Don’t do it, he warned himself. You will end up hurting her for a few minutes of selfish pleasure.
He wanted so badly to see how soft her lips really were. His hand flexed of its own accord around her head, sinking his fingers into her hair. Needing to fist it and pull her head back exposing her to him, he quickly pulled away from her and turned back to the cooking pasta.
Looking sideways at her, he saw her confusion. He was sending too many mixed signals to her he realized. Best to not touch her again. His discipline would help him through this temptation – he hoped.
Despite the fact that she was his sister, she was alluring to him. That tight, thick body. She looked so soft and welcoming.
But more importantly, he knew her history. Sex for her was not something she was going to enter into lightly even if she was attracted to him, which he doubted. He didn’t think she would ever want to have sex again in her life given her experience.
Emma needed a big brother not a hook-up. He needed to remember that. Plus he would incur the wrath of their parents if he did anything inappropriate with her.
“Chris,” her voice was hesitant. “You don’t have to spend time with me if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t mind lying on the beach with my Kindle or maybe asking Jackson to chauffeur me around.”
He turned to look at her, irritated. “Emma I said I want to spend time with you. The way you keep deflecting me makes me think that you don’t want to spend time with me.”
“No, I do,” she exclaimed hastily. “I do want to spend time with you. I guess I – am afraid you won’t – enjoy – spending time with me.”
“We won’t know until we try it,” he growled at her. “Jackson doesn’t have time to take you out anyway. He has training and his girlfriend to occupy him.”
Why the hell had he told her that? Cindy wasn’t Jackson’s girlfriend. Training didn’t take up all his time. But when Emma had mentioned Jackson, it had annoyed the fire out of him. Jackson had told him on the ride back to his car, that he was interested in seeing Emma. Chris had shut that down quick, sneering at him to leave his sister alone. The thought of Jackson being with Emma made his stomach roil. His best friend wasn’t good enough for his sister. Only he was good enough …
“Shit,” he whispered to himself.
“What’s wrong?” she asked hearing him curse.
He shook his head and turned away from her again. Seeing her only tested his control so he had to physically distance himself from her despite everything in him wanting to get closer to her. Being her brother was becoming more difficult to do with each passing second.
“The pasta is almost done,” he told her, moving away from her to go get the colander. “Why don’t you set the table? Plates are up there, glasses next to them and silverware in that drawer.”
She quickly scampered off to do what he asked her to do. He had noticed she was very good at taking commands. She was definitely a submissive. Not only was she his physical type but also his existential type. Feeling a pull in his chest he didn’t understand, Chris put such thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on making supper.
He browned some crushed garlic in olive oil and then added some Italian spices. Last he chopped up two tomatoes and put them into the pan. It was a light and healthy pasta dish. She couldn’t have any objections to it.
“That’s a lot,” she commented as he served her. “I can’t eat –”
“Eat what you can,” he said tersely and sat down to his own supper.
After a few minutes went by, he finally looked up at her and asked, “How is it?”
“It’s really good,” she gushed. “I’ve never had a sauce like this. It’s not heavy or too rich. Thanks so much for making supper.”
He returned her smile. “I’m glad you like it,” he said happy that he made something she could enjoy. “It’s real easy to make. So what is your schedule this week?”
“I am going to Stanford tomorrow morning for a tour and to meet a panel of professors,” she told him in between bites. “The day after that I have UCLA and Berkeley scheduled. Cal Tech will be on Friday.”
“So we have half a day tomorrow and all day Thursday,” he concluded.
“And the evenings – if you want,” she said hesitantly.
“Perfect,” he said grinning. “Do you need me to take you to all these campuses?”
“I don’t want to put you out like that. I can take a cab, can’t I?”
“That would become rather expensive. Let me see if I can arrange a car and driver for you.”
“That sounds expensive. You don’t have to do that. I can probably figure out some public transportation –”
“Not if you want to get to where you need to on time.”
“Oh,” she sounded uncertain. Chris watched as she bit her lower lip trying to figure out what to do. What he would like to do to that lip, he thought before he could stop himself.
Sister, he repeated in his head. Sister.
“I’ll take you,” he said with finality. “It won’t be any problem. What time do you have to be at Stanford tomorrow?”
“The tour starts at 9am. The panel is at 10am for an hour and then we can stay longer if we want to talk one on one with a professor.”
