Chapter - 11
"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance." - RICHARD VON WEIZSAECKER
Alicia folded the letter she was reading and placed it under her pillow. It had only three words, written in slanting letters. “I forgive you.” It wasn’t much, but it meant a lot to her. She’d read it at least once every day.
She was thankful to Rebecca for making her see things in a different way. “You should apologize to them,” Rebecca had said during one of their heartfelt talks.
Alicia contemplated her words for weeks before she wrote her first apology to Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman. Rebecca had said that her regret should come from her heart else there was no point in her seeking redemption. She’d been writing the letter for about five days before she could post. While she got no reply from them, she started writing letters to the others as well.
Then, one day, a letter from Axel surprised her. It was among the bunch of letters that were returned to her because her mother didn’t receive them. She sobbed in relief for the first time in her life. It was miraculous, how much difference those three simple words could bring her.
She stared at the blank paper before her, wondering how to pour the words she meant to tell Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman. She’d written them twice already. She did not mention about their grandchild in any of those letters and Rebecca had said that they deserved to know.
“They deserve to know about their grandchild. You could be changing their lives with this simple truth for all we know,” Rebecca had said.
To Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman,
I know do not deserve your forgiveness.
I’ve lived my entire life, caring only for the money and the power that came with it. I’ve never cared about anything or anyone, until now. There is something you should know. I should’ve told you this sooner, but I had no guts to mention that one life I was supposed to love and cherish.
I don’t think I even deserve to mention him as my child. Yes, I did not abort your grandchild. I delivered him and put him up for adoption.
At times I wish that I had a good mother like you, who’d tell her child about the right and wrong. I was foolish. I left the man, who loved me and looked past my mistakes. It is now I realize that I too had loved him, in my own way.
I never knew why it broke me when I learned of your son’s sudden demise. I’d locked myself for two days, though I did not cry at that time. I felt like I lost something, but I had no one to tell me why I felt that way.
I really hope that you’d find your grandchild. I cannot return Francis to you, but I am returning your son’s future.
She signed the letter, along with the details of her son’s date of birth, the name of the hospital and the doctor who’d attended her. She wouldn’t be surprised if they never read the letter. However, she was determined.