It was a typical day for me, Yeap typically aggravating. I hate my job, ok well not my job per say but the people. I hate the people at my job. Hate is such a very strong word, dislike is better. I really dislike the people at my job. This is the thought that consumes me as a costumer stands in my face grinning at me with teeth that are far and few between. I’m so serious each tooth is so spaced out I’m sure each tooth needs directions to the next. I muster up a smile I’m sure it looks fake as hell or it makes me look like a serial killer. Either way I don’t give a damn my feet hurt, my boss is a jerk and I’ve been ready to go home since I got out of bed this morning.
My shift is over in 5….4…..3…...2….. As I’m handing yuck mouth his receipt I hear over the loud speaker “Skylar please report to the management office, Skylar J. Please report to management office”. I must be in trouble because my boss never uses my full name, it’s usually Sky. He says it so much I’m really contemplating changing it to a non pronounceable name. Before I could turn off my open light to see what hell on wheels is blaming me for this time, the sexiest man I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying my beautiful browns on walks up. I feel the cool aide smile on my face way too late. I must look like an idiot and I have no earthly idea how long I stood there looking like a smiling fool before I spoke.
“Find everything you were looking for?” I ask sex on legs and lord he smiles. God that smile I bet has made very many panties drop. “Yeah, I think so” He says looking at the 3 items he has on the conveyer belt. He looks familiar but I haven’t seen him enough to place him as anything but a flash. I ring him up feeling better about my day when I remember I need to go see Brad. This man here needs a pre Xanax so he doesn’t get so over whelm from taking Xanax.
I walk into his office, he’s sitting behind a desk that looks like it has exploded and the remnants are now scattered everywhere. He looks up from whatever he’s pretending to do because we all know he doesn’t really do shit. It’s the night manager that does it all, all the employees know the deal but we keep our mouths shut because he’s a hair trigger and ain’t nobody got time for his cattiness.
45 minutes later I’m walking out of his office shaking my damn head. This man has balls I mean huge cohunes. The entire conversation was about him trying to get with the night manager who just happens to be my best friend. She’ll never go for it; she may flirt because when she does it’s the only time he seems to have any act right in him. Looking at him across his desk, he’s not a bad looking guy, not at all. It’s his personality that makes him unappealing. He’s too forceful to get his way and aggressive when he doesn’t. “You can’t force someone to date you even if they like you and that aggressiveness thing you have going on” I had said, he has it in spades and that coupled with his corny ass pick up lines “I want to take you out, I don’t care what you have going on. Make it happen”. This is what he told a customer that was flirting with him one day. It’ll never work with Nikki, and the sad part is he’ll never understand why. I fire off a text to Nicole as soon as I’m in my car.
Skylar: “Hey Nikki you really need to do something about your boyfriend, he called me to his office to grill me about you.”
As I wait for her response, knowing Nicole it’ll take a while. Hell I’ll probably be home half asleep before she even thinks about responding. Driving home I’m thinking about the long weekend I have coming up. What should I do? I’ll probably end up home on my couch like every other weekend. Fresh out the shower I hear the notification sound go off on my phone. Knowing its most likely Nicole I continue getting ready for bed I’m beat.
Once I grab a late night snack because I just don’t have the energy to cook anything real, I finally check my phone. I was right it was Nikki with an angry emoji, she doesn’t like the day manager at all. I tell her a little about what he says and the rest of my shift. I tell her about the sexiness that came in and also about the guy whose teeth needs directions to find the others.
Next day I’m back on shift, for the most part I like my job. I constantly get to meet new people and make friends for life. The store I work in is more of an upscale bodega, you know fancy cheeses and wine, specialty fruit, and fresh baked goods, that kind of stuff. I’m on a register again and I have no idea why. I’m a baker, hell I’m the reason for the fresh baked goods that we sale here. Be a team player they said, it’ll be fun they said, you like new adventures so just think of it as an adventure in cashiering. Nikki had said one day as she begged me to cover for a worker that could only be considered as flaky on a good day.
You know what I say; bull swanky, there’s is nothing adventures about being on your feet while every man and some women hit on you all damn day. Just as the thought crosses my mind that this is the last day I fill in for anybody, yuck mouth comes back. This all but seals the deal on me going back to my ovens where I won’t ever have to see his smile, if you can call it that again. Now, ok I know Yuck mouth is not a nice name to give someone but if you could see what I saw. It’s not just the fact that his teeth need directions it’s also the fact that they’re multi colored. So he may in fact have all of his teeth, they just maybe to dark for me to see is all, who the hell knows? They maybe just trying to blend in with their surroundings.
