him as he gently let his mouth caress her nipple. He sucked it and let his tongue play with it and Zheera let go of her breath in a hiss. The sensation was so intense, suddenly she felt heavy like never before and she could feel her heartbeat through her entire body and down between her legs in particular. It felt wonderful and she tried not to be startled by this force that seemed to devour her and demand her with body and soul. She was yearning for something but she did not know for what.
He continued what he was doing and every now and then he moved back up and kissed her lips and she met him now, reached toward him and let herself explore his mouth as he did hers. This was going the right way. She was breathing hard and her somewhat distant gaze told him that her body was getting ready for him.
Her nipples were stiff and erect and he had hardly seen a more wonderful sight in his life. She closed her eyes and moaned from his touch and he decided to go further. He pulled the blanket further down and slowly he revealed her entire body. Zheera gasped again, she felt so incredibly naked. More than she had when she had been bathed by Dawns apprentice. And his eyes, they were burning and she could sense his need for her, it was all consuming and she could smell his lust. It made her shiver to the bone but a new part of her had awakened and this new part of her soul was feeling very content with the sight.
Ighan felt his throat go dry from what he saw; she was everything and all he had ever wanted. Her narrow waist and rounded hips, her flat muscled stomach and her long strong legs.
He kissed her between her breasts and she whimpered. He realized that she felt very uncertain and wanted to make her feel more sure of herself. He lifted her hand and kissed it gently. “You are wonderful, so very beautiful. I am so honored to be here with you, to see you this way.”
She blushed, wanted to hide her face but she could not gather the strength to lift her arms. “I feel... I feel so weird...”
He looked at her lovingly, kissed her breasts again and she made a shivering smile. The weird hungering feeling got even stronger when he did that.
“Tell me what you feel, explain it to me!”
She swallowed, tried to find the words but it was so hard. She could not think any more. All she could do was to feel, she had become pure emotion now.
“I... need something I think, I feel so heavy and I can feel my heart beating.”
Ighan nodded knowingly. «I know, that is good, that is right. You feel your heartbeat down there right?”
He pointed toward the area where her thighs met and she blushed and had to nod. Even as he spoke of it she felt that warmth again, that strange feeling of longing. Ighan stared at her, and then he slowly let his hand slide down her stomach and sensed how she held her breath, shivered in a mix of apprehension and anticipation.
He shivered too, his need was desperate and he knew that he wouldn’t last long once he was in her. He was so very aroused and the very thought of lying there between those sleek thighs made his blood boil. His fingers reached the silky smooth hairs below her belly and he let them glide through it.
And Zheera whimpered again but this time not of fear, she suddenly felt like she was driven into a tantalizing form of madness. The feeling was so overwhelming and so good she couldn’t believe it. Nobody had ever told her that it would be like this, an all-consuming flame of pure need and bliss. She lifted her body toward his touch, a move made from pure instinct but it made him groan and he had to close his eyes for a second, just to recollect his thoughts.
Ighan realized that he had to move forth faster than he had planned, he could not stand this that much longer and he made a quick plan in his mind. He slid his hand over her hips a few times, and then moved it along the inside of her thighs while he kissed her deeply. Her skin felt like satin and she shivered from his touch. It was such a sweet torture to go through this but he had to. Zheera closed her eyes, her heart was thundering in her chest, she could no longer control her body but it did not frighten her, not any longer. Her instincts told her that this was as it should be. And his touch, how soft and at the same time demanding it was. And how her body suddenly yearned for so much more.
When Dawn had touched her it had felt clinical, cold and medical. There had been no feelings like those she had now and she knew that these feelings would be even better when he touched those areas of her. She struggled to breathe, her voice blurred and shaky and she did not feel a bit ashamed any longer. She met his eyes with her own, bit her lower lip.
He was taunting her now, and he knew it, but the further he could bring her the better. “Please what?”
She gasped and there was a hint of despair within those green eyes. She was not used to such strong feelings and since she never had learned anything about her own body and the urges and pleasures it hid she was absolutely unable to control herself. It was similar to placing a first time rider on an untamed bronco. She had no idea what to expect or how to handle herself.
“Please touch me...”
He smiled at her, kissed her nipples again slowly and teasingly. He felt a bit proud, she was awakening to a new world of passion and he was responsible. And how that passion made her shine, more than any jewel. It made her skin flush so beautifully, and a thin layer of sweat was covering her.
