I turned around in his arms, until our eyes locked. My mouth was a few inches from his, but like magnets, the attraction was imminent. He kissed me, passionately, and for a moment everything was forgotten.
Our clothes fell away like petals falling from a flower. We moved through the apartment, leaving various items of clothing behind. Breadcrumbs, in case we lost our way although I knew it was already too late for me.
Tobias had his arms wrapped tight around me, his lips were on mine and still somehow he managed to push open his bedroom door.
“Who said men can’t multitask.” I murmured, pulling back from the kiss.
“It’s a common misconception.” he replied brusquely as he buried his face into the curve of my neck. His hands traveled down, sliding over my panties. It was all that remained of my clothing now, everything else was somewhere else in his apartment. My eyes closed on impulse, unable to process the sensation that radiated through me from Tobias’ touch alone. He took his time with me, savoring the moment like it was precious to the point the intensity was almost torture. I let out a moan as his hand moved underneath the thin fabric, and he walked his fingers down my pubis, until he pressed against my center. I let out a gasp and convulsed forward. His other hand caught me behind the neck.
“Relax.” He soothed.
“I don’t want to muck around Tobias.” I whispered, the burn of want spurred me on. “I need you. Right now.”
Tobias’ eyes glowed and his nostrils flared, he nodded, like he understood the fiery need coursing through me. Swiftly he removed my panties and buried himself inside me, making me feel completed by him once more. He moved hard and fast, clutching me in his arms, holding me as close as he good. It wasn’t long before the friction between our bodies set off an intense reaction from within, I pulsated around him, calling out his name like I was possessed. Tobias kissed me, silencing my cries with his mouth as his own release came. He held be there, his eyes on mine, he watched me breathlessly, his chest pressing against mine as he took several deep shuddering breaths. Finally he let me go and we collapsed apart onto the bed beside one another, completely exhausted. Tobias reach out, pulling me into his arms. I obeyed, happy to lay in his arms. I rest my head on his chest and I could hear the beating of Tobias’ heart, it was a little elevated still, although, we hadn’t been resting for long. I placed my hand on his stomach, and watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed in and out.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, breaking the silence of the room. I turned and propped myself up on his chest, I shrugged and smiled.
“Not about much.” I replied honestly. “I’m still recovering.”
Tobias chuckled and lifted his head up to kiss me on the forehead. “Stay with me tonight?”
I frowned, It was getting late, going home seemed almost counterproductive… and yet so did staying. I was falling, hard and fast for a man who didn’t seem to be able to reciprocate. One minute he was loving and tender, and then the next he shut off like a light switch.
“Do you think that is wise.” I whispered, looking down at the three freckles underneath his left nipple. I traced them in a triangle with my forefinger.
“Probably not.” he admitted. “But I still want you to stay.”
“Okay.” I replied. I wanted to ask what this was, what we were. Was I his girlfriend now? Or was this purely a sex thing for him? Did me staying again mean something? This was all information we should have worked out before we’d touched one another, but lust had got in the way and now I had no idea where I stood.
“Stop thinking.” Tobias murmured. “Overthinking everything that happens leads to a meaningless existence.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” I said with a sad smile.
“I guess I am.” he replied.
I rest my head back down on his chest, his heart was still beating fast, and his breathing was shallow. Whatever was happening between us, wasn’t just happening to me. I was almost sure of it. I fell asleep sometime later, no less confused but somehow more content than I had been in a long long time.
I was drifting in and out of sleep when Tobias climbed out of bed sometime later. He was almost hyperventilating. The door closed behind him, leaving me alone in the darkness of his bedroom. I looked at the clock, it was almost 1am. I got up, and walked down the hallway.
“I had another nightmare.” he sounded afraid, like an innocent child. “Yes… she’s here.”
Tobias paused, and didn’t say anything for a while. I felt bad listening in and began to walk back to his bedroom. “I told you… not for years, not until she came into my life.”
It was me. I was making him have nightmares.
I walked back into his bedroom and put my clothes on. I didn’t want to hurt Tobias, but my presence was only contributing more stress to whatever it was that had made him the way he was. I walked out into the living room, which caught Tobias’ attention.
“Gert, I have to go.” He exclaimed in a worried voice as I reached the door of his apartment.
Tobias stood and walked over to me “You’re leaving now? Its 1am?”
“I heard you leave the room, I followed you out…” I stopped and turned my head to look at Tobias. “I’m making you have nightmares?” I had tried to hide the hurt from my voice, and failed miserably.
Tobias swallowed hard, he hesitated to answer, which was more than enough confirmation. I tried to open the locked door so that I could leave.
“Ruby, please. Don’t go.” He begged.
“I’m making you have nightmares Tobias.” I replied, making a statement this time. “Can you open the door.”
Tobias grabbed my hand and turned me around. “Ruby, please, just stay…” I knew he wanted to say more… but something was holding him back.
“Why?” I replied.
“Because I like the way I feel when you’re around.” He exclaimed, his voice was loud and unapologetic, but it also completely contradicted everything he had said to Gert… whoever Gert was.
“Do you? Because a minute ago…” I reminded him I’d heard his confession.. He frowned, his eyebrows narrowed and his fist clenched.
“Fuck what I said a minute ago Ruby. That has nothing to do with you, I’m dealing with it.”
I frowned, and ignored the hurt in my heart as I realized that while I’d been falling in love with Tobias over the past couple of weeks, he wasn’t falling back. He still didn’t want to let me in.
