Perfect Illusion

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Chapter 34: One Day You Will

We’re falling in love with each other.

Seven words. So much trouble.

They spur in my mind, causing havoc, doing damages to every particle and fibre of my being.

Completely shattering what I once thought was impossible.

“No,” I shake my head abruptly, ”No.”

Daniel chuckles darkly, running his fingers through his hair. He often does that when he’s stressed out.

“But...” My voice trails off. I can’t be falling in love with Daniel. I knew that there is something more between Daniel and I, but me? Falling in love with him?

No way.

No fucking way.

“I’m with Nate.” I say when I can finally find my voice again. This time, my voice is steadier. “I like Nate. He’s... I’m with him.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t have feelings for him. You only think you do.”

My eyes shoot at him. “You don’t know anything about how I feel.”

“Oh trust me, I know a hell lot more than you do,” Daniel rasps, “And trust me on this. You’re running away from how you feel for me. So, you throw yourself into someone else’s arms. Nate. He makes you feel comfortable. Safe. You think you want that. But trust me, your heart says otherwise.”

“You cocky bastard,” I start to get up from the floor, my hands twitching, “I don’t have feelings for you. I hate you.” I seethe.

“You don’t hate me,” He gets up after me, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. His eyes are hard as stone. “You’re attracted to me.”

“Fuck you, Kerrington.” I flip him off. “I can’t be attracted to you. You’re a selfish, manipulative, arrogant little twat.”

“Little twat?” His eyes soften, radiating humor. “Really?”

I scrunch up my face and place my hand on my hips. “You know nothing about me.”

“I don’t?” He says like its a statement and he’s ready to prove me wrong. His eyes lock on mine, and they go dark and wild. As dark and wild as the fluttering in my insides. “Come here, sweetheart.”

“No.”

“Come here.” It’s not a request, it’s a demand.

I gulp.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” His face falls slightly.

Taking a deep breath, I take a few steps towards Daniel hesitantly. He slides his hands around my waist, grabbing me and pulling me until there’s little to no space in between us. My breath stalls in my throat. I don’t know what he’s going to do.

“I know all about you, Alexandria Woods,” He spins me around so my back is against his chest. One of his hands snake in my hair and the other glides down my stomach, resting on my hip. “I know that you’re crazy for me as just as much as I’m crazy for you.”

“Don’t.” I seethe. “You’re bullshitting me.”

“I know how I make you feel,” The deep roughness of his voice scrapes my flesh, “I know that sometimes when I touch you-” He buries his nose in my neck, growling softly. His deep inhale reaches me, and a shudder runs through my body. “You feel electrified. Wanted.”

Daniel is trying to make me feel flustered.

And it’s working.

One minute we’re at each other’s throats and the next, we’re... touching. In a totally sexual way.

We are very weird.

“The way you’re gaze sometimes lingers on my lips,” When he says that, one of his fingers trace my bottom lip, and I completely forget how to breathe. “You look at my lips like you want to kiss me. Real bad.”

“You’re clearly mistaken if you think I want to kiss you.” I manage to gasp.

“Why are you lying to yourself?” He murmurs, his breath hot against my ear, “You constantly wound me with your lies, sweetheart.”

“I’m not lying.”

His hand cups my face and turns it so I face him halfway. The intensity in his eyes almost makes me lose my composure. “Don’t tell me you don’t want this.” His lips graze my cheek, slowly making its way down my jaw.

Shit. I’m losing.

I can’t lose. He’s making me feel so damn flustered I can’t think.

It takes me a hell a lot of effort to pull myself away from his lips, his hands, his grasp. But I do it. Immediately when he lets go, I feel the absence of his skin against mine. I ache to feel him again.

No Alex! You are strong. You can do this!

What am I doing? Just minutes ago he has just confessed that he had a threesome. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. Suddenly, his touches fall flat. His words no longer sway me.

“No.” I say. “I don’t want this.”

He steps away from me, his arms folding over his chest. He wears a huge grin on his face, as if telling me he has already won. “One day, you will.”

“See you’re doing that thing again, trying to predict what I would do. Which will always be wrong.” I cast him my fakest smile yet.

He shakes his head. “I’m not wrong about this one. Don’t worry, Alex. When the time comes, you would be begging for me to kiss you.”

I gulp nervously as I walk away from him, a little part of me telling me he may just be right.


“He did what?” Cara shrieks over the phone. My ear bleeds.

“I know, I know.” I say, hunching my shoulder so my phone stays next to my ear. After the little episode with Daniel, I needed to calm myself down. I scrub myself clean of his essence, making sure I didn’t smell of him anymore. It took me a long bath and two showers to convince myself I’m Daniel-free. “It’s completely unbelievable.”

