Chapter Nineteen.The truth.
Song for this chapter: Tom Odell-Heal.
Grayson was dropping me home after I had gotten all of the information I needed, he could tell something was off with me ever since the bell rang signalling for us to go home. He could read me like an open book as I could him, but I assured him I was okay and just had a headache. I wasn’t exactly lying to him, I did in fact have a headache from all the different amount of possibilities swarming my head like bees in a beehive. But it wasn’t why I was acting...off.
That was for a whole other reason that I was hoping to find out very soon. I pecked Grayson’s lips and then unbuckled my seat belt. I was about to open the car door but Grayson stopped me by placing his hand over mine.
I looked over at him with furrowed brows and a small smile on my lips. He looked at me, his eyes saying it all. He was concerned, ″Lib, what’s going on?″ He asked me, rubbing circles on the palm of my hand with his big hand.
I plastered a fake smile on my face and shook my head slightly, ″Nothing, Gray. I just have a headache and want to take a nap″ I lied straight through my teeth like an Oscar winning actress.
I hated lying to him, but I couldn’t tell him I possibly might have lost my memory and I obviously can’t remember how. I know he wouldn’t think I was crazy, but I wanted my questions to be answered...explained first before I tell him.
He sighed out a breath and shook his head disappointingly, ″Lib, please don’t shut me out. I can tell there is something wrong with you, ever since you called Blake out of the meeting you’ve been acting strange″ He stated matter of factly,his voice sounded pained and hurt and it killed me to hear him like that. I knew I couldn’t keep up my lies for much longer.
He was catching on quickly and it was just a matter of time before he found out so I rather tell him sooner than later. Before I could blurt it all out he placed his two warm hands on my cheeks and looked deeply into my eyes. ″Please″ He cried out.
I sighed and nodded my head slowly, his whole face brightened as he kissed my forehead and whispered out a small , ″Thank you″.
I took in a breath as I prepared myself to tell him something I didn’t even know the answers to myself but was hopeful to soon receive once I walked in my house.
He gave me an encouraging smile as I began, ″Well, since I was first introduced to Blake or what I was thought was our first introduction″.
Grayson had his forehead creased at my words but I continued, ″He was always cold towards me or wouldn’t acknowledge my presence when we were sitting at the same table with Becca and the girls″.
Grayson gestured for me to continue with a small smile, ″So this morning, after you had just left he-″ It wasn’t me who stopped my talking this time but Grayson, he jaw was clenched but his eyes were filled with worry as he placed his two soft hands on my face again and examined it like a science project, leaving me confused.
″He didn’t hurt you, did he? I swear if-″.
″No, No″ I exclaimed, slightly shaking my head. He let out a breath of relief as he relaxed back down in his leather chair but still held his eyes on mine.
″You’d tell me if someone did anything to you, right?″ He questioned, I nodded my head agreeably.
″Of course″ I answered him with a reassuring smile.
And that was another reason as to why I loved this man. He was gentle with me, caring, loving, soothing, he was everything you could possibly dream for and more as a little girl who wishes for her Prince Charming.
But yet he was ready to confront anyone who got in my way, especially Hunter. That name alone just makes me shiver, I’m glad he finally got expelled but I know that soon his time will be up and I would have to face him again.
″But as I was saying, he was leaning against the lockers beside mine. I smiled at him and of course he didn’t acknowledge me in the slightest until he muttered out that I don’t know him. I was confused at first because of course I didn’t know who he was, he never spoke to me. But then he said something that I couldn’t stop thinking about before he left″ I breathed out, Grayson had his brows fetched together as he remained concentrated on what I was saying.
″What did he say?″ He asked curiously, his eyes telling me that he was trying to connect the dots as I continued to speak. He was listening intently to every word I spoke like it was most interesting thing he had ever heard about.
″He said something about me not being the same person I was years ago and that he didn’t think I would forget about my best-friend″ I uttered out, ″But it was the way he said it, Gray. Like as if he knew me, as if I was his best-friend″ I noted, my voice low.
