The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie
The drive back to Cherri’s house last night was quite awkward and maybe it was all due to my big ass mouth and I wish that Einstein had somehow managed to discover time travel instead of E=MC^2. When I pulled up at her driveway, she opened the door and didn’t even spare me one look, not even one.
I made sure I woke up early just so I could catch Cherri before she made her way out to the bus stop. I’m sure she hated to be on that bus filled with idiotic teens because I know I would.
I stretched my muscles after the long sleep they endured and hopped out of my bed and walked over to my window and snatched my curtains open. I peeked over to my neighbors house, hopping to see a certain blonde headed individual behind her window.
And to my surprise, there she was, hopping around her room trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans.
I picked up a ballpoint pen and threw it at her window easily.
I saw her jump and fall as she got caught in her pant legs.
I chuckled and shook my head as I leaned against my window.
Cherri stayed on the ground for a couple of minutes before she popped back up with her jeans hugging her slim waist.
She then marched towards her window and snatched it open, glaring at me.
“I didn’t take you as a pervert Hindrix.” She blew a piece of her hair out of her face and pouted adorably.
I licked my dry lips and I could see her shift her gaze away from me . “Sugar, I couldn’t help myself.”
Her face flushed at my comment and she looked down playing with her fingers before speaking.
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that Jace.”
I cocked my head to the side, trying to seem as innocent as possible. “What ever do you mean Cherri.”
She bit her lip and wiped her palms on the sides of her jeans. “Nothing, just nothing.”
My head was still cocked to the side but I decided to let the matter slip cause no dude will ever be able to understand females and I’m sure nobody will ever understand Cherri.
“Well would that mean that you wouldn’t want a ride to school.” I still didn’t want her to have to ride that big stinky bus. I would much rather her sit beside me for a good five minutes everyday.
A smile slowly crept onto her face and I couldn’t help but to smile too. Cherri had a smile that made you want to be happy go lucky, and actually try to see if there was a pot of gold on the end of that rainbow....Cherri had that effect on me.
She made me feel so gay at times.
I nodded my head and turned away, a smile still laid on my face.
I swiftly turned around and raised my eyebrows at her “Yes, Sugar?”
She covered her face with her hands and I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction.
“Maybe I’m dying to finally let someone be able to touch me.”
She looked me straight in my eyes and for a moment I could almost see through her. I could see the pain, the anxiety, and the longing all bounded behind her eyes and that’s when I finally realized that I was going to help Cherri Johnson finally be able to be touched again.
I sat patiently in my driveway waiting for Cherri to come out her house so we can go to school.
In a matter of seconds she came storming out of the house like a ball of fire, her mom hot on her tail.
“I don’t care if you hate it Cherlyn, It’s whats’s best for you.”
Cherri came and stood in front of my Betty and placed her hands on her hips. “How could you possibly know what’s best for me, if you actually knew then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, in fact you wouldn’t be standing in front of me wasting your breathe Heather.”
Mrs. Johnson face twisted as she stepped closer towards Cherri with a pointed finger. “Your a disgrace to this family, do you know how hard it is for me to hear people talk about my estranged daughter.”
Cherri blankly stared at her mother and unlike earlier this morning, I couldn’t see through her, I couldn’t read Cherri’s face....her wall was built back up.
“Go to hell.“She scowled at her mother before walking over to the passenger side and climbing in and slamming the car door shut.
“Hey, take care of my baby.”
Cherri mumbled “sorry” before turning her back away from me and resting her head on the door.
I instantly cursed myself for being such a dick but sometimes I can’t help myself. My egoistic personality always claws it’s way out.
“Cherri”I called out to her but I still didn’t get no response from her. Her back heaved up and down and I notice little sniffles here and there...she was crying. I badly wanted to reach out and touch her shoulder or cradle her as her salty tears cascaded down her face. I wanted to protect her from the evil of this world, including her mothers harsh words.
“Cherri, look at me.” She shook her head before coughing and laying her head back on the car door.
I don’t know what came over me but I did it and to be honest, I didn’t regret it one bit.
