Chapter 1-That's why I do it
I lay down down on the miniature merry-go-round in the park, as I usually do when it gets dark. I spin in circles looking into the stars and tears roll down my cheeks. I slam my hand against the metal of the frame.
“Fuck,” I yelp. I put my cold hand against my forehead. “Why are you such a dickhead?” I hit my hand against the metal again. “What the fuck is wrong with me‽” I yell.
I sniff in the air, the faint smell of tobacco wafts up my nose. I sit up straight and try to look around, but my vision goes blurry from spinning. I breathe in the cigarette stench again. I close my eyes and breathe through my mouth to focus my conscious. I open my eyes to see a boy on a swing holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger. He holds it out away from his face. A puff of smoke floats above him. Turning his head to the side, he brings the cigarette to his mouth, allowing me to see his blump lips. He breathes it in once again. I can feel myself transfixed on his lips.
I stand up and begin to walk towards this fascinating man. He turns his head back to look at the forest in front of him. I quickly hide behind a tree. I look at him as he smiles.
“You know,” he says still looking out the the forest. “Most people ask if they want one.” Turns to face me holding his cigarette out in my direction.
“Oh,” I says sheepishly, my cheeks now flushed. “No thank you.”
“Really?” He says, the end of the stick glowing orange as the wind blows. “You sounded stressed, are you sure?” I feel my heart stop in embarrassment. I haven’t even begun to think he may have heard me talking to myself.
“Here,” he said putting the cigarette in my hand. “Take a breath.” I looked at it for a second before shaking my head and handing it back to him.
“I’m sorry,” I say to him. “I can’t. Those things are death sticks.” He laughs through his nose at my comment, a smile appearing on his face.
“How can you do that to yourself? They’ll end up killing you.” He smiles to himself again.
“That’s why I do it,” he says looking into the starry night sky. I open my mouth in shock. “You called someone a ‘dickhead’. Who were you talking about?”
Why is he prying into my private life?
I only started talking to him 2 minutes ago, yet somehow I feel I can trust him.
I let out a huge sigh before saying, “my boyfriend, or rather, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me.” He looks at me with a sense of honest concern in his eyes.
“Why?” He asks. I flip through my memories to see if I can find out why. It isn’t popping up.
“Because he’s a dickhead,” I say sitting down onto the swing next to him. I can see him looking straight into my eyes. I looks from side to side hoping he’ll stop staring at me. He bring his cigarette to his mouth once again he breathes it in. I watch him as I really want to rip it out of his hand and throw it on the floor. I can’t however, his intense gaze has me frozen to the spot. I manage to look away from him into the forest but I can feel his eyes as they look me and up and down.
“He’s got to be a dickhead to break up with you,” he says smirking. I don’t know whether to say thank you, or scream at him for being a creep. So instead I just say nothing. He goes to put the stick to his mouth once again, but I grab it out of his hand and go to throw it on the floor. Somehow I can’t bring myself to do it, so my brain decides it’s a good idea to have me stuck the rest of it in myself. I feel the tar as it slide down my throat. I suddenly start coughing and wheezing. He hits my back as he laughs to himself.
“I thought you didn’t want any,” he says smirking at me. I roll my eyes at him.
“I didn’t want you to have any either,” I say turning my back to him. “You’re going to die if you continue like that.” He puts his hand behind his back.
“I know,” he says. You turn to him your eyes wide open. “I already told you that’s why I do it.”
Is this guy crazy?
He’s wasting his good looks and seemingly nice personality.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“Oh,” I say awkwardly shuffling a little in my chair. He pushes back and forth on the floor making him rock slightly.
“Come on,” he says slightly more happily. “Lets swi-.” The end of his sentence is cut off by my phone ringing loudly. I read the caller ID.
“Who is that?” He asks.
“She’s my friend,” I explain. “I’ve lived with her my whole life mind you.” I smile declining her call and putting my phone back into my pocket.
“I see,” he smiles now continuing to rock back and forth. “Lets swing.” He grabs my hand and pulls me backwards with him. It doesn’t really work however, it just causes me to twist slightly as I swing forwards.
“I have a better idea.” He says getting up from the swing. He walks behind me and puts his hand around my waist. He pulls me back and let’s me go. I feel free as the wind courses through my hair.