Grayson looked entirely confused by this point just like how I was feeling, he was biting his lip which I admit did look sexy but that’s beside the point. He was in concentration mode as he held his eyebrows together thinking to how this all could make sense.
″So I couldn’t leave without answers, which is why I took him out of the meeting. I asked him if it was all a lie, to put me on edge for whatever dumb reason he had but the look in his eyes told me it was the truth, but I still needed him to explain it to me. So he did″.
I left out the part where Blake talked about me getting hit by Hunter, it was a low blow but I could tell he regretted it. People make mistakes and not everyone is sorry for them but Blake was, the least I could do was not tell Grayson about that. Because I know he wouldn’t be the slightest bit happy.
″He told me everything, how we were next door neighbors all our lives, how we did everything together, told each other everything, but then when my Father passed away he said I became distant and wouldn’t leave my room. He tried talking to me for a few months but then he moved house, he seen me at the grocery store but he said I acted as if I didn’t know him″, I admitted sadly. I can’t imagine what I possibly put him through.
Even though I don’t remember him, I know there was a point in my life where I probably would have died for him and I could tell he would have done the same for me. That’s what best-friends do. I felt guilty for not knowing who he was anymore, but hopefully once I get my answers it will all come rushing back to me.
″Because I don’t, I don’t have any recollection of him. Not one memory together, nothing″.
Grayson now had his lips slightly parted taking in heavy breaths, his eyes as confused as ever. He squeezed my hand to show he was there for me and I was thankful for that.I was thankful for him. I couldn’t never not be thankful for having Grayson in my life.
″What are you going to do now?″ He asked me gently, I could tell he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He always knew the right way to act around me, he could be gentle, he could be cocky, he could be funny but with each of those traits, he was always loving.
″I’m going to confront Jackson, he obviously knows Blake and I were best friends so he must know why I can’t remember him. He has too, right?″ I asked rhetorically, ″I just want to remember, it’s the least I could do for Blake. I couldn’t imagine losing a best friend″.
Grayson nodded his head and gave me a proud smile, ″Do you want me to come in with you?″ He suggested, but I shook my head. I think it’s best if I do this alone, although it would easier with Grayson by my side. I think I just need to be alone once I find out why.
″Thank you, Gray. But I think this is something I need to do by myself″ I said as I leaned closer to him and left a lingering kiss on his lips.
″I’ll text you later, Lib. Good luck″ He smiled at me reassuringly, I mirrored his actions and soon enough I was getting out of his car.
Once I reached my front door, I waved at Grayson before I opened the door and walk straight inside. The whole place was quiet, the only sound coming from the creaking of wood underneath me as I walked up the stairs and made my way to Jackson’s bedroom.
I knew Gabriela was at Grayson’s house for a few hours today, she practically couldn’t stop talking about this new game Bella got so she was hopping with excitement all the way to the bus stop.
Taking in a deep breath, I knocked loudly on Hunter’s door not wanting to walk straight in because God only knows what he’s doing or who he’s doing. But I knew my brother and he had stayed loyal to Olivia even though was cheating on him every lunch break .
″What do you want, Libby″ I heard Jackson mutter from behind the door, and here’s my cue to answer. Without wasting another second of my time, I opened Jackson’s door and barged into his room and went straight to his curtains to open them wide and let the sun come blinding in.
″What the fuck, Libby. What are you doing?″ Jackson almost yelled as he got up off his bed with a loud huff and made his way over to me. I crossed my arms over my chest as I narrowed my eyes up at Jackson.
″I need answers″ I muttered out, he furrowed his brows at my statement.
″What are you even talking about, Libby?″ He let out a frustrated breath as he looked at me as if I were a dog with two heads.
″I know″ I stated angrily, once again he looked at me as if I just came out of an UFO. He can’t hide it from me forever.
″Libby, do you think you could be a bit more clearer on what the bloody hell you are talking about?″ He raised his voice at the last few words, but I didn’t flinch. I was used to bi-polar ways by now.
