Chapter 1
“Oh, God, Joe! That’s it. Jesus… Harder. Faster!”
I looked up from my homework and rolled my eyes. Joe, my older brother, had what’s-her-name yelling about God and Jesus up in his bedroom again. It was the same every afternoon. Between the time we got home from school and our parents got home from work, Joe took his flavor-of-the-week into his room so they could make animal noises.
It had started in the fall when Joe got his driver’s license and a cheap used car. Once he could drive to and from school, he seemed to become irresistible. Our private school isn’t as big as the local public schools, but it’s big enough to let him have a new girl every week or two for the last six months.
I was too young to drive, too young to date, and never been kissed. That didn’t keep me from thinking about sex, especially with Joe’s afternoon ritual serving as a reminder. And as much as hearing my brother screwing all the time bothered me, it did make me curious about the whole thing.
I took a health class way back before I started my period. The class had explained all the biology involved in reproduction but never answered my burning questions. I’d learned more listening to Joe, disgusting as it was.
Sex obviously felt really good, which had never been stressed in health class. They had talked about sex building up to an orgasm, whatever that was, but no one explained what it actually felt like and I was too embarrassed to ask in front of the class.
My bestie, Bethany, and I had discussed it at length, which led us to internet videos of guys rubbing themselves until they shot their stuff all over the place. And the girls rubbed their vee in circles until they peed or jerked around a little. Watching it made my vee drool, but when I tried rubbing like they did… nothing big happened. I mean, it felt nice, but nothing like the wild howls and shaky legs I saw in those videos.
I had just returned my attention to my algebra homework when I heard a quiet knock on the front door. Walking over to open it, I found my brother’s best friend Mark waiting. He was all sweaty, only wearing shorts and running shoes.
“Hey, Squirt. Is Joe here?” he asked as he looked over my shoulder.
“Yeah, he’s bangin’ whats-her-name.” Joe smelled good. Not good like cologne. He smelled salty and warm. Sweat dripped down his chest and I had the crazy compulsion to taste it. Gross! Instead, I gave him a long-suffering look and asked, “Wanna drink while you wait for him to finish?”
He chuckled and said, “Sure.”
Mark had never made me nervous before, but there was a little tingle in my stomach as I led him to the kitchen. It was cliche, but I’d had a crush on him for years. Only he was three years older, like my brother, and unreachable. And if anything ever happened, my Dad would have kittens before killing Mark and locking me in my room.
My hands trembled as I opened the fridge. Mark sat on the stool at the kitchen counter next to my homework. The cold air from the fridge made my boobs poke out. Or maybe it was the gaze I felt resting on me as I stood there.
“We’ve only got this,” I said and showed him a bottle of that green sports drink.
“That’s fine. Thanks.”
His eyes dipped to my chest for a second. Perv… It seemed like every guy wanted to peek at how the girls were growing. All ages, from kids to grandpas. They were like nature’s eye magnet.
When I tried to get the plastic cap open, he took it from me to twist it off easily. The muscles in his arms got tight when he did it and made me swallow hard. I kept telling myself it was just Mark. I’d known him most of my life. Why was he suddenly making me feel so stupid?
When he tilted the bottle back to drink, that thing guys have in their throats moved up and down. It hypnotized me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. There was still sweat dripping out of his wet hair and down his neck. And I still wanted a taste. Damn.
“Oh, I needed that,” he said. After crushing the bottle and putting the lid back on, he tossed the remains to me and I caught it easily.
“Good catch!”
I felt my face heat at his smile and tossed the collapsed bottle in the trash next to the kitchen island.
“Whatever,” I mumbled, trying not to show how messed up he had me.
I sat on the stool next to his and picked up my pencil. I was close enough to smell him again. He looked down at me with a brotherly smile and mussed my pale blonde hair. That sent a shiver down my back and made the hairs stand up on my arms.
Mark noticed my reaction and his easy smile faded a touch. He cleared his throat and let out a sigh.
“So he just screws her up there while you sit around down here?”
It sounded weird when he said it like that. I mean, it had always been weird to me, but I guess I’d gotten used to it.
“Yeah.”
When I looked up at him smiling at me, I couldn’t take my eyes off his handsome face. His cheeks were shadowed like he hadn’t shaved. I had a sudden, irresistible compulsion to touch him. And before I could stop myself… I did. My heart thudded in my chest. It felt like someone else had moved my hand to brush against his face.
“What’s this for?” he asked as my fingers traced his jaw.
I was embarrassed, but loved the rough texture of his skin too much to pull my hand back right away. A warm heaviness filled my stomach. His skin was still damp. When I pulled my hand back, I rubbed my fingers along my lips like some kind of freak.
“I don’t know,” I whispered with his salty flavor on my lips.
His tongue wet his own lips as he pinned me with a sharper gaze. Then his eyes got darker and he studied me like he’d never seen me before.
“You’re gonna be beautiful someday,” he whispered.
His eyes dropped to my chest again and lingered. My nipples were so hard it was like I wasn’t even wearing a t-shirt. Even worse, I’d taken off my bra when I’d gotten home from school and changed out of our uniform, so he could see every detail. Then his eyes dropped to my bare legs and feet. Everywhere his eyes passed crackled with electricity.
