My throat hurts. I’m afraid to open my eyes. And when I try, it takes all my energy just to pry them apart. My vision is blurry, but the room slowly comes into view. I can hear the soft crash of the waves, and smell the salt in the air. I can also feel the cool breeze coming in from an open door.
I look around, and slowly the blurred shapes become objects. Furniture. My eyes land on the open balcony door. I try and move, but splitting pain ricochets through my body. A small squeak of pain escapes me, and I collapse back on the pillow. I know immediately that I am back at Ezra’s home. I recognize the view beyond this room.
The question is, why? My heart begins hurting when I think back to the earlier events. Remus attacked me. And not in his synical, I’m warning you kind of way. He did it with the intention of killing me. After he made me suffer. And the look in his eyes. Pure, unfiltered hatred. For me.
“Try not to move.” I jump when I hear Ezra’s voice. He’s walking in through the door on the far side of the room. He slowly takes a seat next to me, a grim expression on his face. I open my mouth, but he’s quick to stop me.
“Don’t speak... He crushed your throat. It’s best if you don’t talk for now.” He says. I shake my head, in confusion, and a sob escapes me. He holds out a pad and a pen to me.
“Can you write down what it is you need to say?” He says. My cheeks begin to burn in embarassment. That was one of the things Remus was supossed to teach me how to do, but never got around to it. I squeeze my eyes shut and more tears fall. I shake my head.
Ezra takes a deep breath, and looks out the window.
“I can’t heal you like my brother can. That’s never been something Xion and I could master. We can syphen energy fine, but manipulating it to heal has always been a difficult task for us. All I can do is give you something to ease the pain, and help you along with the healing process.
He stands, looking across the room. I follow with my eyes and see Sky coming in the room. She’s carrying a towel and come clothes. Ezra smiles softly at her, and stands up.
“Sky is going to help you get cleaned up.” He says.
The last time I was cleaned by someone else other than myself was before Remus left to his unknown destination. He was so gentle, and attentive. And when I peeked at him, he actually seemed to be enjoying what he was doing. He also apologized to me. For shouting at me. And now, he suddenly wants me dead. He called me a “thing
An involuntary sob escapes me, echoing off the stone walls. Damn. Sky places the sponge on my back, letting the warm water cascade down. I hate how much I care. Just a few days ago, I loathed him. I’ve grown used to him, and his strange sense of kindness that he’s been showing me lately. What could have possibly happened for him to hate me now?
“You love him, don’t you.” I jump as Sky’s voice breaks into my thoughts. She places the sponge agaisnt my back again. It’s soothing.
"It's ok. I know you don't want to admit it that you have some form of affection for him. It would be unnatural." She's quiet for a moment.
“He loved you, you know.” She says.
“The whole time we were coming to the planet he and Ezra would speak about you. Ezra never took my mind, so I could always hear the conversation. He was confused on his emotions. He kept saying how you were different.” She says. I can’t talk, so I just listen.
“I’m sorry... for what I said about our home. I don’t retract my beliefs, but I shouldn’t have been so harsh towards you. Especially under the circumstances.” She says. I try and respond, but my throat explodes in pain, and I begin coughing like crazy. Nothing but a raspy breath escapes me.
“Don’t speak. You’ll strain yourself.” She picks up a vase of water and pours it through my hair.
“These beings are so used to conquering and taking. I think they’re confused on what doing anything other than that entails. I’m not justiying them, because they will always be the monsters that took our home. But what has the Earth ever offered you, Iris?” She says.
I keep my gaze trained down.
"In a way, they saved our planet. Maybe not the people. But the planet itself."
“It was only ever going down the path of destruction. I know the fact that we are now enslaved makes things seem terrible, but the Earth was heading down a path of ruin. Even when you showed up, and brought what we thought was the answer... I love my father, but what they were planning was wrong. You can’t keep defending them. Not when the truth is right in your face.” She says. At the back of my mind, I know she’s right. And it’s what Remus has been trying to show me. I can’t even respond to her.
I’m looking down, when suddenly, I see blood. I gasp, and Sky sees it too. I begin moving away quickly, fear coursing through my veins at what I’m seeing. I don’t know what it is, or understand it. I look to Sky, but she’s confused too.