I shook my head at him, disappointed that we promised to not keep secrets from each other and yet he hid my ‘best-friend’ away from me. ″Jacko, Jacko, Jacko″ I taunted, ″You didn’t think I would ever find out, did you?″.
He scrunched up his face, ″Libby, you’re really testing my patience. Tell me what you are talking about before I throw you out of my damn window″ He once again raised his voice, looking deeply into my eyes trying to read me. But he isn’t Grayson, he couldn’t read like me an open book like Grayson can in a blink of an eye.
″You know today was a normal day, the sun was blinding, school was average. But then a boy approached me, a boy with the name of Blake ″.
All colour in his face drained, as his face turned into a deep frown. The atmosphere in the air growing tense.
I got him now. It won’t be long until I get my well deserved answers. He should have known I would have found out eventually, he doesn’t think I’m that fucking dumb does he?
″Libby, you have to understand. We kept it from you to protect you″ He tried to explain but judging by the look on my face he knew I wouldn’t just ‘understand’.
″Why?″ I questioned, anger clear in my voice. ″Why did you think it was in my best interest to keep my best-friend from me?″.
I was trying my best to keep calm, I keep thinking of soothing and comforting words Grayson would whisper to me if he was by my side. He always knew the right things to say, in any situation.
He sighed, defeated. Just that sigh alone told me I was in for one hell of an explanation. He patted the side of the bed next to him which I hesitantly obliged and sat down next to him, making sure to keep a great distance between us.
″It wasn’t my choice″ He paused to take in a breath, ″To keep it from you. It was Elizabeth’s″.
I should have known she was the bottom of all of this, where there’s trouble involving this ‘family’ she would be right in the middle of it. It shouldn’t come to a surprise to me at all, but it did.
I guess it surprised me that she would be the one to do this for ‘my best interest’ when she’s the one who can’t even support her own family. Instead she wastes all of our needed money on alcohol and god knows what else.
But I didn’t say a word about it, I wasn’t going to mutter or yell anything until I got all the answers and explanations I needed.
″She didn’t turn to alcohol straight after Dad died, she was broken. We all were at the time, it wasn’t until Gabbie was three did she turn to it, she couldn’t cope raising all three of us on her own. That isn’t an excuse for what she’s doing to us, wasting our money but you have to understand, Libby. She didn’t just lose Dad that day he died,she lost a part of you too. I think she always favorited you since you were her only girl before Gabbie came.″ He informed me, looking at me for any sign of a word to leave my mouth. But like I said I would remain silent until I got my answers, for now I would just have to let my thoughts invade my mind as he spoke.
″You don’t remember the day Dad died. I know you don’t because you don’t have any memory of it″.
″You don’t because you were there with him″ He stated, my heart plummeting to the bottom of my chest.
″We had told you Dad died because of a heart attack, but that’s not the truth″ He revealed, he was not longer looking at my shocked face. He was looking down at his fumbling fingers, his head hung low.
It was then that I wanted to scream out, to cry, to yell profanities at him, to throw what ever I could and watch it smash into a million pieces just like my heart had. Everything I knew was a lie, the past seven years of my life have all been made up. None of it was true and the worse part was is that I had no memory as to why.
I had no recollection of why Dad had passed, but apparently I was with him when he had which is making me even more confused, why does this add up to my memory loss anyway. Maybe I was there in the room when he had his heart attack, that I was the one who found him. But then again, Jackson did say he didn’t suffer a heart attack.
″You and him were on your way to meet Blake at a small cafe in the middle of town, you and him were always joined by the hip″ He laughed softly, but sadness was still evident in his deep voice.
″He drove there, I remember it was snowing so there was no school. It was the first time it had snowed in years. The roads were covered in black ice, Dad lost control of the car and it swerved off the road″ He managed to croak out, I could tell he was about to lose it. Jackson never cried, I had never seen him cry.
Not even once.
″It tumbled upside down on the motorway, another car hit it. Lib, I’m not going to go into details but you were both rushed to hospital, but Dad died from the impact. But you, you were holding on. You suffered something the doctors called TBI also known as Traumatic Brain Injury, you were in a coma for a week and three days″ And that was when he broke down, his voice broke as he cried. He let his tears escape his eyes no longer being able to keep them in.