“But not now?” I asked with a quaver in my voice.
He was so hot. It made my chest ache that he didn’t think I was beautiful now. I lifted my shoulders and pushed out what little I had. My boobs had grown the last couple of years, but were still just handfuls topped with pokey nipples.
“Yeah, you’re beautiful now, too, but someday you’re gonna be a real heart breaker.” His comment made it feel like butterflies beat against my skin.
I could hear Joe’s bed was still squeaking, but at least what’s-her-name had shut up for a while. I wondered about so many things that didn’t make sense. Mark was making me so crazy, but I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted to ask him if he would kiss me, but I knew he would just laugh. Instead of asking, I leaned closer and put my hand on his sweaty shoulder for balance. His eyebrows drew together, but he didn’t say anything or pull away.
I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see if he made a face. My first kiss was sweet, but only lasted a moment. I didn’t really know what to do, but just pressing against his lips made my stomach heat even more. When I pulled back, he let out a slow breath as I opened my eyes.
For a moment he had a look of wonder on his face, then he frowned. “Hold on, Squirt, you can’t just kiss people like that.”
“Did I do it wrong?” My hands covered my mouth. The idea that I’d screwed up my first kiss hurt like a physical pain. Mark was going to think I was a total head-case, if he didn’t already. “Shit.”
His eyes widened. “No, hey, it’s okay. You did just fine, but I’m a little old for you, yeah?”
“I don’t care,” I said, embarrassed by the tears welling in my eyes. “I just wanted to kiss you.”
“Wait, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
How can I do that when I don’t know myself?
Mark reached over to grip my shoulder with his hand. His touch made me shiver and confused me even more. So I dropped off the stool and ran upstairs to my room. Then I threw myself on my bed before rolling on my back and covering my face with a pillow, crying in embarrassment for what I’d just done.
My body felt like an engine revved up to the red line. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I could feel it all over. I pulled the pillow down harder and screamed in frustration at my lack of control. What the hell was wrong with me? It felt like little sparks were crawling all over my body and I had no idea how to make it stop.
I was still trembling a few minutes later when Mark came in to sit on my bed. He touched my bare calf and rubbed it for a minute. The heat in my stomach exploded into lava that flowed lower, but I refused to remove the pillow.
“Hey, come on. Talk to me.”
I took a deep shuddering breath when I let him push the pillow up. The tracks of my tears were suddenly cold. Concern was etched into Mark’s face. I could hear what’s-her-name making those stupid noises again and it suddenly pissed me off. I was so aggravated that the truth jumped out before I could stop it.
“I just wanted to kiss you.”
“It was a fine kiss.”
I glanced away as I whispered, “It was my first kiss.”
That made him pause. I could tell he was staring at me again. Legs, shorts, stomach, boobs. My arms crossed over my chest on their own. When I glanced back, he pressed his lips together and stared at my face with a serious expression.
“I’m honored you picked me.”
I couldn’t tell if he was humoring me or if he meant it. “Would you kiss me again?” I whispered, the control I’d managed slipping away again.
He didn’t move for a moment. Then he placed his hands on either side of me and lowered his face to mine. After searching my eyes, he kissed me. My hands moved on their own to circle around to his back. Touching his damp skin, I pulled until I lifted myself up against him. I don’t know what he intended, but I wanted a real kiss.
I was on fire for him now. The lava in my stomach boiled out and left me wanting to rub myself again. Somehow I knew this time would be different. Maybe I’d find out what all those clinical sounding words felt like.
There was a moment when I thought he would pull away, but then I felt his lips part and his tongue tickle along my lips. The rush of tingles made me moan into his mouth and he took the moment to dip his tongue between my lips to touch mine. The sensation made me want to open up to his touch. Clutching his back, I ran my fingers into his hair and felt him moan in return. He broke the kiss, but I refused to let him go.
“We gotta stop. This isn’t right. Your brother will beat me to death if he catches us.”
“Just a little more,” I begged, all composure gone. The need consumed me like nothing I’d ever felt. Before he could answer, I pushed my mouth against his and claimed him. The rough skin along his lips added texture to the kiss. He fought for a moment, but eventually lowered us both back down.
He still sat next to me on the bed, but feeling his weight pressing me into my mattress did something in my panties. For the last few years my vee drooled like a toothless old woman. I’d been wearing panty liners to keep from wrecking all my good panties, but this wasn’t like it usually was. This time my panties felt slippery and I had the compulsion to rub against something. Anything. Mark.
I ran my hands along his sides so I could rub his shoulders and back. He shivered and sucked air as my fingers traced up his neck and into his hair. It made me feel powerful and I hadn’t expected that. He was reacting like I was irresistible. Me!
“Stop,” he begged. “Please, I can’t do this.”
I rubbed my hands over his chest when he lifted himself up. Doing that had just given me more access to his body. His eyes fell to my chest as I tweaked his flat brown nipples. He stopped moving away as my thumbs brushed them and drew them into tight peaks.
