As humans we often run and hide from things we think we can’t defeat. Sometimes there are things we just can’t run from. At first for me it was a fist fight. Then as time went on and I found that what I really couldn’t escape was falling. And that was hard for me. But in the end you have to be willing to fight for what you believe in whether it be someone or something.
I could feel the split in my lip. It was probably from my lip ring tearing out. I felt a really hard tug on my arm I looked over at Mrs.Right she was walking me up to the principal’s office for the 3rd time this week. She knocked on the door and let herself in. The principal, Mr.Hall was sitting at his desk. She flung me into the chair and walked out. “That lady,” I said under my breath.
“Mrs. Snow I am very disappointed!” he said loudly.
“So am I!” I yelled “I mean she just let that bitch go!” I yelled.
He gave me a look that said “I’m talking about with you,” I mouthed O.
“This is the 3rd offense this week Mrs.Snow. We can not allow it,”
“Yea, yea I know, I know it’s bad for the school to be known for letting fighting happen you’ll have to suspend me, whatever,” truthfully it was not whatever. I mean I have been kicked out of so many schools. I just couldn’t keep my anger to myself.
“Mrs. Snow have you been to your management classes?” he asked me.
“Oh yes of course I have why would I miss those boring ass meetings? Even though they last an hour with some boring ass zen old man who probably beat his wife before she left him and is only teaching the class to prove to his mother he’s not insane he just has anger issues. Yea very fun and relaxing,” I said sarcastically. Of course I have been to those meetings I mean my dad made me go. And my mother acts like none of this is actually her fault. But we all know how it is.
“Have you been talking to those who Anger you about why they do so?” he raised his eyebrows.
“I tried with that psychotic bitch but she just kept talking like she was asking for it.” I said.
“I mean your parents Mrs.Snow?” he asked.
“You want me to talk to my coward of a mother who walked out on me and my dad, I mean I might as well drink just like she does and act like I didn’t leave my husband and daughter for 2 years with no contact. Yea great plan!” I yelled.
“Have you tried forgiving her?” ok this dude is too much in my Negocio.
“What is there to forgive the only reason she came back was because the bastard she was sleeping with didn’t want her anymore. So she tried to get my father back and if she couldn’t be with my father she wanted to be apart of his life somehow. So what do you know she started pretending like she wanted to be around me.” I said all hot tempered. Because I supposedly had anger issues, pendejo.
“Ok well your father’s on his way” he informed me then he got up and left.
Fifteen minutes went by then I heard the door open. My father walked in he sat besides me and waited. In silence. Finally Mr. Hall came back in and started talking I zoned out. It was along time ago that my mother left but it still feels fresh. It’s not like that’s the only reason I have anger problems there are a lot of reasons. She was just the start and the hardest hit.
“Ok well let’s go.” My dad said standing up. I stood and stuck my hands out dramatically “Ok take me away,”
“Blair I’m serious, let’s go” he said strictly. I followed him out the door.
Once we got home he opened his mouth to talk but I cut him off
“I know, I know. ‘Go to your room you’re grounded this time for 3 months and don’t think I’m not going to talk to your mother about this, Because I definitely am and if you think that that’s all it’s not. You’re in for it missy. I can’t believe you. Why do you do this?’ Then I say ‘i don’t know’ then you say ‘that’s it go to your room.’” I concluded rolling my eyes. He shook his head.