I give my politest smile but I think it just makes me look constipated because yuck mouths face falls. Now this is a good and bad thing. Good because maybe just maybe today is the day he’ll stop asking me out. He came in the store 3 times yesterday, God I hope he stops asking me out, I’m running out of shit to say. Just as he starts to speak the entirely too cute guy that was in here yesterday steps back into my line, I give him a genuine smile and yuck mouth thinks it’s for him. I mean come on dude you’re wearing a two thousand dollar suite and you can’t do anything with your teeth. This is what I would like to say to him along with stop smiling at me please I think it’s making me nauseas. But instead I give a polite smile back and he smiles just a little brighter than before, great just freaking great just what I needed to see, the back of his throat, I think.
I quickly ring his items up and make sure to not touch him while handing him his receipt. I don’t need him thinking that I mean anything by the accidental contact. I give another cordial smile as he grabs his bag but he doesn’t move, instead he just stands there giving me what I’m sure he thinks is a seductive smile and leans in as if he’s getting set to whisper in my ear. I’m guessing he thinks he looks dashing but it’s really just making me want to lose whatever’s in my stomach right now. Luckily for me the cute guy from yesterday must see the horrified look on my face and he smoothly steps in just as toothless leans even closer to me.
He clears his throat and says “Excuse me, I think it’s my turn”, but toothless doesn’t budge an inch. In fact he’s smiling more than before and the smell God the smell that’s has to be coming from his stomach because I’m pretty sure if he leaned the right way I could see straight down. As toothless raises his hand in what I fear is an attempt to touch my face. Yeap, it confirmed I’m going to throw the fuck up, right as I feel bile rising the cutie steps around toothless effectively making toothless back up a foot or two. Its then that I realize cutie is hot like extremely hot. Not too hot though you never want to date someone that’s too hot. You’ll be an insecure mess for the entire relationship and trust it won’t be a long one. But damn he can get it.
“Sir I would love it if you could back away from my future please.” Toothless says nothing at first, he looks at me and then at hotness. He raises his nose at us in disbelief “Your future huh? I don’t see your name on her.” What the fuck are we in cave man ages where a woman has to be marked by a man. This pisses me off and I stiffen next to the sexiness. But before I can snap sexiness speaks again “We’re trying to keep our relationship under wraps which is why she’s not wearing the ring that I bought her” Sexiness gives me a pointed look and I play along and drop my head sheepishly “nevertheless I would really appreciate it if you would back off,” Damn he smells good, wait what did he just say? His future, did he really just say his future? I must look like a deer in head lights because both men are looking at me right now. Are they waiting on an answer from me?
I take a chance and nod my head and say “Hmm yes” I answer with a smile. This does two things makes Mr. Hotness smile brighter and toothless looks a little cress fallen, then his face changes. God is that skepticism? What does he have to be suspicious of I don’t fucking know him; he has no reason to not trust what we’re saying is fact. Ok yes we are lying; I don’t know this man from a can of paint. I vaguely notice a small group of people watching with their phones out and for the life of me I can’t understand why they would want this on film. I start to really look around as the crowd is growing in size and it is making me extremely uncomfortable and when’ I’m uncomfortable I either fidget or run. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad I want to run right now.
I slowly lock my register I have to get out of here. I have no idea why I’m moving so cautiously it’s almost like I don’t want to spoke a wild animal only problem is with all these people I feel like the trapped one in this scenario I’m the skittish one. I must have moved to fast because Mr. Hotness wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him. It takes everything in me not to jump clean out of my skin. But I manage by remembering he’s doing this for me he’s come to my rescue and is lying for me and the last thing I want to do is make him look like a fool when he’s only trying to help. With that in mind I steal my nerves I find that being in his arms is very comforting. I don’t have the need to run anymore, wow.
These two are still trading words when I come back from my pre panic attack when I hear “Yeah we haven’t set a date yet but she already made me the happiest man in the universe by her just saying yes.” A round of applause breaks out. Wait a fucking minute what in fresh hell is happening? I’m going to completely lose my shit. I’m ok with a little white lie, but this, this is …….Wow. I don’t even know this man’s name and he’s lying to this extent just so some shady business man will leave me alone. Talk about going above and beyond for a stranger. That thought allows me to catch my breath, I mean if this man can do this for me the least I could do is smile and not freak the fuck out. So as much as I would like to I don’t, I actually find the need to freak out has evaporated as he starts to rub small circles on my hip. Wait when did his hand move to my hip?