“Ruby, Nothing has changed, I can’t give you a proper relationship.” he whispered softly.
“I know.” I whispered. “And I know I said I can’t settle… and while that also hasn’t changed, I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” He murmured.
I smiled, so he did miss me. Even though we were doomed, even though it was never going to work. I closed my eyes and smiled.
“Then let’s spend the weekend together. Come Monday we’ll lock whatever this is away in a vault and throw away the key.” I closed my eyes. “I want to forget today, help me forget?”
I opened my eyes and looked up at Tobias, he nodded. “Okay.”
His fingers traced up my arms, caressing my shoulders until finally he was cupping my cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about doing this since you left two weeks ago.”
“Thinking about doing what?” I whispered.
“Touching you.” he replied. “The way you feel… it makes me feel things I can’t comprehend.”
“I know what you mean.” I smiled as I tiptoed enough to press my lips to his. He reacted instantly,
Returning the kiss with an unadulterated fervor. It was like we had never been apart, like the last two weeks of purgatory hadn’t happened. I forgot about what happened only hours before, instead choosing to lose myself in him. I rest my hands on the collar of Tobias shirt, before sliding my hands down to the buttons, working on them one by one.
Tobias nibbled on my lip, as he lifted his hands to my face. “I swear I didn’t invite you back here to seduce you.” Tobias whispered pulling back from the kiss.
“I know.” I replied. “Besides I think I’m the one seducing you.”
Tobias smiled, it hit his eyes and lit his face up. I peeled his shirt back, off his shoulders. He let his hands drop down the sides, allowing the fabric of his dress shirt to fall down onto the ground. I ran my fingers up his arms, over his pecs and onto his chest. His skin was warm beneath mine, I grazed my nails across his skin and looked up. His eyes were heavy lidded, his lips slightly open.
“I think you might be right.” He whispered.
I nodded and brought my lips to Tobias’ once more. He pulled me hard against him, removing any and all space between us. We kissed as we walked through the room, back to the couch. Tobias stopped, his hands gravitated to the hemline of my top and he lifted it, up and over my body. He smiled as his fingers ran up the front of my body, stopping at the fabric of my black bra.
Our eyes met, and he dipped his head, as if to ask if I was sure. I nodded. Being with Tobias, right here right now was one thing I was absolutely sure about.
He moved his hands behind my back, unclasping my bra and allowing it to fall to the ground.
His touch was like heaven, and I was sure now that no matter what I had told myself, I needed this, anyway I could get it. His fingers traced back to the soft mounds, cupping them while his thumbs tweaked softly against my hardening nipples. I let out a moan, and that one soft sound sent Tobias into a frenzy. The remainder of our clothes were discarded between kisses and illicit touches, until finally we were both naked in the living room of Tobias’ apartment. Neither one of us made the move to escape to the bedroom, the lust bubbling to the surface was too much. I needed him now. I pushed Tobias onto the couch, straddling him once he had sat down. He let out a slow unsteady breath before lifting me slightly to guide himself inside. Instantly I felt a fullness I’d been without, a fullness I didn’t want to go without ever again.
Tobias hands grasped my back, while his mouth settled over my left nipple. He sucked before lifting his lips away, breathing in through his mouth, letting a rush of cold air hit the sensitive flesh. I moved against him, with him my body yearning for the release I’d learned to expect from our trysts.
“I missed this.” Tobias whispered against the softness of my breast. I placed my hand on his cheek, grabbing his attention. He looked up his eyes wide. “I did too.”
He smiled, while moving beneath me. Our eyes were locked as we moved together, building speed and friction simultaneously. The familiar warmth began to wash over me, encapsulating my entire body, surrounding me like an aura of lust. My head fell back, but Tobias caught it with his hands.
“Look at me.” He whispered.
And I did, I lifted my head back up and looked at him. His jaw was clenched, but his eyes were soft. He seemed vulnerable, like he was breaking down his walls without words.
“Ruby.” my name left his lips with a guttural groan, it was all I needed to send me over the edge. I rocked against him, mumbling his name under my breath as my release hit me. He held me tighter as he too lost himself.
We fell asleep together on the sofa, wrapped in one another, naked and spent. It was dark when I woke again and the lights in the apartment were off. Tobias was moving around, twitching beneath me.
“No.” He mumbled sleepily, pushing me away from him.
He shook his head and lifted his arms to protect himself. “No. Please. No.”
I climbed out from under the blanket that had been covering us and off the sofa. I pulled on my shirt and I looked down, Tobias was still asleep. He was having a nightmare, guilt surfaced. Not again.
I dropped beside him and ran my fingers through his hair. “Tobias.” I murmured. “You’re okay.”