“I can’t…” I stopped and took a shallow breath. “and this can’t happen again. From now on you’re just my boss.” I wasn’t even sure it was possible after everything that had happened, but this, whatever it was, wasn’t going to work. I’d already spent time in a relationship that had damaged me, I couldn’t do it again. Even if with Tobias the damage was different.
“Just your boss.” He spat out. “You think that’s anywhere near enough for me?”
“It’s going to have to be. I don’t know what happened between us in your mind… but in mine, I met an amazing man I could... “ I stopped, unable to bring myself to admit just how deep my feelings had gotten in such a short time. “I need more than sex, I want to let you into my life and I want to be let into yours.”
“I’ve let you in more than I’ve ever let anyone Ruby, isn’t that enough?” He pleaded.
“No… it isn’t.” I whispered sadly, wishing anything I was wrong. “One day maybe… maybe you’ll find someone you don’t need to hide your pain in front of.” It just wasn’t me.
“Ruby.” He mumbled, his voice was tight.
“Let me out.” I said calmly.
Tobias reached across and unlocked the door. “I’ll have a staff driver take you home.” His voice was cold, the switch had been flicked. Icy Tobias was back in the building.
“You’re not waking anyone at this hour.” I replied.
“Then I’ll take you myself. You’re not walking.”
“I’ll catch a cab.” I replied. “I have money.”
“Ruby.” Tobias exclaimed, his voice was loud and I could tell he was frustrated. I jumped out of shock rather than fear, but immediately Tobias backed off, away from the door and away from me. “Just go.” He whispered, his voice empty of emotion. “Leave me.”
I looked at him, there was an innocence to him, the same one I’d seen only moments ago when he had been on the phone, one that made me want to stay and hold him.
“I’m sorry.” I murmured, as I stepped through the door. I stayed glued to that spot though, unable to move any further.
“Don’t be. You’re right. I’m not able to give you what you want.” He replied, his voice cold again. “Goodbye Ruby.”
He closed the door behind me and with a heavy heart I walked down the corridor and toward the elevator. I pressed the button to go down and waited for the doors to pop open.
Tobias’ door opened again, drawing my attention back. “Just give me tonight.” He whispered.
“Tobias.” I pleaded. If I stayed tonight, it would make leaving all of this behind tomorrow that much harder. I was a sucker for punishment, I’d proven that much already but even I had my limits.
“Tomorrow I’ll let you go. I won’t bother you anymore.” He exclaimed. “I’m just not ready for this to end tonight.”
I let myself look at him as stupid as it was and it was all it took, I was all in. His eyes were soft, his face flushed. He wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t angry either. There was another emotion coursing through him, one I couldn’t put my finger on. Fear, sadness… both. I walked away from the elevator and back down the corridor toward Tobias.
“Tonight.” I whispered, sliding into his embrace.
He nodded and kissed me, silencing the discord hovering overhead. I found myself falling into his embrace further as he moved backward and closed the door. He unbuttoned my blouse, focusing solely on the task as if it was of the utmost importance. Once it was undone, he shrugged it down my shoulders and off my arms until it fell to the ground. His mouth settled on my collarbone, laying soft kisses on my bare skin.
He lifted me up without a word and walked across his apartment floor, back into his bedroom. He lay me down on the bed, he propped himself up on his arms and our eyes locked. He smiled before kissing me, sweeping me back into his orbit. His hands moved over my stomach, hooking into the waistband of my skirt, grazing the skin ever so slightly. I lifted my hips to meet his, but he pulled back, a mischievous smile moved across his face as leaned back.
“This time, we’re going to take our time.” He whispered.
“Tobias.” I whimpered. “I can’t.”
Tobias pressed his mouth over my nipple on the outside of my bra. I shivered and bit my lip. He was driving me crazy, all of this mind blowing sex… I knew I was setting myself up for disappointment, for an imminent heartbreak, but stopping it was going to be like trying to stop a train with my bare hands. Impossible.
I grasped out for him, only getting a handful of his shirt in return, he shrugged it off, allowing my hands to touch the warmth of his back. His skillful mouth had me shivering even through the fabric of my bra but it wasn’t long before it wasn’t enough. I sat up, removing my hands from his back to reach around and unclasp my bra. I removed it, which was met with a nod of approval from Tobias. He cupped my breast in his hands, returning his mouth to the mounds once more. I let my head fall back onto the pillow. Tobias trailed his kisses back up to my mouth, claiming it with his.
For the second time that evening our clothes fell to the floor. Only this time as Tobias hovered above me I flipped around until I was straddling him. We were as close as we could be, his head rest against my breasts as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I moved against him forgetting everything that had happened in the moments prior, when I had been about to leave. I thought of nothing but him and this moment until it took up all of my senses until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost all control giving it to him unequivocally. Tobias’ grip on me tightened as he too lost control.
A moment later we fell apart once more, and this time I was more than exhausted. Not just from physical exertion, but the emotional stuff had gotten to me as well. I wasn’t sure how tomorrow was going to play out, but I couldn’t spare the energy to worry about it. I fell asleep for the second time in Tobias’ grip. When I woke the sun was streaming in, I sat up in shock and looked at the alarm clock. It was 9:30am
“Shit.” I grumbled. I looked down at Tobias’ pillow, he was gone, but he’d left a note.
I couldn’t wake you. I only have a couple of meetings today and I’m planning an early day myself. So have a day off (paid of course.)
Also, I’d really like it if you stayed.