The whole next day, I can’t stop thinking about Ronan and the fact that he wants me to be his sugar baby. I also can’t stop thinking about actually accepting the offer after I do a little research on my own. I wait for Blaire to leave for work before doing my sugar daddy research. Still, in my yoga clothes, I curl up on the couch with a banana and peanut butter sandwich and a cup of warm tea. On my phone, I go to google and type in “Sugar daddy research”. After hitting enter, a slew of websites pop up about it. I scan through and pick a random one that seems like it might be helpful. Immediately I’m overwhelmed with a slew of information about allowances, trips, sex, and negotiations. What am I supposed to be negotiating? What’s an allowance?
I read through the topics and find out that a typical sugar daddy pays their “baby” a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly allowance to allow the baby to uphold a certain lifestyle. According to the article, most babies use the money for college tuition, bills, shopping, body upkeep, and a wide range of other amenities. I can’t imagine what I’d do with my allowance. I may catch up on some bills, buy some new clothes, get my car fixed or buy food. That’s pretty much it, but according to the article, sugar daddies expect their babies to look a certain way. Ronan has seen the way I dress and he hasn’t complained any. I suppose if we go somewhere important, I may need some fancier clothes, but I hope he doesn’t expect that of me every time we see each other. I’m not a dressy kind of girl. I love comfortable clothes.
I find a few articles from girls who have actually been sugar babies. They claim that getting into that kind of business is hard and yet Ronan kind of just fell into my lap. They say that you’re going to run into men who claim they have money but don’t and only want sex. Some say that they will have more than one sugar daddy just in case one calls it quits on the arrangement. All of it seems so complicated. I’m going to have to talk to Ronan about some of this stuff.
I haven’t texted him since last night when I reassured him that we’d meet again. He texted me good morning, but the only reply I gave was that I’m sleeping in and will talk to him later. I just need a little time to wrap my head around what I’m possibly going to agree to. I can only imagine what Blaire would think about me being a sugar baby. I’m sure she thinks it’s basically prostitution. It’s what I thought at the beginning, but after reading up on it, my opinion is shifting. Some girls say that they’ve never even had sex with their sugar daddies and still get paid a substantial about of money. Then there are some girls who do have sex. I suppose it’s all about preference and finding a man who agrees to those preferences. Would I have sex with Ronan if I were his sugar baby? Yes, I would, especially since I’d have sex with him for free.
When my eyes tire of reading articles, I go to the bathroom and run myself a hot bubble bath. I light a few candles and put on some ambient music before cutting the bathroom light off and letting the candles do their job. In the dim lighting, I sink down in the water, letting the bubbles rise up to my chin. When I close my eyes, I can’t help but picture Ronan touching me. I’ve never had a fascination with older men. I thought I was supposed to date within my age bracket, but nothing ever worked out. I never thought about dating older. I always thought it was a little perverted to do such a thing, but now the idea turns me on. I assume Ronan is experienced beyond my years. The way he talks to me lets me know that he knows exactly what he wants. The way he kissed me...was amazing. I’d never been kissed like that before.
Breaking my from my thoughts, my phone vibrates. When I look, I see that it’s Ronan, most likely calling to see if I’m still sleeping in. Little does he know, I sleep till noon almost every day.
I’m a little hesitant about answer the phone, but I hit the answer button anyways and put him on speaker.
“Malina.” He speaks in a dark cheerful tone.
“Ronan.” I mumble back, not wanting bubbles to get in my mouth
“Are you well rested?”
“Very much so. Thank you for asking.”
“It’s my pleasure. What do you have planned for the day?”
“Well, I plan on relaxing most of the day. I’m off so I don’t necessarily want to do anything.”
“What are you doing now?” He says with a touch of humor in his voice. It’s very different from his late night voice.
“At the moment I’m chin deep in a hot bubble bath.”
“Hmm.” He hums.
“What was that for?”
“I’m just imagining you in that bathtub. We should meet today to talk about last night.”
“I agree. I did some research on your proposal.”
“Oh really?” He chuckles.
“Yes, so I think we should discuss some things before I make any kind of decision.”
