Once I’m in my dorm, I fall into bed. I was so close to telling him but I couldn’t. So close to kissing him, but he pulled back. This couldn’t have gone a completely different direction. I pull the jacket out of my bag and hang it in the closet.
After pulling off my clothes, I go to sleep with Julius on my mind.
I decide not to go to class when I wake up early Wednesday. I just can’t show my face in class after last night. Knowing me, I wouldn’t be able to take it with him looking at me and acting like he didn’t hurt my feelings. He will know that he is the reason I’m not there though. I know he’ll feel guilty, but I don’t care.
Sensing the urge to go home for the weekend since Jul....Professor Ingram told me I don’t have to come tomorrow or Friday, I start to pack a few bags. I call my mom and tell her. She is overly happy since I haven’t even home in a month or so. I not really close with her like I am with my dad. She is just too uptight.
I finish packing a duffle bags and slide a note under Mya’s door along with the homework I needed her to turn in for me. I drive the 4-hour drive home without getting stuck in traffic. When I get home the house is empty since my parents are still at work. I go in the fridge and get an apple. Home sweet home.
I flop down on the couch and turn the TV on. It feels nice to not be at school, away from homework and Julius. My phone vibrates and I don’t recognize the number. I open the text.
I’m sorry about last night Krystal. Maybe it’s for the best if we keep it on a professional level.
I toss the phone on the couch without replying. We had a moment last night and there is no denying it, but deep down he doesn’t want Krystal. “Professional my butt” I crossed that line when I kissed you.
When my parents get home, I go through countless hugs and kisses. They tell me how much they missed me. I guess I should feel happy that I can come busting in the house anytime I feel like.
That night my mother cooks dinner and I take my usual seat at the table.
“So how’s school going, sweetie?” My mother asks as she passes the corn over.
“It’s going well. I still have straight A’s if that is what you’re asking”
My parents are good people, but my mom stresses about my grades and well-being way too much. Which is why I rarely had a social life in high school. I would sit at home and do homework and book reports on Saturdays instead of going out with my peers. I almost had a boyfriend, but my mother wouldn’t let me go on dates. A part of me resented her for holding me back socially, but I couldn’t dwell on the past. It one of the reasons I allow my friends to take me out whenever they want.
“So do anything fun over the weekend?” my dad asks as he cuts his food. He was always the more understanding one since he is a high school teacher
“Yeah, I went to the masquerade ball with Mya. It was fun” I smile
“Ahh, Mya. She doesn’t focus on her studies like you do”
I frown hard “She is doing just fine”
“Well as long as her social life doesn’t interfere with your work. I love Mya like my own, but you need to focus on school” she takes a sip of water. She is so uptight, she doesn’t even drink wine. I roll my eyes as ignore her.
“Honey, she is doing fine in school. Stop nagging. Mya is a lovely young lady. As I recall, she has a 3.5 GPA. I spoke to her parents the other day and we are all proud of you and her” I love when he is on my side. My mom begins to randomly bicker about boys and parties being distractions. She probably thinks I’m interested in some young college jock with no morals.
I quickly finish eating and go up to my bedroom, just wanting to be alone for the rest of the night.
Lying in bed, I look at the text from Julius. I want to text him back so bad, but I fight the urge to. Heck, I don’t even know what to say about what happened without making myself seem emotional or attached.
I get plenty of rest over the long weekend despite my mom waking me up early on Saturday to go to yard sales. I thought she gave that hobby up, but I guess I was wrong. Or at least I wish she did. It has been the downfall of our other daughter relationship since I was younger. I hated going to yard sales because she’s made it the perfect time to lecture me about being smart. She referred to it as mother-daughter time. I thought of it as cruel torture. I still have emotional scars.
By Sunday morning, I am more than ready to get back to the hustle and bustle of school life. That afternoon, I finish washing my clothes and pack them back in my duffle bags.
In the driveway, I hug my mom and dad but hug him tighter. As I leave, they are standing in the street waving. I swear it looks like my mom is crying. She is so overdramatic. I’ll be back in 2 weeks for Thanksgiving break.
I feel brand new heading back to school. I’m well rested and ready to get back to the issue at hand. Apologizing to Todd for not going on our date and dealing with Julius.
Maybe, I should have stayed home an extra day.
By the time I get back it’s dark and the campus is lifeless. I pull in the parking lot and head into the building.
When I get into my room I take a shower and throw on some grey tights and an oversized sweater that looked like it could double as a dress that I got from a football player name Abe last year.
He had a major crush on me after I tutored him. Unfortunately, he transferred to another school. I blow dry my hair and pull it into a high ponytail. I don’t bother with my contacts. I slide my glasses on and settle for looking a little nerdy. Not sure why I’m getting dressed, I pull on a pair of boots. I walk over to my window and look down. I scan over the campus and see no one.