He let his hand continue to glide up and down the inside of the soft thigh and felt how her muscles were taut and shivering. “Touch you? I am touching you my dearest”
She groaned, tossed her head back, she was close to tears. The need was taking control of her completely now and the fury of her own desire scared her more than he ever could. She had never in her wildest dreams imagined herself being able to feel this sort of lust. She needed him to touch her, needed it like she needed air to breathe and water to drink. She no longer cared what ever happened to her as long as this burning hunger was satisfied. “Oh I beg you...”
Her obvious despair was enough, he complied with her wish and placed his hand between her legs, felt something warm and wet against it and knew that she was actually ready for him. But he would not take her yet, he wanted to show her pleasure before he had to cause her pain so he let a finger glide in between those slick soft folds and heard her gasp his name as he found that little bud he knew was her most sensitive organ.
Zheera thought she would faint, the world was spinning and she could barely breathe. When he finally touched the very center of her need it was like an explosion within and with each small taunting move she felt something building up inside of her. A tension she knew had to be released but she did not know how. Waves of pure pleasure surged through her and she almost sobbed since this was more than she could take.
She was overwhelmed by the strength of this basic instinct, humbled by the beauty of it, of the natural urge within her.
She had been blind, even stupid to have been so ignorant, so lacking in understanding. How strong she had felt every time she saw others embrace each other, loose themselves to their emotions. Only now did she realize that it was them, not her, who were strong. They dared to love, to face the danger off rejection and loss with their heads held high and their hearts in their hands. That was courage, and she had been a coward.
Ice may be strong but it is nothing compared with water and her defences were melting fast. She no longer cared if she lost her powers, as long as she could be there, with him. As long as she could repay him for all the love he had given her off an honest heart, all the support he had shown her during the years.
She gasped his name again, tried to move with his touches but she couldn’t and it caused frustration but she had to submit to the situation. She did not have the strength to move any more. Ighan was deeply moved by her trust, and he was very patient and knew exactly how to lead her toward her release. It was sheer instinct and a deep understanding of her personality that was guiding him and he watched her face glow and her eyes close in complete submission to her own body.
Zheera felt like she was floating in a sea of pure joy and bliss, swiftly drifting toward the shore like a wave and like a wave she would come crashing down sooner or later. She could not fight it, nor could she slow his gentle teasing caresses and she gasped for air as the tension within her rose to an intolerable level. It was more than she could stand, more than anyone could handle and yet it was wonderful and at the same time a torture. She felt hollow, unfulfilled somehow, she needed something unknown and she did barely have time to consider what that might be before the wave of pleasure reached the shore and its power was released. And she screamed a sudden hoarse cry as she bent backward into the bed and twitched beyond control and thought.
Her body was pleasure in that moment, it was all she was. Like her nerves and her blood and her muscles all contracted to the same rhythm that sent surges of the most intense feeling she had ever had through her. Ighan moaned her name, watched her twitch and shake and saw her face contorted by ecstasy.
It was more arousing to watch than he had ever imagined, he had a hard time holding himself back. Instead he enjoyed the knowledge that he had done a good job, shown her what this could be.
Zheera had to gasp for air for several minutes, the explosion within had completely shocked her. And how wonderful it felt, how fulfilling and right. She now knew why people liked this. But this was not all and she knew it. When she got her breath back she carefully analysed the feelings she had been left with, and one was a feeling of being empty, that there were a void within her that needed to be filled. And now she knew what she needed to fill it.
Ighan smiled to her, let his fingers run through her hair and he felt humble. To see her reach her first orgasm had been an honour and one he barely could believe that he was worthy of. His own desire felt so downright primitive and blunt compared with the purity of her emotions. She smiled and he could see the trust within her.
“Now, how did that feel?”
His voice was so soft and low and warm and she wanted to embrace him, just hide against him and stay within this wonderfully relaxed feeling but she knew that she couldn’t. They had not yet done what was most needed and she was no longer afraid, at least not much.
“It felt... I can’t describe it. It was heaven I think!”
He looked very happy and she gathered her courage. “But that is not all; you have to do it soon. I am not that afraid any longer, I promise!”
Ighan swallowed, pressed his forehead against hers, and stared into her eyes. “Are you sure, you are ready?”
