The bliss of hanging with Ronan all morning comes to a sad dull end when I have to go home to get ready for work. I don’t want to confront Blaire right now because I know it’s going to be a big blow up and I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready for her to treat me like I’m a child and I’m most definitely not ready to stand up for myself. I’ve never had to do that with her because I always let her have the final say in what I should do in certain situations.
Ronan senses my apprehension and halts me at the door before walking out.
“Look at me.” He says as he cups both sides of my face.
I glue my eyes to him and he smiles.
“You’re okay. You’re your own person. Never let anyone deter you from following your gut. I know you love your friend. I can tell the way all this is making you feel, but in life, we make decisions that not everyone will like or agree with. You have to decide if you want to keep that person in your life or not. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but just know that sometimes you have to walk alone.”
I nod and soak in his aged wisdom. Taking a deep breath and smile.
“Thank you. Thank you for letting me come here too.”
“That’s what I’m here for. As long as we’re in this together I’ll be here for you.”
“Good,” I smirk. “Well, I have to get going.”
“Call me later. Oh and this is for you. For spending the night and morning with me.” He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small money envelope.
“Oh, this is really starting?”
“Yes. This is the only time I’ll give you cash. I’ll be giving you a reloadable debit card that way your bank won’t get suspicious about large amounts of money being deposited into your account.”
I nod wondering just how much is in this envelop that he has to give disclosures. How much does a sugar baby get paid to spontaneously stay the night with your sugar daddy? I should actually be shocked that this is even a thing, but I’m slowly wrapping my head around it and it doesn’t seem that bad. The money is a perk, but for some reason, I actually like Ronan as a person. If he didn’t have this much money I’d still like him. I, however, think that the fact he has so much money has molded him into the guy he is today. That and the fact that he’s into being someone’s sugar daddy.
Ronan walks me to my car and waits till I pull out of the driveway before going back into his house. As I’m driving, I’m tempted to look inside the envelope to see just how much money there is, but I want to wait. If there’s too much money, I may wreck my already barely stable car. Speaking of, I guess I could get my car repaired with whatever is in this envelope sitting in my lap. I’m surprisingly taking this very well. Before, I thought I’d be a little freaked out, but that’s when I compared this to being a prostitute.
The whole way home, I think about the money in the envelope. I think about it so hard that I don’t realize I’m home until I’m putting the car in park. Taking a deep breath, I look over and see Blaire’s car sitting in the parking lot. Crap, I was hoping she’d be gone somewhere. I contemplate sitting in my car until she leaves, but that would be a dumb idea. It wouldn’t solve anything and I’d just have to confront her tomorrow.
Sigh, I gather my things and get out the car. There’s no turning back now.
Slowly, I get to the apartment door and I unlock it. When I open it, I hear Blaire in the kitchen. I turn the corner to the kitchen, but before I can get there, my foot hits something. Looking down, I see Blaire’s luggage.
I step over her and in the kitchen, she’s standing over the sink with her back turned to me.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m moving out.”
“What? Why?” I shake my head.
“I just think it’s time for me to move on. I need to start my own life again.” Her tone sounds cold as if she’s deliberately trying to hurt me.
“Is this really about last night? It’s not that serious.”
“Clearly it isn’t. Clearly, you choose some stranger over your own best friend.”
“I’m not choosing anything. I’m just making my own decisions for once. I’m sorry if you don’t like that, Blaire. I don’t try to dictate your life so why do you feel that you need to dictate mine?”
“Because I don’t want you to make the mistakes that I’ve made.”
“I’m not. I got you out of that situation so why would I put myself into one. No offense, but if you’d knocked him out with a bat long before I did, you wouldn’t have been in that situation so don’t act like we’re the same people, Blaire.” I don’t mean to sound harsh to her, but she needs to stop acting like this is on me.
Blaire turns around with a heated look on her face. Instead of backing down and apologizing, I stand my ground. This has gone on long enough. Blaire steps away from the sink and comes to me. Her rage lets me know that she wants to do something rash.
“Blaire, whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t.” I raise an eyebrow and she take some step back.
“I’m so sick of you. I’m tired of your little miss perfect act you have going on all the damn time. Yeah, you helped me when I couldn’t help myself, but I’m sick of trying to pay you back for it by being your friend when in fact, I don’t like you.”
“Are you serious!? Well then feel free to get your shit and get the hell out if you are finding it so hard to be around me.”
My words shock, Blaire and her mouth gapes open with no words coming out. I get tired of watching her stand there.
“Leave!!!” I shout, making her jump.
Tears swell in her eyes and I roll mine.
“Oh, what are you crying for? Did you think I was going to do beg for you to stay? In case you missed the memo, Blaire, I’m an adult and if you don’t like me then why should I care? So dry your tears and get out.” I don’t know what’s come over me, but I just can’t stand here and take everything she’s saying lightly. I can’t continue to let her get away with being like this. I’ve reached my limit with her overbearingness. I’d rather live here alone again than with someone who isn’t happy here.
I stand aside as Blaire picks up her bags, tears rolling down her eyes, regret setting in. I honestly don’t know what she thought she’d accomplish, but whatever it was, didn’t happen.
“I’ll...I’ll come get the rest of my things later.”
“Okay. leave the key when you’re done. Don’t take anything that isn’t yours.”
Blaire gives me a look as if I’m the most hateful person ever when she is the one who pushed me to be like this. I’ve never been this mean to anyone in my life, but Blaire picked a good time to test me. I’m starting to realize that Blaire wasn’t looking out for my best interest by disapproving of so many things I wanted. She just wanted me to be down in the dumps like her. Thankfully, Ronan came along and made me see that. His pull was too strong for me to listen to her any longer and her true colors began to show.
No, this isn’t me becoming come new stronger version of myself. I’ve always been strong. This is just me making some changes.
When Blaire is gone, I go to my room and flop down on my bed with my things. I was so distracted by Blaire that I nearly forgot the envelope Ronan gave me. Quickly, I fish it out of my bag and lay it down in front of me. I’m almost scared to open the dang thing. Slowly, I peel back the flap and immediately see green. Taking a deep breath, I pull the money out and slowly I start counting.
By the time I’m done, my mouth is hanging open. I can’t accept this. I just can’t. All I did was stay the night and eat food. That doesn’t warrant this much money. When I look down at the envelope again, I notice a small note with handwriting on it. I set the money down and unfold the strip of paper.
Dear Malina, I want to thank you for having dinner with me, meeting me for negotiations, and letting me comfort you last night. The $10,000 is for all the time we’ve spent together so far. Spend it wisely, dear. -Ronan