I reached over and rubbed my hand on her back, in soothing motions and for a moment she calmed down. Her crying stopped and her body was no longer heaving due to her cries and coughs.
She slowly turned to me and my hands moved away from her. Her tear stained face was blank and her mouth hung open.
“I’m sorry Cherri it’s just you wouldn’t stop crying and I don-.”
“It’s ok” She cut me off mid sentence and she turned straight in her seat and confusedly stared forward.
It scared me how she was able to make her face look so plain, to make all emotion disappear and never return to it. She was a pro of masking her feelings. I wanted to know what she was thinking at times like this. Cherri Johnson was indeed a mystery.
It was like my body was the fire and his touch was the water, my ignited flame was put to ease by his touch and his touch only. I didn’t resist it, instead I just let it linger on my back for a couple of seconds before I convinced myself that this was not okay.
I couldn’t find the words to say to him, I couldn’t find the words to reassure myself that this was okay because deep down I knew that this wasn’t okay.
I let another human touch me, another human male in fact.
I continued to stare straight ahead after I told him that it was okay.
I think I might start to hate that word now, cause everything cannot be fixed with a simple ‘okay’. My mood can’t be expressed with a simple ‘okay’. Jace actions cannot be ignored with a simple ‘okay’ Everything was simply not ‘okay’.
We pulled up to the school and Jace had parked and everything but I couldn’t move from the spot that I had been glued too for the past couple of mintues......I wouldn’t even budge.
I turned and my eyes were met with soft brown ones. I immediately felt like I had fell under the famous Hindrix spell. His eyes looked over my face with worry and concerned and my heart literally jumped at the thought of Jace Hindrix worrying and being concerned about me.
“Yes” I somehow managed to squeak out. My voice was almost hoarse due to the crying and coughing fit I had. Oh God, I probably sounded like a eighty-year old man with tuberculosis and he witnessed the whole thing.
Please let Zeus come and take me away with a single bolt of lightening....I beg of thee.
I covered my face with my hands and sighed.
“Jace, I don’t know what’s happening anymore, not like you care but....I just don’t know.”
A single tear fell from my now watering eyes and he reached over and wiped it away. My eyes twitched at the sudden action but my face didn’t burn when his fingers came in contact with it, it actually felt cool against me.
I leaned forward as his hands continued to wipe away my falling tears and I made the mistake of looking up at him. A smile inched across his face and he cupped my face with his hands.
“Cherri, your as soft as I imagined you would be.”
I jumped back, my face no longer in his hands and I grabbed my satchel and put it on my shoulder.
I put my hand on the door handle and looked back at him. “No Jace, no more waiting.”
He looked so confused as he stared deeply at me, glancing all over my face for something, anything.
I opened the door, and rushed out the car, making sure not to slam Betty’s door like I did earlier.
I saw Dylan walk over and I made sure to pick up my pace, I didn’t want to converse any more than I already have.
He waved at me but frowned as I walked past him, not even cracking a smile. I made myself too comfortable around these two males. They probably will end up doing the same thing to me that HE did and thinking about it placed a burden over my cold cold heart.
Jace had already brought up those painful memories and he didn’t even mean too.
He called me soft just like HE did and He made me feel at ease like HE did.
I mean there is some differences from HIM and Jace.
Jace is incredibly handsome, way too handsome for some dainty dandelion like me.
HE wasn’t ugly but he wasn’t even a match for Jace good looks which makes the matters much worse.
While he had Icy blue eyes that appeared like a cold and hateful sea, Jace had memorizing brown eyes that seem to take your breathe away and make you lose yourself and forget all your senses.
But the one thing they had in common was they way they made me feel and I don’t want things to end with Jace like they did with HIM.
HE broke me, HE made me and my mom slip apart, HE made my happiness leap out the window and never be seen again. HE made my skin burn every time I came in contact with a human.
But Jace made a difference in all that.
His scent makes my stomach bubble,sometimes it feels like little butterflies are flying around in it and other times it feels like turtles laying eggs in there.
His touch didn’t make me react like it did at the diner that evening, instead it made my body cool down, it made my back irrupt in tingles.
Jace Hindrix touched me and I think I liked it.