Chapter 15: Heartache & Honeymoon
Cuddling with Wyatt is easily the best thing in the world. The heat of his body against mine is better than Christmas… my birthday… and certainly anything I’ve ever experienced off of this mountain. One of my hands is gripping his chest as if preparing for the inevitable moment he tries to get up and leave me behind – but so far he’s content with keeping me close.
Even though I’ve done something as crazy as suck him off, I still can’t get enough. I am absolutely vibrating next to him as he stares at me and I resist all kinds of urges to grab him by the beard and kiss him as hard as I can.
“God… Calix… stop doing this…” he mutters finally, thumbing my lips apart with a dazed kind of look. Maybe he’s remembering how good they felt on his cock, and I encourage his touch by kissing his thumb and shooting him a perplexed look.
Wyatt gives a frustrated groan I don’t quite understand but he’s letting me pull his thumb into my mouth and lick at it.
"This,” he growls, hooking his thumb into my cheek and pulling. “I don’t think you realize what you’re doing. This isn’t a honeymoon; you’re missing – you’re hurt.” Wyatt is serious as he emphasizes these points. “If you keep this up I don’t know how I’ll be able to let you go.”
His last sentence has the opposite effect on me. This is exactly what I want and my fingers clutch into his body eagerly. “I don’t want to go!” I say desperately, finally voicing the very thing that has been bothering me all day. “I don’t – Wyatt let me stay here for a little bit longer!”
"Stop,” he says again – this time with that firm edge that makes it so arguing is impossible. I shut my mouth bitterly but if he thinks I’m going to give in just like that, he’s deluded. “Are you even listening? It’s not up to you, or me. It’s not even a choice. You need to go back as soon as possible.” I shake my head stubbornly at his words, something that makes Wyatt roll his blue eyes around. “Your leg isn’t going to fix itself. Your family is worried. You have to tell them about your brother.”
The non-existent filter from my brain to my mouth dooms me again. “Come with me,” I beg. “I’ll say whatever you want me to say about what happened! Just come with me and then when I’m better–”
“You’re nuts,” Wyatt interrupts with a disbelieving smile. “What about Canuck? I can’t leave him behind, Calix…”
“Bring him too,” I whisper – though I know that sinking feeling in my chest is here to stay. For some reason it feels like I’ve been pushed off standing on top of the world. I don’t want to face the thought of leaving Wyatt –I’ve become unreasonably attached due to circumstance, but I can’t help it.
He reads the disappointment in my face because his breaks with sympathy.
“Hey, it’s hard for me too,” Wyatt says, though I have a hard time believing this. It’s always been one-sided; I’m always the one constantly battling for his attention… I’m always the one starting everything. It’s unfair – incredibly unfair. He’s not listening.
“It’s not hard for you,” I accuse. My eyes sting with tears and I’m sobbing before I know it. “Y-you never wanted me here. You’re getting rid of me!"
“No… hey calm down. Ssh, listen to me for a second.” Wyatt tries to get me to stop but the most I’m able to control is some of the hysterical noises that are coming out of me. The tears are still streaming down my face as he forces my chin up. “Calix. When you got here, it was like somehow, pretty much everything I ever wanted, appeared in front of me. You really think it’s easy for me to let that go? To hold back? I’m losing my fucking mind. Your health… your safety… it’s more important than any single selfish thought put together and it’s still tough to think I’m doing the right thing.”
“Because you’re not!” I snap, burying my face into his chest. “You’re not, Wyatt. I’m fine. You’re taking care of me – I don’t need to go back just yet! Just let me stay until–” I falter, not really sure where I’m going with the thought until it’s too late. The truth is, I never want to go back and that’s just ridiculous. I can hear how crazy I sound but it doesn’t matter… I don’t care about anything else. I’m convinced all I need is Wyatt and I’ll be happy.
“Until when?” Wyatt challenges, his voice a little harsher than it was a second ago – but probably because I’m whining again. “Huh Calix? This is why I need to be the adult. You need to get better."
“And then what?” I cry. “After I’m better – what then? How am I supposed to get back to you?”
“I don’t know!” Wyatt groans. His tone indicates he’s upset. “I haven’t thought that far – I can barely think straight as it is!”