His eyes flickered open, he sighed with relief. His eyes widened, “I’m okay.” He mirrored my words, but it sounded like he was asking a question.
“Do you want me to go?” I whispered.
Tobias shook his head and lifted his hand to my face. “I want you here, where I know you’re safe.”
I smiled, I was safe now regardless. Tobias’ and his worry meant he’d had Chris the door guard keeping tabs on me. It had paid off. I was free… and this time I didn’t need to worry about Ben showing up in my life randomly.
“Let’s go to bed then.” I smiled, holding my hand out to him. Tobias took it and together we walked to his bedroom and fell into bed.
I woke the next morning alone. The apartment was filled with a delicious aroma, one that made my stomach roar with hunger. I sat up in Tobias’ bed, ready to venture out and see what was going on, but before I could, Tobias walked through the door carrying a large tray.
“Stay there.” He smiled. “I’ve made you breakfast in bed.”
I giggled, I’d never had breakfast in bed made for me, and I gathered by the goofy grin on Tobias usually oh so serious face, he had never made it for anyone either.
“This is sweet.” I replied. “Thank you.”
Tobias placed the tray on my lap. He’d made pancakes with bacon and bananas and maple syrup on top. He’d also made a coffee, and freshly squeezed juice as well.
“I was thinking about what you said.” He murmured sitting down at the end of the bed. “About spending the weekend together.”
My heart sunk. He didn’t think it was a good idea, and breakfast was his way of letting me down gently.
“Oh.” I mumbled, my throat suddenly dry.
“Ruby.” He whispered, reaching for my hand. “Look at me.” his words were urgent, like he needed to see my reaction. I looked up, even though I wanted to move the plate of food to the side, and run from Tobias’ apartment in shame. He smiled and tilted his head.
“I want you here.” he whispered. I could see his eyes were filled with fear but I didn’t know why. My heart inflated and I smiled back at him. He wanted me here, at least for now… and in the moment, that was enough for my damaged heart.
Tobias disappeared from the room for a few minutes so I tucked into the breakfast he’d made me. I took a sip of Juice as he walked back in with his own tray.
He sat down beside me on the bed.
“Is this what couples do?” He murmured.
I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at him. “Your guess is as good as mine.” I smiled and leaned across to kiss him on the cheek. “But if it isn’t, it should be.”
“I agree.” he replied.
“So do you have any work to attend to today?” I looked back down at my food and picked up a piece of banana.
“No. Actually I was thinking we could go for a walk through Anderson park.”
“You don’t mind being seen in public with me.”
“Why would I mind Ruby.” Tobias replied with wry annoyance.
“The rumor mill, paparazzi…”
“I don’t care about them. They can report what they like.” he shifted and pushed his tray down his lap. “Unless you care about being seen with me.”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
“Well it’s settled then, we’ll go for a walk after breakfast.”
“Okay. Sounds good.”
After we were both finished I showered and dressed in clean clothes. When I left the room, Tobias was already waiting in the living area. He looked up at me and smiled.
“Shall we go?”
I nodded and together we walked from the apartment. I’d be lying if I didn’t notice eyes on us the minute was walked out onto the busy city street. Tobias was a well known face, and I was a nobody. The polarising view of us together was bound to get people talking, He placed his hand on the small of my back and leaned in.
“You’re very perceptive today.” I mused.
“We can go back to the apartment if this is too much.” he replied sympathetically.
“I’m fine.” I assured him. Because I was. maybe.
By the time we arrived at the park I’d managed to relax a bit. It was a beautiful serene place, with perfectly placed fragrant flowers in every direction. I’d never been a truly girly girl, trackpants, a bowl of popcorn and a movie had always been more my scene, but this was breathtaking.
I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.
“You look deep in thought.” Tobias whispered.
“This place.” I replied. “Why haven’t I been here until now.”
I drew my fingers along the top of a concrete railing as I leaned down to inhale the sweet scent of an orange coloured rose.
The heat of the sun hit my skin, warming me enough to remove my jacket. Tobias pointed to the small man made lake. “Dad used to bring me here to think.” he murmured. “I used to sit on that rock for hours.”
“He was a good Dad, wasn’t he.”
Tobias nodded. “Most of the time. But he wasn’t perfect.”
“Have you been here lately?”
Tobias shook his head and looked away from the lake and the rock and turned his attention to me. “Not since I was 17.” he admitted. “I found other ways of dealing with my teenage emotions.”
I wanted to ask what it was he had been dealing with. What had messed him up so much that he felt like he had to close off from others, but I didn’t. He was opening up as much as he could, and I was thankful for anything I could get.
Maybe, just maybe there was hope for us after all.