Before he could move away, or I lost my nerve, I drew my t-shirt up, arching my back to get it off in one fast pull. His eyes remained riveted to my chest. My puffy nipples were standing up as hard as they’d ever been before.
“Damn,” he whispered at the sight.
I had to touch them so he would touch them. The logic made no sense, but it made sense in my head. I palmed them first, then pinched the nipples as I drew them out. Sparks shot down my stomach. His rapid breath fluttered against my skin, prickling my flesh.
“Please?” I begged. I don’t know what I was asking him for, but whatever it was I needed it like oxygen.
His eyes glued to my chest, he lowered his mouth to my right nipple and placed a gentle kiss on the tip. The whimper I made seemed to awaken him and he opened his mouth to cover the whole thing. His flat tongue licked my nipple, swirling slow circles all around it. I arched my back and flexed my toes to grip the sheets.
“Yes,” I hissed. The heat of his mouth made me boil to steam.
His hand covered my other breast, rolling the puffy tip between his thumb and finger. I reached around his head to hold him there, more afraid he would stop than continue. He switched nipples, making the dry one as wet as the first. I could only cling to his head and bite my lip to keep from crying out and giving us away to my brother in the next room.
Then his hand moved down my stomach, making the muscles pull away from his tickling touch. It also made it easier for his fingers to slip under the elastic band of my shorts and into my heat. I needed to kiss him again so I pulled until he came to my lips. He ate my mouth, biting and licking like I was food and he was starving.
My attention was split between his gasping mouth and his dancing fingers. He kissed down my chin to suck along my neck while I clung on. The sensation of someone touching my vee for the first time made me whine deep in my throat. His fingers traced around for a while, a delicious moment that made me jerk and gasp in response.
Then his fingers split me, rubbing up and down inside my panties until my legs fell apart. Each stroke made me shudder and gasp. It had never felt this way when I’d done it myself. In fact, I’d never imagined pleasure could feel like this. The pace increased as my hips rocked into his touch. I gripped him hard enough to quiver from the tension.
After he rubbed me back and forth for a bit, he rubbed his fingertips in circles at the top of my vee. My hips responded on their own, following the steady rhythm he’d set. My mouth was stuck open as I stared into his flushed face. He studied me while he continued to wind me higher.
“Cum for me,” he begged. “Let me feel it.”
I didn’t know what he meant, but something was happening that had never happened before. I pushed against his hand at a frantic pace, knowing instinctively this was the way to find the relief I needed. He kissed my open lips again, but I could only breathe his name.
“Mark, yes, Mark.”
I don’t know how to describe what happened next. My eyes shut on their own, but I saw colors shooting like fireworks. My body convulsed like I was being electrocuted, but I wasn’t scared because Mark was with me. Even though this had never happened before, I knew it was what all those people on the videos had felt. All those stupid diagrams in health class finally made sense! So many thoughts rocketed through my head that I’d have to write a book to explain them all.
“Wow,” I whispered at last, my legs shaking like the girls in the videos on the internet. The tingling that had been tormenting me for so long faded into a warm contentment.
When I came back to myself, Mark was sitting up giving me a nervous smile. He pulled his hand out of my shorts and did the grossest thing ever… he licked his fingers! I must have made a face because he chuckled silently.
“We never did this,” he said to me. “It never happened.”
No! Panic gripped me. How could he make me feel like that and then tell me never again? I gathered my t-shirt to cover my breasts. The sudden modesty and my pained expression must have communicated something to Mark, because he got a worried look on his face.
When I sat up, distracted, I recognized the scent in the room. It was the same as what Joe always had to cover up with air freshener. And I realized it came from our bodies.
“Seriously, this was a mistake,” he said, the worry lines deepening to a frown. “Never again.”
Something struck me then. Mark was scared! He’d only stressed never again because he really wanted to. I glanced down at his tented shorts. His cock looked mammoth through the fabric. The panic fled as I realized what it meant.
“It wasn’t that big before. What does it look like?”
“What? Never mind,” he said as he stood up. “I am not going there with you.”
“I thought guys had to cum when they got like that or it hurt.”
He stopped at the door and looked back with a cocked eyebrow. “I’ll live.”
“I could help.” He stopped and shut his eyes. I thought maybe there was a chance he’d let me, so I added, “If you show me how.”
“This isn’t a game. Your father would kill me!” He was pleading and I felt the power I had over him again. It was just as intoxicating as the pleasure he’d made me feel.
“I just want to understand how it works. You can show me at your house if you want. No one will know.”
He rubbed under his nose. I realized he wanted to smell me on his fingers when he held them there with his eyes shut. Then he walked out of my doorway and down the hall. I heard him stop next to Joe’s room. The bed was squeaking again and now I knew why what’s-her-name was making so much noise.
I got up and quickly tugged on my shirt. When I followed him out my doorway, Mark had his fingers in his hair and was staring away from me at the ceiling. The rhythmic creaks and fleshy slaps from Joe’s room filled the silence between us.
“Mark?” I whispered.
He didn’t turn around. “No one can know.”
“I swear.”
“Come on.”