I know that right now is exactly the time to shut up. Wyatt’s nostrils are flaring and if I don’t want to spend the whole day being ignored, I have to let it go for the time being. The important thing is that Wyatt’s not making any attempt to get up. As mad as he is, he lets me hold on as tight as I want and wrap my good leg around his. I let him regain a little bit of sanity before speaking so softly I can barely hear myself.
“Please – Wyatt – at least… let me be with you until then okay? Don’t keep me in here by myself… don’t keep busy all day and leave me.”
It sounds reasonable compared to my earlier statements but Wyatt just pets my head soothingly.
“You need to rest, and I need to work. Simple as that, okay? I’m not doing it to be mean.” I give Wyatt a look to call his bullshit and he continues. “Okay,” he gives, “you’re also distracting.”
“I’ll be quiet!” I promise – although I know this is basically impossible.
He shakes his head then lifts his leg – and mine wrapped around it – to display my shorts. “I’m starting to think some really crazy things Calix, so, it’s best if you stay here – understand?”
“No,” I mutter, defeated. I lose my grip on him and pull back—speaking from a place deep in my heart. “I don’t understand anything. I don’t even know what time it is any more. You say you like me but want to get rid of me… you’re kicking me out of the pack…”
“Wow – stop it,” Wyatt groans. “Stop!” he snaps as I open my mouth to say more. “Don’t use that against me.”
There’s a rush of childish anger that takes over. I kick his leg away from mine a little more dramatically than I’m proud of because as a result, Wyatt lifts off the bed and leaves without another word.
Ugh. Even after I blew him so good?
He wants me gone so bad? Fine. He’ll live out his miserable days on this mountain like a grumpy old bearded troll. He’s never – ever – going to get anything from me, ever again.
I wake up to Wyatt handing me a plate, quickly coming to the realization I must have drifted off after quite some time alone with my malicious, bitter thoughts. I feel a bit guilty looking at him and accepting the food after all the names I called him in my head, but I’m still not ready to talk. My heart is still aching in a really painful kind of way when I think of our fight.
After finishing the venison gratefully, I turn back on my side to fall asleep – or at least, give Wyatt the cold shoulder.
He notices immediately and pulls me over so I’m forced to face him. “What’re you doing?” he asks. His blue eyes are narrowed, full of suspicion.
I squirm out of his grasp and pull the blanket to my chin with a frown. “Sleeping,” I answer, trying to hide the seething bite I want to put behind the word.
“Ignoring me?” he guesses.
“I’m just trying to swallow the heavy dose of reality you keep shoving down my throat,” I spit – damning how quickly I lose at holding back my tone. I don’t know how I’m able to keep up the eye contact – even though I want to shit my pants. It’s sort of like Canuck; they’re both not used to the challenge.
Except Wyatt finally snaps a little and pissing him off isn’t really the best thing. He’s menacing as he pulls me up by the collar of my shirt and digs a knee into the mattress, keeping me suspended with his strength. “Stop with the attitude,” he threatens.
“Let go!” I fight – hitting at his fist until he drops me back to the bed with a flop. “I’m just trying to do what you want me to do.” Albeit, spitefully…
Glaring up at him, I feel like he wants to say a lot of things – but I know just what kind of corner I’ve backed him into – he’ll have no one left to fight but himself. And as much as it hurts, I’ve still got my anger as a clutch. For now it feels good to hold my ground and make him second guess exactly what he wants.
But then, Wyatt simply runs a hand through his beard and then turns to leave me alone.
Canuck visits me after helping himself to some water in a bowl on the ground. The grey wolf trots over to the mattress and gives my face a curious sniff, but I’m so completely zombified that I have trouble getting the willpower to pet him.
He’s just as pushy as Wyatt. After waiting a few moments, he digs his head into my semi-limp, outstretched hand and forces the contact.
It makes me want to cry for some stupid, awful reason I still can’t figure out. So many things are going wrong… and yet Canuck is happily ignorant about all of it. I want to ask him why things have to be so complicated, but before I open my mouth I realize he’s a wolf and won’t understand me anyway.