She nodded but for a moment she hesitated. “I...”
He kissed her gently and stroked her hair again.
“What is it my dearest?”
He had an idea of what she was thinking, he had not removed the blanket from his own body yet and he found it very understandable if she wanted to see him before they did it. And perhaps it would ease her mind too if she got to know his body a little better first.
She blushed, looked away but there was a hint of curiosity within those lovely green eyes. He found it wonderful how she had thawed and awakened into a new world of feelings. But she wasn’t a woman yet, not completely. “May... May I see… You?”
Her voice trembled and he nodded and kissed her once more. He just hoped that she would like the sight of him and not be too intimidated by his now very apparent arousal.
He pulled the blanket away from him and she let her eyes glide along his body. She had seen him stripped down to his waist before but she had never seen him completely naked. She had often admired his muscles and his elegant moves but she had never viewed the parts of him that made him male. And when her eyes finally found them she gasped and got a bit pale. He had anticipated that, it was natural since she never had seen a man in this condition before. And she started to doubt her own courage a little bit.
Ighan squeezed her hand, tried to appear as calm as possible. “Does it scare you?”
She nodded and there was a mixture of emotions within her eyes. She was apprehensive but at the same time the sight of him made that hollow feeling even more intense and she found the sight strangely fascinating. She knew so little about men and their anatomy but she knew that he was sensitive. She knew that a kick to the nether regions could bring even the greatest warriors to their knees.
“Is... is it supposed to be that...big?”
The last words were a mere whisper and he had to smile, but the smile was reassuring. He moved closer to her, pulled himself up so he was sitting next to her and her eyes were stuck to his manhood like they were glued to it. She didn’t seem to be disgusted though and he was thankful of that fact.
“Yes, but remember that it is going in where babies come out, and a baby is much bigger right? You can handle it, I swear.”
She got a determined look upon her face. “I believe you, compared with a baby that is not too bad. “
She tried to sound confident but there was still a shivering within her voice. He smiled at her, had to remain cool and in control no matter how hard it was.
“If you want to you may touch me?”
She looked a bit doubtful for a while, like she didn’t really know what to believe or do. Then she nodded slowly and he took her hand and pushed himself close to her. He placed himself so she could reach him and then he gently placed her hand upon his aching manhood and she almost tried to pull her hand back for a second before she relaxed and let it stay. And Ighan had to bite his lip not to groan loudly, the feeling of that touch, ever so light, was sheer agony. He needed her, more than ever and he was frantically thinking about ice cold ponds and naked orcs to prevent himself from exploding there and then.
Zheera’s first touch was a very reluctant one, she touched him like one would touch a poisonous snake or something like that but then she felt the warmth of his skin and realized that this wasn’t something dangerous or frightening. It was just a part of him, like his arms or legs and completely natural and she could feel his heartbeat and how he shuddered from her touch. And the skin was so soft, she could not believe it. And yet the whole thing was so hard like the log of a tree and the paradox fascinated her. He was flesh and blood, nothing mysterious and her fear subsided.
She started to explore, since he was laying this close to her she had the strength to move her hand and she let it slide along the shaft and over the top and Ighan closed his eyes and made a strange noise. She looked at him, a bit confused. “Did I hurt you?”
He gasped. “No, not at all, actually quite the opposite.”
She felt a strange tingling sensation within from watching his reaction. It felt good, it was promising and she let her fingers caress him even more. Ighan gasped again and she could see some drops of something clear and sticky on him. He grabbed her hand, his eyes distant and his breath heavy. “No more now my dear, or else I’ll finish before it’s even started. “
She giggled a little, felt a bit braver again. She looked down. “They say... they say that you men... touch yourselves when there is no woman to be with? How?”
Ighan almost coughed, that was one question he had not seen coming but fine, he would have to explain. He lay down next to her and smiled, but he could feel his face turn red like wild berries. “Yes, it is true; everybody does that, even those who say that they don’t. And we do almost exactly what you just did to me.”
He let his hand caress himself once, just to show her and she got a strange expression upon her face. “So you... do that?”
He nodded and felt embarrassed but he would not lie to her. “Yes I do, every now and then, I think of you and then... I imagine I am with you like we are now and … well”
He moved his hand in a very revealing way. She gasped and stared at him with big eyes and he feared that he had revealed too much but there was no way back now.