“I think it’s kind of hot.” She gushes. “The way he just grabbed you like that, and whispered into your ear, making your skin tingle... damn. Even I’m getting flustered just trying to picturing it.”

I had to tell Cara what happened. My mind was about to burst just thinking about it, and I had to let off some steam. And Cara was more than happy to hear about what had happened today.

“Stop saying stuff like that,” I tell her, “he had sex with those girls during Halloween remember?”

“And you kissed Nate and agreed to be his girlfriend, remember?” Cara teases me. I roll my eyes.

“It’s different.”

“How the hell is it different?” She laughs. “Is it because he used his dick to think instead of his heart? Because trust me, Alex, all guys are like that.” I sigh.

“Uh huh, you know I’m right,” Cara says a little too proudly. “Alex, It’s not about who’s more wrong in the situation. Or who deserves the pity card. It’s not even a fight, Alex. It may just be the beginning of a very... odd relationship.” “A relationship.” I echo, laughing.

“Yes!” Cara says.

“Uh no thanks,” I tell her, “I’m already in a relationship. I have a boyfriend that I really appreciate-”

“You appreciate Nate?” She chokes out a laugh, “you ran out on him in the middle of your date!” I stay silent.

I can already picture Cara shaking her head. “You’re a complete mess, Alex. I have no idea what to do with you.”

“But you love me.” I air kiss her.

“I know,” She says, fake disgusted. “That’s the horrible thing. Kind of wished I branched out and made more friends.”

“How about Simon?” I say, smiling to myself like an idiot, “isn’t he one of your new friends?”

Cara pauses for a heartbeat, unsure of how to take my question. “Yeah...” She says with uncertainty.

“Come on, Cara. You got to claim what is yours!” I snort, echoing the exact same words she said to me at the Halloween party.

“Screw you, Alex.”

“CARA AND SIMON SITTING ON A TREE, K I S S I N G-”

“Shut up!”

I can’t stop. This is too hilarious.

“FIRST COMES LOOOVE- oh wait no, FIRST COMES GAMING, THEN COMES

LOVE, THEN COMES LITTLE BLONDE AND REDHEADS COMING OUT OF YOUR

VA-”

“Okay that’s enough!” Cara squeals. “You really are one horrible person, Alex.” “I’m just PREACHING THE TRUTH!” I defend myself.

“Whatever.”

“You know I’m right.” I wriggle my eyebrows.

“Speaking of truth...” Her voice trails off, “aren’t you going to talk to your beloved?”

“My what?”

“NATE. I’m talking about Nate.”

“Oh.” I say, “right. I completely forgot. I was supposed to call him.”

“Uh-UH. So go do it.”

“I... Can’t.”

“Why not?”

I bite my lip. “Because I don’t know what to say.”

It’s true. I can’t just call him up and say sorry I couldn’t stay last night. Had mixed feelings about you. Daniel thinks I’m falling in love with him. YEAP. The big ‘L’ word. I mean, not Lesbian. Love. He thinks I’m falling in love with him. I think he may just be right. Anyways, wanna have lunch?

Yeah that would too weird.

“Tell him the truth!” She tells me. “Didn’t you just say you preached the truth?” “Well...”

“You fucking hypocrite!” She teases me. I throw my head back and laugh.

“Okay okay. I’ll call him.”

“You better.” She warns me over the phone. “Call me and tell me how it goes.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Don’t ‘whatever’ me. Only I get to ‘whatever’ you.”

“WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER-”

Aaaaaand she hangs up on me.

Chuckling to myself slightly, I scroll through my contacts and my index finger lingers on Nate’s name.

I know I should call him. He needs to know what’s going on with me. If I were in his shoes, I would want to know.

But what do I even tell him?

Before I can even answer my own question, I press call. Nate answers on the third ring.

“Hi, Nate.” I breathe.

“Alex.” His tone doesn’t sound very enticing. I try to ignore it.

“I know, you’re very pissed at me. And I just want to say that I’m okay and I truly appreciated everything you’ve done for our date last night. It was a really great date-”

“Until you ran out on me.”

“Well, yes. And I should apologize.” A pause.

“I’m sorry, Nate. I’m a messed-up person. I’m indecisive and sometimes I don’t know what I want. I’m stupid and I make stupid mistakes. And running out on you like that was a stupid mistake. One that I will regret for a long time.” I hear Nate’s uneven breaths through the phone.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I tell him. Then I come up with a brilliant solution. “And I know just how to do it.”

“How?” Curiosity laces his word.

I smile knowingly. “What are you doing this weekend?”

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