My eyes scan over the east side of campus and I can see the English building in the distance. I squint and notice that there is only one light on in the whole building. Its Professor Ingram’s class light. Why is he working so late? Well, I’ve been M.I.A for the weekend so he is probably flooded with work to grade. I make a quick decision to go down and help him, but I also intend on telling him the truth.
Snatching the jacket from the closet, I fold it in my bag. If this doesn’t work, I’m burning it. I wrap my scarf around my neck but don’t bother with my coat because it’s not as windy. I walk to the building because I know my car has almost no gas, I don’t ponder on what I’m about to do. I just go into the building. I stand in the doorway of his class, but he is looking down. I tap on the door and his head flies up.
“Krystal. What are you doing here? Where have you been all weekend?”
I walk in “Um I went home for the weekend. I just got back a while ago. I saw your light from my dorm window”
I lean my butt on one of the tables near his desk and set my bag down.
I ball my hands up in the rather long sweater sleeves and wait for him to talk. He gets us and puts his hands in his pocket.
“Did you leave because of me?”
Yes “No. I really just needed to relax and take a break from the school environment”
“And how did that go?”
“Horrible, my mother’s nagging made me want to leave a day early. I was more there to see my dad, so yea” I shrug.
“Hmm” He runs his chin. Professor Ingram looks me up and down. I feel naked in front of him. I cross my arms across my chest as a personal shield. He gets up and goes to close his door and let the small blinds down.
My heart jumps a little. “What are you doing?” I frown. This is a fine time for him to go crazy.
“I want to talk to you without interruptions. If the janitor sees the light on, he’ll come in.”
“Oh. Okay” Weird.
He turns the light off and I blink a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust. The only thing lighting the class is the street light outside. He pulls me out of the view of the door. “Krystal, I’m sorry for what happened the other night. I was a total ass for asking you to come over then bringing up another woman”
I hear the janitor walk by the door, but Julius was right. He doesn’t come in. My heart is beating a little faster. Maybe I should just spit it out and leave.
“Professor Ingram I...”
“Please Krystal, call me Julius”
“Who’s interrupting who, now” I raise an eyebrow and he chuckles “You’re right. I’m sorry”
I take a deep breath, a little uncomfortable calling him by his first name after that night “Why should I call you by your first name? You texted me and told me that you wanted to keep this on a professional level. Well, I’m keeping it professional, Professor Ingram”
He takes a step towards me and I take a step back bumping into another table. When he takes another step to close the space between us I lay my hand on his chest, stopping him.
He frowns “Please don’t be mad at me. I was only thinking of your feelings”
“I wish people would stop thinking for me. I have my own mind and I know what I want, more importantly, who I want.” It rolls off my tongue without me even thinking.
“And who do you want?” He whispers
I don’t know why I get so nervous in that moment but I catch a visible chill and my breath hitches.
“Krystal, why do you get so nervous around me?” Julius places his hands on my hips.
“I...I don’t know. I just do. You’re my Professor.” I rub my forehead in frustration
He frowns. “And if I weren’t your professor would you still be nervous?”
I nod quickly “Yes” I laugh and look down. He smiles and runs his hands up the sweater and touches the bare skin on my stomach.
“I’ve been thinking about you all weekend. I feel like an idiot for not kissing you. When you didn’t show up in class Wednesday, I felt like a jerk and could barely teach”
“You really shouldn’t let this affect your teaching skills. I mean...whatever this is” I shake my head at the nonsense I just spoke. Julius chuckles and gets closer. I place my hands on his shoulders to keep him at a distance so I can tell him.
I start to shake a little. “Please...”
“Shh.” He grips my waist and lifts me onto the table.
Gasping lightly in surprise, I bite down on my lip, but this time it isn’t because I’m nervous. Oh God, no one has ever done that before, but then again Julius is probably way more experienced than I am. So why does he want me?
“Why me?” I mumble.
“Because you are wise beyond your years. Krystal, you are intelligent and beautiful. It’s just something about you that makes me want you. I want to show you that there is no reason to be nervous around me. I want to touch you like no other guy has, kiss you like no other guy has.” He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. My breathing becomes audible as I exhale through my mouth. I have never been so turned on than I am now. No, I wasn’t a virgin, but no college guy would ever say those things to me. He puts his hand on the side of my face and leans in. Then I remember the jacket.
“Julius wait” I hold my hand up
He groans and his forehead touches mine. “Are you torturing me?”
I laugh softly “No, I want you to kiss me, but I have to get this secret off my shoulders before it drives me crazy.” I slide off the table but he doesn’t move so my body is pressed against his.
“Close your eyes”
His eyebrow raises.