Suddenly a light for a torch flickers around the park. The boy stops my swing and grabs his coat and packet of cigarettes from the floor. He put his hand in mine and begins to run away with me. I quickly follow after the man as someone with a torch follows behind us, telling us to “stop running,” and “come back here.” It felt amazing.
We run through loads of different streets I’ve never seen before eventually landing outside of a tall building. We climb the metal stairs which lay on the outside of the building. We climb 4 stories before entering the door. The boy brings me through the halls until we land, to what I can assume, is his apartment. His apartment funnily enough is number 69. It makes me giggle as he opened the door. He pulled me inside and throws his keys on the desk before walking back towards me and closing the door behind me. He pins me to the wall by placing his hand either side of me. He leans in close then puts his hands on my face.
“What’s your name?” He asks. I looks at his face to see if he was kidding.
“It’s Kim Ai-yeon,” I stutter. He leans closer in so that our noses are touching.
“Well you’re very beautiful, Kim Ai-yeon,” he says before placing his lips on mine. He puts his arms around my waist, making me instinctively out my arms around his neck, like I would do with my ex-boyfriend.
You’re in an intimate moment why are you thinking of him?
I tried his gasp for air, but because of how tightly we are together, he just creeps his tongue into my mouth.
Oh my god. I’m such a slut.
He swirls his tongue around the inside of my mouth for a few seconds before pulling away to breathe.
“I’m Jeon Jungkook,” he smirks as I put my feet flat against the ground again. I smile at him remaining to watch his adam’s apple as it bobs up and down due to his heavy breathing.
He slides his hands down my legs so they end up underneath my bottom. I look up at him as he licks his lips. I gulp, which he obviously notices causing him to smirk even more.
“Jump,” he says. I look up at him as he looks down at me. “Put your legs around me.” He smiles holding my thighs. I nod before jumping onto him. He holds me tight as our crotches rest against each other. He puts his lips on mine again and begins to kiss me more heavily than before, which I did not originally believe was possible. He walks us through his apartment as he continues to kiss me. I can taste his tobacco in my mouth. It tastes a lot better now then when I breathed it in.
He holds me through his house eventually leading into a bedroom. He puts me down on his bed and leans over me. He kisses my neck causing me to giggle.
This is not how expected this evening to go.
He sucks on my neck causing me to squeal a little. He stops and straddles over me to keep me pinned down. He pulls his white t-shirt over his head and throws it across the room.
Jesus Christ his abs.
I can’t do anything but admire how beautiful his body is. Well that is until I feel him pulling my top up. I immediately push out from underneath him and pull my black crop top down. He looks at me confused.
“What’s wrong?” He asks looking at me concerned. I look down at my hands then move my knees in front of me. I can’t say anything, no words come to mind. We sit in silence for a few moments.
“Ai-yeon?” He asks.
“I’m sorry,” I say burrying my head into my knees. He jerks his head to the side. “I’ve just never done this before.” I can feel his sweet smile as he looks at me. “I’m just worried it’ll turn into a one night thing and I don’t want my first time to be like that.” He giggles and crawls up the bed to land next to me.
“I wasn’t going to go that far,” he said putting his arm around me shoulder to hug me. “I’ve never gone that far myself.” He puts his other arm around me. He seems like a protective shield around my ball of worry. We sit here from a few minutes, both lost in our own thoughts. I feel my eyelids beginning to waver. He most notice as he takes his hand and placing it on my chin to turn my head towards him.
“Goodnight,” he says leaning in to kiss me again but only for a second. He stands up and starts to walk out of his room.
“Wait,” I stop him. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to sleep on the sofa,” he says facing me, whilst still picking up things off of the floor.
“Don’t,” I tell him. “Just sleep next to me please.” I don’t know I’ve grown attached to Jungkook so quickly, but for some reason I feel safe around him. Not like I did with my ex-boyfriend. I let my legs out of my arms and they slide down the bed underneath the covers.
“Okay,” he says putting his t shirt back on. He comes and sits next to me. He kisses me on the forehead before lying down and beginning to doze off. I lay down next to him and start to fall asleep myself.
I really hope this isn’t a dream.