She blushed, closed her eyes. “So it’s me you think about when you give yourself pleasure. I guess I should feel honored by that.”
She bit her lower lip, there was something a bit naughty within her eyes, a glimpse of a less timid part of her personality. “And that feels good?”
He had to smile. “Yes, it does. And I end up with your name on my lips and my own seed upon my hands.”
She shuddered by his words, closed her eyes for a second or two.
“When I watch you, I feel so empty, down there. It’s like my body knows what it needs. I am ready, I know I am!”
Her voice was firm and he nodded, felt a bit nervous but also strangely ready too. This had to be done. He kissed her lovingly and started to caress her once more, let his hand slip back where she needed his touch and she gasped and smiled. “That feels so good, again. “
He nodded, felt that she was wet and relaxed and while he let his thumb caress that sensitive little organ he let a finger slide slowly into her. Zheera held her breath, her eyes widened and she stared at him with shock in her eyes. The feeling was a completely new one and it brought a rush of sensations. He let his finger glide back and forth and she moaned softly and closed her eyes. The feeling was so intense and it brought a surge of pleasure. And yet it wasn’t enough, she needed more. She nodded to him. “Do it now, please? Take me, make me yours.”
She knew she spoke the truth the moment the words were said, she was his. She had always been his; she just hadn’t been able to see it. Ighan kissed her passionately, stroked her hair and slowly he moved up over her, used his knee to spread her legs and got into position. He rested on his arms, tried to avoid pressing down on her. He kissed her forehead, felt himself shiver with withheld lust, “I am going to just glide against you first, to get myself ready. And when it happens and I do take you then don’t be afraid to scream or anything. Let it out, that is much better than being too brave. “
She gave him a somewhat pale smile, but her eyes were calm, and there was determination within her expression. “I know, just...just be done with it. “
He nodded and kissed her gently. “I love you Zheera, and I wish by the Gods themselves that there was a way to avoid the pain, but there isn’t. I am going to be as gentle as I can. And don’t be frightened if I scream, I guess I am going to come almost immediately, and I’m usually loud.”
She blushed and here was an almost tender glimpse within her eyes, she swallowed. “I forgive you everything. I am grateful, I really am. You have showed me that this is wonderful, not frightening. I can deal with a little pain, you know that!”
He nodded. “I know, you are so brave my dear, and I am so honored to be your first, I hope you know that. There is no greater honor I know of.”
She made a grimace, gathered what was left of her strength and managed to slide her hands to his, grabbed his wrists and held on. “And I am honored too; I have been a jerk not to see what I have in you. I hope you can forgive me that?”
He just nodded, calmed himself and pushed his hips forward until he came in contact with her body.
She gasped and closed her eyes and he found his way, let himself slide back and forth against her a few times both to be lubricated and to allow her to feel him. He looked deep into her eyes, saw that she was still nervous but calm. “I love you Zheera”
He pulled back a little, changed the angle of his hips and then he pushed himself against her opening.
Zheera grabbed his wrists with all she had, bit her lip when she felt him push against her and she felt how he started to slide into her.
The feeling was extreme, it was happening, it was actually happening. She was losing her virginity there and then and she was overrun with sudden feelings. First there was just the feeling of pressure, then there was a sensation of something being stretched and she gasped. It felt so fantastic and at the same time it felt like she was too small.
And then he moved back again, thrust against her and this time something gave way inside of her, something got torn and she jerked as a sharp pain rushed through her. She tried to remain quiet but couldn’t, a shivering whimper escaped her and tears started to flow down her cheek. She was being torn apart, it shouldn’t hurt that bad!
Ighan too had tears in his eyes, the sound of her whimpering like that tore right into his soul and he gasped for air and whispered to her. “I am so sorry, so very sorry!”
She closed her eyes, felt him slide deeper into her and she had to fight to breathe, she was being filled to her breaking point or at least it felt like it and when he finally was in place she felt like she had been ripped open. The first pain did decrease slowly but she still felt like he was much too big. And at the same time it felt more right than anything she had ever done, there was pleasure there, but it was hidden underneath the pain. To feel him like that, inside of her, being as one with her was so overwhelming it brought her to even more tears. She had never known how intense this level of intimacy could feel or anticipated how close to him she felt right there and then.