“Nope that’s not what I was going to say,”
“Huh? That’s what you always say,” I argue
“This time you’re going to live with your mom,”
“No, no, no, not happening. Are you really trying to get rid of me? You don’t know what it’s like over there. Are you trying to turn me into an alcoholic prostitute!” I shriek
“Stop!” he yelled “I’m done listening to you bash your mother. She is trying. She offered to take you, she has made her mistakes and as far as i’m concerned you’re headed that way.” I huffed and turned to walk to my room. “ She’s picking you up in 2 hours so be ready,” I continued to walk up the stairs to my room. Once I closed the door I locked it and walked to the picture frame on my desk. The picture was of an ex boyfriend and I. The one next to it was of all 7 of us friends together. There was Rosalie. . She was a Latina(like most people I hang out with) girl who was really quiet, with the frizziest black hair. She moved to Nevada. After we had a fight. Then next to her was Jose. He was a skinny mexican that almost any girl swooned over. He was a receiver, and my best guy friend. I don’t talk to him much anymore. Though we were bestfriends. Then there’s Trey , he’s my ex boyfriend somehow we were still all friends, even though he acts like such an ass. He was a greek god according to every other girl in my class. He had long brown hair with blue eyes. He also played football. Then there’s Carter he’s long gone. He died a year ago in a car accident. He was the glue that held us all together. Then there is my other best friend named Itzel she was a Mexican with pretty brown eyes, I became really close with her my 6th grade year. There was also My friend named Jasmine she was white with blonde hair. She always reminded me of a princess in a storybook. Lastly there was me. A brown hair blue eyed white girl who could speak fluent spanish (because of my father being Latino) but couldn’t stay out of trouble. I hadn’t talked to many of my old friends since Carter died at the beginning of my sophomore year (me now being a junior). Though we did remain a friend group for the next 2 months it was hard to pretend what happened, hadn’t happened. So it was quiet and sad. That’s when all the trouble I caused started. I opened the picture frame and out slipped the note I kept in there so my father wouldn’t find it. There were actually 2 one from Carter and one from Trey . When Carter got hit he had trouble with his head. He was in a coma for a while then when he woke he wrote me a letter then a couple hours later he died. My father says that he wasn’t finished fighting till he gave me that letter, then he knew his time was up. And everyone else’s blamed me, was mad at me because I was the only and final goodbye Carter heard before he died.
I could hear my dad coming up the steps so before I got the chance to read the letter again I had to put it away. He knocked.
“Wow I’m surprised that you knocked” I said as he came in.
“What do you mean? I always knock,” he said confused. He was right he did always knock.
“But you know who doesn’t? Mom. Dad you can’t seriously be considering sending me down there?” I begged
“I have told you time and time again Blair. But you don’t listen,” he said frustrated.
“What about all my friends I don’t want to not see them. I mean it’s bad enough I don’t go to school with them anymore” I whined. He hated it when I whined.it’s not like I see them anymore anyway but in case they happened to be in the neighborhood and wanted to say hi. Which isn’t likely to happen.
“That was your fault for fighting that one girl” he yelled.
“Jessica? But dad she was a crazy ass hoe who couldn’t keep herself from being exposed,” I said back, I was the one who exposed her and then she tried to throw hands and things got really bad.
“Language Blair! This is still my house and for the next hour and a half you will behave as so,” he continued yelling.
“Great so mom left us to go shag with some other dude then came back because he cheated on her and now you’re sending me to live with her. Wow I guess I am kinda unwanted.” I said slightly hurt.
Then I continued “and besides that I don’t have any of my friends anymore because I am too much trouble,”
“Por Dios, Blair you’re not moving that far. You’ll still go to school around here”
“If there isn’t one i’ve been expelled at” I snort.
“Not funny Blair,” he warned as I heard tires coming up the driveway.
“Clean this room and I mean seriously clean it” he walked out closing my door. The last person I had actually talked to in my old life was Jose because I had screwed up every other relationship then I screwed that one up. Good job Blair. Then I got up to put a new shirt on and my door flew open.
“Hi honey,” she said. She was white, my dad was like 40% Latino and I was whitewashed.
“Mom I’m undressing” I shoved her out then finished putting my shirt on.
When I finished I came outside of my room and came face to face with my father “told you she never knocks,” is the first thing I say.
“Oh honey it’s not like you have a boyfriend. Wait unless you do. Do you?” she started to get all girly on me but I knew it was an act so I said “Cortar la basura mama ”
“Blair!” my father yelled at me.
“What? I see what she’s doing” he huffed and said
“Omg enough with the conspiracy theories, she is your mother for crying out loud!”
“It’s fine Larenzo it’s understandable. She’s mad and that is her feeling and I have to learn to live with what I have done and accept that maybe she’s not ready to forgive me yet. But lord almighty as my witness I will be here when she is ready,” she smiled at my father.