As if he can sense that I’m sad – or angry – or a combination of both and then some – Canuck draws closer and rests his chin on my arm, staring at me with woeful yellow eyes. Just looking into them eases some of my distressing thoughts. It’s hard to be overwhelmed with so many problems with Canuck. He’s kind of hypnotizing.
After several unblinking moments of staring, Canuck makes to jump up on the bed and I can’t help a small, disbelieving laugh that escapes my lips. “No,” I say as I attempt to push him back down. “You’re not allowed.”
It just makes him try harder, and no matter how easy Wyatt makes it look, I have nowhere near enough physical strength to stop the wolf from doing what he wants. Once he’s up on the mattress, his tail wags happily. He digs at the crocheted blanket before curling up in Wyatt’s spot beside me.
“You’re going to get in trouble,” I mutter, now face-to-face with him on my pillow. There’s not a chance in hell this wolf doesn’t know Wyatt’s bed is off limits – but it’s astounding how he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t look concerned at all with the possibility of being thrown out of the cabin again; he’s simply content being beside me – and my heart swells with a rush of appreciation.
At least someone cares.
When I wake up, Wyatt is pulling Canuck off the bed. I blink groggily, but I can tell he’s livid.
“Just what the fuck, Calix?” Wyatt growls – somehow targeting me for Canuck’s behavior. Although, it’s true I didn’t do very much to stop him... “You’re really starting to piss me off today.”
“What else is new,” I shrug, gritting my teeth down in an attempt to stop some of the other words I want to continue with. A stabbing sensation in my bladder isn’t lost on me but maybe Wyatt will be mad enough to let me try and hobble to the toilet trees on my own…
“I’m not looking for a fight y’know,” he warns, though his voice indicates otherwise. I know he’s close to going into berserk mode. Wyatt’s kind of easy to read that way. His fists are balled at his sides and flashes of his unpredictably violent side remind me not to push him too far. I don’t want my hair pulled. I don’t want to get dragged around…
“Yeah – whatever. I need to go to the bathroom.”
Fuming, Wyatt pulls me up to my feet with a stronger than necessary grip. I manage to keep up with him all the way outside and do my business without speaking or even looking at him. It’s not so hard to ignore him like he’s ignored me – though I would beso much happier if we weren’t fighting.
Either I hate him, or I’m dying to kiss him, and sometimes both of these things at once… there’s no middle ground. And I can’t make any sense of these dual urges.
If only I had a watch. Maybe it would help to measure exactly how long I can keep this up.
I curl up as far away from Wyatt as possible on the tiny bed. It’s hard to imagine it being big enough for two regular people; no one took into account the large frame Wyatt was born with. He’s tossing and turning a little bit but I keep still on the very, very edge – threatening to fall off any second.
In these dark, quiet moments where I’m left with my own thoughts – it’s scary. I don’t want to think about Daxton, or my family, or going home. It’s all so painful. I want to push them away, under the blanket of Wyatt and forget all about life outside this mountain. It’s so much simpler concentrating on what I’ve become used to here.
But my mind is playing evil tricks and no matter how much I want to sleep, this aching, gnawing feeling of unbearable loneliness chews through me and leaves me wide-eyed.
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I can’t take it anymore.
Wyatt is sleeping peacefully beside me and I cannot endure it any longer. I want to hug him – lay against him – something for crying out loud, but I just spent the day swearing up and down I wouldn’t touch him ever again.
But a thought has just struck that Wyatt’s pretty much unconscious; I’m sure it doesn’t count anyway.
So I inch my way towards the middle of the bed and press my back against him, feeling relief immediately.
Maybe it’s my imagination, but I feel safer; a hundred times better in every way. I close my eyes again but Wyatt startles me by turning over, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and squishing me underneath him in a teddy bear embrace. He’s still fast asleep though – snoring steadily – blissfully unaware of all my problems.
It’s not exactly uncomfortable though. It’s so perfect. And the warmth of his body brings back that top-of-the-world feeling from earlier – making me wish and wonder all the ways I can stay with him forever.
My heart is bursting just thinking about it. I feel revitalized. Happy.
The reminder that this feeling is at stake if I lose Wyatt is unacceptable. As he sleeps contentedly on my back, my overactive imagination convinces me that he just needs reminding as well. He just needs to be put in his place.