She could feel him shiver, feel him breathe and he had closed his eyes and had an expression of almost desperate control on his face. She looked at him as he began to move again, saw his face change as his pleasure grew and she focused on that to take her mind away from the pain. And she felt him beginning to move within her, felt the smoothness of their bodies together, how he filled her and stretched her and made her complete.
And suddenly the discomfort did no longer matter, suddenly this was right and she wanted more and more. It did not matter how much it hurt, she could not get enough of him.
Ighan noticed the change in her, her breath changed from that of a scared person to that of a person in the grasp of passion and he looked at her face. She still had tears in her eyes but they were shining now. She smiled at him, a shaky smile but a smile nonetheless. He changed his rhythm, lifted himself a bit higher and she gasped and let her head fall back, closed her eyes with her mouth open.
The pain was gone, now the feeling of him in her was just wonderful and fulfilling and everything she could have dreamed of and the warmth and the yearning she had felt earlier returned. She looked down, saw how their bodies met, and saw his narrow hips and his slender body move between her shivering thighs and the sight made the heat rush through her again. The waves were racing over the ocean once more, she dug her fingernails into his arms, shook all over and he gasped by the sight of her rekindled passion. He had to hold back until she reached her climax.
Zheera had never imagined that it could feel halfway this good. She could not believe it but it was real and she moaned his name and allowed herself to just drift along, abandoned all control and let her body follow its own rhythm. It was rising in her once more and she heard someone scream in utter desire and joy and realized that it was herself. And it happened once more and this time it was even more intense because this time she was filled by him and the muscles within her had something to work against and she screamed again and again as the waves rushed through her. She could feel something wet between them and knew it came from her but she did not care, all she cared about was that magnificent feeling of being whole.
And Ighan felt it too, felt how her tight passage grasped on to him, caressed him and brought him to the point of no return. He thrust hard into her once more and felt the warmth of her rush against him and then he came so violently that he feared he would faint.
He roared her name and struggled to remain in position as he emptied himself within her. And she screamed his name again and pushed herself toward him, shuddered in the same rhythm.
Zheera had not believed that she could feel his release but she could, she felt every detail of him and she felt something warm and wet deep inside of her and knew what it was. She felt a deep awe, why she did not know but she knew she had seen him more vulnerable than anyone else. Ighan collapsed on top of her, he was panting and he was covered with sweat and shivered still.
And she realized that she now could lift her arms, so she did. And placed them around him, held him close while his breath slowly returned to normal and his heart slowed down. And she knew that she never would let him go, never.
Ighan had never felt anything like this; he could not even find the words to describe his feelings. He was happier than ever before in his life and wanted this moment to last forever. He let himself slide down next to her and embraced her and she placed her face against his neck and he felt her warm breath against his skin and knew what complete happiness was.
He looked down, there was a little blood on her thighs and the sheet but not much and she did not seem to be in any pain any longer.
He was so glad it was done, it had been difficult for him to do this and the feeling of pleasure had been mixed with a huge amount of guilt until he saw that she started to enjoy it too. When the resistance within her gave way and she whimpered it felt like having his heart pierced and only the fact that he had given her some good feelings too stopped him from feeling like a terrible person. But now it was done and they did not have to worry about it again. He felt sleepy but he did not want to doze off, he wanted to share this night with her in every way. She was able to move now, the spell had been broken for sure and her colour was improving by the minute.
She put her arms around him and they just lay there, breathing in harmony and enjoying the feeling of being together and safe. The curtain moved a little bit and Dawn peeked in for a short moment. She saw that Zheera could move again and gave Ighan thumbs up with a smirk before she left the room. She was no longer needed and she had a feeling that the two would be happy if they had some privacy. Dawn smiled to herself, she had heard everything and Ighan had been wise in deed. Some men would just have rushed at it and fucked her no matter how painful it would have been to her but he had managed to awaken her natural desires and Dawn could bet her entire collection of fine old medical instruments that they would repeat the experience soon. And she would really be happy if Zheera’s belly started to grow, their clan needed to see that its future was safe.
Zheera fell asleep after a little and so Ighan gave in to his tiredness too. They lay there entwined like two trees growing close together and did not wake up again until the room started to get cold. Ighan pulled the blanket over them again and she smiled and looked as pleased as a cat with a whole bowl of cream. He had to laugh at her expression and she rubbed herself against him and did once more remind him of a playful kitten.
