After we leave Julius’ apartment, the cold wind slaps me hard. I hurry and put my coat on and Jacob does the same. When I am about to walk to the passenger side of Jacob’s truck he grabs my hand.
“Come here, half-pint” I stand in front of him and I rest against the driver side door.
“Are you always going to call me that?” I say as my eyes are still a little teary. He wipes my tear and I can’t help but hug him. His body is warm and comforting.
“Yes, it fits you, but I just want to say that I’m glad I brought you to dinner. Even though it was a total disaster, I still had a good time with you.” He says as I pull back from the hug
I giggle as the wind blows my hair. Jacob brushes my hair back “You are so damn beautiful”
I blush hard and look down smiling. When I look up Jacob is looking down at me. I take in his brown hair and eyes. They are soft yet manly at the same time. He reaches up and caresses the side of my face. I know we agreed to be just friends, but I can’t fight this moment. I know he is thinking the same thing and there is no reason to deny it. He leans in and his lips land on my as soft as a feather. His hand trails behind my neck and pulls me in more.
I feel my fingers go cold so I slide them inside his open jacket and place them on his sides. I smile against his mouth “So much for being friends”
He chuckles “Definitely........not”
I pull back “Huh”
“You’re still into him, but I know you like me and I like you back” His hand stays on my neck as he talks
“Yeah, you’re right. Ugh, why do you have to be so dang charming?” I say as we both laugh.
“I was born with it” He smiles confidently.
I lay my head on his chest “This is so confusing”
“I know right and plus, I don’t even stay in town. So this wouldn’t work half-pint, but if I did, you’d be mine” He pulls me close.
“Definitely” I squeeze him hard. “We should get going, it’s freezing out here”
On the ride back we hum songs on the radio. I smile when his hand finds mines and he locks fingers with me. Even though I know we can’t be together, Jacob is going to be a great friend for me.
When we pull up to my dorm “Well, we are here” he mumbles. I can tell he is a little disappointed and I can’t deny that I am too. I slide over to him and he wraps his arms around me as by Tegan and Sara start playing on the radio. He kisses my forehead twice “We going to be best friends, half-pint. I don’t care what Julius thinks about it.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way”
“Umm before we make this friendship official, can I kiss you again?”
I giggle and look up at him “Yes”
I slide my fingers through his hair and pull him to me. Deep down I will miss these lips a little, but I’m happy we will be friends. The kiss deepens and he bites my lip. My grip on his hair tightens. As his tongue caresses mine I feel like I’m losing control and I pull back “Whoa, Jacob. You make a girl never want to get out the truck” I take a deep breath and Jacob laughs “I was giving you something to miss. Mission accomplished”
I give him a quick kiss and open the truck door “Bye Friend”
“Bye Friend. Text we whenever half-pint”
“I will” I hop out of the truck and head towards the building. I laugh when I hear Jacob whistle at me.
“GO HOME JACOB!” I yell as he pulls off into the night.
I go into the building with the disaster dinner far from my mind. At the end of the day, I had a great time with Jacob but I know it’s time to talk to Julius because, in reality, I do miss him a lot. The more I don’t talk to him, the more I think about him and it’s torture. I just don’t know how to approach the situation. He chose his alcoholic ex over me when he already knows what type of person she is.
I get to my room and undress. In the shower, I crave Julius for some reason. My attraction to him comes so easy that it’s impossible to fight even though Jacob showed me that if it doesn’t work out then there are good guys out there for me other than Julius. I’ve gotten a taste of what I could have if I and Julius fail. It was a small taste, but one I needed.
The rest of the break is rather uneventful and boring. I get most of the end of the semester homework done. Which makes me happy because all I will have to do at the end of the semester is take my final and say bye. Well with the exception of Professor Ingram. Usually, I wouldn’t take the same teacher twice 2 semesters straight, but I have Julius again next semester for World Literature. I already took the first half of the class last year, but it’s a requirement to take the second half.
Sunday night when people start returning to campus I decided to plan a dinner for my friends. We go to our regular Italian spot to talk about break. This time I invite Anna. She fits in perfectly with the group despite her age. She really does remind me of myself. Shy but outgoing when it all boils down to it. While everyone is talking I update Mya of everything that went down at the dinner since she already asked about my neck twice.
“Oh shit, I wish I were there to see you slap that bitch” Mya harshly whispers.
I giggle “It was crazy. I really can’t believe he chose her over me.”
“Yeah well, sometimes people have to see other in their true colors to realize that they don’t need them anymore. That’s probably what he needed to see”
I think about what she says for the rest of the night. He probably did need that closure. Sometimes people love the past more than the present till they look around and see how great everything around then is in real-time. I instantly feel bad for punishing him for his feelings. I should have been more understanding but instead, I was only worried about my own feelings when I knew deep down I needed.
My thoughts are interrupted by Mya pulling me up to dance to Taylor Swift. Mya, Anna and I dance around the boys distracting them from playing pool. I have really missed my friends over break and it’s nice to have things back to normal. Well, except Robert who has been a little distant tonight. When no one is paying attention, I pull him to the side and ask him what’s wrong.
“Nothing, I don’t really want to talk about it” He mumbles looking around.
“Come on. You know you can tell me” I look at him genuinely wanting to know what’s wrong
He looks at me for a second “I know”
I look at him confused, but deep down I know what he is talking about.
“I know about you and that guy. I came back early and was coming to see you, but instead, I saw you in a truck making out with some older guy. The same guy I saw you leaving with at the party” He frowns
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Robert, we are just friends. I’m not involved with him in any way, but you are going to have to be comfortable with whoever I’m involved with in the future.
“I know, but I just miss us sometimes” He smiles a little
“Of course, but it’s better to have me as a friend than nothing at all” I rub his arm
“I guess you’re right” He breathes hard “I’m sorry for being all weird tonight.”
I hug him and I can tell he had been holding that in since Thanksgiving. I really did love Robert and he will always have a special place in my heart. Being a couple just wasn’t in the stars for us.