“Ezra! Ezra help!” She screams. He’s in the room within seconds, and his eyes widen.
My brother has always been my role model. He’s been the one I looked up to, and the one I strived to be like. No one could ever come close to him. He was always able to do so much more than Xion and I. We both had to work so hard, and me even harder being the youngest.
He was always so cold. Detached. That is, until he met Iris. I think she brought a change in him that no one else has been able to. Well no one has been able to get close enough to him to do so. But something about her caught his eye. And to this day, I try and figure out just what it was exactly. Plenty of beings have fought him when we came to their planet, why did he change his mind about this one?
Even he was confused about his feelings regarding her. And I couldn’t begin to explain to him what it meant. Which is why I was shocked to find him having sex with one of his slaves, and attacking Iris. He treated her the way he treated humans when we first arrived. With disgust. Irritation. Hatred.
It was as if he didn’t even recognize her.
I look up as Xion walks out of the room. She has a shocked look on her face. I reach out to her, when I see a tear fall. Xion has always hated Iris. Due to the fact that Iris betrayed our brother in the worst way by stabbing him and shooting him with weapons she thought were designed to kill him. Weapons they created by experimenting on me, and false results I gave them.
It may not have killed him but it left him on his ass for weeks. And the fact that they were newly bonded didn’t help lessen the pain either. Xion had to nurse him back to health, and she’s always been protective of her brothers. Especially when she saw the same thing I saw in Remus. That he was beginning to grow attached to Iris.
“What is it?” I ask. My heart rate is rising, and I’m growing crazy nervous. She walks past me, to the balcony, wiping her eyes. She keeps her back to me.
“Sit down.” She says. I open my mouth to ask her why, but do so anyway. She keeps staring out at the ocean, and I see her hands trembling slightly.
“She was pregnant.” I let out a soft gasp. No.
“Was?” I say. She shakes her head, and turns to look at me, and now I understand the source of her tears.
“She lost it. She had a miscarriage.” I quickly stand, moving to close the balcony doors.
“How?” I ask in complete confusion.
“Remus... when he strangled her...” My legs feel weak, they fall out from under me. When he attacked her, he did so with the intention to kill. And in the process he killed his own child. I try and catch my breath.
“Are you going to tell her?” I ask. She whips around to me, and i see anger and desperation in her gaze.
“No. She didn’t even know she was pregnant. Not a word of this to anyone. When she wakes, tell her she was dreaming, feign confusion.” She snaps at me.
“But why?” I ask.
“She’s a human. To us, that’s basically the equivalent to a child. She can’t bear this kind of weight. Not right now.” She says.
“Why would Remus do this? Why is she here with you now and not with him? Did he not know?” She asks. I shake my head.
“When he came back, her bonding mark disappeared, and when I took her to him, he attacked her. He didn’t even know her.” I say. Xion turns and looks at me.
“When he got back?” She asks. I nod.
“Have you spoken to him since?” She says.
“No...” I trail off. “I haven’t been able to penetrate the storm surrounding his home. It’s as if he’s locked us out.” I say. Xion looks troubled.
“How is that even possible?” She says.
“Did he say where he was going? Before he left?” I ask.
“He said he was going to see mother. To speak to her about the visions he’s been having.” She says. I’m quiet.
“You don’t think our mother has anything to do with his sudden loss of memory for Iris, do you?” I ask. She shakes her head.
“It couldn’t be. Why would mother care about something as inferior as that? Remus never let her interfere with his duty.” She says.
“So what now?” I ask. Xion is quiet as if thinking.
“Keep an eye on her. Take care of her, and we’ll just have to bide our time and wait for Remus to summon us.” She says.
“How do you know he will?”
“We’re the divine three. He’s going to need us sooner or later for something. He has to come to his senses eventually, and he’ll want Iris back when he does.” She says. I look around and make sure no one is near before I speak.
“And what about the baby? Are we going to tell him about that?” I ask.
Xion visibly saddens. Her whole demeanor drops, and she frowns shaking her head.
“No. It would destroy both of them.”