“I did not know what it meant to be really at peace, until now. It is weird really. I have shunned the good things in life and been devoted to killing and fighting. But Enrah wants balance; I have been a fool to forget that.”
Ighan kissed her on her ear and she giggled.
“You have not been a fool; you have been blinded by your own sense of duty. But you cannot carry the whole clan upon your shoulders my dear, you have to consider your own happiness. You must be more than just our leader, you must be yourself too. There are two cloaks you have to carry. One whence on duty and one for your everyday life. You have forgotten this. “
She grinned. “Not forgotten, I have not known that, so I guess I should thank the person behind this spell after all. Sometimes one needs to make a sacrifice to see the greater picture. “
She sighed and crawled closer to him. “I hope you will stay with me from now on? “
Ighan grinned and there was something playful and yet tender within his amber eyes. “Off course, a horde of angry trolls could not keep me away from you!”
She sighed and hid her face against his neck again and he was deeply moved. Suddenly she was as trustful as a child and he swore to himself that he never would do anything that might hurt her feelings. She was his world from now on.
After a while he got up and found some water and a cloth, cleaned them both up and she was shivering from his touch but this time it was not with fear or weakness. And he leaned down and kissed her belly button and before he even knew it he had his head down between her legs and she was gasping his name and leading him where she wanted his touch.
They repeated the joyful activity and this time he grabbed her and turned them around so she got on top of him. At first she seemed shocked since she was unaware that it could be done like that but then she calmed down and allowed herself to feel the difference from the first time and soon she was oblivious to the world around them once more.
And she was no longer afraid, instead she was very curious and wanted to try things out and he was thrilled by her eagerness and lack of inhibitions.
She did come several times while he held back as much as he could, there were limits to his endurance and they finally finished with her on all four and him behind her. Zheera felt strangely free and a bit naughty and the position made her feel his every move extremely well. The pleasure could not be described, it was beyond anything she could have imagined and she twisted around so she could watch his face. His hands were gripping her firmly and she felt safe there with him, like nothing bad could ever happen. She giggled and he opened his eyes and looked at her a bit confused. “What?”
She had to look down, blushed intensely. “Ah... I just got a thought.”
He was breathing hard now, close to his release and his voice was rough and hoarse.
She looked at his face again, there was a playful glint within her eyes and the pleasure made her gasp and move with his rhythm.
“Well, right now you are mounting me, like I was a mare and you a stallion.”
He had to smile but the smile was somewhat wicked and he increased his effort and she had to close her eyes and groan as the first throes of passion raced through her.
“That’s fine, as long as you don’t ask me to neigh!”
Zheera wanted to laugh by she had to scream and she shook violently against him and he closed his eyes and roared like a wounded animal, fell forward over her and she fell onto the bed with him on top, barely being able to breathe. They just lay there for several minutes, knocked out by their own emotions. Zheera turned around, embraced him again. “I am bloody sure that the one who put the spell on me didn’t mean for this to happen. I have lost nothing really, and gained so much more.”
Ighan smiled and sniffed at her hair, pulled her into his embrace and they lay there like two spoons in a drawer.
“That I am very sure off too my dear. If he or she knew they would be rather shocked I’d reckon.”
She just sighed and relaxed within the safety of his arms, everything would change from now on and she knew that love had made her ten times stronger than before. Her weakness was instead her strength and she would be a more complete person from now on. It was an oath she swore to herself, and one she had no intention to break ever.
A few months later a hunting party came across a small cabin in the woods outside a small village on the outskirts of the tyrant’s area. The cabin was empty and revealed that the owner was a person with doubtful intentions and lifestyle. It was filled with stolen objects and magical stuff and after a short while one of their dogs alerted the hunters of an interesting although somewhat disgusting smell.
They followed the scent and came to a clearing where a corpse hang from a branch. There wasn’t much left but the woman had been hanged and also burned and they could clearly see the handy work of the tyrant’s men. Why they had killed this witch they could not know but they did not even bother cutting the corpse down. It stank and the people of the village knew that this person had aided the tyrant on more than one occasion. They left her where she was as a reminder and warning to others, whatever she had been asked to do it had obviously not worked and this was the punishment. Sometimes spells turn on the one who makes them, and this time it probably had.
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, NuredhelWrite a Review