I can get Wyatt hard if I just back up a little bit, so I stir my hips slightly until I’m at the perfect angle. When I hit his crotch, the outline of his heavy dick is unmistakeable. My heart starts hammering but I try my best to keep my breathing steady. Wyatt’s snoring behind me seems to be getting softer as I twist my body into a rhythm he’s forced me into before…
Revenge is all I can think about. Get him hard, leave him hanging.
Stopping just in time, I mock innocence as a hardening bulge picks up where I left off. It’s explosive. To me, it’s less about another dude’s dick rutting up against my ass as it is about Wyatt. He sleepily grinds into me, and it’s absolute torture not to push back. Blood is rushing to a million places as he picks up the intensity of his thrusts. It’s almost impossible to stop him, but I try anyway.
“Wy-att!” I say as sharply as I can. “Stop!”
Pulling the hand that is gripping my hip, I attempt to pry Wyatt off finger by finger – but he isn’t really backing down. I’m not sure if he’s awake yet or not but I keep up the struggle.
"Stop!" I whine again. “Wake up! Wyatt!”
He finally comes to his senses, but only after he presses a beard into my neck.
“Sorry—Calix—” Wyatt mumbles with distant kind of grogginess. “Shit… I’m really hot for you right now sweetheart…”
My body freezes uselessly at this dooming word which definitely wasn’t part of the plan. Wyatt was supposed to be suffering from the worst blue balls of his life, and instead he’s still rubbing his cock on me. I’m swooning so much I become weak – I can’t move a single muscle and lay frozen as he thrusts and grinds against my ass.
It takes more than a few seconds before a fraction of my senses come back to me.
“I - I don’t… want to…” I manage, finding some fight as I roll away from him. “Go to sleep.”
“Come back,” Wyatt says – and his tone is absolute heaven to my ears. It’s the most desperate sounding whine I’ve ever heard come out of him. He grabs my hip and rolls me back into position before digging his fingers in and locking me in place. Wyatt kisses my neck softly – breathing heavily against my skin as he tries to relieve his condition with some friction between us.
Fighting becomes harder and harder. The heat of his breath – the gentle, wet kisses he spreads along the back of my neck – everything he’s doing is sending shivers down my body.
Nothing is going according to plan but I uselessly try to stay on track anyway.
"Get – off!"
“You still mad at me?” Wyatt asks, ignoring any attempt of mine to stop him. He thrusts harder and pulls my earlobe between his teeth, forcing a whine from me.
"Nnnn! – Yeah… so… st-stop it...”
I need to make my voice stronger – but that thought is quickly disappearing as Wyatt’s hand trails to the front of my shorts and palms a very hard dick that has been zapping me of my fight. This is the first time Wyatt’s been this bold and it isn’t lost on me. I’m seriously enjoying how much he’s losing himself.
“Don’t be mad – I’m sorry,” he mutters into my suddenly hyper-sensitive ear – causing mini bursts of pleasure to detonate down my body. I can’t help the stubborn thought that it’s totally convenient for Wyatt to say this now. I open my mouth to call him out but instead all I manage is a sharp gasp as his hand grips my inner thigh and slides up the wrong way through the legs of my shorts.
Even though it’s not my intention, my body relaxes on its own and I squirm a little bit to give Wyatt better access to the front. Having him want me so badly is impossible to resist, and that’s okay – he’ll have to live this down by himself later.
The submission makes him groan in my ear; he kisses frantic and excited and I can barely deal with what’s happening. It’s too good to be true.
“Ah – fuck,” he growls, grinding slow and unbuttoning my shorts. “You feel so good Calix…”
“Yeah – it’s hard – to stop – myself…” Wyatt admits between open mouthed sucking. His tongue is gently flicking my skin with each kiss and he makes good progress pulling my shorts down – careful with my bad leg.
Wyatt leaves me hanging briefly to work his own pants off, but continues his attack on my neck as he does so and I can’t complain. Actually, I can barely keep up with what’s happening and how good it feels. I didn’t expect him to break this easily…
Strong fingers hook me under the thigh and pull me up against his suddenly uncovered cock, making me melt. The heat rush is too intense – a sudden deliriousness takes over. Wyatt digs his teeth into my shoulder blade as he bucks against me, forcing me into the mattress a little.