“Im standing right here you know and I will never be ready” I grabbed my bags from my room “Should I wait in the car or…?” I asked wanting to just get out of here
“Yes I’ll be there in a minute hon… Blair” she corrected herself
I ran out to the car as fast as I could and got in the front seat. I mean it was 7th grade when she left my father and trust me they didn’t have the best relationship by all means. All the time since I was at least 5 I could hear them arguing with each other all night long. She would scream at him that ‘he was always lying and never spending enough time with her because he was to busy at work’ and he would yell at her that ‘at least he had a job and somebody had to support the family. That if she wanted nice cloths and a nice life for her daughter then he was the one who had to work for it.’ Not that she cared about me. I was a burden to her. When I was born she took care of me for the first year then after that it was nannies galore. That’s when I started to act like the devil child or like the antichrist as my pastor would have said. I stopped going to church the moment my mom left us. She never wanted to take care of me because my father always called me his little princess and always gave me most of his time, but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do once you have kids? My grandma says that my father fell in love too fast married to young and did not live enough. She said that he should have waited a couple more years to have me but by then they probably would have been divorced because she would of course find something to bitch about. She always does.
She ran into the car and looked really shy at me. “I got a new house, you’ll have your own big bedroom” she said.
“Let me guess new guy bought it for you?” I said rudely she was hurt and I could see it out of the corner of my eye.
“Actually I bought it, I thought eventually your father wouldn’t know how to deal with you and he would send you to me. I always thought he was too strict in some areas but not strict enough in others.”
“I honestly don’t care” I mumbled staring out the window
“Of course you don’t, well it doesn’t matter. I thought i’d let you know that our house is awfully close to Sunnyvale.” Sunnyvale is where I had all my old friends.
“Yea your father told me you’ve been having a really hard time without all your old friends and that you’ve missed them, so I thought maybe you’d like to go see them,”
“They hate me mom” she hit her brakes and looked at me “why would you say that Blair?”
“Because it’s true, I ruin their lives like I ruin everyone else’s lives,” I say gloomy
“Blair what happened sweetie?”
“With which one?” I said feeling tears.
“Everyone… start with Trey ” I was startled she even remembered his name
“Well thanks to you mother I didn’t know how to handle a relationship, because of the anxiety and depression it was just too much and I had to break up with him, then he just started ignoring me” I said drying my eyes with my sleeve.
“I’m so sorry honey I know he meant alot to you, did you try telling him about what I had done to you and your father and how that affected you?”
“No he told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and that was my problem ”
“Oh” her face fell “and Rosalie?”
“She moved after she thought I was kissing the boy she liked because he said we were,”
“Where did she move to?” my mother asked folding her hair into a bun. We were at a stop light about 15 minutes away from the school I went to.
“Nevada” I said “and Itzel was mad because she thought I liked Ben”
“Ben was her brother right?” she asked clarifying
“Oh ok and Jazmin?”
“Well I don’t know she just said she never wanted to speak to me again. Though I do think she was mad because of what happened with Itzel,”
“Just stopped talking after I got into a fight with his girlfriend’
“They still dating?” she asked me surprised. It didn’t surprise me she was surprised. If Jose could he would burn through girls like a car burns through oil, like its nothin.
“Who? Jose and Maria? Yeah.” I said. When Jose and I were good friends, he would come over and hang out with my family, mom loved him so much she pretty much liked that he came over. She told me that it kept me out of trouble. She liked him so much that when she met Maria she wanted Jose to start bringing her over to. She was nice enough, I just didn’t think she deserved Jose.
“The best advice I could give you is hope once they see you at school then they will forgive you,” she smiled slightly
“School I was expelled from that school” I said confused
“Yea well I know some people in the administration and they helped me get you back in.” I frowned this is exactly what I was afraid of, she’s trying to get me to cave and I refuse to. Thank the good lord we were at the house. I don’t know if I could stand her for any longer.
* Princesa: princess
*Cortar la basura mama: Cut the crap mom
*Por Dios: good lord