“I can drop you off and then hit the gym for a couple of hours. You can call me when you need me to pick you up.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” she commented, finishing up her pasta.
“More?” he asked her.
“Yes please,” she answered after a moment’s hesitation.
He smiled at getting her to eat some more. Their mom would be proud.
“How about after Stanford we go to Venice Beach?”
“That would be great! I’ve always wanted to see it.”
“Depending on how long we stay we can have supper there or come home and I can cook again.”
“I’m sorry I can’t offer to help with the cooking,” she told him self-consciously. “I never learned. Mom loves to do it and gets frustrated with me when I try to help. I guess I don’t have any cooking skills.”
“I like to cook. It’s no big deal.”
“You’re very good.”
They ate for a while in comfortable silence. While she was busy eating, he watched her. He wondered if she would let him feed her with his fingers. Loving the tender control it gave him over her made his cock twitch at the thought.
“So Emma,” he began to tear himself away from his fantasy. “How’s your boyfriend?”
She looked up at him shocked. Putting down her fork, she held his gaze despite the unease he saw in her eyes.
“I – I don’t have … a boyfriend,” she told him embarrassed. “I know that I’m not exactly any man’s type.”
“What do you mean?” he asked baffled by her words. “You’re beautiful and smart.”
She finally looked away but not before he saw her blush.
“I know that as my brother you have to say such – nice things to me but I’m realistic. I know I’m too fat and weird looking for any man to – want me. I also don’t have much of a personality so I can’t hold the interest of a man even if he did approach me.” She glanced up at him. He found himself frowning at her words. “Mom and dad always say that I’m pretty but I’ve never found a man … outside of my – biological parents’ friends, that have found me attractive.”
She looked away before saying that final part. The shame she was feeling showed through her whole body. Her head and shoulders were turned inward. Her arms hugged herself, as if to keep some deep emotion locked up inside her.
“Emma, please look at me,” he ordered her gently. She lifted her head and stared at him with tear filled eyes. Putting his hand palm up on the table, he hoped that she would put her hand on top of his without him commanding her. She looked at his hand and then slowly, timidly, put her hand in his. He grasped it, laying his thumb across her pulse.
Her heart was steady, a little fast but not racing. He waited for her to look back up at him.
“Emma I know we’re brother and sister,” he began, hoping he was about to say the right thing. “But we’re not really. We didn’t grow up with each other. We don’t share the same DNA. So I say this as a man and not your family, you are an extremely gorgeous woman. You have the – hottest body I have ever seen. Generous hips and thighs, but that ass and those tits of yours are fucking incredible.”
He chuckled when he saw her eyes go wide with surprise and she blushed a deeper red. “Look at me,” he snapped at her when she tried to look away from him. Her eyes flew back to his. He tightened his hold on her hand. His heart did a flip when he felt her grip his hand in return.
“As for your personality,” he began. “You are clearly brilliant and as far as I can tell, the sweetest submissive I have ever come across. One day you are going to make a man very happy and he will make you very happy.”
She began to shake her head. Her eyes lost some of that wonder she had. “The last man that wanted me to touch him was my … father’s best friend. When I was – eight.”
“What that man did to you had nothing to do with sex,” Chris said keenly. “He raped you. As did all those men and women at that place. Don’t mistake the horror they put you through as meaningful intimacy through sex. They hurt you. They took your need to love and please others and perverted it. They made you do unspeakable acts. No experienced Dom would ever make you do anything against your will. He would help you to want to do his bidding because in the end you would find ecstasy from ceding control to him.”
Her gaze was slightly hazy. Was that desire he saw in them? He watched her swallow hard and then watched the veil fall over her countenance again.
“No,” she said it as if she meant to ward him off. “No man wants a – damaged woman like me. Maybe if I were pretty they might overlook … my past. But no normal man wants someone so messed up.”
“Do you think I’m normal?” he asked her suddenly.
“No?!” he said surprised.
“No, you’re not normal,” she continued seriously. “You’re special. You’re handsome and smart, kind and sweet but can kick butt when you need to on the field. You’re famous and rich. Every man wants to be you and every woman wants to be with you. You’re not normal Chris.”
“Would it surprise you to know then that I don’t care about your past, other than as something I want to help you forget?”
“You’re a great big brother,” she whispered her voice full of emotion.
“But I’m also a man. A man that finds you incredibly sexy and wants nothing more than to bring you pleasure. Do you hear what I’m saying?”