I thumb at my underwear and tug it down so I can feel the heat of his dick against me properly – but this does a number on Wyatt.
He hisses a dark, appreciative, ‘yes’ in my ear before grabbing a full fist of my ass in his hand. It kind of hurts but – I’ll be honest –I love it; I don’t care how hard Wyatt handles me.
“Know what I wanna do to this cute little ass?” he breathes – all danger – sending even more thrills through my body. I choke in surprise as he adjusts and teases the inside of my thighs with the head of his cock. The tip is amazing; slippery and hard. When I start trembling, Wyatt pulls me impossibly closer and slides the rest of his length between the soft flesh of my legs. “Help me, Calix. I can’t get enough of you.”
“Then keep me!” I say firmly, taking over and stroking our cocks with the soft hands I know he enjoys. Sure enough, he lets out an animal-like noise of pleasure and it encourages me to continue – to pay extra special attention to his cock. ”Keep me. Wyatt, I wanna be your—your sweetheart…”
His teeth clench and press tight against the crook of my neck; hand roaming my body freely.
“Fuck, I want that – Calix – I do…”
I hope he means it. The words are so powerful they make me moan into the pillow. I pull his member against mine fervently – feel it throb beneath my fingers and make a sticky mess between us. Every pulse makes me dizzy, but that’s just because the pleasure is so intense; it’s building and building without stopping.
“I’ll do whatever – you want,” I offer, biting back a moan. “I’ll do – anything… Wyatt…” These words are emphasized with a squeeze to his cock. I run my thumb back and forth just under his tip and enjoy the way his body rocks against me.
"Nngh –are you gonna— eat my cock – again?” he prompts, stirring against me. His breathing is louder than normal so close to my ear; heavy and irregular.
“Y-yes,” I agree, not really bothering to think about it. Wyatt could use me as a sex sleeve if he wanted, but I know it’s so much more than that…
“Gonna – stop throwing – tantrums?” he growls.
The heat of his cock against mine is so incredible; I squeeze and stroke while nodding as hard as I can and forcing his nose to slide up and down my neck.
“Uh-huh – no more,” I manage, gasping like a fish out of water.
A noise escapes Wyatt and it’s electrifying. I brace myself for climax and focus on the rapidly twitching members between my hands – trying to jerk us both to a finish. It’s feeling so good – better than anything I could ever achieve on my own. I need him. I love him. My lips open and close over his name and I’m not sure if there’s any voice behind it, but Wyatt answers me anyway.
“Yeah? Gonna make me cum – sweetheart?” he urges with a soft breath. ”God… feels so good – I’m almost – there…”
Tingling all over, I adjust slightly – really backing up against the base of his shaft so I can get my hands on as much of him as possible. My head is swimming; I can’t get enough. I want to cum all over the alpha dick sliding between my legs.
I give a low whine as I hit the point of no return. I’m going to release any second – the tightness in my balls is making my member pulse; foreign, perverted thoughts start to take over. I don’t know where or when I lost myself, but it happened on this mountain...
And there are no regrets as Wyatt grips me so tight I’m sure he’ll leave bruises. It’s just complete satisfaction in every way I can imagine.
“I-I’m cumming –!”
Wyatt’s teeth scrape against my skin with every pull of his cock and he gives an urgent groan in response.
"Unngh – Calix…”
It’s never felt so good to hear my name. Wyatt says it in a way that convinces me he wants me to the very core of his being. I can’t explain it… it’s just something I can feel.
A combination of the way he’s squeezing my flesh, fucking between my thighs and moaning in my ear, breaks me. I go someplace I’ve never been before. A mind-blanking world where the only thought is pleasure. Little sparks flash under my eyelids as I endure a crazy, powerful orgasm that has me saying weird things like “yes” over and over.
His cum is even hotter than mine, and it collects in a wet pool on the mattress. With my ears ringing, and endorphins rushing through me, I can barely get myself together. And I don’t want to. I’ve never felt more exhausted, more content or at peace, ever before.
Wyatt snuggles his beard into me and breathes heavily until the gentlest snore somehow coaxes me into my own slumber.