Ronan laughs and I frown, swaying my hands over the top of the bubbles, making them all one level.
“What’s so funny, mister?”
“You sound very grown up talking about this seeing as you’re only 20.”
“Well, I am a grown woman.”
“Barely, just barely.”
I’m about to say something when Ronan stops me.
“Speaking of age, how are you only 20 but working as a bartender?”
I pretty sure in all my working days, Ronan is the only one who’s caught to that small detail.
“Well, the bar is actually considered a restaurant and on paper, I’m just a server. It doesn’t specify what I serve. Phil, my boss knows the county health inspector so they are pretty hush about an underaged girl being a bartender. Phil really took a risk with me, but I worked hard and showed him that he needed me.”
“Ahh, you are a very hard working girl, Malina. This is why I want you. I want to give you things that you deserve. I want to show you better. At 20, you should be experiencing so many different things. With me, you can.”
I sit silently for a while and think about what he’s saying. He technically just wants to help me while also reaping the benefits too. I get to have a more relaxed life for however long and he gets a female companion. It’s a scratch my back, I scratch your’s kind of deal. It’s all really starting to make sense to me now. I’m still a little on the fence about it, but he’s swaying me to say yes one conversation at a time.
“I’m here. I’m just thinking.”
“About what? Talk to me, sweetheart.”
My heart swells when he calls me that. I can’t help but smile.
“Well, while doing my research, I read about some girls not having sex with their sugar daddies.”
“Yes. Some girls do omit sex from the negotiations.”
“Do you expect sex?”
Ronan falls quiet for a few moments before I hear him clear his throat.
“I only expect you to do whatever you feel comfortable with. I won’t pressure you into any situation. I want this to be something that unfolds naturally. Do you understand?”
I nod even though I know he can’t see me. I do understand though. He’s basically saying what happens, happens. I suppose that I can work with that. I like that he isn’t saying a definite yes or no. I know he wants sex, but he’s respectful enough to be okay without it.
“Thank you for answering my question.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Google can never fully answer your questions like an actual person can. Whenever you want to ask me something don’t be afraid to. If you agree to this arrangement, this my sole job is to basically make sure you completely care free in your position. If you’re every conflicted then talk to me. Most of the time worries just come from lack of communication. This is why I’d like to meet up somewhere personal so we can go through everything fully.”
As much as I wanted to stay in and do nothing today, the urge to see Ronan is impossible to resist.
“Where would you like to meet?”
“I have a private office downtown we can meet at. It’s open and not too personal. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We can meet there in an hour.”
“Okay, just send me the address and I’ll be there.”
“I’m glad you’re considering this and just not turning it down. I’m also happy that you’re not just jumping into the unknown. You’re a smart girl, Malina.”
“Thank you. You know you can call me Lina.”
“I prefer Malina. I like the way it rolls off of my tongue.”
For some reason, the mention of his tongue sends a shiver over me and I shake in the water, sending little waves around me. I remember the way his tongue danced with mine last night. I can only imagine how his tongue would feel in other places. I think about his tongue flicking over my nipples and over my belly button. My mind is about to go to a filthy place when I hear Ronan clear his throat.
“Yes. Um, I’ll see you in an hour.”
“Deal. See you then, doll.”
When I hang up, I take a deep breath, my nerves heightening at the thought of seeing him again. A part of me feels like all of this is just too much, but the desire to experience something so taboo for the first time in my life is impossible to turn away from. Ronan knows that I’m most likely going to say yes. My body language and conversation are dead giveaways of my interest in his as well as the arrangement. What he doesn’t know is when. I’m not going to make his wait forever for an answer, but it’s not going to be soemthing I agree to today or tomorrow. I need to make sure all my questions and concerns are dealt with before making that kind of decision. I’m happy that Ronan respects that.
Still in the bathtub, I begin washing myself and I decide to go the extra mile to smell nice so I use my more expensive body wash. Although, I’m not agreeing to be Ronan’s sugar baby doesn’t mean I don’t want him lusting after me like I am him. I feel like this whole situation is going to be very interesting.