Tears started to prick my eyes as I watched him cry and thought about everything that was kept a secret from me. But that doesn’t give me my answers, why did they keep Blake from me?
My mind wasn’t functioning properly at this time, I know now why my memory had left me but why could I remember some of my childhood but not that day, and not waking up in hospital or not remembering my best-friend.
My scar, I had always had a scar just below my left collar bone but I always taught it was from something that happened before I could even start remembering things like a birthmark of sorts.
I rubbed my birthmark wondering if it had something to do with the car crash, Jackson noticed my hand and nodded his head slowly, ″Some glass from the car window impaled you just above your heart, doctors said you were incredibly lucky but you would need some blood transfusions from all of the blood loss, someone with the same blood type″.
″Elizabeth″ I filled in with a small sigh, he nodded his head again wiping away any remaining tears away from his face with both his hands.
″After giving you your blood transfusions through your IV drop you started to make progress, you would slightly move your fingers once a day or twitch your leg and that was all the signs we needed to know you would wake up soon″.
I looked up as I tried blink my tears away. Goosebumps now all over my body, none of his words were bringing back any bit of memory. I wanted so badly for them to but they hadn’t. I would have to try remember by myself.
″You woke up four days later, but you didn’t know where you were. You were awake but your brain wasn’t. You didn’t know anyone in the room, not even me or Elizabeth. You were like that for a few days, you wouldn’t even come home with us without screaming for help saying you were getting kidnapped. But we eventually managed to get you home and soon enough as the days went by you started to remember everything, you started to remember everyone, but not Blake″ He explained gently, as if he spoke any louder I would break and I felt as if I would have.
″But it was as if you died in the crash with Dad, when you woke up from the coma even though you couldn’t function properly we could tell instantly you weren’t the same person as before. You became cold, distant towards all of us and it broke her″.
I wanted to just scream and yell out ’Why, Why me?’. I know I wasn’t always the best person and I’m still not but I’m learning to try be along with Grayson’s help, but back then I was so innocent. I was a goody two shoes who sucked up to all of my teachers to try get a better grade.
″Why did you keep him from me?″ I asked sadly.
He looked at me pained, I could tell it was saddening him to talk about this but if they would have just told me in the first place this all wouldn’t be happening. Secrets don’t stay safe for long under this roof.
″You loved him″ he whispered out so lowly I could barely him but I had heard him as if he was blaring his words through a microphone. ″And I could tell he loved you too, but you two were always too afraid to admit your feelings for one another. You were both so young and pure and innocent that when you couldn’t remember him anymore we thought it was best for both of you if we blocked him out of your life, for good″.
I had to take in what he said before I stood up and started to pace up and down his small, cramped bedroom. I tugged at the ends of my hair in frustration, tears once again pricking my eyes, but I didn’t blink them away this time. I was too pained and too hurt and broken to even waste time trying to hide them.
I loved Blake and he loved me too. But yet I didn’t even remember his name, I couldn’t imagine the amount of pain I must of put him through and I wouldn’t want to either. Yes we were young but he was also my best-friend a best-friend I could have still had to this day if they would have just told me about him.
″It would have been too hard for you to understand that you had this person in your life who you could no longer remember, and it would have broke Blake to not have you even know his name. So we did what was best for both of you at the time″.
I was looking at the window watching cars drive by, watching birds fly pass as they went on with their day. Wishing I could just do the same, but I knew after today everything would change for me. I needed to talk to Blake, to apologise to him, to try and reconnect our friendship again after so many years apart. It was the least I could I do, I owe him that.
I might not love him anymore or remember all the years we spent together but I was hoping we could at least rekindle our friendship.
My eyes started to go fuzzy all of a sudden as I turned around to face Jackson, my movements becoming dizzy, a shooting pain ripped through my head as I fell back on the floor, my eyes rolling.
Then suddenly it all became dark.