“Please, just do it”
He closes his eyes and I walk over to my bag and pull the jacket out. I walk back over to him. I stand in front of him and take a deep breath. “Okay. You can open your eyes” I whisper.
He opens them and blinks. When he looks down at me and sees the jacket in my hands, he steps back. Oh God, this is not about to go well.
I nod. “Yes.”
I hand the jacket to him. He takes it and looks at it for a moment.
“That’s why you ran” He looks up at me.
I nod again. “Correct”
“Why didn’t I put two and two together? I’m so stupid”
“Also correct” I whisper so he doesn’t hear. He walks around for a moment and I feel like this was a bad idea.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was planning to when I came to your apartment, but I couldn’t. You talked as if Audrey was so great. I figured if I told you then you’d be disappointed that I’m not what you expected” I pick at my sweater. I feel small.
I contemplate leaving, but I don’t. I look up and Julius is staring at me. His face looks hard and mean. He lays the jacket down and his face makes me feel bad.
“Julius, I’m really sorry. I know I may not be what you expect”, I start pacing in a small circle, “I really hope this doesn’t ruin whatever we have. I mean if you want it to be strictly professional then that’s fine with me” I’m babbling so much that I don’t notice him walking towards me fast.
He catches the sides of my face and kisses me hard.
I pull back to say something else, “Julius-”
“Please, shut up and kiss me, Krystal” He puts his lips on mine and the whole speech in my head disappears.
My emotions fly all over and head spins. He bites my lip and I moan. His lips are a perfect fit with mine and it makes me wish I never stopped kissing him that night. I wish that I wouldn’t have run. He lifts me back on the table and steps in between my legs to get closer. Chill bumps rise all over my body.
All of a sudden, he picks me up. I moan as walks over to his chair without even breaking the kiss. He sits down and I’m straddling him. I run my fingers through his hair and he slides his hands under the sweater. I feel his cool hands on the sides of my breasts and his thumb brushes over my bra making my nipples harden. His kiss softens. My lips are slightly sore, but I don’t mind. I feel a deep yearning from between my legs as his tongue caresses mine.
I feel my sweater being lifted then we both freeze and turn towards the door. We look at the doorknob jiggle and my heart stops. Oh, shoot, the janitor. We look at the door in horror thinking we are about to be caught but the janitor gives up and walks off.
“Thank God I locked the door” He sighs.
We both laugh quietly and I lift off of his lap only to have him pull me back down.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He kisses my neck.
“We almost got caught. It’s sort of a mood killer”
He pauses “Yeah....you’re right”
I get up and straighten my sweater. I don’t know what to say about what just happened, but I want more. I look up and he is studying me. I chant to myself not to get nervous. I basically just made out with my English professor. It’s a little too late to be nervous. I walk up to him and lift up on my tiptoes. I give him a soft kiss “I should get going”
He pulls me close “I don’t want you to go” He leans in and runs the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip. My knees go weak and he tightens his grip, “Whoa, I gotcha”
I blush hard. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you”
“Good. Then you can never get bored with me.” He smiles
“You know this going to have to be a secret, right. I don’t’ want you to lose your job because of me” I mumble.
“It takes two. If I lose my job from this then it’ll be half my fault but yes I know this is going to be a secret.” He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug.
“Sooooo, Am I what you expected Audrey to be like?
Julius chuckles “No, you’re much better. If I had kissed you back at my apartment then I would have known instantly.”
He looks down at me “You know this thing with Todd is over right? That night I wanted to go up those stairs and kill him for whatever he did for making you run down. If I had known it was that Todd guy I probably would have punched him the moment he stepped into that door”
“Absolutely.” He is serious. I guess I should be happy about that.
He walks me outside and looks around “Where is your car?”
“Oh, back at the dorms. I walked over here”
He frowns “It’s not safe to walk around here late at night”
“Well at the time it wasn’t that late”
“I’ll drive you back. Get in, I’ll go get my things” He orders.
I get into the passenger seat and watch him run back into the building. His class light turns on then a few seconds later, back off. He comes out with his briefcase and keys. The ride only lasts a few minutes, but I wish it were longer. Julius pulls up to the dorm building and puts the car in park. He leans over and kisses me deeply, almost like he doesn’t want me to go just as much as I don’t want to.
When he pulls back he smirks “You should go inside. It’s late and you have class tomorrow.”
“Yeah. I don’t want to be late, my professor is a mean guy” I laugh and open the door. I lean over and give him a quick kiss before I get out. He watches me as I go into the building. He doesn’t pull off till the door closes all the way.
When I get into my room and I sit on the edge of the bed and start pulling off my clothes. In bed, the scene plays over and over in my mind like a TV show expect I can fast forward to the parts when he kisses me. What have I gotten myself into?